Celebrating 100 years of adventure on the Appalachian Trail with ‘Grandpa Walking’

By Gary Bennett

Harvey Dennenberg, aka Grandpa Walking

This article appears in the April 17, 2025, issue of the Frederick News-Post’s “72 Hours” entertainment insert.

In 2025, the Appalachian Trail, the longest hiking-only footpath in the world, celebrates 100 years of measuring the skills, endurance and heart of thousands of intrepid adventurers.

Over 3,000 hikers attempt to complete the entire length in any given year. Only about one in four succeed. The successful ones are forever known as “thru-hikers” and are treated on the trail with the awe and respect they deserve.

Along with these remarkable thru-hikers, the AT also welcomes and tests the more modest among us: day-hikers, section hikers and “2,000-milers.” The latter are pretty amazing, too. They are the people who hike the entire distance of the AT but not all at one time and not necessarily all in one year.

From its humble beginning at a conference of likeminded hikers and outdoorsmen in March 1925 to today, the AT has provided what was once unthinkable: a continuous, 2,200-mile footpath, skipping along the tops of the Appalachian Mountains from Georgia to Maine. The trail was ultimately completed in 1937.

To be sure, the trail tests one’s mettle at every turn. The terrain is mountainous for its entire length, with an elevation gain and loss equivalent to hiking Mt. Everest from sea level and back 16 times. Hikers of all stripes grouchily complain about the PUDs — the seemingly “pointless ups and downs.” The trail passes through some of the densest wilderness in the U.S.

Harvey Dennenberg, right, on the AT

Grandpa Walking

Although not a thru-hiker, Annapolis resident and divorced father of three Harvey Dennenberg is as adventurous as they come. He has been alive for almost the entirety of the AT’s existence.

The 84-year-old hiking savant is a proud 2,000-miler. He completed the entire trail in sections, beginning at age 68 in September 2009 and finishing up in 2021 at age 80. He lectures about the AT and has written a book, “Maine’s Appalachian Trail: How Seniors Made Section Hiking Easier,” which is available on Amazon and other sites and is also part of the permanent collection at the Appalachian Trail Museum in Pennsylvania.

And, no, he is not the oldest to ever complete the trail. But he’s close!

Dennenberg, known as “Grandpa Walking” (because all hikers must have a trail name) credits reading Bill Bryson’s famous book, “A Walk in the Woods,” in 2000 as his impetus for taking on the AT. There was something special about Bryson’s account of attempting but failing to complete the trail with his overweight friend Katz that piqued Dennenberg’s curiosity. Could he do it? He began to think he could.

He had some hiking experience. In 1993 he bought a second home in Boulder, Colorado, and hiked the local trails in the summer. He did his first modest AT day-hike in 2003 and then some overnight backpacking in 2005.

He retired in 2007 and moved to Maryland. Living in Lutherville, he frequented the trails around Loch Raven Reservoir and even did some camping and hiking in Frederick County at Catoctin State Park. One early AT section hike took him and a partner across Maryland from Pen Mar Park southbound to Harpers Ferry over four days.

Harvey Dennenberg in the wilds of Maine.

Dennenberg began his AT journey in earnest in 2009 by driving to Maine and attempting to scale Mount Katahdin, the infamous starting/ending point of the AT that stands over 5,700 feet high, is often snow-covered and is always rocky and treacherous for even the most seasoned hiker. He failed on this attempt “off the couch,” but he was hooked.

Over the next 12 years, he completed the AT in all 14 states, often hiking with other seniors — 33 different partners at last count, several of whom were women.

Dennenberg counts these many hiking partners and how they helped him among his fondest memories.

“Lee and Randy taught me two-car, road-to-road hiking. Fred and Greg taught me about pre-planning and using spreadsheets to plan hikes. Big Ed, aka Joker, always got water for me when I was too tired to move. Jim, aka Chill, was always calm and collected and a great influence when I got frustrated.”

The hostel owners along the way were also great and always willing to help, he said. He fondly remembers the wonderful, full-body massage he received at Woods Hole in Virginia after nine days of hiking.

And the food! Hiking the AT is a study in deprivation, according to most, so when you get the chance to eat well, you take advantage of it. He remembers a sumptuous breakfast buffet at Mountain Harbour on the Tennessee/North Carolina border and savory meatballs and lobster rolls at another stop.

Not everything, of course, was sunshine and roses.

Harvey Dennenberg completing his last state — Pennsylvania

Heat and humidity were his worst enemies, sapping strength and ending hikes. “I had planned a solo backpack [trip] for three days and two nights in July 2011. I had to quit after eight miles and call my shuttle driver to come get me. I had stopped sweating and knew I was in trouble.”

Fording streams in Maine was particularly tricky and harrowing.

“The rivers and streams have strong currents, and the smooth bottom rocks are covered with moss,” he said. “I always made sure one foot was firmly planted before moving the other foot.”

Then there are the infamous White Mountains of New Hampshire and Maine. For large chunks of the trail, there are steep, almost vertical climbs and descents. In many places, you must “hike” hand over hand.

“Mahoosuc Notch in New Hampshire is the most difficult one mile on the entire AT,” Dennenberg said. “There are huge boulders to climb over and crawl under and gaps in the boulders to jump across. I spent a lot of time crawling.”

While never seriously lost, he agrees that poorly-marked or unmarked areas can be a problem, especially in wilderness areas. Being able to use a map and compass in addition to a GPS device can make the difference between staying on track and getting lost.

Dennenberg never had any run-ins with wildlife but cautions hikers to be vigilant nonetheless. Food must be hung and not kept in tents unless you want company from a hungry bear. Hikers should also watch out for moose, especially in Maine, as they tend to use the trail to get from place to place, just as we do.

But Dennenberg would do it all over again if he had the chance and recommends the AT to anyone who has the will and desire to test themselves.

Unfortunately, in 2023, Dennenberg herniated his L2/L3 discs hiking the Long Trail in Vermont and had to quit after the first day. He has not hiked since and fears his hiking days may be over.

Even if he never takes another step on the AT, Dennenberg will be forever known as a 2,000-miler and affectionately as Grandpa Walking.

A book by Harvey Dennenberg, aka Grandpa Walking, about hiking the Appalachian Trail in Maine

Gary Bennett is a longtime Frederick resident who spends his time hiking, biking, volunteering and providing childcare for grandchildren. He is married and retired from his career as a nonprofit marketing executive.

Best roadtrip movies of all time

By Gary Bennett

Peter Fonda and Dennis Hopper in Easy Rider, 1969.

This article appears in the April 17, 2025, edition of Frederick News-Post’s “72 Hours” entertainment insert.

