Major League Sports Can Take a Flying Leap

By Gary Bennett

Empty stadium for a Major Leage Soccer match, summer 2020.

An amazing thing has happened to me and I suspect many others. I’ve found that I just don’t need to watch all these games on TV anymore.  I don’t miss live sports!  Not Major League Baseball, not the NBA, not pro hockey, and I suspect not the NFL when the time arrives.

I never thought I would say that.  Growing up I couldn’t get enough of the Baltimore Orioles. I vividly remember sneaking out to my dad’s truck at a very young age in an attempt to pick up the evening’s Orioles game on the radio. Some of my fondest memories are listening to games all alone in that old, dark truck and reporting the score back to my dad.

And it wasn’t just baseball.  Growing up and well into my adult life, pro football games became appointment viewing. Not because I was a big fan of any one team, but because there seemed to be nothing more American than watching and talking about football and the undeniable fact that it is exciting – the ultimate reality show, full of action, energy, feuds, and sometimes violence.

Golf, tennis, auto racing, and soccer?  I’m not sure these can even be considered sports. OK, I’ll give you soccer. But if most games end up 0-0, is it really much more than just some intense exercise? As for basketball and hockey, I can take them or leave them, but if nothing else is on, especially relatively late at night, I am drawn to them as a nice mindless way to end the day.

But no more.

Since major league sports have been on hiatus and off the air since covid-19 took over our daily lives, I’ve found that I can live without them. Sure, if they come back later this summer, I’ll watch some, but I don’t have to. There’s a big difference.

Just think of all the hours Americans could put to better use if fewer sports were on the air. When the time is right, we can even play team sports ourselves if we wish. In Frederick County there are softball, basketball, flag football, and soccer leagues for kids and adults of all ages. And just think how much healthier we would all be if we used this newfound time to simply exercise more and stay away from the mindless snacking that comes with watching sports.  I‘ve done a lot more walking, biking, and hiking recently as I suspect have most Americans. Americans used to be doers, not watchers.  I’m not sure where we went wrong.

What about professional athletes, you say?  Don’t they have the right to pursue their dreams. Well sure, but do we need to pay them such ungodly sums of money?  I understand they are entertainers and they are getting what the market will bear, but what does this say about us as a society. And what about the owners?  Aren’t they entrepreneurs that help make American great? No and no! Most made their billions before owning a major league sports team. Their team is a very expensive toy to them. By now we all realize, if we didn’t before, that the real heroes are doctors, nurses, teachers, first responders, store clerks and other essential personnel. We agree they all deserve much more pay than they receive now.  But how can we ever hope to get to a more equitable arrangement?

One way would be – I don’t know exactly how without being considered unamerican or (gasp) a socialist – to somehow limit the apex of the sports profession to the semi-pro level. This is not uncharted territory. A case can be made that American professional sports were semi-pro up until the advent of huge TV rights agreements in the 1980’s.  I can remember my heroes of the 60’s and 70’s needing off-season jobs to make ends meet. This is as it should be since these adults are playing children’s games for much of the year.

The editorial board of this paper and at least one local columnist have waxed poetic about the return of the Frederick Keys. That is fine, but what if the Keys players, who are not paid much more than minimum wage anyway, were shooting to make it to the top of their profession in Triple A baseball rather than the major leagues, which would no longer exist?  Would that limit their dreams? Not in the least. Only about one percent of minor league players ever reach the major leagues anyway. At Triple A they would be paid a handsome salary in the hundreds of thousands of dollars, the same level as other professionals who reach the top of their industry, but not the millions and millions of dollars that is so obscene and counterproductive for a healthy society. Billions of dollars could now be available for the real heroes if a redistribution plan using tax credits can be worked out. Beer companies could sponsor nursing homes instead of ball clubs. Obscenely rich Americans could buy and run a hospital. You get the picture. 

And don’t forget about the added benefit that would accrue to colleges. Doing away with major league sports would encourage the return of the true student-athlete. Once again, players would be playing for the glory of their school and to get a college education and not so much for that big payday. And who among us would not like to see the big football and basketball mills with their obscene budgets, administrators, and hangers-on brought down a notch? 

Stadium workers and team administrators at the major league levels and even sports writers will have to find other jobs, but that may be a price we have to pay to recalibrate our society. Already, stadium workers are seeing the writing on the wall as fans are prevented from attending games this summer. And as unlikely as this may seem, very few major league pro ball players, most of whom are coddled and receive more pay than they can ever hope to spend in a lifetime, have even bothered to donate any part of their exorbitant salaries to offset losses by stadium workers and staff. Instead they are quibbling with the billionaires about how to carve up their shrinking revenue pies. These people are not heroes.

