Spring is in the air at Longwood Gardens, making it a great time to plan a getaway to this exquisite destination. Longwood Gardens is perhaps the best example of humans and nature working together — and the beauty that is possible if we can do that.
My wife and I recently enjoyed an early March trip, but we’ve visited Longwood Gardens at various times throughout the year, and it has much to offer in any season.
Longwood Gardens is only about three hours from Frederick (125 miles on I-70 and I-95) in Kennett Square, Pennsylvania, part of the state’s Brandywine Valley near Philadelphia. It is a robust 1,000-plus-acre botanical garden, woodlands and meadows, all rolled into one, and one of the largest horticultural display gardens in the U.S. Over 1 million guests visit Longwood Gardens each year.
It is open year-round and provides a fascinating glimpse into plant life at all stages and at any time of year. Longwood Gardens employs numerous horticulturalists, scientists and researchers who focus on preservation, education and conservation. There are numerous events and performances to enjoy nearly every day, as well as educational lectures and hands-on workshops. But the star of the show is the more than 1,000 species of magnificently blooming flowers. We go for this unparalleled beauty.
SEASONAL DELIGHTS
There is something wonderful to see and smell any time of year at the Gardens. New life seemingly arises from every corner.
From January to March, your visit will be mostly indoors, under glass and warmly heated. You can wander from greenhouse to greenhouse and enjoy all the creations the master horticulturalists have put on display. Many are standing by to explain what you are seeing and to advise you on your own houseplant exploits.
Spring is prime time there. From March through May, you can enjoy a peaceful walk through unending blankets of color, as flowering trees put on a show along with dazzling tulips, fragrant wisteria and our favorites, the delightfully graceful lilies swaying in the breeze.
Currently in bloom are gorgeous, rare blue poppies and blue and lavender hydrangeas, wisteria and orchids. The horticulturalists explain these temporary beauties only last a week or two, but don’t despair if you miss them; nearly every flowering species is in full bloom this time of year.
From May through September, the Garden’s Festival of Fountains will delight you. The gardens are at their summer best, and towering, colorful, musically-timed fountain jets will enhance your experience.
We also enjoy exploring shady Pierce’s Woods to cool off and enjoy the wildflowers around the Grand Lake and the stunning countryside vistas from the Conservatory Overlook.
If you bring the kids, you won’t want to miss the award-winning and whimsically-themed Children’s Garden and fireworks displays. A summer performance series rounds out the activities. This season’s lineup can be viewed at longwoodgardens.org/events-performances.
In October and November, the aptly-named Chrysanthemum Festival steals the show. I’ve never seen so many breathtaking and creative displays of this old fall favorite. There are three treehouses to explore that provide a bird’s-eye view of the fall color below. There’s even an entire multi-acre meadow filled to capacity with golden mums that provides oohs and ahhs from visitors.
From November through January, A Longwood Christmas will take you back to a simpler time. You can wander the outside paths through hundreds of thousands of twinkling lights. Be sure to visit the historic main conservatory where you can warm up among magnificently decorated live trees, thousands of ruby red poinsettias and fragrant greenhouse-grown flowers of all types.
If you’d like to put off your trip until later this year, Longwood Gardens is working on a major expansion and preservation strategy called Longwood Reimagined that is scheduled to open Nov. 22. They promise “stunning new buildings, wondrous new indoor and outdoor gardens and fantastic new guest experiences.” I think we’ll check that out.
LOGISTICS AND DETAILS
Tickets are priced according to season but are still a good bargain, in my opinion. From roughly Thanksgiving to early May, adult tickets are $25. Seniors 62 and over pay $22. Children 5 to 18 are charged $13, and children under 5 are admitted free.
From mid-May to Thanksgiving, tickets are a few dollars more across the board. Tickets are timed at half-hour intervals to allow a limited number of guests to enter at a time, thereby cutting down on lines. You can stay as long as long as you like, however. I recommend allocating four to five hours to see most of the gardens, catch your breath and get a really good feel for it.
Hours vary, but in the spring (March through May), Longwood Gardens is open from roughly 10 a.m. until 6 p.m. Mid-May through September, it is open until 10 p.m. on Thursdays, Fridays and Saturdays and 9 p.m. on other days. It is closed on Tuesdays.
Tickets should be purchased in advance and are “rain or shine.” Refunds are not provided. Parking is free, but it can be a bit of a hike from the parking areas to the gardens. I’d leave about 15 minutes to accomplish this task. There is no tram service, but wheelchairs, scooters and strollers are allowed and available for rent.
Bringing food and drink into the gardens is not allowed, but there’s a picnic area just outside the park for visitors who wish to bring their own food. Pets and smoking/vaping are not permitted.
The Terrace restaurant within the gardens is a leisurely 10-minute walk from the Visitor Center. A self-service cafe and full-service dining room are both available there. Guests can also enjoy the outdoor beer garden at The Terrace, available seasonally and during select special events.
There is also a delightful full-service restaurant called 1906, named in honor of the year Pierre S. du Pont (1870-1954) purchased the grounds that were developed into Longwood Gardens. Reservations are recommended. 1906 offers fresh, American, seasonal cuisine, with a focus on locally sourced and sustainable ingredients. We had a wonderful dining experience there.
Outside the gates, many local restaurants offer discounted pricing for Longwood Gardens guests. I recommend that strategy if you go in the winter, as the restaurants within the gates are sometimes closed for renovation. We have enjoyed Floga Bistro, Sweet Amelias and Hangry Bear Creamery in Kennett Square.
Longwood Gardens is a pleasant day trip — about six hours roundtrip — but if you would prefer to stay over, there is no shortage of accommodations available in Brandywine Valley.
Many hotels, inns and B&Bs offer packages that include tickets to Longwood Gardens. There are close-by budget chains like Best Western, Comfort Inn, Fairfield Inn and Courtyard by Marriott.
But for a more individualistic, adventurous stay, I recommend The Bookhouse Hotel in downtown Kennett Square. It contains more than 5,000 books for your reading pleasure. Or try the historic Brandywine River Hotel in nearby Chadds Ford.
Gary Bennett is a longtime Frederick resident who spends his time hiking, biking, volunteering and providing childcare for grandchildren. He is married and retired from his career as a nonprofit marketing executive.
Another April Fools’ Day is upon us, and it couldn’t have come at a better time! What? Have you not watched the news lately?
This great American un-holiday features trickery, monkeyshines, hoaxes, shenanigans and hijinks. Why April Fools’ Day is not a federal holiday, I’ll never understand.
April Fools’ Day comes on April 1 each year. No one quite knows why.
Some think it is connected to the vernal equinox, where Mother Nature fools us by changing weather from hot to cold every other day. One thing is for certain, however: Perpetrators must holler “April Fools!” at the end of the joke to clue in the unsuspecting party.
Though the day has purportedly been celebrated for centuries by different cultures, its exact origin remains a mystery. Some historians trace it back to ancient Rome and the appropriately-named festival of Hilaria. Others peg it to medieval France, when some fools couldn’t get the days straight on the newly created Gregorian calendar. (That’s actually pretty harsh. Can you imagine changing calendars today? We get grumpy just turning our clocks back one hour.)
The Brits ran with the concept in the 1700s, often sending people on phony cuckoo bird hunts. Later came “Tailie Day,” which involved pranks such as pinning fake tails or “kick me” signs on unsuspecting back ends.
My family must have lots of English blood. I can vividly remember my unsuspecting mother, who worked overnight at a Celanese plant in the 1970s, coming home with a fibery tail pinned to her derriere seemingly every morning.
My own grandchildren got in on the fun, too, by taping a “kick me” sign to my backside before a trip to the mall. Of course, I knew about it, but that didn’t stop me from playing along and listening to the heartwarming giggles as we strolled along.
The classic April Fools’ jokes of covering the toilet with plastic wrap or swapping the contents of sugar and salt containers are all well and good, but I would like you to think bigger.
To motivate you, here are some of the large-scale, classic April Fools’ jokes executed in recent history. They deserve our solemn respect.
• Swiss TV covered farm workers’ record spaghetti crop, complete with video of people harvesting the noodles from trees.
• George Plimpton reported on a rookie pitcher named Sidd Finch who could throw a ball 168 miles per hour
• An actor portraying Richard Nixon near the end of his life in 1992 announced he was running for president again, to the horror of everyone.
• Taco Bell announced they were purchasing the Liberty Bell and renaming it the Taco Liberty Bell.
• MIT engineering students dismantled the dean’s car and reassembled it on the administration building roof.
•••
Gary as a cool, hippie-type dude.
Not to be outdone, I am happy to relate my own efforts.
Before I do, please note that I am always happy to be the butt of the joke if it embarrasses someone else, preferably my good-natured but long-suffering wife. Also note that shenanigans don’t have to occur on Aprils Fools’ Day, but it helps!
For years, we have vacationed with very good friends in Florida. My buddy and I like to drive, while my wife and his wife prefer to fly. As good and faithful husbands, we always promise to pick them up at the airport, and we do.
For some odd reason that probably dates to my childhood, I delight in dressing up in outrageous costumes to meet my wife and her friend at the airport. I typically have a sign welcoming them to Florida and meet them with exuberant jolliness, much to their chagrin.
The looks on their faces are priceless as I stand in the welcoming line when they emerge from airport security. There is nowhere to hide. Pretending to not know me doesn’t work either. They are putty in my hands.
I have shown up at airports as the following:
• an Italian playboy in short shorts and a jaunty hat
• a cool hippie dude
• an extremely overweight and uncool tourist
• an unemployed biker.
Pro tip, if you are thinking of trying this yourself: Notify airport security before you change into your getup in the men’s restroom. They’re usually not amused, but it’s the right thing to do.
If you’re wondering about my buddy, no, he won’t dress up. But to his credit, he doesn’t try to talk me out of it.
Unfortunately, the cat’s out of the bag for me now, and I’m forced to be more creative. After years of happily flying without me, my wife now begs me to fly with her. If that fails, she has taken to searching the car for suspicious clothing before I depart.
Little does she know, I have costumers up and down the East Coast who are awaiting my call.
Gary Bennett is a longtime Frederick resident who spends his time hiking, biking, volunteering and providing childcare for grandchildren. He is married and retired from his career as a nonprofit marketing executive.