Art certainly does imitate life, especially when it comes to roadtrips. There are so many great roadtrip movies because Americans really love a good roadtrip. It seems to be baked into us.

There’s something magical about hitting the open road with endless possibilities in front of you and the mundane, workaday world behind, at least for a little while. Seeing new places, meeting new people, and enjoying new adventures are the promises of the all-American roadtrip.

The joys and tribulations of roadtrips are well depicted on the silver screen. Folks of the Greatest Generation remember the start of it all with the many “Road to” movies of the ’40s and ‘50s, starring Bob Hope and Bing Crosby. This series of zany musical comedies took the audience to exotic places like Singapore, Zanzibar and Morocco. We were hooked.

Then, in 1957, Jack Kerouac published his seminal novel “On the Road,” that glorified the carefree and adventurous travels of two friends deeply engrained in the counterculture movement. It captured the imagination of a new generation of travelers.

Shortly after that, in the ‘60s, construction began in earnest on the Eisenhower Interstate System that made it possible to travel safely and comfortably for long distances by car, even coast to coast if one wanted. Ever since, Americans have been off and running, planning their very own roadtrip adventures with friends or family.

With spring comes the unmistakable itch for adventure, but before you start planning your own getaway, settle in with a great roadtrip movie or two to amp up your excitement — or maybe temper your expectations a little bit, too.

10. BONNIE AND CLYDE (1967)

Warren Beatty, Faye Dunaway, Gene Hackman

This true, cult-classic story starts out with the lovable rogues trying to steal their way out of the Great Depression, town by town, cross-country, but ends in the bloodiest shootout the movies had ever seen.

“When we started out … I thought we were really going somewhere. But this is it. We’re just going.”

9. THE MUPPET MOVIE (1979)

Kermit the Frog, Miss Piggy, Fozzie Bear

The delightful, smart-alecky animated gang make their way from Florida to California so Kermit can begin his Hollywood career.

Kermit: “Where did you learn to drive?”

Fozzie: “I took a correspondence course.”

The gang’s all here in The Muppet Movie, 1979.

8. SIDEWAYS (2004)

Paul Giamatti, Thomas Haden Church

A winding trip around California’s wine country allows two friends to explore their love lives and bond before one is to marry.

At a gas station: “I’ll take a Barely Legal, please. Uh, no, the new one.”

7. HAROLD & KUMAR GO TO WHITE CASTLE (2004)

John Cho, Kal Penn

Two friends get stoned and set off in search of a highly prized White Castle restaurant deep into the New Jersey backroads trying to avoid trouble along the way.

“You wouldn’t happen to know how to get on the highway from here, would you?”

“Dude, I don’t even know where the f— I am right now.”

6. ROAD TRIP (2000)

Seann William Scott, Breckin Meyer

A guy mistakenly videotapes his risqué affair and then somehow mails it to his girlfriend 2,000 miles away. They set out in his car to get the video before she does.

Looking at a broken bridge: “Hey, it’s 10 feet. Bob Hope could jump this in his golf cart. See? Watch. I can spit across it.”

5. GREEN BOOK (2018)

Viggo Mortensen, Mahershala Ali

A white man and Black man develop an unexpected friendship as they drive around the segregated South during the Black man’s piano concert tour.

“I ain’t worried about nothin’ … in fact, when you see me worried, you’ll know.”

4. PLANES, TRAINS AND AUTOMOBILES (1987)

Steve Martin, John Candy

This feel-good comedy classic throws together two lovable but bickering strangers trying to get home for Thanksgiving. Everything that can go wrong does.

State trooper: “Do you have any idea how fast you were going?”

Del Griffith (John Candy): “Funny enough, I was just talking to my friend about that. Our speedometer melted [from a small fire], and as a result it’s very hard to see with any degree of accuracy exactly how fast we were going.”

3. THELMA & LOUISE (1991)

Susan Sarandon, Geena Davis

This quintessential girl-buddy movie runs roughshod over men and other n’er-do-wells until the polar-opposite ladies meet their unexpected demise at the end.

“Look, you shoot off a guy’s head with his pants down. Believe me, Texas is not the place you wanna get caught.”

Chevy Chase in National Lampoon’s Vacation, 1983.

2. NATIONAL LAMPOON’S VACATION (1983)

Chevy Chase, Beverly D’Angelo

Of the many vacation movies, we’ll stick with the original because it is the most endearing. A caring but buffoonish dad simply wants to take his family on a memorable vacation, but the universe conspires against him.

Considering his newly deceased aunt: “You want me to strap her to the hood? She’ll be fine. It’s not as if it’s going to rain or something.”

1. EASY RIDER (1969)

Peter Fonda, Dennis Hopper, Jack Nicholson

A truly great movie, “Easy Rider” was emblematic of ‘60s counterculture. Fonda and Hopper tool around on their choppers while smuggling cocaine from Mexico to Los Angeles.

“You know, this used to be a helluva good country. I can’t understand what’s gone wrong with it.”

Honorable Mentions: Almost Famous (2000), Bucket List (2007), Deliverance (1072), Duel (1971), Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas (1998), Little Miss Sunshine (2006), Midnight Run (1988), Motorcycle Diaries (2004), Nomadland (2020), Paper Moon (1973), Rain Man (1988), Rat Race (2001), Smokey and the Bandit (1977), Straight Story (1999), Wild (2014) and Zombieland (2009).

Policy Priorities for 2025

Frederick County Affordable Housing Council

By Gary Bennett and Hugh Gordon


On March 10, Frederick County’s Affordable Housing Council (hereafter referred to as “the Council”) released its 2025 affordable housing policy priorities.

The Council advises Frederick city and county government officials on housing policy and advocates for safe, sanitary and affordable housing for all Frederick County lower- and middle-income households.

The policy priorities for 2025 do not take into consideration matters likely to be covered by Frederick County’s new housing needs assessment and strategic plan currently in the planning stages. The study is being conducted by TPMA Consultants and the county’s Division of Housing. Once the draft is presented for public comment, the Council will respond. Following final county approval of the study, the Council will incorporate recommendations from the study into its policy priorities for 2026.

The 2025 policy priorities outlined below are matters deemed important enough to go forward without waiting for completion of the housing needs assessment study.

  • Streamline Frederick County’s and the City of Frederick’s building permitting process.

At a September 2024 meeting hosted by the Council, non-profit and for-profit developers and builders indicated that the permitting process is overly cumbersome and costly. The Council has contacted city and county officials to establish a strategy and action plan to resolve permitting obstacles, working with the public sector and developer/builder stakeholders to address these matters with established timelines.

  • Encourage municipalities, the public and other stakeholders beyond the City of Frederick and Frederick County to develop relationships with the Council regarding housing policy best practices.

