By Gary Bennett
In honor of National Grief Awareness Day on Aug. 30, I listened to some of the saddest songs ever written and recorded, trying to pick out the saddest ones of all.
I’ve experienced my own share of grief, like most people my age: parents dying, siblings dying, losing jobs and losing love.
But as a volunteer counselor at Camp Jamie — Hospice of Frederick County’s grief camp for children — I’ve also been privy to the heartbreaking grief of kids who’ve lost parents. Nothing compares to that.
At camp, it always surprises me how effective music therapy is with grieving children. There’s just something about sad music that makes you realize you are not alone in your feelings — that others have experienced what you’re experiencing.
So if you’re experiencing some form of grief right now or just need a good cry, I present to you my top 10 saddest rock songs. Most deal with lost love, but there are some exceptions.
My No. 1 sad song not only features being jilted at the altar but also a father dying and a mother dying of grief because her husband died (“the only man she ever loved”). Suicide is contemplated along with the existence of God. All in about 3 minutes!
1. “ALONE AGAIN (NATURALLY)”
Gilbert O’Sullivan, 1971
This obscure Irish singer somehow penned the saddest No. 1 song I’ve ever heard. Amazingly, he never experienced any of the misfortunes he wrote so evocatively about.
“Left standing in the lurch at a church were people saying, ‘My God, that’s tough. She stood him up. No point in us remaining.’”
2. “MY HEART WILL GO ON”
Celine Dion, 1997
This Oscar-winner for best original song for “Titanic” mourns love lost in the most tragic of circumstances. Who can forget the mournful flute arrangement as Rose recalls Jack slipping away into the icy depths?
“Every night in my dreams, I see you, I feel you. That is how I know you go on.”
3. “TEARS IN HEAVEN”
Eric Clapton, 1992
Clapton’s heartfelt ballad stems from unimaginable pain: mourning his 4-year-old son’s death from a fall from a 53-story building in 1991.
“Would you hold my hand, if I saw you in heaven? Would you help me stand, if I saw you in heaven?”
4. “LANDSLIDE”
Fleetwood Mac, 1975
Written and performed by Stevie Nicks, the song contemplates the regret that comes with getting older and things beginning to slip away.
“But time makes you bolder, even children get older, and I’m gettin’ older, too. I’m gettin’ older, too.”
5. “TRACES OF LOVE”
Classics IV, 1969
This ingenious songwriting mechanism uses souvenirs of a failed love affair to recall the pain.
“Faded photograph, covered now with lines and creases. Tickets torn in half, memories in bits and pieces. Traces of love long ago that didn’t work out right.”
6. “AT SEVENTEEN”
Janis Ian, 1975
This Grammy-winner for best pop female performance brutally depicts a teenage girl’s angst at not fitting in but desperately wanting to.
“To those of us who knew the pain of valentines that never came, and those whose names were never called when choosing sides for basketball.”
7. “CAT’S IN THE CRADLE”
Harry Chapin, 1974
Chapin’s only No. 1 song recounts the sad story of a dad who has no time for his young son growing up, but then the grown-up son turns the tables on his now-elderly dad.
“My son turned 10 just the other day. He said, ‘Thanks for the ball, Dad — come on, let’s play. Can you teach me to throw?’ I said, ‘Not today. I got a lot to do.’ He said, ‘That’s OK.’”
8. “BY THE TIME I GET TO PHOENIX”
Glen Campbell, 1967
This Jimmy Webb-penned classic explores the difficulty in leaving a failed romance when the other person still loves you.
“By the time I make Oklahoma, she’ll be sleepin’. She’ll turn softly and call my name out low, and she’ll cry just to think I’d really leave her, though time and time I’ve tried to tell her so.”
9. “DUST IN THE WIND”
Kansas, 1977
This song, featuring a mournful violin arrangement, regrets the fact that human life, with all of its hopes and dreams, is ultimately meaningless in the grand scheme of things.
“I close my eyes, only for a moment, and the moment’s gone. All my dreams pass before my eyes — a curiosity, dust in the wind. All they are is dust in the wind.”
10. “OPERATOR (THAT’S NOT THE WAY IT FEELS)”
Jim Croce, 1972
This tuneful ballad from the star-crossed, blue-collar rocker uses a fleeting friendship with a compassionate telephone operator to finally accept losing his love.
“Operator, could you help me place this call? ‘Cause I can’t read the number that you just gave me. There’s something in my eyes. You know it happens every time I think about the love I thought would save me.”
HONORABLE MENTIONS
Adele’s “Someone Like You,” The Beatles’ “Yesterday,” The Beatles’ “She’s Leaving Home,” Bee Gees’ “How Can You Mend a Broken Heart,” Eric Carmen’s “All By Myself,” The Carpenters’ “Rainy Days and Mondays,” Johnny Cash’s “Hurt,” Tracy Chapman’s “Fast Car,” John Denver’s “(Sometimes I Feel) Like a Sad Song,” Elton John’s “Empty Garden,” George Jones’ “He Stopped Loving Her Today,” Gladys Knight and the Pips’ “Neither One of Us,” Bobby Goldsboro’s “Honey,” Sinead O’Connor’s “Nothing Compares 2 U,” Roy Orbison’s “Crying,” REM’s “Everybody Hurts,” Snow Patrol’s “Chasing Cars” and Hank Williams’ “I’m So Lonesome I Could Cry.”
Gary Bennett is a longtime Frederick resident who spends his time hiking, biking, volunteering and providing childcare for grandchildren. He is married and retired from his career as a nonprofit marketing executive.