Gary as the woefully out-of-place, jaunty European tourist, Armando.
New stadium, minor league team coming to Hagerstown this spring
By Gary Bennett
Rendering of Meritus Park in Hagerstown
This article appears in DayTripper Magazine, Spring 2024.
Meritus Park, the nearly $70 million, 4,000-seat stadium, financed by the State of Mayland, promises to be a game changer for Hagerstown, which has hosted minor league baseball for over 100 years. Construction began in the fall 2022 and is scheduled to wrap up in time for the opening game on May 3.
“It’s going to be an incredible facility not just for baseball, but for other events like festivals and concerts and will really provide a huge boost to Hagerstown’s downtown economy,” said David Blenckstone, general manager of Hagerstown’s new minor league baseball team and the stadium’s first tenant.
“The stadium will reflect the city of Hagerstown with an emphasis on railroads and bricks, two industries the city was really known for historically. We are proud of all the art that will adorn the concourses, too,” said Blenckstone.
Minor League Baseball’s newest team, the Hagerstown Flying Boxcars, will call the stadium home and compete in the Atlantic League. They are one of 10 teams in the Atlantic League this year. The players’ skill level will be tantamount to AA or AAA players.
Hagerstown Flying Boxcars logo including mascot Stryker and a C-119 “flying boxcar”
So, what’s a flying boxcar?
A team naming contest held last year garnered 1,700 responses. The clear winner was a nod to Hagerstown’s proud aviation past. The sprawling local Fairchild plant was a key builder of the C-119 Flying Boxcar for both the Navy and Marine Corps in the 1940s. The nickname aptly represents the giant military transport aircraft developed to carry both cargo and personnel into battle in Europe.
As for the stadium, Meritus Park will boast all the amenities you would expect from a minor league ballpark plus many you might not. Construction of the stadium is in the hands of the Maryland Stadium Authority, famous for their creative stewardship of Oriole Park at Camden Yards.
“The stadium is designed not just for the hard-core baseball fan but also for the casual one who is looking for an enjoyable, social evening out,” said Blenckstone.
One notable feature will be the 360-degree concourse that allows fans to walk completely around the inside of the stadium. That’s not something you find at Harry Grove Stadium or other typical minor league parks.
The stadium will have a full-service bar in the left field area and a beer garden in right. A picnic area greets you near the main gate and a family-friendly zone is right behind first base. The video board, lighting system and sound system are promised to be of major-league quality and state of the art.
Stryker getting ready for opening day
Attendees at an evening game can easily make a day of it because of the downtown location. A pleasant mile-long walkway called the Hagerstown Cultural Trail runs along the ballpark for about a half mile, connecting visitors to the arts and entertainment district, Hagerstown City Park and Fine Arts Museum.
Highly rated local restaurants within easy walking distance of the stadium include: Broad Axe, Bulls and Bears, 28 South and Schmankerl Stube—a quintessentially German-themed restaurant serving hearty Bavarian fare.
Fans will certainly have no trouble finding the stadium. It sits near the corner of West Baltimore Street and Summit Avenue in downtown Hagerstown right next to the old Hearld-Mail newspaper building. The stadium’s tall and imposing façade and light stanchions will dominate Hagerstown’s skyline.
Parking should be no problem either. The City of Hagerstown is contributing a 400-car parking deck right next to the stadium. Plus, two more existing parking decks are within 3 blocks of the stadium.
The season begins in early May. Get tickets at FlyingBoxcars.com.
Themed nights will include Silver Sluggers Tuesdays—special ticket prices and giveaways for those 55 and older—and Double Dog Days Wednesdays—bring your pooch and enjoy discounts on hot dogs. See a complete list is at FlyingBoxcars.com.
In Frederick, we think we know old. After all, we were part of one of the original 13 colonies and have a rich pre-American Independence history.
But we don’t know old like St. Augustine, Florida knows old.
It was founded in 1565 by Pedro de Aviles, Juan Ponce de Leon and other Spanish explorers. It is the oldest continually occupied European settlement in the United States. In 2025 it will celebrate its 460th anniversary. By comparison, Frederick County just celebrated its 275th anniversary.
For further context, St. Augustine had already been a thriving community for about 50 years at the time English settlers first set foot at Jamestown, Virgina, and a little later, at Plymouth Rock, Massachusetts.
St. Augustine sits in the northeast coast of Florida, just 15 miles south of Jacksonville on what is known as Florida’s Historic Coast. It is served by Jacksonville International Airport and is just off I-95 and Route 1. It is about a 12-hour drive from Frederick on a good traffic day.
St. Augustine attracts people from around the globe. About six million visit each year. I was pleased to hear a mix of languages and dialects as we strolled the streets.
Oldest wooden schoolhouse in America
It makes a lot of favorites lists, too. USA Today’s Reader’s Choice 2020 ranks it as “best historic small town.” Conde Naste Traveler ranks it No. 1 on its list of U.S. cities that are full of European charm.
My wife and I just returned from a short visit between Christmas and New Year’s Day. It had been on our bucket list for quite some time. We’ve been all over Florida from Jacksonville to Key West but never made time to visit St. Augustine.
I’m glad we did.
Along with its “old world” charm, St. Augustine is well known for its brick-lined streets, Spanish colonial architecture, legendary Fountain of Youth and warmth of its people. All were in ample supply during our visit.
From the moment you arrive, you’ll likely want nothing more than to walk around and take in the breathtaking Spanish architecture. Try to resist that! As cheesy as this may sound, we wholeheartedly recommend taking the on-and-off-again sightseeing trolley as soon as you can. It can’t be beat for getting the lay of the land and figuring out where you want to spend time.
In St. Augustine, the trolley costs about $40 per person, lasted for about an hour and half (if you don’t get off) and made about 20 stops all around the historic area. The trolley runs all day and you are free to get on and off at will.
History
If history is your thing, this is the place to be. The numerous American “firsts” are lovingly preserved and welcoming to locals and tourists alike.
Over 60 historic sites dot the downtown landscape including the oldest schoolhouse in America, oldest store, oldest jail and oldest public street, Aviles Street, which was also home to the first military hospital. Today, the Spanish Military Hospital Museum sits at the end of the street. The first Holy Mass in America was held in St. Augustine at the Mission Nombre de Dios—also the first Catholic mission.
You won’t want to miss a tour of Castillo de San Marcos, the large historic fort sitting on the bayfront that at one time protected St. Augustine from marauding invaders. It still stands like a sentinel dominating the skyline of St. Augustine. There’s even a moat (now dry) and a working drawbridge.
Castillo de San Marcos fort stands sentinel over St. Augustine
Not much is made of the reaction from and treatment of Native Americans when the Spanish arrived, and that is too bad. I would love to have learned more about that. There are some indications that many of the natives converted to Catholicism because of the way they were buried.
On the bright side, the Spanish rulers of St. Augustine did not allow slavery unlike their British counterparts to the north. Slaves from the British colonies ran away to St. Augustine every chance they got. There, they were free and welcomed into society. The nation’s oldest free Black community was established at Fort Mose in St. Augustine. The proud story is told at the Lincolnville Museum and Cultural Center.
Fountain of Youth
No visit to St. Augustine is complete without visiting the legendary Fountain of Youth. I’m happy to report this is not the tourist trap you may think it is. The grounds of the Fountain of Youth mark the location of the Native American Timucua village of Seloy and the first settlement of St. Augustine. Extensive archeological work in the 20th century proved this.
The Fountain grounds are now a national park with several acres of exhibits and demonstrations to enjoy. The best features, however, are the impeccably recreated village structures that shed light on Native American life at the time of Spanish settlement.
The Spanish Watchtower, mission church, Ponce de Leon Landing Memorial and canon firing demonstrations are all highlights of the park. The Fountain itself is underwhelming but a good spot for photos. We drank from the Fountain, but I can attest it did not work.
Grounds of the Fountain of Youth
Nights of Lights
If you visit St. Augustine any time between mid-November and late January, you’ll enjoy Nights of Lights. At this annual event, three million twinkling lights adorn every corner of the downtown historic area. A 30- to 40-minute walk will allow you to take in all the splendor. Nights of Lights was named one of the ten best holiday lighting displays in the world by National Geographic Traveler. I highly recommend it.
St George Street Pedestrian Mall
Begin at the Old City Gate and stroll along narrow but charming St. George Street for several blocks to find unique gifts and antiques at boutiques and vintage shops along the way. Numerous cafes and restaurants beckon you inside with their pungent, sweet, salty and savory scents. We recommend Harry’s or Meehan’s to quell your munchies.
At the end of the street, you’ll be treated with the Plaza de la Constitucion, the striking town square established in 1573. Now, it pays homage to the Spanish constitution of 1812 with a monument that is believed to be the only one to a constitution remaining in the world.
Henry Flagler
If you spend any time at all in St. Augustine, you’ll hear the name Henry Flagler over and over again. Flagler was a wealthy New York oil baron who saw the possibilities of St. Augustine before anyone else. In the late 1800s, he helped build a railroad from New York to Florida, ushering in its thriving tourism industry. His name adorns the city’s college, several beautiful hotels and the Lightner Museum, which holds an extensive array of Gilded Age artifacts.
Beaches
St. Augustine lies inland across the impressive Bridge of Lions from Anastasia Island and the Atlantic Ocean. Ocean beaches like sandy St. Augustine Beach and tranquil Crescent Beach await you. Farther south, Anastasia State Park is a protected wildlife sanctuary and includes the gorgeous St. Augustine Lighthouse and Maritime Museum. Both are worthy of a few hours of your time. Accommodations
St. Augustine sports a wide range of accommodations for every taste and budget. From hotels with suites to condos for large families, bed and breakfasts, camp grounds and budget motels, you will have no trouble finding exactly what you need. My wife and I opted for a budget motel within walking distance of the beach so we could watch the sun rise over Florida’s Historic Coast and then shuttle over to St. Augustine. It doesn’t get much better than that.
Ask a Marylander where they’re going this summer, and chances are you’ll hear the typical “Merlin” response, “downee ocean, hon!” (Translation: Down to the ocean, my friend.)
Of course, when you go to the ocean in Maryland, you’re going to just one place: Maryland’s iconic beach resort, Ocean City.