The Council will develop a strategy and action plan in the second quarter of 2025 to address specific municipalities at public forums. Independent of this effort, the Council will reach out to invite municipal officials, the public and stakeholders to monthly Council meetings.

  • Continue working with Frederick County and municipalities on implementation of area plans as part of the Livable Fredrick Master Plan.

As such, the Council will continue its active participation with the Housing Element Advisory Group and offer recommendations. It is also working with the county on attaining the goals set out in the 2023 county executive’s Housing and Quality of Life Transition Plan. 

  • Appoint a Council member or consultant to act as liaison with county and city legislative officials with a goal to accomplish the recommendations of the forthcoming Frederick County Housing Needs Assessment and Strategic Plan.

Hugh Gordon, chair of the Council, commented that accomplishing these priorities demonstrate a proactive effort on the part of the Council to address one of the greatest needs existing in the Frederick community: “The need for affecting implementation and the potential for assisting seniors, school teachers, police officers, firefighters, restaurant workers, and other vulnerable residents of Frederick County to achieve their dream of living in a safe, sanitary and affordable home.”

Historically, the Council has been quite successful in developing housing priorities and encouraging elected officials to give them fair consideration.

Last year, the Council was instrumental in advocating to update the city’s Moderately Priced Development Units (MPDU) ordinance. The ordinance now encourages increased development of affordable housing in the city by requiring developers to pay $2 per square foot for every unit in the development if they opt out of building the required number of MPDUs.

The Council also pushed for updating the 2016 Frederick County Affordable Housing Needs Assessment study to better reflect current housing and economic realities and to develop a strategic plan to address the findings. This project is now in the early planning stages.

Finally, the Council has helped institute the implementation of the City of Frederick’s rental registration and inspection program and encouraged municipalities in the county to allow construction of accessory dwelling units (ADUs), many of which are doing that.

The Frederick County Affordable Housing Council meets the second Tuesday of each month at 2:30 pm at a location designated by the Council. Confirm meeting dates and location by checking https://www.frederickcountymd.gov/6371/Affordable-Housing-Council or by calling the Frederick County Division of Housing at 301-600-3518.   

The issues are difficult but the stakes are high for all of us. The Frederick County Affordable Housing Council invites you to participate.

Meetings are open to the public and public participation is highly encouraged. Agendas can be obtained at the website noted above. Public comment is welcome at all meetings.

Gary Bennett is a retired association executive with no stake in the housing market except for being a concerned citizen. Hugh Gordon is the association executive for the Frederick County Association of Realtors and has decades of experience as a mortgage banker. They are long-time Frederick County residents and members of Frederick County’s Affordable Housing Council.

National Potbelly chain new to Frederick

By Gary Bennett

This article appears in the April 10, 2025, issue of Frederick News-post’s “72 Hours” entertainment insert.

I’ve been a Potbelly fan for years — not the protruding tummy some folks get from too much food and drink but the Potbelly Sandwich Shop, famous for its toasty, tasty sandwiches and laidback atmosphere.

I had the good luck to work just down the street from a Potbelly in Washington, D.C., in the 2010s. I was a brown-bagger for most of the week, but when Fridays rolled around, you would undoubtedly find me at Potbelly to celebrate getting through another week at work.

Even after retiring in 2020 and hardly ever traveling to D.C. again, I loved Potbelly so much that I would plan the occasional venture to the nearest shops at Arundel Mills in Hanover or at the Neelsville Village Center in Germantown. That’s at least a 60-mile round-trip ride just for a sandwich! So you can see my dedication.

Thankfully, I won’t have to hit the road any longer to enjoy their delicious sandwiches. A Potbelly Sandwich Shop is recently opened in Frederick at the Market Square Shopping Center on Route 26 to the north of town. Potbelly took the place of Moe’s Southwest Grill, which closed last fall.

The calling card for Potbelly is the toasted sandwiches, fresh ingredients and delicious deserts. In my opinion, they far outpace the offerings at national competitors Subway, Jimmy John’s, Jersey Mike’s and Firehouse Subs. I know Frederick has plenty of local sandwich shops, and I don’t wish to disparage any of them, but we all know that franchises provide consistency. The Potbelly franchise is wonderfully and consistently good. Potbelly has about 400 locations across the U.S., and I’ve eaten at many of them.

What sets the sandwiches apart at Potbelly is the slow toasting that occurs as the freshly made subs ride slowly through a long, horizontal toaster for about one minute. This gives the meat and cheese time to mingle perfectly and the bread a textbook toasty crunch from beginning to end. After it emerges from its “roller-toaster” ride, a friendly staff member applies all the fresh toppings you desire.

The signature sandwich at Potbelly is called A Wreck, a meat lover’s delight. It includes roast turkey, smoked ham, roast beef, salami and Swiss cheese, all toasted to perfection, of course. Among their other sandwiches are the Cubano, pork barbecue, Italian, chicken club, veggie melt, Mediterranean, meatball, turkey breast and roast beef. They even have PB&J and grilled cheese for the kids. They serve breakfast sandwiches, too.

I recommend keeping it simple. My go-to Potbelly sandwich is the grilled chicken and cheddar on a multi-grain bun topped off with just lettuce and brown deli mustard. For the health conscious, try a “skinny” sandwich, which is made with one-third less bread and a Powerhouse salad.

Along with their famous sandwiches, Potbelly offers a good selection of Zapp’s potato chips, soups, salads, freshly-baked cookies and hand-scooped milkshakes. Try a Dream Bar for dessert — a rich, chocolate chip, oatmeal and caramel bar that is the gooiest, chewiest treat you’re likely to ever have at a fast-casual restaurant.

Along with great food, Potbelly is also a fun place to be. They consider themselves a “first-class dive, a place to take a break from it all.” At each store, a giant potbelly stove prominently stands guard, giving the stores a warm, inviting feel.

Potbelly is an American success story. It launched in 1977 when Peter Hastings and his wife decided to start serving sandwiches to their antique shop customers in the Lincoln Park neighborhood of Chicago. One regular, Bryant Keil, saw the promise of the toasty sandwiches and bought the shop from Hastings in 1996. He grew the company from one location to 250 over the next 12 years. In 2005, Inc. Magazine named Potbelly one of “America’s 500 Fastest Growing Private Companies.” Now it has more than 400 stores, including 15 new locations in Maryland.

Gary Bennett is a longtime Frederick resident who spends his time hiking, biking, volunteering and providing childcare for grandchildren. He is married and retired from his career as a nonprofit marketing executive.

In appreciation: 50 years of Barney Miller

By Gary Bennett

This article appears in the April 3, 2025, issue of Frederick News-Post’s “72 Hours” entertainment insert.

