By Gary Bennett

Looking back half a century, there’s no denying 1975 and 1976 were momentous years. If you graduated high school then, you experienced a great deal: the Vietnam War and the military draft ended; a president of the United States nearly got impeached and sent to prison but was then pardoned; an unelected, grandfatherly “sort-of” incumbent took on a toothy, charismatic peanut farmer from Georgia for the presidency; and the nation celebrated its bicentennial.
The sensitive singer-songwriter craze of the early ’70s gave way to harder rock and a new thing called disco. Movies gave us classics like “Jaws,” “One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest” and “Rocky.” We watched shows like “All in the Family,” “M*A*S*H,” “Happy Days” and a brand-new late-night program developed just for us, “Saturday Night Live.” The recession of the early ’70s was mostly in the rearview mirror and the malaise of the late ’70s was still ahead. Times were pretty good and the future looked bright.
So, if you graduated high school in ’75 or ’76 like me, it is perfectly understandable — and permissible — to want to relive those gentler, more innocent times, even if only for one evening, at a class reunion.
You may be surprised to learn that even in this age of pervasive social media and virtual meetings, in-person class reunions are still a thing. A big thing. It is estimated that about 250,000 happen every year in the U.S. The reason is simple: we all crave connection. And let’s face it, high school was an important part of our lives and the friendships we made there often last a lifetime.
Since it’s early in the year, chances are good you are about to be invited to your own class reunion. Perhaps it’s a big one. My advice: go for it.
I attended my 50th high school reunion in August and had a wonderful time. The key, I believe, is to keep expectations low and egos in check. You can’t predict how the evening will unfold, but you can prepare. Get the registration list ahead of time, review yearbooks and check Facebook. Make it your business to know a little about the current lives of your classmates. Once there, circulate as best you can and show genuine interest in others, even those you barely knew. Name tags are your friends, so feel free to stare as much as you need. We all look different now, but there’s no denying we shared an exciting, formative time in fairly close quarters.

Sure, reunions can be scary, but that’s part of the appeal. If nothing else, they are fascinating anthropologic studies for the curious. Who got fat? Who remained a bachelor? Who had seven kids? And if you don’t go, there’s no getting it back.
With that in mind, here are some tips for having a swell time at your upcoming high school reunion.
Tip #1 — Go to it!
Why not go? The food will probably be good, the drinks are legal and the music is your own. If it’s a milestone anniversary, it will likely attract more classmates than any other. If you are on the shy side, that works in your favor — you can move from one superficial (but sincere) conversation to the next all night long. If you must, consider it a challenge to step outside your comfort zone. Working a room is a skill that will always serve you well.
Tip #2 — Don’t worry about how you look or what life has thrown at you.
Embrace who you are and be comfortable in it. The dirty little secret is that everyone is far more concerned with themselves than with you. At my 50th reunion, almost everyone was retired, so what you did for a living or how successful you were no longer mattered. It never even came up. Conversation naturally turned to safe topics like family, travel and hobbies.
Tip #3 — Don’t worry about awkward high school romances.
Just laugh them off. Chances are you and your old flame will barely interact. If you do, it’s easy to keep things brief — you have others to see. At my high school, only one set of classmates eventually married, so you won’t be alone in wondering about what might have been. Take it for what it was — an adolescent, hormonally driven rite of passage.
Tip #4 — Bury old grudges and competitions.
These things are so far in the past they barely matter now. Look at classmates with fresh eyes and let go of old judgments. Like you, everyone has evolved. That said, don’t minimize any high school bullying that was egregious. If you know your old tormentor will attend, you may decide not to go. But if you can summon the courage and keep expectations low, it can also be a growth experience.
Tip #5 — Circulate and talk to everyone.
As tempting as it is to stick with a few old pals, make a point of seeking out as many classmates as possible. Be sure to introduce yourself. A great opening line is “Tell me about your life!” or “What have you been up to?” It allows the other person to take the lead and control the narrative.

Tip #6 — Volunteer to help organize the event, even if you live far away.
It’s not fair for all the work to fall on the same people who stayed in their hometowns. In the age of Zoom, FaceTime and Google Groups, step outside your comfort zone and help, even if only a little. The more voices involved, the better the event will be.
Tip #7 — Be ready to show pictures of your grandkids, but let your classmate go first.
Everyone is proud of their grandkids, even if they’re at the top of their class in reform school. There’s no safer subject.
Tip #8 — Come with a spouse, significant other or friend.
They may not want to, but it’s usually safest. You don’t want to look lonely — even if you’re not — or like someone on the prowl. Years ago, I attended my wife’s 40th high school reunion as the unknown spouse and had a great time. I had no expectations and my only role was to be supportive. Sell that to your companion.
Tip #9 — Find out if any old teachers will attend and invite them if possible.
Teachers often have a lot invested in their classes and are sometimes only a few years older than their students. It was hard to imagine then, but at age 30, some teachers were only about 12 years older than their classes — a gap that feels minuscule now. Many are likely still around and would love to attend. At my recent reunion, I learned the head basketball coach planned to come. I bought a basketball on my way to the event, had all the players sign it and presented it to him in a small ceremony. He was genuinely touched.
Tip #10 — If classmates want to keep the night going, go for it.
If things are going well and the ice has been broken, snacks or drinks afterward can feel natural. I highly recommend it. You can continue conversations in a quieter setting and perhaps gain both an old friend and a new one.
Bonus tip — Leave a bit early.
If you’ve smiled, been friendly, self-effacing and genuinely interested in others, then — like the old show business saying — you’ll “leave them wanting more.”

Gary Bennett is a longtime Frederick resident who spends his time hiking, biking, volunteering and providing childcare for grandchildren. He is married and retired from his career as a nonprofit marketing executive.

