But let’s face it, Ocean City in the summer is not for everyone. It can be loud and obnoxious. I know it can be an acquired taste for many, including myself. But, as with, say, a stern mother-in-law, if you can give yourself a chance to know and love her, you’ll be repaid many times over.
There’s good news for people like us: We can fall in love with Ocean City all over again in the winter. It’s really the perfect antidote to the winter blues. So, if you haven’t tried Ocean City with a chill in the air, you’re in for a treat. A calm, quiet treat.
CITY SIZE
In the off-season, Ocean City returns to being a small village of about 7,000 residents, down from about 320,000 in the summer. This is about the size of Walkersville! With so few people and so much land and infrastructure, you’ll have plenty of room to spread out and relax.
OPEN FOR BUSINESS
Be advised: Ocean City is open in the winter. Not everything, of course, but everything that matters.
You’ll still have the iconic boardwalk paralleling the Atlantic Ocean from First to 27th Street. You’ll still have about 10 miles of sandy beaches to explore. You’ll still have beautiful sunrises over the ocean and sunsets over the bay.
When you bundle up for a brisk walk on the smooth, wooden-planked boardwalk in the winter, you’ll have plenty of room to watch the crashing waves without crashing into fellow tourists. Believe it or not, fires are also allowed on the beach, with a permit.
Most of the familiar boardwalk haunts will be open at least for limited hours in the winter. I’ve frequented all these in the winter myself: Thrasher’s French Fries, Wockenfuss Candy, Fisher’s Popcorn, The Dough Roller, M.R. Ducks and Purple Moose Saloon, to name a few.
HOTELS
Not all hotels are open in the winter, but you should have no trouble finding perfectly acceptable oceanfront properties to unwind and gaze upon the waves. Most will have indoor pools, too. The name-brand hotels are your best bet in the winter. Also, be sure to search out local favorites Carousel and Princess Royale. They and others will feature specials for Valentine’s Day and the long President’s Day weekend.
RESTAURANTS
Many of the smaller restaurants on the boardwalk are closed in the winter, but don’t despair. Food options are plentiful year-round for locals and brave tourists. I recommend Harborside Bar and Grill, which reopens Dec. 15, for burgers and comfort food, in West Ocean City. Fager’s Island is a fine upscale restaurant worth visiting in North Ocean City. Other local favorites are Marlin Moon, Palm, Coral Reef, Captain’s Table and The Restaurant at Lighthouse Sound.
DOGS AND BIKES
If you have dogs and want to bring them along, the offseason (Oct. 1 to April 30) is for you. Dogs are allowed on the beach anytime. You’ll have ample room to throw that frisbee or play ball. For a little green space, head up to 94th Street for the Dog Playground. It comes complete with a doggie pool, a small dog area and covered seating with plenty of benches. You’ll need to register your dogs in person at Northside Park on 125th Street or online at oceancitymd.gov/rec. Passes are $10 for one day and $20 for three days.
On those relatively warm winter days that are become increasingly normal, head out by boat to the sandbar just north of Hooper’s Crab House where you’ll likely see plenty of dogs frolicking in the shallow water.
Bring your bike, too. Bikes are also allowed on the boardwalk at any time in the winter. The same goes for rollerblades, scooters and other self-propelled and small engine apparatuses. Rentals will be hard to find, so bring your own. Up and down the boardwalk from start to finish is a perfect 5-mile circuit.
Dogs frolic in the cold, shallow Ocean City surf.
FISHING
The typical fishing season in Ocean City is May through October, so you may not be able to charter an excursion during the off-season, but you can do some ocean, bay, surf or pier fishing on your own any time of year. A valid fishing license for the Atlantic Ocean and coastal bays is required.
Ocean City bills itself as the “white marlin capital of the world,” but several other species are plentiful and in season at any time of year, including American eel, black drum, black sea bass, bluefish, croaker, grouper, mahi-mahi, red drum, Spanish mackerel, spotted seatrout, flounder, wahoo, and weakfish.
INDOOR MINI GOLF AND ICE SKATING
Old Pro Golf has an under-cover course at 68th Street called, appropriately, Undersea Adventure. There’s no better way to while away a couple hours putt-putting your way in total warmth through whales’ mouths and windmills and up and down long hills and curves.
The beautiful oceanfront Carousel Hotel at 118th Street has an indoor ice-skating rink open to the public. Between October and May, you can reserve the rink for two-hour time slots for $125 — perfect for a getaway birthday party.
WINTERFEST OF LIGHTS
If you go between Nov. 17 and Dec. 31, you can enjoy Winterfest of Lights, a mammoth display of holiday lights you can stroll or ride through on a handy tram in 58-acre Northside Park. The animated light displays include a 50-foot tree, flying reindeer and hot chocolate and photos with Santa. This is a much larger display than anything available in Frederick. It’s on par, scale-wise, with the large Christmas lights display in Olney but at a fraction of the cost. The price per person to go through the Olney display: $39. Ocean City’s Winterfest: $6.
ASSATEAGUE ISLAND
You can head a little south of Ocean City for a beautiful escape to Assateague Island. The island itself is 37 miles long and spans Maryland and Virginia. You’ll want to stop at Assateague Island State Park, which has two miles of pristine beach. The nearby marshes are the homes for hundreds of species of wildlife you can spot in the off season, including the famous wild horses. The 100 or so horses roam free and make for great photos. But keep your distance. They are wild animals, after all. The Assateague Island National Seashore Visitor Center offers interesting exhibits including marine aquariums, touch tanks and a film about the wild horses.
View from our winter time, ocean front, reasonably-priced hotel.
PUBLIC PARKS
Ocean City is home to several public parks and recreational areas. Some of my favorites include Inlet Park, which is at the southernmost tip of the boardwalk and features great views of the Atlantic and Ocean City’s official time capsule. Northside Park at 125th Street offers 58 acres of hiking trails, a playground, fishing lagoon, picnic areas and an indoor gymnasium. Sunset Park has a bayside promenade with fantastic views of the bay and Assateague. The Downtown Recreation Complex has basketball courts, a skate park, two tennis courts, a playground and an area for bay fishing.
OUTLET MALL IN WEST OCEAN CITY
You can easily spend an entire day at the Outlet Mall in “West O,” as the locals call it. Over 30 outlet shops feature discounts on apparel, footwear, jewelry, handbags, kid’s clothing and eats.
FOX GOLD COAST THEATER
You can kick back and relax in heated recliners and catch the latest movie you can’t seem to find the time to enjoy in Frederick. The theater is on Coastal Highway at 113th Street behind the Goad Coast Mall.
BAR SCENE
If hitting the bars is more your style, Ocean City naps a bit in the winter but certainly doesn’t hibernate. Local favorites like Brass Balls Saloon, Seacrets, Fager’s Island and Pier 23 are open and inviting places to sample local beers and cocktails.
And speaking of local cocktails, don’t forget to sample Ocean City’s own original Orange Crush at just about any bar in town. I heartily recommend you go to the source of this concoction at Harborside Bar and Grill in West Ocean City, where you can also have the best burger in town. Be forewarned, it is the quintessential biker and dive bar.
OCEAN CITY PERFORMING ARTS CENTER
For a more genteel evening, head over to the Ocean City Performing Arts Center. Located inside the Roland E. Powell Convention Center at 4001 Coastal Highway, the center provides local, regional and national musical acts, plays and a variety of off-Broadway shows.
The venue is similar to our Weinberg Center, with a 1,200-seat auditorium, two tiers of fixed seating and a concession area. During the off-season, they specialize in orchestral shows, stand-up comedians and tribute shows.
OCEAN CITY LIFE-SAVING MUSEUM
Near the end of the boardwalk at the inlet is the Ocean City Life-Saving Museum. There, you’ll find exhibits of the great storms that have battered Ocean City over the years, sea life, shipwreck finds, mermaids and how life-saving is performed in Ocean City.
BERLIN
The historic town of Berlin is only 8 miles west of Ocean City and well worth a visit. Like Frederick, it has been designated an arts and entertainment district. Its downtown has over 60 retail shops, restaurants, art galleries and music venues. You can explore Berlin’s rich history at Taylor House Museum.
SALISBURY
Salisbury is an easy 30-minute car ride to the west. You won’t want to miss The Country House, “the largest country store in the East,” as it is billed. It’s located at 805 E. Main St. and is quite impressive, with 16,000 square feet of gifts, antiques, home décor, linens, florals, baskets, jewelry, food items and seasonal items.
Gary Bennett is a longtime Frederick resident who spends his time hiking, biking, volunteering and providing childcare for grandchildren. He is married and retired from his career as a nonprofit marketing executive.
The goal-oriented author enjoying a crisp day on the boardwalk.
Every time I make my way to Siesta Key, Florida, the terrific steel-drum-infused Beach Boys song “Kokomo” comes to mind. “Everybody knows, a little place like Kokomo … that’s where you wanna go, to get away from it all.”
I’ve been getting away from it all for close to 40 years now, and it’s the same place almost every year — beautiful Siesta Key. It’s a delightful barrier island that juts into the Gulf of Mexico in Western Florida about 70 miles south of Tampa.
The island itself is only eight miles long and crescent-shaped. It’s bordered by the Gulf of Mexico on the west and the Intercoastal Waterway on the east. The vibrant, handsome city of Sarasota is close by, too. That’s where the Orioles train each spring. Two charming drawbridges connect Siesta Key to the mainland.
Florida, of course, sports hundreds of miles of beaches on the Atlantic Ocean and the gulf. It’s hard to go wrong with almost any of them. But if you want calm, warm water almost any time of year; gentle surf; pristine, white powdery sand; and quiet, minimally invasive nightlife, Siesta Key is the destination for you, too.
STAR ATTRACTIONS
Of its many qualities, the real star of the show in Siesta Key is the white, cool-to-the-touch sand, rated as some of the world’s finest. It’s clean, dazzling white, and feels like confectioner’s sugar. Scientists say this is because it’s made up of nearly 99% quartz crystals, with little to no chipped shells mixed in. You’ll find nothing like it in the beaches along the Atlantic Ocean. There is no such thing as burned feet due to sand in Siesta Key.
Gentle, shallow, azure waves lap continuously at your ankles.