Before there was Barney the dinosaur, there was Barney Miller. (Of course, before that came the undisputed Barney champion of all time, Barney Fife.)

Being the second or third best of anything is not too bad, but the case can be made that “Barney Miller”, a smartly written police comedy from the 1970s and ’80s, was one of the best TV shows ever.

TV Guide sure thinks so. In 2013, it ranked “Barney Miller” No. 46 on its list of the top 60 TV shows of all time. That may not sound like much, but consider that by 2013, over 10,000 TV shows had aired on broadcast or cable TV since the 1940s.

“Barney Miller” premiered on ABC on Tuesday evening, Jan. 23, 1975. It stayed there for eight years, often preceded by another big ABC hit, “Happy Days.” The titular character of the show, Captain “Barney Miller,” was played superbly by handsome, 40-something, ‘70s ‘stache-sporting Broadway actor Hal Linden. He professionally and calmly led a motley bunch of police detectives in the “old one-two” — the 12th Police Precinct in New York City.

The show was created by Danny Arnold and Theodore J. Flicker. Noam Pitlik directed most episodes. “Barney Miller” was never canceled. The producers voluntarily ended production on May 20, 1982, fearing they may begin to repeat story lines. It was never what you might call a smash hit. It was more like comfortable sweatpants you looked forward to slipping on once each week.

Hal Linden

The entire series is available for purchase on DVD, and you can even catch two episodes every week night at 9 p.m. on Antenna TV.

“Barney Miller” takes place almost entirely within the confines of the detectives’ squad room and Captain Barney Miller’s adjoining office. Most of the police action happens off-screen. This was the same strategy employed by contemporary sitcom “All in the Family” that took place almost completely within the Bunker’s Queens living room.

The familiar old precinct setting, complete with clutter and grime that seemed immovable over the years, allowed viewers to focus completely on the interplay of the characters — both the starring detectives and guest starring complainants and suspects — to superb effect.

A typical episode featured the detectives of the 12th Precinct bringing in several oddball complainants or suspects to the squad room. Usually, there were two or three separate subplots in each episode, with different officers dealing with different crimes and suspects. Many of the laughs came from the seen-it-all detectives and their handling of the weirdo interlopers.

Captain Miller (Linden) tries to remain sane while leading the 12th Precinct’s detectives. And what a crew they were. This was one of television’s first great ensemble casts.

The cast was led by crotchety, world-weary, Jewish-American Philip K. Fish (played by Abe Vigoda of “The Godfather” fame); naive, excitable but goodhearted Polish-American Stanley “Wojo” Wojciehowicz (played by Max Gail); ambitious, intellectual and slightly arrogant African-American Ron Harris (played by Ron Glass); wisecracking, gambling, poor coffee-making Japanese-American Nick Yemana (played by Jack Soo); and beleaguered Puerto Rican Chano Amanguale (played by Gregory Sierra).

Abe Vigoda

Miller also had to deal with his winking, glad-handing, past his prime, unapologetically old-school superior, Inspector Frank Luger (played wonderfully by character actor James Gregory), and diminutive and toadying uniformed officer Carl Levitt (played by Ron Carey), who constantly badgers Miller about being promoted to detective. Chano and Fish were replaced by intellectual Arthur Dietrich (played by deadpan comedian Steve Landesberg) in season three.

Some typical conflicts and long-running plot lines included Miller’s constant efforts to maintain peace, order and discipline; Harris’ preoccupation with outside interests, especially his novel that he wrote while on the job (“Blood on the Badge”); Fish’s age-related incontinence issues and reluctance to retire; Wojo’s impulsive behavior; Luger’s nostalgia for the old days; Levitt’s eventually successful quest to become a detective; the rivalry between the precinct’s intellectuals, Harris and Dietrich; and reliably bad coffee made by Yemana.

Like many sitcoms, “Barney Miller” took a while to get established and find its bearings. The first season focused much of the time on Barney’s private life at home with wife Liz (played by Barbara Barrie). The show runners soon realized the laughs came from within the precinct and wrote Liz out of the show. Rarely after that did we get a glimpse into any of the detectives’ private lives.

One of my favorite episodes, “Hash,” explored what would happen if the detectives unknowingly ate brownies laced with hashish while on the job. A great line from that episode was delivered when the still sober Captain Miller asked Harris where nearly retired and slow-moving Fish was. Harris slurred, “Last time I saw him, Barn, he was jumping between buildings running down a perp.”

Another favorite was the fifth-season finale “Jack Soo: A Retrospective,” which paid tribute to the late comic actor who was felled by cancer earlier that year. In this episode, the cast, led by Linden, appeared as themselves in the 12th Precinct office as they fondly shared stories and remembrances of their dear friend. At the end of the episode, the cast raised their coffee cups in loving memory of Soo.

Decades after it left the air, “Barney Miller” retains a devoted following including real-life police officers, who appreciate the show’s emphasis on dialogue, believably quirky characters, and its low-key portrayal of cops going about their sometimes-mundane jobs. “Barney Miller” is very possibly the most realistic cop show TV has ever seen.

Inexplicably, none of the actors ever won an Emmy Award (there were many nominations for Linden, Glass and Landesberg), but the show itself was honored many times with writing and directing awards. In its final season of 1982, “Barney Miller” finally won the Emmy for best comedy series after six previous nominations.

Linden (94) and Gail (82) are still alive and fondly remember their time on the show. Linden has told interviewers that he is still occasionally called “Captain” by respectful, working police officers. It’s difficult to imagine anyone else in that role now, but Linden let on recently that only a scheduling conflict prevented Daren McGavin from taking the role.

To this day, “Barney Miller” remains an influential TV show, noted for its ability to tackle tough, timely issues in a lighthearted way.

Maxwell Gail

Gary Bennett is a longtime Frederick resident who spends his time hiking, biking, volunteering and providing childcare for grandchildren. He is married and retired from his career as a nonprofit marketing executive.

Pub Crawling St. Patrick’s Day

By Gary Bennett

Getting an early start on St. Patrick’s Day celebrating at Bushwallers in downtown Frederick are, from left, Donna Brannen, Linda Price and Mary Brill. The restaurant opened to a capacity crowd at 8 a.m. on St. Patrick’s Day in 2023.

This article appears in the March 13, 2025, issue of Frederick News-Post’s “72 Hours” entertainment insert.

Along with being Irish for a day, “kiss me — I’m Irish” proclamations, and wearing green, for many people, St. Patrick’s Day means it’s time for a pub crawl.

The term “crawl” refers to the slow and steady pace of moving from one bar to the next, as opposed to rushing in and out — although it could also refer to the slower pace of movement as the evening wears on and inebriation sets in. But let’s hope not.