The current pandemic conditions have pulled back the curtain on this unseemly business once and for all.  Whiny millionaire players and greedy billionaire owners don’t deserve our support. Nearly empty stadiums may continue well into the future but less TV revenue due to declining ad revenue due to declining viewership holds the key to getting sports right-sized once and for all.  What to watch instead?  May I suggest the History, National Geographic, and Discovery channels. They feature entertaining programming that helps us examine the human condition in ways sports can never do. Why, just recently I completed a six-hour miniseries on President Grant on the History Channel that was more than peanut-worthy.

King Trump

By Gary Bennett

The following ditty is sung to the tune of Steve Martin’s 1977 smash hit King Tut.  Our favorite president is in the starring role, of course. Apologies to Mr. Martin, one of my all-time favorites. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FYbavuReVF4

King Trump

Now when he ran for pres’dent,
He never thought he’d win
Just an infomercial
To get jobs for all his kin.
(King Trump)
How’d you get so lazy?
(Funky Trump)
Your grammar sure is crazy.
Born in New York City,
Isn’t it a pity.
(King Trump).

(King Trump)
Now, if I’d known
That I could not be King,
(King Trump)
I’d taken all my money
And bought my Vlad a ring.
(King Trump)

Never read the Constitution
(Funky Trump)
Have no fear of retribution!
Born in New York City,
People say I’m not so witty
(King Trump)

(Trump, Trump)
Bullshit by the pile,
(Disco Trump, Trump)
Bill Barr sure loves his style,
(Boss Trump, Trump)
Colludin’ all the while
(Rockin’ Trump, Trump)
His fans shout “Trump Sieg Heil!”

He gave his life for racism!
Orangish tint!
Knows 75 words!

Now, when I vote
Please don’t think that I’m a chump,
(King Trump)
I’d rather chew my arm off,
Then to side with ole king Trump.
(King Trump)

He should’a won an Emmy,
(King Trump)
I’ll sign the checks, please lem’me,
(King Trump)
Movin’ to Miami; shootin’ Lysol in my fanny.

He was born a rich tycoon-a, nasty questions clear the room-a,
(King Trump)

Steve Martin as King Tut, 1977

FSK Lions Step in to Provide Medical Equipment

By Gary Bennett

Ellen Bennett displays medical equipment available for lending through the FSK Lions Club.

As seen in the Frederick News-Post Feb. 19, 2020.

In August, 2019 when Frederick nonprofit Federated Charities announced their intention of shuttering their free used medical equipment program (Local Lions Clubs fill void, July 11, 2019), Francis Scott Key Lions Club knew they had to help.  

“With a motto of ‘we serve’, there was never a question of our club not stepping up and helping out,” said Gary Bennett, an FSK Lions Club member who took notice of Federated Charities announcement in the News-Post and took it upon himself to make something happen. “This is a needed program that just had to continue in some shape or form.”

As the July 11 news article reported, several other Lions Clubs in the county and surrounding area also provide free medical equipment to all who ask, but none of the three clubs serving the greater Frederick area had participated to this point. 

“The need is there,” according to Gary’s wife Ellen Bennett, who is a retired hospice and long-term care nurse and fellow Lion. “Many folks in our community just can’t afford the medical equipment they need, and they fall through the cracks because their health insurance won’t cover this needed equipment. We’ll lend it for free.”  Ellen Bennett will serve as volunteer program manager for the FSK Lions program.

“We will serve as a conduit for those with medical equipment to share to get it into the hands of those who need it.  It’s really not much different from a lending library,” said Ellen. We will ensure that all equipment is clean, disinfected, and in good working order when it is picked up.  

The FSK used medical equipment program will provide wheelchairs, knee scooters, walkers, rollators, bedside commodes, shower chairs, crutches and canes. Those with equipment no longer needed can contact the Bennetts through the regional Lions Clubs website at https://mdlions22w.org/.  Just find the tab “Medical Equipment” and then FSK Lions Club. Citizens needing equipment can use the same web address to get help.

Other Lions Clubs serving the immediate area with used medical equipment include Boonsboro, Funkstown, Hagerstown, Libertytown/Unionville, Mount Airy, New Windsor, Smithsburg, Taneytown, Union Bridge, Williamsport, and more.  Potential clients are encouraged to contact the Lions Club closest to them.

For the time being, the FSK program will operate out of Gary and Ellen Bennett’s garage in the Ballenger Creek area. “Trying to find an appropriate and permanent home for such a needed program is more difficult that you might imagine,” according to Gary.  “I’ve contacted numerous storage facilities and other likely targets such as other nonprofits to no avail,” said Gary.  “I know the Frederick community wants to help so if any of your readers know of a facility or can provide one of their own, we would like to hear about it. We need about 300 square feet. We don’t mind giving up our garage for such a worthy cause, but it’s not a good long-term solution for us or the Lions.” 