For nine months of the year, the co-star to the beautiful white sand is the gentle, warm water. You rarely need to worry about waves knocking you over or shocking yourself with cold or even cool water as you enter the surf for the first time. Mostly, the water temperature hovers in the high 80s, which approximates the air temperature. You can literally take your noodle out into the gentle surf and bob for hours while chatting with friends or enjoying an adult beverage. There has been no scientific research to my knowledge to prove this, but I am convinced of the healing powers of the gulf waters. I certainly feel rejuvenated after a few hours in it.
BEACHES
Siesta Key is actually made up of three beaches. Each seems to have its own personality.
Siesta Beach to the north is a busy public beach, complete with tennis and volleyball courts, shaded playgrounds and a bustling concession stand. It has year-round lifeguard protection. There is a fun drum circle one or two hours before sunset each Sunday. Teenagers, 20-somethings and day-tripping families flock here.
Crescent Beach, in the middle of the island, is more secluded and private, with only one public access trail. It is perfect for, shall we say, the more mature crowd. It is dotted with pools, palm trees and lovely condos to rent for as little as three days or as much as a year. Loggerhead sea turtles use this beach to lay eggs and nest for up to six months. The beach is kept dark at night so as not to disorient them. There have been nearly 400 total nests established so far in 2023. Chances are, you’ll see some nests on this beach that have been staked off by biologists.
Lovely, fluttering seagrass on the Siesta Key beach.
Turtle Beach to the south is a sportier, family play beach. It’s a great location for paddle boarding and snorkeling. An abundance of seashells makes it beachcomber’s paradise. There are lots of shark’s teeth, too, to impress the kids.
All three beaches feature breathtaking sunsets; gentle, easy-going waves; and beautiful, shallow, azure water. Young parents can feel secure allowing their pre-school kids to play unattended at the water’s edge. Each beach has been recognized for cleanliness, water quality and safety.
The Travel Channel ranks Siesta Beach as one of the nation’s top 10 beaches. It has also been recognized as the No. 1 beach in the U.S. by Stephen D. Leatherman (aka Dr. Beach), director of the highly respected Laboratory for Coastal Research. It continues to receive recognition across the country and world as one of the top coastal destinations. International visitors abound. There is a cacophony of languages to be heard up and down the island.
GETTING THERE
If you’ve seen any of my contributions to 72 Hours, you may know I love road trips. My best friend and I have made this trip by car many times, picking up our less adventurous (OK, saner) wives at the airport. The 1,200 miles from Frederick to Siesta Key may seem daunting, but it’s really not too bad. You can depart from Frederick at 8 a.m. (preferably on a weekend) and be in Daytona Beach or Ocala (depending on which way you go) by 8 p.m. After a good night’s rest, you’ll be in Siesta Key by lunch time. If you really want to push it, you can make it all the way to Siesta Key in about 16 hours, mostly down I-95.
Siesta Key has breathtaking sunsets over the Gulf of Mexico nearly every night.
Of course, you can easily fly into Tampa, St. Petersburg/Clearwater, or Sarasota International Airports from BWI or Dulles in just about two and a half hours and rent a car to complete your trip. A round-trip plane ticket to Tampa and back to BWI on Southwest recently ran us about $450 each. We then rented a mid-size car for 10 days for about $600 at Enterprise.
While on the island, take advantage of handy and free shuttle services when you can. Siesta Trolley, Jonny’s Original Free Rides, Froghopper and Key Life Shuttle will all deliver you to the commercial parts of the island in a relaxed, fun atmosphere.
WHERE TO STAY
One thing you should know about Siesta Key is that there are no hotels. This has been a controversial subject among locals for years. They have, time and again, prevented the big hotel chains from encroaching on the island. For tourists like us, there are plusses and minuses to this stance. There is no denying the lack of hotels keeps a certain charm about the island intact. On the other hand, this means condo owners rule, and rentals can be pricey.
There are plenty of condos, big and small, up and down the island to suit every taste. Three of our favorites include Sea Shell, Midnight Cove and Palm Bay Club. There are even campgrounds at Turtle Beach for the campers among us.
We and another couple just finished up 10 days at a typical five-story condo in the middle of Siesta Key in the front unit with a panoramic view of the Gulf for about $4,500 or about $450 per night. Nearly a quarter of this price is made up of various state and local taxes placed on tourists. We have been loyal to our condo over the years, staying at Sarasota Surf and Raquet Club almost every trip. But, if you decide to go, it would be wise to consult with a real estate agent who can do all the legwork to find the best value for you. They are paid by the condo owners to find renters.
Prices vary by season, of course. In-season in Florida is generally winter and spring. Prices will be higher then. Our annual trip in September is off-season and a bit cheaper. It also has the added benefit of less tourists due to schools being in session all over the country. Many owners do not rent their condos off-season.
WHAT TO DO
Many people, including us, are more than happy to just chill — spend all day reading, chatting and snoozing under big umbrellas and floating in the warm gulf waters. But if you are more energetic, there is no lack of things to do. I heartily recommend visits to at least four local institutions we have enjoyed.
Ringling Museum of Art, named after circus magnate John Ringling, sports 66 lush acres and one of the largest art collections in the country. Ringling’s mansion is a stunning Gothic style palazzo with sweeping views of Sarasota Bay.
Marie Selby Botanical Gardens is a tropical oasis on the shores of Sarasota Bay. It is an open-air museum with more than 20,000 colorful plants, a butterfly garden, Koi Pond, orchid display and art exhibits.
Mote Aquarium has a variety of sea life from the smallest creatures to the largest predators. A shark habitat and hands-on exhibits round out the offerings.
The Legacy Trail is a 20-mile hardwood biking trail from nearby Sarasota to Venice, Florida, through a thick, lush canopy of vegetation. Be sure to watch out for the frequent “alligator crossing” signs as you roll along at a comfortable 10 miles per hour on the flat terrain. There are frequent rest stops along the way.
The beautiful seaside pool at Sarasota Surf & Racquet Club.
Of course, there are the requisite boat rentals, golf courses, fishing charters, parasailing excursions, jet skis rentals and beach cars to tool up and down the island. Most of these commercial offerings happen at the far northern or southern tips of the island, leaving the large middle section blissfully noncommercial.
There is terrific shopping in Siesta Key Village that includes a farmers market every Sunday from 8 a.m. to 1 p.m. “The Village,” as it is known to the locals, is a quaint, mile-long shopping and eating district at the northern end of the island. You’ll likely find yourself drawn here many evenings during your visit. Doors are wide open and inviting. The aroma from the restaurants are exquisite. Most of them sport live acoustic music that gives the area a laid-back, beachy feel. Young people are drawn here, including the cast of the MTV series “Siesta Key.”
WHERE TO EAT
If you venture into Sarasota or Venice, you can enjoy upscale, 4- and 5-star restaurants, like Fins at Sharky’s, Marina Jacks, Antoines, Michael’s on East and Flemings. However, I recommend you mostly stay on the island and eat where the locals eat.
Blasé Café, Gilligan’s Island Bar & Restaurant, Crescent Club, Island House Tap & Grill, Siesta Key Oyster Bar, Sniki Tiki and Captain Curt’s are some of our favorites. You won’t want to miss Broken Egg or Toasted Mango for breakfast at least once during your trip. Other top restaurants on the island include Walt’s, Turtle’s, Ophelia’s on the Bay, Flavios, Café Gabbiano, Siesta Key Oyster Bar and The Old Salty Dog.
The Gulf of Mexico has 87 degree water in September.
Despite a pesky smattering of Nationals fans, Frederick is unquestionably Orioles territory. And like many of you, for better or worse, I’ve always had a love/hate relationship with the Orioles. Just like a wayward brother, I can’t stand them for a while, but as time goes by, I do care what becomes of them.
The O’s are playing surprisingly well this season, but even in the lean years, we still had that oasis of a ballpark to visit – Oriole Park at Camden Yards. That modern, yet retro-looking stadium in the heart of Baltimore with the iconic B&O warehouse as its backdrop started the baseball stadium building craze back in 1992. Since then, almost every major league team has either built a new park like OPACY or has made major renovations to their existing park to create a destination for fans.
While I’m not too interested in the success of any other major league team, I do very much enjoy visiting other major league ballparks. Unlike football stadiums (which are never called parks,) no two baseball parks are alike, not even the playing dimensions! Major League parks tend to be little cities unto themselves and a microcosm of humanity from all walks of life. In short, they are fascinating!
Think of a never-ending food court full of delicious food that is never good for you, a multi-level shopping mall, enormous escape room, rollicking music hall, a spacious outdoor lounge under the stars, helpful talk therapy session and expansive entertainment venue all rolled into one. And with more people-watching than even the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills could stand!
My fascination with ballparks goes back to my youth and the occasional family visit to a favorite uncle in Baltimore. Without fail, one of the highlights of these visits would be a trip over to old Memorial Stadium. I can still remember the first time I caught a glimpse of the greenest grass I had ever seen in that mammoth expanse of outfield as I ascended the escalator. Other perplexing and wondrous sights, sounds and (especially) smells awaited this rural, pre-teen kid who never dreamed he’d actually be in a place his heroes played and only occasionally saw on TV.
Comerica Park in Detroit, MI
Soon after college in 1980 I embarked on my professional career and was introduced to the glory and misery of corporate business travel to faraway cities. Thankfully, nearly all had major league baseball teams that were at home during my visits.
That’s when I began my lifelong hobby of collecting major league baseball stadiums. Not physically of course, although I do have many photos and souvenirs in my home, but as fond memories tucked away in the corners of my mind. To me, there is nothing better than getting off by myself in some faraway city to catch a game under the lights after a long day of dealing with demanding clients and irritable colleagues.
In August of this year, I finally finished up. I recently visited Dodger Stadium in Los Angeles and thus completed what I call my lifetime grand slam, visiting the home ballparks of all 30 major league teams. To be honest, I have not yet been to a couple of the newer stadiums, but I have been to all 30 major league cities and their home parks at the time, so I’m counting it!
To me, this was a great achievement. But I’ve come to learn it might not be so great after all and certainly not unique. Thousands of people have completed this quest. They are called “ball park chasers.” They even have a website: (ballparkchasers.com).
The world record is a breathtaking 30 parks in 24 days by a fellow named Chuck Booth in 2009. He had to do some East coast day/night doubleheaders to achieve that number. I’ll bet he’s also single.