Pub crawls differ from bar hopping because of the organized nature of the event. Bar hopping is spontaneous. Pub crawls are planned. Bar hopping typically takes you to the same old haunts. Pub crawls should take you to places you have never tried. Typically, with crawls, there is a set route to follow from bar to bar.

Crawlers can walk, take taxis or sometimes even a special “pub crawl” bus, and costumes are often encouraged — or at least tolerated.

HISTORY

Inconceivably, pub crawls do not necessarily trace their origins back to St. Patrick’s Day. Other holidays — Halloween, Cinco de Mayo, Christmas and New Year’s Eve — were often used to build pub crawls around. But often, no holidays were needed at all!

By most accounts, pub crawls date back to early 20th-century London, home to closely situated pubs on just about every street. The first pub crawl is credited to Oxford University students in 1910, who visited 18 English pubs in one night to blow off steam and socialize with likeminded colleagues.

Today, much of the civilized world celebrates pub crawls for birthdays, bachelor and bachelorette parties, random get-togethers and yes, St. Patrick’s Day. There are even tour organizers who specialize in pub crawls.

For a pub crawl to be fun and exciting, you need a substantial number of closely situated bars to visit. We are fortunate to have plenty of bars, breweries and distilleries situated in downtown Frederick.

Unfortunately, as of this writing, there are no official pub crawls scheduled for Frederick on March 17. There are many scheduled in D.C., Alexandria, Baltimore and even Westminster and Cumberland.

But Frederick’s lack of a pre-planned pub crawl doesn’t mean you can’t organize your own!

MARKET STREET CRAWL

For your crawling pleasure, here is a suggested list of 10 bars in the downtown Frederick area to visit on St. Patrick’s Day, listed by the most efficient walking route. It stretches for about a mile.

Be sure to check websites for the most up to date information on St. Patrick’s Day specials. Please drink responsibly, go with friends and don’t drink and drive.

1. Begin at Olde Towne Tavern on North Market Street, where parking is plentiful. Olde Towne has a warm, neighborhood-bar feel and features several specials on Monday nights. Happy hour lasts from 4 to 7 p.m. with $1 off all drinks and $5 personal pizzas. Enjoy ping pong, pool, darts and foosball.

2. Head south on Market Street for about two blocks to really get your Irish on at Bushwaller’s, one of Frederick’s two traditional Irish pubs. For early risers, the green-adorned Frederick institution opens at 8 a.m. on March 17 for “Kegs and Eggs.” They will also host live music throughout the day.

3. Turn the corner onto Second Street and head into Frederick’s other Irish pub, Magoo’s. Proprietor Jennifer Daugherty has planned a special St. Patrick’s Day menu with traditional Irish dishes, Guinness on tap, Smithwick’s Irish Ale, Harp Lager and Kilkenny Irish Cream.

Note: Because our two Irish pubs are in such close proximity, the area around Market and Second streets are sure to be packed with humanity, spilling out into the street. Be advised it might be hard to belly up to the bar at either location. You may be better off making a reservation for dinner.

4. Next, turn into Agave 137, less than a block away on North Market. Agave is typically closed on Mondays but will open on St. Patrick’s Day with extended hours.

5. Next up is Shuckin’ Shack Oyster Bar, just steps away from Carroll Creek on North Market and just a block or so from Agave 137. Co-owner Eric Weller has big plans for March 17. They will be hosting their fourth annual fundraiser for muscular dystrophy in conjunction with Frederick Career Firefighters. The event will go on all day, enhanced by live music and a party atmosphere very possibly at the large parking lot right next door.

6. Next door to Shuckin’ Shack is pleasantly named Hootch and Banter. Their lounge is not usually open on Mondays, so please check their website for any St. Patrick’s Day activities.

7. Head just around the corner from Hootch and Banter to try out Frederick’s “pour your own” destination, Frederick Social. Here, you’ll have plenty of room to spread out. With a large patio area and Carroll Creek as a backdrop, you can choose from a selection of dozens of beers, wines and cocktails on tap to toast St. Patrick.

8. After your stop at Frederick Social, turn around, get your bearings, and head back up North Market for one block. Take a slight detour onto East Patrick Street and arrive at JoJo’s Restaurant and Tap House. On March 17, enjoy an all-day happy hour featuring $2 off draft beers, $1 off bottle and can beers, and $2 off all wine by the glass.

9. After JoJo’s, keep walking north on Market Street to a Frederick favorite, Brewer’s Alley, which will offer a “Kegs and Eggs” breakfast buffet along with special drinks and Irish-themed food on St. Patrick’s Day. Their rooftop bar will be open the entire weekend.

10. After Brewer’s, tuck in behind their building to finish your evening at White Rabbit Gastropub. Plans had not yet been finalized at the time of writing but, I’m told, may include a block party in their sizable parking lot. Call 240-651-1952 for information closer to the holiday. You can expect specials though, such as green beer, shamrock shakes and Shepherd’s Pie pizza among other unusual offerings.

If you prefer to get off Market Street and venture down Carroll Creek, you can make a night of it at RAK Brewing, Idiom Brewing, Attaboy Beer and Steinhardt Brewing, all of which are within close proximity.

RAK Brewing promises several specialty beer releases on St. Patrick’s Day, including a Dublin stout. Idiom will host live music, green beer and food specials. Steinhardt will feature live music along with $1 off pints of celebration (Dry Irish Stout), Irish Red and Green Kolsch from March 14 to 17.

Gary Bennett is a longtime Frederick resident who spends his time hiking, biking, volunteering and providing childcare for grandchildren. He is married and retired from his career as a nonprofit marketing executive.

Regional Housing Infrastructure Gap Act

By Gary Bennett

This article appears in the March 2025 edition of the Woodsboro-Walkersville News-Journal, page 5.

Municipalities around Frederick County that deny housing projects because they will “change the neighborhood character” or because they simply “don’t want any more housing,” should be ready to prove in an objective, measurable way how new housing will adversely affect their community if Maryland House Bill HB053 (cross-filed with Senate Bill SB0430) passes the Maryland legislature and ends up on Governor Moore’s desk.

Known as the Regional Housing Infrastructure Gap Act (or Housing for Jobs Act), this proposed legislation will tie a region’s number of jobs to the housing needed to support those jobs. The legislation purposely aims to make it more difficult for jurisdictions to oppose reasonable housing projects.

The proposed legislation is similar to “Fair share” planning and zoning rules in New Jersey, Connecticut and other states that require each municipality or region to provide a proportional amount of affordable housing based on factors like population, jobs and land availability, essentially ensuring that the burden of providing low-income housing is distributed equitably across different areas, preventing concentration of affordable housing in only certain neighborhoods.