Indeed, finding an appropriate storage facility for the medical equipment is what has caused many Lions Clubs, including the Frederick and Yellow Springs clubs, to not participate. “Lions Clubs serving smaller communities that tend to have their own buildings are more able to provide a service like this,” said FSK Lions Club president Duane Voitel. “We are proud of the Bennetts for stepping up but we need the community to also help us. We don’t mind putting in the volunteer hours to coordinate something like this, but we just don’t have the funds or land to sit our own storage facility on. We’d certainly like to have something more centrally located in downtown Frederick so we can best serve the folks who need it the most. The International Lions Club does provide its own insurance.”

According to Gary Bennett, anyone needing equipment can contact them through the FSK Lions club and have it the next day.  Recipients are expected to pick up the equipment themselves, but in certain situations, the Lions can help with that, too.  Recipients can use the equipment for as long as they need but are expected to eventually return it so the Lions can lend it again.

“Elin Ross with Federated Charities has been invaluable in helping us set up this program,” said Gary.  “They’ve provided valuable consultation and advice and a waiver document that we are using. We’d also like to thank Jim Ensor with the Libertytown/Unionville Lions Club and Dennis Ahalt with the Mount Airy Lions Club for helping us build our inventory and Frederick’s Senior Services Division and Frederick Health Hospice who are helping to spread the word about this program.”

Recently celebrating in 60th anniversary, Francis Scott Key Lions Club has been serving the Frederick Community since 1959. They support a number of local, national and international charities and service projects including vision screenings for children in Head Start, daycare, private and afterschool programs, providing Leader Dogs to blind and low-sight individuals, and providing eyeglasses to those in need.  They are part of Lions Clubs International, the world’s largest service club organization with over 1.45 million members in over 200 countries. If interested in joining FSK Lions Club, contact info@fsklions.org, www.fsklions.org,  (240) 626-1511 or attend one of our biweekly meetings the second or fourth Tuesday of each month at Capital Crave and Frederick VFW on the Golden Mile. Dinner is at 6:00 pm and meeting at 6:30 pm.

Celebrating Apollo 11’s 50th Anniversary

By Gary Bennett

As seen in the Frederick News-Post Monday, July 15, 2019

As we mark the first trip to the moon 50 years ago on July 20, it is impossible to overstate how exciting this was to a war-torn and rioting country in the summer of 1969. Of course, not everyone was caught up in the excitement, but most were. Many Americans, especially those involved in the civil rights movement, rightfully pointed out the enormous cost they say could have been better spent right here on American soil combating poverty and any number of other social ills.

As a young boy, I was mostly oblivious to America’s troubles but there was no mistaking the real-life heroes we saw almost every month in 1968 and 1969 climbing atop the enormous rockets for their latest adventure. The Saturn V rockets that lifted the astronauts off the earth may have been enormous but commentators enjoyed telling us these men were traveling nearly 500,000 miles round-trip to the moon in darkness in a vehicle the size of a large Buick. The courage needed to do this was and still is breathtaking. All this played out right in front of us on TV – small black and white TVs with only a few channels – but TV nonetheless. For those of you not yet alive in 1969, trust me, you just had to be there.

In the late 1950s it was clear we eventually would have to go to the moon. The arms race with the Soviet Union and the fear of total annihilation was very real. The Soviets were developing larger and stronger rockets that could easily carry a nuclear warhead to the heart of America. When the Soviet Union’s first satellite called Sputnik launched in 1957 without any warning, Americans were shocked and afraid. NASA was founded shortly thereafter in 1958. To keep the Soviets from weaponizing the moon, President Kennedy, in 1962, set us on course to “go to the moon in this decade and do the other things, not because they are easy, but because they are hard.”  Wishing to survive and get ahead of the Soviets, most of the country was with him.

The Mercury and Gemini missions carried on almost uneventfully throughout the early and mid-60’s but then came the tragedy of Apollo 1 in early 1967. The deaths of three astronauts in a fire in their capsule during a training session saddened the nation to its core and almost ended our quest for the moon. But Soviet danger persisted and quitting the moon was never really an option. After pausing for almost a year to figure out what went wrong, the Apollo missions began anew with a vengeance in late 1967. In unbelievably rapid succession, nine successful Apollo flights – five unmanned and four manned — were conducted over 18 months including Apollo 8, which took humans out of earth orbit for the first time. It is not possible for me to forget Frank Borman’s stirring reading of the book of Genesis on Christmas Eve 1968 as he and his crew circled the moon. The photo of the blue earth rising over the stark landscape of the moon was jaw-dropping and awe-inspiring. Most of us felt very small and insignificant when we saw that photo.

The three men selected for the historic Apollo 11 mission were all veteran astronauts, each having flown one Gemini mission, but could not have been more different in temperament. 