He has my respect. I completed my lifetime quest just a few parks at a time. It was only after I retired a few years ago that I actually took what you might call a baseball trip—a grueling eight-day, six-ballpark drive around the Midwest to catch the “fly over” parks. My wife went with me. She may never be the same.
In the last couple of years, I’ve also scheduled mini vacations with pals to finish up cities I had somehow missed along the way. This included quick 2-day forays to Detroit, Denver, Arlington, TX, and Los Angeles.
Busch Stadium in St. Louis
Before I give you my Top 10 list, let’s get one thing out of the way: I didn’t really like the two oldest parks and the most storied one. Sacrilegious? Maybe, but that’s how I feel. Despite improvements made along the way, Fenway Park (1912) in Boston and Wrigley Field (1914) in Chicago, feel their ages. The seats are small and sometimes not positioned correctly. Concourses tend to be narrow and the fan bases can be, shall we say, overly exuberant. One of Wrigley Field’s concourses even sits underground, which gave me a feeling of claustrophobia.
Yankee Stadium in New York has a corporate feel to it. It’s hard to explain. It’s like they tried too hard to mimic old Yankee Stadium in every way. Lines are long and the food is very expensive. Unfortunately, the fan base takes obnoxiousness to a whole new level making the game-day experience for visitors and families poor at best.
Gary Bennett at Globe Life Field in Arlington, Texas
MY TOP TEN BALLPARKS
10. Target Field – Minneapolis, MN – Minnesota Twins The park is downtown with a terrific cityscape. I loved the statues of Twins’ greats on the concourses and the big sign in center field featuring their original logo: one player representing Minneapolis, the other representing St. Paul, shaking hands over the Mississippi River. Wonderful!
9. American Family Field – Milwaukee, WI – Milwaukee Brewers This park has a cool roof, brats, and Bernie Brewer coming down a slide when a home run is hit. Unfortunately, the park is not in downtown or it would be higher on my list. The very best part: The crowd exuberantly singing “Roll Out the Barrell” complete with accordion accompaniment during the seventh inning stretch!
8. Coors Field – Denver, CO – Colorado Rockies This park is one of the best with stunning views of the Rocky Mountains and a great, natural park-like feature inside the stadium that includes trees and a stream. Even in mid-July the air is so fresh and clean that you hate to leave.
Coors Field in Denver
7. T-Mobile Park – Seattle WA – Seattle Mariners The site of this year’s All-Star Game is tucked in next to the city’s football stadium and a train depot and has an operating train within the park. It’s a downtown park with great views of Puget Sound. It has what looks like a giant umbrella atop the park. That gives it an open-air feel even when the roof is closed.
6. Busch Stadium – St. Louis, MO – St. Louis Cardinals This park features the very best cityscape in all of baseball. You just can’t beat the view of the gateway arch and the feeling of smallness you get when you gaze upon it during the game. This park does a wonderful job of depicting its abundant history, too. Cardinals’ games are always sold out so the energy in the stadium is amazing, but it can feel crowded.
5. Petco Park – San Diego, CA – San Diego Padres A beautiful park in the heart of San Diego’s Gaslamp district. The cityscape is just about unmatched. The incorporation of the iron company façade in left field, which the park was built around, was a master stroke that gives the park character. The park also has the major’s second-best steak sandwich, just after Philadelphia.
4. Dodger Stadium – Los Angeles, CA – Los Angeles Dodgers This is the third oldest park still operating (1962) but it doesn’t feel it. Overlooking the San Gabriel Mountains, it provides stunning views from all over the stadium. There’s sort of a coolness to being at a Dodger’s game that is palpable and unmatched anywhere else. The Dodger Dog really is the best in all the majors.
3. Oriole Park at Camden Yards – Baltimore, MD – Baltimore Orioles What can you say about my home park? It really is amazing. I made it to this gem of a stadium just a few weeks after the inaugural game and looked on approvingly at the warehouse, Utah Street, flag court, and Boog’s Barbeque. Simply mesmerizing! When the O’s are hot, there’s no better place to catch a game.
2. PNC Park – Pittsburgh, PA – Pittsburgh Pirates This park features a beautiful cityscape, but this one is notable for incorporating the Pirates’ gold and black colors on nearby bridges and buildings. It nestles up nicely against the Allegheny River. Since it is a relatively small stadium, all the seats are terrific. You almost feel a part of the action. It’s just a shame the Pirates have fallen on perpetual hard times. When they are good, the place really rocks.
1. Oracle Park – San Francisco, CA – San Francisco Giants For me, there is just no better place to catch a game than stunning Oracle Park. It is nestled up so close to McCovey Cove that home runs splash into the bay just about every game. The food is creative. The weather, perfect. It’s the best walk around the park of them all. Stadium is a pleasant, easy walk from downtown.
MY WORST FIVE STADIUMS
Tropicana Field – St. Petersburg, FL – Tampa Bay Rays Just a terrible place for a game. A non-retractable domed stadium, it is dark and dank and lacks any kind of energy from the sparse fans.
Ring Central Coliseum – Oakland, CA – Oakland A’s Just a horrible, mostly empty stadium set inexplicably in an industrial area. The seats are set much too far away from the field. No wonder the team is contemplating a move to Las Vegas.
Guaranteed Rate Field – Chicago, IL – Chicago White Sox Set in the southside of Chicago, the neighborhood is not the best and there’s not much to do after the game. The stadium has a steep design that makes you feel far away from the action.
Nationals Park – Washington, DC – Washington Nationals A big, impersonal park with no views of the monuments. What were they thinking? Unfortunately, the Nats lost their Senators history when the franchise relocated to Texas.
Angels Stadium – Anaheim, CA – Los Angeles Angels The stadium is not only in the middle of nowhere, but it takes forever in hellish LA traffic to get there. The boulder feature beyond the centerfield fence seems pointless and has nothing to do with LA.
MOST INTERESTING FOOD ITEMS (I’VE TRIED THEM ALL) Poutine – Toronto Blue Jays Dodger Dog – LA Dodgers BBQ Burger – Kansas City Royals Donut Burger – Philadelphia Philles Slider Dog w/Fruit Loops – Cleveland Guardians 4-Way Chili – Cincinnati Reds The Mega Slice – St. Louis Cardinals Prime Rib Sandwich – Houston Astros Fried Dough Sundae – Boston Red Sox Wisconsin Ultimate Cheese Fries – Milwaukee Brewers Pierogi/Kielbasa Cone – Pittsburgh Pirates 18-Inch Hotdog – Arizona Diamondbacks Crab Cakes/Boog’s BBQ – Baltimore Orioles Peanut Butter & Bacon Sandwich – Minnesota Twins Triple Threat Pork Sandwich – San Diego Padres
Ellen Bennett at Kaufmann Stadium in Kansas City, MO.
CHRONOLOGICAL LIST OF MY TRAVELS TO THE PARKS
8/16/67 – Memorial Stadium – Baltimore, MD New York Yankees vs. Baltimore Orioles It took forever to wind our way through Baltimore to get to this mammoth monument to World War II. I made about 25 other trips to this stadium including the final game played there on October 6, 1991.
5/1/78 – Three Rivers Stadium – Pittsburgh, PA San Diego Padres vs. Pittsburgh Pirates The game is memorable for being a fun boy’s trip near the end of the college year and the Iron City beer vendor yelling “Willie Stargell dips his bat in it.”
4/18/92 – Oriole Park at Camden Yards – Baltimore, MD Detroit Tigers vs. Baltimore Orioles I still remember the pride I felt looking out at this glorious new ballpark. The B&O warehouse made it seem cozy. I’ve now been to this park about 50 times including the ’93 All-Star Game.
4/15/98 – Joe Robbie Stadium – Miami Gardens, FL Philadelphia Phillies vs. Florida Marlins I was attending a conference in Hollywood, FL, so I drove over to this huge football stadium for a day game. It was orange, big and empty.
4/24/01 – Chase Field – Phoenix, AZ Florida Marlins vs. Arizona Diamondbacks I was in Phoenix for a national sales meeting. The stadium is right next to the basketball arena and in a very nice entertainment district. The outfield pool is nice, too.
6/9/04 – Anaheim Stadium (or ”The Big A”) – Anaheim, CA Milwaukee Brewers vs. Anaheim Angels This trip is memorable because my then 14-year old son and I drove down from Disneyland to attend a game. Stadium is in the middle of nowhere and only so-so.
6/18/05 – Tropicana Field – St. Petersburg, FL St. Louis Cardinals vs. Tampa Bay Devil Rays (now Rays) I’ve been to this stadium several times since my wife and I like to vacation in Sarasota about 40 miles away. Terrible stadium. The dome appears oddly tilted from the outside and it famously leaks.
10/6/05 – Turner Field – Atlanta, GA Houston Astros vs. Atlanta Braves Memorable, because it was a playoff game, which shows how easy it is to buy one seat at any park at any time. I was in town to visit a vendor. I don’t like the tomahawk chop.
5/20/07 – Wrigley Field – Chicago, IL Chicago White Sox vs. Chicago Cubs I was in town working at a large medical conference when I got a ticket to this cross-town rivalry game in the major’s second-oldest ballpark.
5/4/08 – Guaranteed Rate Field – Chicago, IL Anaheim Angels vs. Chicago White Sox This visit was part of our 25th wedding anniversary getaway. (Not one of my finest moments.) Stadium is on the south side, and yes, it really is the baddest part of town.
7/19/09 – New Yankee Stadium – Bronx, NY Detroit Tigers vs. New York Yankees This game is memorable because it was the centerpiece of an epic baseball weekend with my then 19-year-old son. We also visited Cooperstown, New York, home of the baseball Hall of Fame.
6/23/10 – Citi Field – Queens, NY Detroit Tigers vs. New York Mets I was in Manhattan for a conference so rode the subway over for a game. I was pleasantly surprised. The stadium does a nice job representing its considerable history. The arches are nice, too.
9/9/10 – Rogers Centre (originally Skydome) – Toronto, Ontario Texas Rangers vs. Toronto Blue Jays I was in town exhibiting at a convention. The stadium is kind of bland inside but is situated in downtown with a great view of CN Tower. The singing of “Oh Canada” is stirring!
4/14/12 – T-Mobile Park – Seattle, WA Oakland A’s vs. Seattle Mariners I attended this game with a work colleague while at a conference in Seattle. A gorgeous stadium with retractable roof and wonderful food.