The housing gap in Frederick County was estimated to be 5,700 units in 2016, and we all know the gap has widened since then. It is especially dire for those at the bottom rungs of the economic ladder. To update our estimated gap, Frederick County is now in the early stages of a new housing study that will also lead to the county’s first housing strategic plan.

Even with people suffering with homelessness, overcrowding at others’ homes and doing without enough food, medicine and clothing to pay their exorbitant housing costs, some municipalities around Frederick County (excluding Frederick City) have made it abundantly clear that no residential growth or very slow residential growth are the only policies they will accept and support. We read about this time and again.

It shouldn’t be this way.  Just like it takes a village to raise a child, it will take the entire county to solve our housing problem.

All municipalities in the county should share in the expected growth we cannot stop. There is not much we can do to quell demand to live in our county short of ripping up Carroll Creek, razing our delightful downtown and walling off our picturesque scenery and open spaces, which are already protected by the state and county and can’t be built upon.

Sure, we could shutter our windows and stop all housing projects in their tracks if we wished, but then we would become like other no-growth counties that eventually wither and then try to get back on track. This stance may work for people who live here now, but what about our children and aging parents who wish to stay. Where do they go?

The proposed legislation aims to peg needed housing to jobs. Specifically, the bill says that for every 1.5 jobs within our county, there should be one housing unit. Under our current jobs-to-housing ratio, the county would need to build 7,000 homes to reach that ratio, a number not far from our estimated 2016 gap of 5,700.

Pegging housing to jobs makes sense. People want to live close to where they work, and for a host of environmental, energy, family and community reasons, we should want that, too. Under the bill, planning and zoning boards and town councils must approve housing projects unless there’s a very good and objective reason not to.

Municipalities would be able to stop housing development projects only if:

  • It would have a specific adverse impact on the public health or safety to the residents who would live there, and there is no feasible way to mitigate it.
  • It is in an area with inadequate water or wastewater facilities to adequately serve the project, and there is no feasible way to mitigate it.
  • It is in an area zoned for heavy industrial use or on conservation property.
  • It is in a school attendance area that has verifiable current or projected full-time enrolment that exceeds 100% of the school’s estimated or state-rated capacity, and there is no feasible method to comply.

The bill authorizes the state’s Department of Housing and Community Development and Department of Planning to calculate regional housing infrastructure gaps, provide the apportionment of regional housing infrastructure gaps to all counties and incorporated municipalities and establish that certain local jurisdictions have an affirmative obligation to expeditiously approve housing development project applications.

The “affirmative obligation” clause is a big one and a paradigm shift in how business is done now.

Currently, municipalities are under no obligation to help solve our county’s housing problem and often do not even see it as their problem. They are perfectly happy for most of the development to happen in Frederick City. Under the bill, a local jurisdiction may not deny a housing development project unless it has a justification that “clearly outweighs the need for housing and is supported by clear and convincing evidence.”

Indeed, if a local jurisdiction denies a housing development project, the local jurisdiction must provide in writing the reason for denial, specifying how the denial complies with the law. The proponent of a housing development may bring an action in the appropriate circuit court to enforce it. If passed and signed by the governor this session, which is likely, the Act will take effect on January 1, 2026.

This potential shift in state housing policy is not surprising. We should remember that land use control is constitutionally guaranteed to states, not municipalities. States have often delegated this authority to municipalities, as they’ve done in Maryland. But it can be taken back when local decision makers misuse the privilege.

It’s too bad doing the right thing has to be mandated, but we suspect the state has had enough new housing developments stopped in their tracks for specious reasons to warrant action. The days of simply not wanting more housing to stop projects may become a thing of the past.

The bill is still in draft form and there’s a very long way to go. It is currently in the House of Delegates with a hearing scheduled for March 4 at 1:00 pm. Frederick County Delegate Ken Kerr is a co-sponsor.

Breakup songs to drive home the message

By Gary Bennett

If you’re celebrating National Breakup Day on Feb. 21,sorry and good luck.

This article appears in the February 20, 2025, issue of Frederick-News Post’s “72 Hours” entertainment insert.

Valentine’s Day is nice, but because real life happens, Feb. 21 is National Breakup Day. It should be no surprise. It comes only one week after the big day because, you know, love can be fleeting.

This anti-est of Valentine’s Day is sad, sure, but necessary. Who among us has never had trouble ridding ourselves of that certain someone who seems to just hang on and won’t take no for an answer?

Despite your protests, you might need help in this area. Maybe not today and maybe not tomorrow, but the day might come when you’ll find yourself hiding in the bushes rather than spending another evening with Mr. or Ms. Wrong.

Here are my Top 10 Breakup Songs for your life-skills pleasure. I know what you’re thinking, but no, I’m actually happily married. Keep in mind, though, I’m an older guy who enjoys rock and pop tunes from the ‘60s, ‘70s and ’80s, so that’s what you’re getting here.

As I’m sure you know, breakup songs come in two flavors. There are the “I’m so sad we broke up, I’m just going to wallow in it” songs and the “please go away” songs. This list is comprised of the latter. Enjoy your breakup!

1. HIT THE ROAD, JACK

Ray Charles, 1960

This classic from a legendary artist is a verbal jousting match between a frustrated woman and a no-good man.

“Now baby, listen baby, don’t ya treat me this way, ‘cause I’ll be back on my feet someday, don’t care if you do ‘cause it’s understood, you ain’t got no money, you just ain’t no good.”

2. DON’T GO AWAY MAD (JUST GO AWAY)

Motley Crue, 1990

The hard rockers were at their peak with this gleeful, sleeper hit.

“Seasons must change, separate paths, separate ways, girl, don’t go away mad, just go away.”

3. ONE LESS SET OF FOOTSTEPS

Jim Croce, 1973

The mustachioed, blue-collar rocker shows the door to his old squeeze in no uncertain terms.

“If that’s the way that you want it, well that’s the way I want it more, ‘cause there’ll be one less set of footsteps on your floor in the morning.”

4. GO YOUR OWN WAY

Fleetwood Mac, 1977

Lindsey Buckingham wrote the song about his breakup with fellow band member Stevie Nicks.

“Tell me why everything turned around, packing up, shacking up is all you want to do, you can go your own way.”

5. IT’S OVER

Boz Scaggs, 1976

Scaggs writes about a fed-up lover who has had enough … but not really.

“Why can’t you just get it through your head, it’s over, it’s over now, yes, you heard me clearly, now I said it’s over. It’s over now.”

6. IT’S TOO LATE

Carole King, 1971

This classic from the great ‘60s and ‘70s songwriter tries to gently (maybe too gently) explain why their relationship just isn’t working.