Neil Armstrong, as mission commander, was a shy introvert, economic with words, not prone to suffering fools, and as cool under fire as any human could be. He is credited with saving Gemini 8 through his skill, calmness, and preparedness when his craft went into a violent, unexplained end-over-end roll in 1966. The fact that he was a civilian played a large role in him being named commander of Apollo 11. Unlike the Soviets, America wished to signal that they came to the moon in peace and not for military adventure. Armstrong died in 2012 at age 82. 

Buzz Aldrin, the lunar module pilot, was arguably the smartest of NASA’s astronauts. In addition to flying sixty-six combat missions over Korea, Aldrin has a PhD in physics and astronautics from Massachusetts Institute of Technology, specializing in manned orbital rendezvous. More loquacious than Armstrong, Aldrin has gone on to be perhaps the nation’s leading global space statesman and a media darling. Also not one to suffer fools, in retirement he famously punched out a critic who maintained the moon landing was faked. Aldrin is currently 89 years old and still speaking out.

Michael Collins, the command module pilot, is good-humored, thoughtful, lighthearted and loquacious. Of the three, he is the clear extrovert and prime suspect behind any pranks or horseplay. These lighter traits mask a smart and driven man who served in Europe after World War II, was a decorated test pilot, and an expert in pressurized space suits and extra vehicular activity or spacewalks. It also didn’t hurt that Neil Armstrong liked him immensely. As the command module pilot, Collins circled the moon while his compatriots on the lunar surface got all the glory. He didn’t mind, though. He famously said that he was happy to be along for the ride. Was there anyone ever more alone than Michael Collins as he orbited the moon 240,000 miles from home in the darkness of space? Collins is currently 88 years old and in good health.

Apollo 11 departed for the moon on July 16, 1969. Leaving earth orbit and heading for the moon was not news anymore. NASA had successfully done it three previous times with Apollos 8, 9, and 10. But the descent to the moon’s surface was another story. Hidden from most Americans was the fact that we almost didn’t make it. Along with radio problems that made communications with the craft difficult, the astronauts found themselves about three miles off-target. Hovering over boulders and craters, the astronauts disconnected from the computers that wanted to land there as scheduled and flew the craft manually. The extra maneuvering caused fuel supplies to dwindle to almost nothing. The world had little clue that this epic success was almost an unbearable tragedy. But somehow, some way, we soon heard Armstrong coolly mention over a crackled transmission “Houston, Tranquility Base here. The Eagle has landed.” And almost unbelievably, for the first time, there was a banner at the bottom of our TV screen we never thought we would see – “Live from the surface of the moon.”  The rest, as they say, is history.

Someday, maybe even right now, many people will see this foray to the moon as quaint and even worthless. I can assure you this was not the case at the time and is not the case now. Whether right or wrong, the very existence of America was thought to be at stake. And, it’s important to remember that we didn’t come back empty handed from the moon, and I’m not talking just about rocks and soil samples. The technological advances needed to pull off this enormous endeavor led to things like microwave ovens, compact cameras, stronger fabrics for clothing, protective coatings for our vehicles, improvements to firefighter suits, intruder detection systems, solar panels, seismologic advances, heart monitors and pacemaker systems, and quartz crystals used in clocks for precise timekeeping. This list can figuratively go to the moon and back. One can argue that these items would have come along anyway but assuredly not with the speed and rigor caused by the space missions.

So, what’s next?  The Trump Administration has recently announced plans for an orbiting lunar station, which is supposed to begin construction is 2020. Whether this actually happens or not is anyone’s guess. George W. Bush pitched something similar in 2004. New rockets from private companies like Blue Origin and SpaceX are in the works. Other nations like China are pursuing their own space agenda. It is not technology that keeps us out of deep space; it is the cost and political will. It may take a national emergency – like a warming planet that can no longer support its entire population – to get us moving again like the national emergency of Soviet menace and adventurism in 1957.

But until then please join me in celebrating this enduring achievement of mankind. The airwaves and book stores are currently packed with information on Apollo 11 and the mission to land on the moon. I’ve watched and read most of them.

I can recommend these TV specials: Apollo: Back to the Moon (National Geographic channel), Apollo’s Moon Shot: Rocket Fever (Smithsonian channel), Chasing the Moon (PBS), Apollo’s Daring Mission (PBS).  Some of these have aired already but DVDs exist for most. Last but certainly not least, you can experience the moon landing in real time like I did in 1969 on July 20 with Moon Landing Live on BBC America. Check your TV listings.

I can recommend these books: First on the Moon by Rod Pyle, First Man by James R. Hansen, Shoot for the Moon by James Donovan, Apollo 11 by Ian Passingham, and Magnificent Desolation by the man himself, Buzz Aldrin.