5/22/13 – Fenway Park – Boston, MA Cleveland Indians vs. Boston Red Sox I was in town for a business meeting so of course I had to make the pilgrimage over to the oldest major league ballpark. The Green Monster wall in left field is the most interesting quirk in modern baseball and the “Sweet Caroline” singalong is awesome in person!
6/23/14 – Citizens Bank Park – Philadelphia, PA Miami Marlins vs. Philadelphia Phillies Not sure why it took me so long to get up to Philly. This is a very nice park but in a rough part of town. I love the Liberty Bell replica in centerfield… and, of course, the cheesesteaks.
8/16/14 – Oakland Alameda Coliseum (now Ring Central Coliseum) – Oakland, CA Tampa Bay Devil Rays vs. Oakland A’s I drove down from a business trip in Medford, Oregon. This game is only memorable because I missed my return flight to Baltimore because of it.
5/6/15 – Oracle Park – San Francisco, CA San Diego Padres vs. San Francisco Giants I was in town for a conference and brought my wife along for a day game. Aha, I found it! The best park in the land. I could definitely live here and still make use of my O’s orange and black regalia.
8/16/16 – Nationals Park – Washington, DC Baltimore Orioles vs. Washington Nationals This game is memorable because I walked over from my office in D.C. to meet my 26-year-old son for an O’s game. I distinctly remember the O’s winning 10-8 and him outdrinking me 3-2. Or, was it the other way around?
5/18/17 – Minute Maid Park – Houston, TX Cleveland Indians vs. Houston Astros My wife and I drove to Houston from San Antonio where I was attending a conference. The stadium is quirky and fun. It features a very short porch in left field and an actual incline in centerfield, now (thankfully) removed.
5/10/18 – Petco Park, San Diego, CA Texas Rangers vs. San Diego Padres I’ve been to this stadium a few times since San Diego is a popular convention destination. Loved it every time! One of the best. Could live here, too.
7/20/19 – PNC Park – Pittsburgh, PA Philadelphia Phillies vs. Pittsburgh Pirates One of the few times I visited this city just for a game. I remember it was extremely hot throughout the game, but that didn’t dim my appreciation for this beautiful park.
7/21/21 – Great American Ballpark – Cincinnati, OH New York Mets vs. Cincinnati Reds This was the first game of a summer Midwest swing. Six cities in eight days. Best part of this stadium is its location: snuggled right up against the Ohio River. The famous 3- and 4-way chili is nice, too.
7/22/21 – Busch Stadium – St. Louis, MO New York Mets vs. St. Louis Cardinals Game two of our Midwest swing. It was a scorcher of a day, but this beautiful stadium with the gateway arch standing guard beyond the stadium was well worth the visit.
7/23/21 – Kaufmann Stadium, Kansas City, MO Detroit Tigers vs. Kansas City Royals Game three of our Midwest swing. The park is undeniably beautiful especially with the iconic water fountains ringing the outfield and spouting almost continuously. But it is way out of town.
7/24/21 – Target Field – Minneapolis, MN Los Angeles Angels vs. Minnesota Twins Game four of our Midwest swing. Love the statues, walkways and summer weather.
7/25/21 – American Family Field – Milwaukee, WI Chicago White Sox vs. Milwaukee Brewers Game five of our Midwest swing. Love the roof, beer selection, Bernie Brewer and brats. Only downside is the park is well outside of town.
7/27/21 – Progressive Field – Cleveland, OH St. Louis Cardinals vs. Cleveland Guardians The final leg of our 2021 Midwest swing. This downtown stadium features an attractive light coloring on the outside and outstanding city views on the inside. It even features Flo of Progressive Insurance fame.
5/13&5/14/22 – Comerica Park – Detroit, MI Baltimore Orioles vs. Detroit Tigers This was a buddy’s weekend trip to see our beloved Orioles and to help complete this city. The park is OK, but nothing special. The best feature is the roaring Tiger when the home team does something good.
7/16/22 – Coors Field – Denver, CO Pittsburgh Pirates vs. Colorado Rockies This was another buddy’s trip to see our second favorite team and to complete another missed city. Love the mountain views and cool, crisp mile-high air.
4/3/23 – Globe Life Field – Arlington, TX Baltimore Orioles vs. Texas Rangers This was yet another buddy’s outing to see the O’s and mark off another city. (I have a very understanding wife.) Stadium is odd because they built it next door to the old stadium, which is still standing and in use by a college team.
8/19/23 – Dodger Stadium – Los Angeles, CA Miami Marlins vs. Los Angeles Dodgers My final stadium! My wife and I took a whirlwind weekend trip to finish up my baseball stadium quest. Beautiful, mature stadium with great mountain views. They even gave me a certificate!
HOW PARKS ARE NAMED
Team name: 5 Oriole Park, Yankee Stadium, Angels Stadium, Nationals Park, Dodger Stadium Owner’s name: 5 Rogers Center, Kauffman Stadium, Turner Field, Joe Robbie Stadium, Busch Stadium Insurance Companies: 5 Progressive Field, Guaranteed Rate Field, Globe Life Field, Great American Ballpark, American Family Field Bank/Finance: 5 Comerica Park, Citizen’s Bank Park, Citi Field, PNC Park, Chase Field Food: 4 Tropicana Field, Minute Maid Park, Wrigley Field, Coors Field Locale: 3 Fenway Park, Camden Yards, Three Rivers Stadium Telecom: 3 T-Mobile Park, Ring Central Coliseum, Oracle Park Retail: 2 Target Field, Petco Park
Central Maryland is just a stone’s throw away from beaches, big cities, bucolic countryside, iconic rivers and trails, Revolutionary and Civil War history and, of course, the oldest mountains in America.
We are all trying hard to maneuver the hottest summer on record here in the lowlands, but like me, you might just be ready to plan your escape to the cooler climes of our nearby mountains.
The mountains of Western Maryland are easy to get to but small. The ones in West Virginia are larger and more rugged but too far away for a quick trip. Luckily, we have the Blue Ridge Mountains in Virginia right next door. Nothing says mountain retreat more to me than a weekend getaway to Shenandoah National Park in Virginia in the heart of the Blue Ridge.
Shenandoah National Park covers 311 square miles in Northen Virgina from Front Royal to Waynesboro, encompassing 196,000 acres of pristine wilderness. It was established in 1935 and designed for everyday Americans in their new-fangled motor cars to experience the allure and grandeur of the mountains. The peaks range from about 2,000 feet at the beginning and end of the park to 3,700 feet near the middle at aptly-named Skyland near Thorofare Mountain. Small, when compared to the Rocky Mountains, but much older.
Shenandoah is a long and relatively skinny park that boasts world-famous Skyline Drive. It is the focus and hopping off point for all the best park attractions. A national scenic byway, Skyline Drive is Shenandoah National Park for most people. It famously meanders back and forth across the tops of the peaks and runs right down the center of the park for over 100 miles.
Skyline Drive is famous for providing access to beautiful mountain vistas that would otherwise be unobtainable for most of us. You’ll want to take advantage of over 75 scenic overlooks with names like Gooney Run, Hogwallow Flats, Stoney Man, Hawksbill Gap and Naked Creek. You will be tempted to stop at each one to take in all the sights, sounds and fresh air. You’ll see the Shenandoah River and Shenandoah Valley to the west and the rolling hills of the Virginia piedmont to the east.
It will take you about three hours to leisurely cover the 100 plus miles from start to finish. But it is well worth it. You won’t feel a need to go any faster than the 35 mile-per-hour speed limit or honk at the motorist ahead of you as you roll along. I swear I can feel my blood pressure decreasing and sensory perception increasing every time I make this drive.
Shortly after entering the park in Front Royal, stop at Dickey Ridge Visitor Center to get your bearings and to pick up a few snacks. Next, take advantage of the many scenic overlooks I mentioned. A particular favorite of mine is Hogback Overlook, looking west to the valley and George Washington National Forest. If you’d like to stretch your legs, try Hawksbill Summit, which rewards you with a couple of hidden waterfalls and breathtaking peak that is easy to climb. Many Skyline Drive trails connect with the Appalachian Trail.
Please note there is a fee to enter the park whether you are staying or simply driving through. As of this writing, the fee for a private car is $30, which includes unlimited entry and exit for up to seven days. Throughout the year there are some free days. Consult https://www.goshenandoah.com/ for more information.
One of nearly 100 breathtaking overlooks on Skyline Drive.
Getting There:
It couldn’t be easier to get to Shenandoah National Park.
Simply drive west and then south on Route 340 right out of Frederick for about an hour and a half, covering about 70 miles to the doorstep of the park in Front Royal, Virginia. No other roads are necessary. Along the way, you’ll enjoy peaceful country scenery, plentiful farm stands and country stores, the charm of Charlestown, WV, and Winchester, VA, and more beautiful red maple trees and mountain laurel than you can count.
When to Go:
This is completely up to you because every season offers something spectacular. You simply can’t go wrong.
Spring comes late to this part of the country and a definite chill fills the air until late-May. It has been known to snow as late as early June.
Summer brings a shining clarity to all the deep greens in the ridges and hollows. Birds are nesting and seem to sing non-stop from early morning to early evening. Skies are clear blue with white puffy clouds seeping in around the peaks.
Autumn is prime time at Shenandoah National Park. A coolness and crispness fills the air. Brilliant fall colors seem to burst from the trees. Hikers abound. Birds are at their most active preparing for their southward migration.
Even winter offers a quiet snow-covered stillness that is hard to forget.
What to Do:
One can do very little at the park and feel completely content. Stop along the side of Skyline Drive at one of the many picnic areas and enjoy a quiet lunch. Curl up in your cabin with a favorite book. Snooze the day away at one of many comfy loungers available at camps and visitor’s center.
For the more adventurous among us you can hike on over 500 miles of trails including the Appalachian Trail, which cuts a large swath through the park.
Waterfall chasing and bird watching during the day and star gazing at night are two of the more popular activities.
I highly recommend taking in any programs the numerous park rangers offer. Their knowledge and love of the park is palpable, plus, they have all the best stories to tell.
At the two park resorts, Skyland and Big Meadows, you can take advantage of expertly prepared programs. Note that some are free when staying at the resorts and some require paying an extra fee. Again, consult https://www.goshenandoah.com/ for more information.