“And it’s too late, baby, now it’s too late. Though we really did try to make it, something inside has died, and I can’t hide, and I just can’t take it.”

7. ALREADY GONE

The Eagles, 1974

The most successful American band struck gold with an early hit that declared victory over a failed relationship.

“So oftentimes it happens that we live our lives in chains, and we never even know we have the key, but me — I’m already gone and I’m feelin’ strong.”

8. SMOKE FROM A DISTANT FIRE

Sanford-Townsend Band, 1976

A terrific, rollicking, one-hit wonder song with the best breakup line ever (involving a screen door). It tells the story of an unfaithful girl who is now getting her comeuppance.

“This lying and cryin’ is upsettin’ and gettin’ nowhere. It don’t stack up, so slack up and pack up, I just don’t care. Don’t let the screen door hit you on your way out.”

9. YOU’RE NO GOOD

Linda Ronstadt, 1974

This bluesy version, from early ’70s queen of pop Linda Rondstadt, congratulates herself for finally coming to her senses. She really lets her ex have it.

“Feelin’ better now that we’re through, feelin’ better ‘cause I’m over you. I learned my lesson, it left a scar, now I see how you really are: You’re no good.”

10. RAMBLIN’ MAN

Allman Brothers Band, 1973

These Southern rockers explain they will be leaving soon because it’s in their DNA and can’t be stopped.

“And when it’s time for leavin’, I hope you’ll understand, that I was born a ramblin’ man.”

American R&B and Soul musician and band leader Ray Charles (born Ray Charles Robinson, 1930 – 2004) plays piano as he performs during a JVC Jazz Festival concert at Avery Fisher Hall at Lincoln Center, New York, New York, June 29, 1994. (Photo by Jack Vartoogian/Getty Images)

HONORABLE MENTIONS

• The All American Rejects’ “Gives You Hell”

• Bob Dylan’s “Don’t Think Twice, It’s Alright”

• Greg Kihn Band’s “The Breakup Song”

• J. Geils Band’s “Love Stinks”

• Elton John’s “I’m Still Standing”

• Led Zeppelin’s “Babe I’m Gonna Leave You”

• Marshall Tucker Band’s “Heard it in a Love Song”

• Paul Simon’s “50 Ways to Leave Your Lover”

• Rod Stewart’s “Maggie May”

• Styx’s “Babe”

• Taylor Swift’s “Picture to Burn”

• Carrie Underwood’s “Before He Cheats”

• Gotye’s “Somebody That I Used to Know”

Gary Bennett is a longtime Frederick resident who spends his time hiking, biking, volunteering and providing childcare for grandchildren. He is married and retired from his career as a nonprofit marketing executive.

Retired and Inspired: FCC’s ILR offers courses that pique interest

By Gary Bennett

People takes notes and listen during a class at the Institute for Learning in Retirement.

This article appears in the Winter 2025 issue of Frederick News-Posts “Prime Time” magazine.

Think back to your high school or college days. Do you fondly remember opening textbooks, considering issues and exploring the world through history and literature? I sure do. Back then, our brains were like sponges, soaking up every bit of information made available.

As we grow older, the pace of learning changes. Research shows that by the time we reach adulthood, many of us notice certain mental tasks, like quickly processing new information or tackling a complex problem, become more challenging. Scientists have identified physical changes in our brains that help explain this shift as we age.

But there’s good news: While the speed of learning might slow as we age, the ability to learn never stops. Research also shows that we can continue to expand our minds and acquire new skills as long as we’re willing to put in the effort.

COURSES FOR EVERYONE

Luckily for us, seniors in Frederick can rely upon the Institute for Learning in Retirement for a professionally organized and reliable destination for mature intellectual discovery.

Kelli Ackiewicz, the ILR program manager and a civil engineer by trade, came on board in 2016. She jumped at the chance to lead this program after assisting with women-to-women mentoring at FCC. She jokes that she helped “engineer some issues they had going on at the college” and then brought her prowess to ILR.

Linda Funsch instructs a class at the Institute for Learning in Retirement at FCC.

No one knows for sure how many Frederick County seniors have been served since 1998, but Ackiewicz did share that the Institute has served an average of 700 students annually over the past 10 years, resulting in more than 18,000 enrollments during this time. On average, students take about three courses per year.

Offered in conjunction with Frederick Community College and mostly on its campus, the Institute offers a wide range of diverse, college-style courses. Enroll and you’ll get lectures, handouts, slides and vibrant discussion, but the one thing you won’t get (thankfully) are tests and grades. Courses are designed for adults by adults. They are fun but can also be described as “no-nonsense.” More than 175 courses are offered each year.

The IRL curriculum team offer courses for just about anyone. Each course is designed to be casual, fun and with the needs of older adults in mind, though there is no age minimum requirement. Those not yet retired are more than welcome to join.

Included in the curriculum are courses in arts, crafts and music; computers and technology; food and drink; health and wellness; history, culture and current events; home and hobbies; learning a language; life planning and finances; philosophy, religion and exploration; photography; science and nature; and writing. A full list of the spring 2025 courses is at ILRFCC.org.

According to Ackiewicz, some of the more popular courses are in the history realm, current events and their “learning on location” bus trips.

There are also many unique courses you might not expect to find, like Discover Your Past Lives, Why is a Ghost a Ghost?, Crochet for Beginners, Writing Your Life Story, Maryland Whiskey 101, Successful Aging in Place, Chickenology (how to raise chickens), Beeconomics (how to make money as a beekeeper!) and Introduction to Ballroom Dancing.

A typical course is held in person, although some are virtual and others are offered on location. Most include 8 to 12 sessions, span one or two months, last for an hour or two at a time, and can occur on any day of the week. Offerings vary widely, so it is advisable to check online or ask for a printed catalog to see what best meets your personal interests and schedule.

In general, most winter/spring courses begin in late January or early February (although others may begin later in the year) and finish by late May or early June.

Richard Kaplowitz of Frederick types notes during a class at the Institute for Learning in Retirement at FCC.

Tuition and fees are reasonable. Most of the course costs are comprised of fees that can range from free for courses that last only one session to just over $100 for multi-session courses. Course costs average $59 to $69. If you try a course and find it is not for you, you may be able to transfer into another course or request a refund.

Some courses are free, made possible through the FCC Foundation. The Institute partners with Frederick County Public Libraries, Frederick County Senior Center and others to offer free courses at those locations.

Instructors are usually passionate experts with lived experience in the subject area. IRL does welcome new instructors with new course ideas (if interested, submit a course proposal form at ILRFCC.org). Ackiewicz promises that all new courses selected are given every chance to succeed, offering them at least two or three times before re-evaluating.

