By Gary Bennett
To help with your March Madness brackets, I am happy to share several tried-and-true strategies I’ve used in the past to become the laughing stock of my NCAA Basketball tournament contests. You can, too!
Laugh if you must, but my process of performing highly complex mascot and location analysis has nearly won me tens of dollars over the years. I maintain that my approach is just as good as relying on won-loss records, strength of schedule, conference standing or match-up analysis. In other words, who knows what’s going to happen? I know one thing—my approach is superior to my wife who relies on the prettiest uniform. Ha!
Please note that my recommendations will only get you to the Final Four. After that, you are on your own. Pick the category you like best, and please gamble responsibly.
Tough-Guy Final Four
Purdue Boilermakers
Illinois Fighting Illini
Idaho Vandals
Wright State Raiders
Yacht Rock Final Four
Vanderbilt Commodores
Siena Saints
Penn Quakers
Queens University Royals
Mythical Character Final Four
Duke Blue Devils
Saint Louis Billikins
Furman Paladins
Iowa Hawkeyes
Hard Working Final Four
McNeese Cowboys
Nebraska Cornhuskers
Purdue Boilermakers
Tennessee Volunteers
Egghead Final Four
Duke Blue Devils
St John’s Red Storm
Vanderbilt Commodores
Penn Quakers
Wrong Sport Final Four
Ohio State Buckeyes
Michigan Wolverines
Texas Longhorns
Alabama Crimson Tide
Historical Character Final Four
Michigan State Spartans
Virginia Cavaliers
UCF Knights
Troy Trojans
Mean Animal Final Four
Arkansas Razorbacks
Wisconsin Badgers
Long Island University Sharks
Florida Gators
Dog-gone Great Final Four
Gonzaga Bulldogs
Georgia Bulldogs
UBMC Retrievers
UConn Huskies
Don’t Look Up Final Four
Louisville Cardinals
Miami (Ohio) Red Hawks
Kennesaw State Owls
Lehigh Mountain Hawks
Ferocious Feline Final Four
Arizona Wildcats
Houston Cougars
Clemson Tigers
Northern Iowa Panthers
Rancher’s Delight Final Four
Santa Clara Broncos
South Florida Bulls
Texas Longhorns
SMU Mustangs
Don’t Bother Me, I’m on Vacation Final Four
Hawai’i Rainbow Warriors
South Florida Bulls
Miami Hurricanes
UCLA Bruins
Where Am I Final Four
(Bonus if you know where any of these schools are located.)
High Point Panthers
McNeese Cowboys
Wright State Raiders
Prairie View A&M Panthers
What the Heck Am I Final Four
North Carolina Tar Heels
Kansas Jayhawks
Akron Zips
Saint Louis Billikins
Bad Weather Final Four
Iowa State Cyclones
Alabama Crimson Tide
St. John’s Red Storm
Miami Hurricanes
Holy Roller Final Four
Saint Mary’s Gaels
California Baptist Lancers
Siena Saints
Penn Quakers