Some of our favorite activities besides hiking and finding hidden waterfalls include:
Map and compass navigation – guides take away your technology and you must fend for yourself. Don’t worry, you can do it.
Horseback riding – it’s about $60 for one hour at Skyland, but trust me, one hour will be enough time to see the sights from a whole new perspective.
Rock climbing – don’t worry, they have excursions (and rocks) appropriate for both novices and experts.
Basket-making – a local artisan will lead you in making your very own white oak basket.
The ever-popular whiskey and wine shuttle takes you down to the lowlands to relax, partake and listen to stories about the park along the way.
You are high enough to appreciate the clouds from their tops.
Where to Stay
Shenandoah National Park features varied lodging options sure to satisfy every taste – from back-country camping to city-slicker glamping. If you wish, you can pitch a tent in the back country or stay at a spacious, luxurious lodge at one of the two park resorts — Skyland or Big Meadows.
The park also has four main campgrounds that are operated by the National Park Service and are open spring through fall:
Mathews Arm Campground (at mile 22.2)
Big Meadows Campground (at mile 51)
Lewis Mountain Campground (at mile 57.2)
Loft Mountain Campground (at mile 79.5)
Skyland resort is about 41 miles into your trip on Skyline Drive and is located at the park’s highest peak, about 3,700 feet high.
Big Meadows resort is located just a few miles down the road from Skyland and is just a bit lower in elevation. It does feature beautiful Dark Hollows Falls and the handy Byrd Visitor Center.
Lodging at both resorts range from premium hotel-like rooms and suites to small, detached cabins. They even have pet friendly rooms.
Summer prices range from about $150 per night for a cabin with two double beds and very few amenities to about $400 a night for a preferred room with all the amenities you’d expect at a fine hotel. Seniors 62 and older receive a 10 percent discount. Military members and first responders also qualify for special rates. Prices go up a bit in the fall.
I recommend you go with a rustic cabin to get a better mountain retreat experience. Some rooms have TVs and some don’t. Ditch the TV and other technology and instead play a board game to pass the evening, at least until it’s time to star gaze.
Of course, you’ll want a fireplace, especially in the spring or fall. There is nothing better than collapsing into your comfy bed after a day of hiking and starting a cozy fire in your very own fireplace. Unfortunately, in-room fireplaces are unavailable for the 2023 season due to an ongoing rehabilitation project.
The Appalachian Trail cuts a wide swath through the park.
What to Eat
Suffice it to say that you won’t go hungry at the four campgrounds, which are well supplied with nearby camp stores, or at the two resorts.
Skyland and Big Meadows feature several pleasing dining options.
Skyland’s Pollock Dining Room serves regional, flavorful specialties like wild game with wonderful views of the Shenandoah Valley. The spacious dining room is wood-paneled and smells amazing. And don’t miss out on the house specialty desert — Mile-High Blackberry Ice Cream Pie!
There’s also a Grab ‘n Go market and the Mountain Taproom for snacks, drinks and live entertainment in a casual setting.
At Big Meadows Lodge, Spottswood Dining Room guests can enjoy dishes like Roosevelt’s roasted or fried chicken (named after the president who dedicated the park) or the New Deal roast turkey plate. Outdoor patio seating is now available.
The New Market Taproom provides craft beer, local wines, snacks and live entertainment. Or, you can order lunch to go at the front desk.
As you drive along after your stay, whether it be north or south, several waysides will keep you well fed, gassed up and ready to buy souvenirs:
Elkswallow Wayside (at mile 24.)
Big Meadows Wayside (at mile 51)
Loft Mountain Wayside (at mile 79)
Sunset over the Shenandoah Valley and George Washington National Forest.
Just like Las Vegas and Washington, D.C., Niagara Falls is pretty much a one industry town. But oh, what an industry!
It’s typical to think of Niagara Falls as quintessentially American—the one-time de facto destination for newlywed couples from all over America. And part of it is in America, but the main city of Niagara Falls is completely within Ontario, Canada, along with most of the actual falls, too. The Canadian Niagara Falls city is larger than you might expect with over 94,000 full-time residents, making it just a little larger than Frederick. Across the river, Niagara Falls, New York, is the little sister with a population of about 48,000,
When you saunter down just about any street in Niagara Falls, Ontario, as long as you’re headed downhill, you’ll eventually come upon “The Falls.” That’s what all the locals call it and what all the signs proclaim in caps.
The first glimpse is absolutely breathtaking.
Horseshoe Falls, Canada — the main part of Niagara Falls
The mist emanating from The Falls makes it difficult to see the bottom. The roar is deafening and the mist is omnipresent even relatively far away. The falling water provides a perpetual breeze, much like the ocean. Temperatures can be 10 degrees cooler than in the center of the city. The Falls have eaten away at the banks of the Niagara River to form a very wide, deep gorge.
You’ll be surprised that there are actually three falls within sight.
There is American Falls, the medium-sized one that features a rocky bottom, the smaller Bridal Veil Falls, so named because of what it sauggests, and the large, picturesque Horseshoe Falls, the one we see in our mind and the one perfectly shaped like a horseshoe. Horseshoe Falls is entirely within Canada. American and Bridal Veil Falls are on the American side. The Niagara River famously separates Canada and the U.S. at this point.
American Falls, New York, USA — part of Niagara Falls
It is estimated there are about 500 waterfalls in the world that are taller than Niagara Falls, but there is none that accounts for such a heavy volume of water. It is estimated that over 75,000 gallons of water head over the falls each second.
Niagara Falls was formed eons ago by the Niagara River cascading over very hard rock while perpetually eating away at the softer bedrock further downstream. The collision is so intense that an ever-growing gorge has been formed. Experts say that American Falls will lose its waterfall status and become just a series of rapids in the not-too-distant future.
And yes, many daredevils since the 1920s have attempted to ride over The Falls in barrels and other strange contraptions. Many have made it but some have died. This activity is now illegal in both counties. You might remember that Nic Wallenda had special permission to traverse The Falls by tightrope about a decade ago and made it. Thankfully.
Getting there
Getting to Niagara Falls is relatively easy. One can fly, of course. Niagara Falls International Airport features carriers such as Spirit and Allegiance leaving from Baltimore. Or, you can fly into Buffalo fairly inexpensively on many carriers, but then it is still a 30-minute ride to Niagara Falls.
I love road trips so I recommend driving to Niagara Falls.
From Frederick, it’s about 400 miles or a relatively short, scenic 6.5-hour drive mostly up Route 15 North past Gettysburg, Harrisburg and Williamsport, Pennsylvania, and on to Rochester, New York. Hang a left in Rochester on Route 90 and, before you know it, you’re driving past Buffalo to the Canadian border.
You will cross the aptly named Peace Bridge from the U.S. into Canada. No two countries share such a large, peaceful border. Have your passports ready. Agents are friendly but busy. They may ask you where you are from and where you are going. Practice this. Don’t do as I did and fumble over your words! They may also ask you to roll down your windows for a better look inside. Be ready for this, too. Don’t have all your windows going up and down at the same time like me. No doubt I was lucky to be admitted.
When we drove to The Falls in early June, it was off-season. I highly recommend this time of year or even a bit earlier. Lines are relatively short and hotel rooms are plentiful. Be ready for slow service, though. Going in the winter or fall affords the same advantages but the weather can be sketchy—think lake-effect snow. The Falls are undeniably beautiful in the winter too, since much of it freezes.
Things are expensive as in most resort towns, and you’ll be paying in Canadian dollars, which makes things seem even more expense. Be sure to use your credit or debit card to pay for everything. Let your bank figure out the exchange rate.
View from one of many nearby hotel rooms
What To Do
There are many things to keep you occupied at The Falls other than staring in awe at the cascading water. But don’t worry, the attractions are not as kitschy as you might expect, only pleasingly so.
There are two sides to The Falls – the American and Canadian. The American side, somehow, has remained mostly under-developed and natural. There are some exceptions, of course. The Canadian side, however, is where you’ll find most of the action.
The city has done a wonderful job of making The Falls area quite pedestrian friendly. There is the requisite visitor center on one end near Horseshoe Falls — complete with movie theater, restaurant, overlook vantage points, a restaurant, and shops – and the entrance to scenic tours and the province (not state) park near American Falls at the other end.
I highly recommend a trip on the Maid of the Mist on the American side or its counterpart, the Hornblower, on the Canadian. These boats will cruise you past American and Bridal Veil Falls and right up to the mouth of Horseshoe Falls. They leave every 30 minutes.
Full disclosure: you will get drenched from the heavy mist near the base of The Falls, but you’ll love every minute of it! Besides, you will be outfitted with a handsome, complimentary slicker before departing. The trip out and back to Horseshoe Falls takes only about 20 minutes since you depart within eyesight of The Falls. The trip costs about $28 Canadian for adults and $16 Canadian for kids. Children under five are free.
Another worthwhile endeavor is “Journey Behind the Falls.” It is well named. You descend by elevator several stories below the welcome center and make your way through a manmade tunnel to two viewpoints behind The Falls and to an observation deck beside the base of The Falls.
View from base of The Falls
Be forewarned that if you are claustrophobic, you will not like the long walk in the tunnels. I preferred the view below and beside The Falls on the observation deck to suitably represent its sheer power and magnitude. The view behind The Falls at the two 50-foot cut out portals reminded me more of looking out the window on a very stormy day. There was not too much you could see. Journey Behind the Falls costs $24 Canadian for adults and $16 Canadian for kids.
From just about any hotel room near The Falls you can enjoy the nightly illumination in multi colors at dusk and fireworks at 10 pm. This was a highlight of our trip. It is striking to see so much color and power at the same time. And it was free!
One thing I wish I had done is visit The Falls overnight. Horseshoe Falls reportedly becomes a dribble from midnight to about 5 am due to the diversion of the rushing water to nearby electricity-generating power plants.
A few new and expensive attractions have been added in the last several years.
There is now a zip line that hurtles passengers on a ride of about a quarter of a mile beside The Falls. It was entertaining listening to the shrieks of the passengers as they glided by. Cost: about $70 Canadian per person.
Skylon Tower is a 520-foot tower you can ascend by elevator for an unparalleled view. At the top you can enjoy a rotating restaurant. And yes, try the poutine. Cost: about $55 Canadian per person but if you eat at the restaurant, it is free.