STUDENT PERSPECTIVES

Margie Shattuck has taken ILR courses since she moved to Frederick in 2011. She’s studied a number of subject areas and most enjoys courses on subjects she knows little about.

“It’s a great way to learn a few things and see if I would like to study it further,” she said.

She is currently an ambassador for the program, helping to get the word out about the Institute and staffing booths at expos, festivals and meetings.

Shattuck highly recommends ILR.

“It’s helped enrich my life,” she said. “I’ve learned about a lot of subjects I had a slight interest in, such as learning about past lives, technical things like Photoshop, photography on my phone and medical things. There’s a great program called Medically Curious, where a doctor comes in and talks about things like how to research medical issues online and how to avoid incorrect info on the web.”

Curious students can try a wide swath of courses, although it would behoove you to choose areas of interest. If you have a change of heart, partial refunds can be requested after a class begins, but they are not promised.

Also, be ready for a few know-it-alls who seem to know the teacher and the subject matter inside and out. Laugh it off and remember, some things never change.

The author (far right) and some new friends at a Learning on Location class on the Appalachian Trail.

Gary Bennett is a longtime Frederick resident who spends his time hiking, biking, volunteering and providing childcare for grandchildren. He is married and retired from his career as a nonprofit marketing executive.

Get (way) out of town for Valentine’s Day

By Gary Bennett

This article appears in the February 13, 2025, issue of Frederick News-Post’s “72 Hours” entertainment insert.

Folks, you don’t need to surprise your honey with a romantic trip to Paris, Venice or Rome for Valentine’s Day. Oh no, that’s too expensive anyway. Believe me, you’ll feel right at home at one of these romantic destinations I’ve carefully curated for you right here in the good old U.S.A.

When you arrive in one of these dreamy destinations, your significant other will be overcome with emotion. In fact, they won’t look at you the same way again. Plus, some of these towns are so inexpensive to visit, they will actually pay you to come!

I must warn you, though, not all of these towns are large enough to have a romantic bed and breakfast (or running water, for that matter.) But I can assure you, they all have “Welcome to” signs that will be just right for that selfie.

Please note that all these places are real! Only the descriptions have been changed to protect the town leaders and, of course, the innocent. Plus, the real descriptions are lame.

Accident, Maryland

A charming burg in nearby Garrett County. You may want to skip this one, though, if you don’t wish to have one of those kinds of romantic mishaps.

Bangor, Maine

Our northernmost destination (pronounced Bang-er) is snow covered at Valentine’s Day and action-oriented (I mean skiing! C’mon, get your mind out of the gutter!).

Boody, Illinois

This restful, bootylicious heartland community will make you feel like sitting down and taking a load off.

Butternuts, New York

This tiny upstate enclave is named after the tasty squash that is plentiful here (what did you think?). Be advised, you may come away from here with a new nickname, if you play your cards right.

Climax, Georgia

You’ll burst with excitement when visiting this small but satisfying Southern town.

Cockeysville, Maryland

A close-by Maryland destination that specializes in goofy little pet names. Your honey pie will love it!

Conception, Missouri

Like Accident, this one is not for the faint of heart. Skip this one if you’re not feeling lucky.

Conquest, New York

A delightful upstate borough perfect for the goal-oriented, won’t-take-no-for-an-answer folks. (You know who you are.)

Diamond, California

Now we’re talking. This one is for the big spenders among us, or at least folks who appreciate syrupy pop songs from a ‘70s icon.

Flowers, Mississippi

If you’re not ready for Diamond (and who is?), this is your next best bet.

French Lick, Indiana

Home of NBA legend Larry Bird. Townsfolk will be glad to show you around and provide an oral history.

Fertile, Minnesota

If you’re not going to Accident or Conception, I doubt you’ll go here. But I say take a chance! What could go wrong?

Heart Butte, Montana

I can see you snickering out there, but it’s pronounced Byute. You know, like a lovely, shapely mountain.

Heartwell, Nebraska

This destination sounds nice but I’m sorry to say it’s actually full of cardiologists. I include it here for the over-70 readers.

Hell, Michigan

This is the final, frozen-over destination for those love-on-the-rocks, can’t-be-saved relationships. Heck, you can even be mayor here for a day if you pay the price.

Honeyville, Utah

Take your honey to this little hamlet in the Mormon state. Be advised: If you’re not married, a church leader might harangue you about going back home.

Hooker, Oklahoma

Maybe not the best choice for a romantic weekend, but I say give it a try. Be sure to take advantage of the welcoming committee found on most street corners. Bring cash and low expectations.

Intercourse, Pennsylvania

Finally! Slip into the most famous romantic getaway on the list. And, because it’s positioned just up the road from us in Frederick, you’ll be thrust into a great time. Trust me.

Love, Arizona

This is what’s it’s all about, right?

Lovers Leap, Cumberland

This nearby attraction beckons lovers to show how much they really care. Perfect for the nothing-to-lose folks just a step ahead of an angry, shotgun-toting father.

Pee Pee Township, Ohio

If Cockeysville is just too cutesy for you, there’s always this surprisingly tiny community in Ohio that is folded into its southern region. Blink and you could miss it.

Romance, Arkansas

Be sure to visit the world’s largest thesaurus factory in this exciting, joyful, dreamy, starry-eyed, romantic village in the Ozarks.

Roses, Pennsylvania

This burg in the Keystone State is not far from Intercourse. Everyone knows it’s hard to visit Intercourse unless you do Roses first.

Rough and Ready, California

Named after California’s proud gold-mining past (sure it was), lovers here must be open-minded and up for just about anything.

Screamer, Alabama

An obvious choice for you overachievers. But unless you’ve been here before, you’ll marvel at how noisy this town can be, especially on Saturday nights.

Sweet Lips, Tennessee

If Butternuts is not your cup of tea, I wholeheartedly recommend Sweet Lips.

Surprise, New York

There are lots of Surprises in the U.S., but the one in New York was founded by the same folks who settled Conception, Missouri. They got out of there fast.

Truth or Consequences, New Mexico

You can’t get away with anything in this well-named community, so don’t even try.

Valentine, Indiana

Finally, a town worthy of this list that has gone terribly off the tracks. Fun fact: This town was just recently renamed from Greeting Card, Indiana, to honor the handsome agent on the television show “FBI.”

Weiner, Arkansas

Last but not least, this tiny town is pronounced the way you think, and they are damn proud of it. Home to world-famous Chihuahua races and snow birds from Pee Pee Township, Ohio.

Gary Bennett is a longtime Frederick resident who spends his time hiking, biking, volunteering and providing childcare for grandchildren. He is married and retired from his career as a nonprofit marketing executive.