Falls View Casino sits right beside The Falls gorge and offers all you would expect from a casino. And like many resort towns, Niagara Falls also has a large Ferris wheel or “eye” to ride and view The Falls.
Finally, I recommend taking a side trip to the town of Niagara on the Lake during your stay in Canada. It is a pleasant 20-minute drive north to Lake Ontario and this pretty little town of about 20,000. There, you’ll find quaint shops and eateries, numerous wineries, clean streets, manicured parks, friendly people and beautiful, colorful flowers planted all around town.
Be careful! You can stand mere feet away from impending doom.
“You do want sweet tea, right sugah?” the slightly overweight, middle-aged waitress drawled as I sunk into my comfy booth at Stuckey’s just off Interstate 59 in southern Alabama. “Oh yes, sweet tea would be great”, I said, as she scribbled in het ticket book. “That’s a good thing, sugah,” Doris said, “because you’re in the South now and that’s all we got.” I overlooked the logic of that statement much as you would overlook your mom asking you to wear clean shorts in the car because you never know when you’ll be in an accident. It might not make sense, but she means well.
Ah yes, Doris’s sweetness reminded me there’s nothing
like a good road trip.
Once the bastion of the middle class, Americans of all stripes are now loading up the family car for getaways far and wide. According to U.S. Travel Association, Americans logged 1.8 billion person‐trips of 50 miles a more with an overnight stay for leisure purposes in 2018. That means that, on average, every man, woman, and child in the U.S. took five such leisure trips in 2018.
There used to be a bit of a stigma attached to
traveling long distances by car, especially if you fancied yourself upwardly
mobile with a little bit of money in the bank and are traveling more than a few
hundred miles. After all, why wouldn’t you fly?
Saves a lot of time, right? Well,
sort of. More on that in a minute. Kind
of glamorous, right? Uh, no.
I’m sorry to confirm what you already know in your heart about air travel: there is nothing glamorous about it, and it comes with monumental downsides. First, there’s the expense. Second, the inconvenience. Third, the angst of finding the best deal. Then throw in all the idle time waiting in lines, constant delays, surly agents, glum and germy strangers, crowded conditions, random cancellations, weather problems, terrorist threats, seats designed by Marquis de Sade worshipers, bad food, and nothing being in control, and I’m not sure why anyone flies who doesn’t have to. As for saving time, once you factor in getting to the airport, all the waiting and delays, transfers, and getting a rental car and driving to your final destination, the time savings gap closes up faster than a liquor store on Christmas Eve.
I’m here to witness that if God intended us to fly everywhere, he wouldn’t have created the magnificent U.S. Interstate Highway System, or more precisely, provided the wherewithal for humans to create it. Our interstate system efficiently gets us into every nook and cranny of our great country with very little planning needed. It puts a map of the human body’s circulation system to shame.
If you have the notion and time, you can start off early tomorrow morning from Frederick and be in sunny Tampa, Florida, by night fall. I’ve done that myself many times. Our country is just the right size for such escapades – neither too large nor too small. I envy all those adventurous souls who claim to have driven coast to coast. That’s not such a big deal in, say, Croatia.
My wife Ellen and I wanted to do something special for New Year’s Eve last year, so we made plans to drive 2,200 miles round-trip from Frederick to New Orleans. What better place to solemnly celebrate the beginning of the new year than New Orleans, right?
We could have flown, sure, but didn’t even consider it. Okay, I’m sure Ellen did. After all, I’m not the world’s best driver, as she will attest. But in my defense, I am cheerful and quite enthusiastic. The call of the open road and chance for adventure is just too great for me to pass up. And to my wife’s lasting credit, she is usually willing to overlook the small stuff with me, much as you would a child.
Now, you can’t just head off without a plan. I have several “rules of the road” that I’ve found are necessary in order to make the most of one’s road trip and to bring order to what can be a chaotic endeavor. I am happy to share them here.
My first driving rule is fairly minor but unassailable: the driver controls the music. This may seem unfair (and maybe it is because I drive most of the way) but consider the fact that I, like many drivers, depend on pounding rock music to help propel me down the road. If this were not so, there would be no such things as road trip songs. Further, I believe it has been scientifically proven the nerves in our ears are directly connected to our gas pedal foot.
Why, Sirius XM even has a channel devoted to road trip music. All-time favorites like Steppenwolf’s Born to be Wild and Magic Carpet Ride and Bruce Springsteen’s Born to Run are guaranteed to keep you moving along at a clip just under speeding ticket level. It helps that my wife enjoys the same music I do. I think. Anyway, I’m not a total despot. All Ellen has to do is start bobbing away to a song she likes and I will immediately vacate my rule on a temporary basis and stick with that song for the duration. Bruce Hornsby songs, inexplicably, are a particular favorite of hers.
My second driving rule allows the passenger to control the in-car temperature and to decide when and where to stop. Unless a really good song comes on.
Pike’s Peak, Colorado
You may think that driving long distances is excruciatingly boring. Hah! (I mean, yes, you’re right – please stay off the roads.) But, my third driving rule helps overcome the boredom: You must always consider the people who live and work in the towns and cities you pass by and get to know a few. How do they live? What do they care about?
Fortunately, the need for gas, food, and shall we say “rest” provide ample opportunity to converse with the locals. That’s how I’ve made so many temporary friends over the years – mostly waitresses, convenience store clerks, and the occasional police officer – who are happy to share how they live, work, and what’s going on in town that week.
Take Crystal, our waitress at a New York-style deli in Roanoke, Virginia.
Imagine my surprise when I walked up to the cash register to pay our lunch bill with my credit card, as I always do, but was matter-of-factly informed by Crystal, “We don’t take credit cards—work of the devil. Cash or check only, sweetie.” She displayed no hint of sorrow or embarrassment and was more than happy to point me to the bar next door to access an ATM. “Happens every day,” she sighed while directing me outside. I think the irony was lost on her that she was sending me to a bar to avoid the hellfire of credit, but it wasn’t my job to point that out. I could have just left without paying, but flustered, I left her my credit card anyway to ensure my return.
Crystal was such a trusting soul, she seemed surprised I would do such a thing. But I wasn’t surprised. I’ve always found people in the South to be more trusting than their Northern counterparts. Maybe it’s the slower pace of life or maybe it’s because they are so nice. You’d feel really bad if you cross them, so you don’t.
My fourth driving rule is to always allow enough time to see a few local landmarks along the way. I’m a sucker for these. My two favorite landmarks on this particular trip were the Chattanooga Choo Choo in well, Chattanooga, Tennessee, and Main Street in the sister cities of Bristol, Tennessee and Bristol, Virginia.
In the case of the sisters, not only are they two next-door cities with coincidentally the same name, but you can stand on Main Street and straddle two states at once! I took advantage of this opportunity, of course. Since I’m 6’2” with long legs, I was able to stand with one foot in Tennessee and one in Virginia. People must do this all the time, so I didn’t feel bad about briefly stopping traffic.
Still, as nice as Southerners typically are, some grew impatient and blew their horns. This attracted the attention of a stern-looking deputy sheriff. When I saw him coming, I ran to the car. The deputy stopped to give me some good advice. “Son, you can’t block traffic like this. Pick one town or the other and get the hell on the sidewalk.”
Bemused, he told me about another place I could go. Literally, not figuratively. He must have researched this to help people like me. “You know, out West, there’s a place where four states come together – Utah, Colorado, New Mexico, and Arizona. They call it the Four Corners, and you can put your arms and legs in all four at once! And better yet, it’s out in the middle of nowhere and far away from here.”
I got the feeling he had imparted this wisdom before.
My fifth driving rule is to always make a bad joke to a total stranger when you can. Makes time go faster. In Chattanooga I stopped at a 7-11 to ask the nice attendant where I could find the famous Chattanooga Choo Choo. On the way in, we saw signs promising it was close by. The attendant, Sidney, seemed ready and willing to help because he’d obviously been asked this question before. But as luck would have it, I had already spotted a cat lounging in the sun on the front sidewalk, and I was ready.
I strolled up to Sidney, pointed, and musically asked “Pardon me, sir, is that the cat that chewed my shoe shoe?”
I laughed loudly. My wife rolled her eyes and moved slowly away. I was pleased with myself, nonetheless. Even though my singing of the old song was spot on, Sidney gave me that classical cocked head, furrowed eyebrow “what-are-you-talking-about” look. I suppose you have to be of a certain age to get that one, and he wasn’t and didn’t.
There was one sign on the way to New Orleans, though, that particularly caught my eye and rivaled any South of the Border sign. It nearly caused me to swerve onto the shoulder and back up a couple hundred feet to snap a picture. Sadly, I didn’t – Ellen has a better sense of road etiquette than me. Somewhere in rural Tennessee an official looking state-sanctioned sign warns: Rest Stop Ahead, No Oversize Loads
My final driving rule is to pay attention to the signs. You never know when you’ll be rewarded with a nugget of golden wisdom. Aliens landing on one of our interstate highways would surely think “Crazy Eddy” is a very important person and that a “Gentleman’s Lounge” is the seat of power.
I’ll be the first to admit, however, that the signs on the way to New Orleans pale in comparison to the signs on the way to Florida on I-95. Sure, there was “Stay Off Tracks—Trains” and ‘Get Lunch, Gas, and Worms Here” in rural Mississippi. But I-95 in South Carolina has the venerable tourist trap South of the Border. It is a tour de force of politically incorrect creative signage like “Roads’ Scholar,” “No Monkey Business, Joost Yankee Panky” and “Give Pedro the Business.” But the very best one features their intrepid mascot Pedro who assures us that “You’ve Never Sausage a Place; You’re Always a Weiner at Pedro’s” complete with an image of a very large pork product representing their iffy lunch offerings.
There was a sign on the way to New Orleans, though, that particularly caught my eye and rivaled any South of the Border sign. It nearly caused me to swerve onto the shoulder and back up a couple hundred feet to snap a picture. Sadly, I didn’t. Somewhere in rural Tennessee, an official looking state-sanctioned sign warns: Rest Stop Ahead, No Oversize Loads
Now maybe it is just the way my mind works, but that hardly seems fair when every other exit features a Cracker Barrell, Stuckey’s, or Hardees. Even though I did qualify to stop, I indignantly decided to pass this one by.
