Every time I make my way to Siesta Key, Florida, the terrific steel-drum-infused Beach Boys song “Kokomo” comes to mind. “Everybody knows, a little place like Kokomo … that’s where you wanna go, to get away from it all.”
I’ve been getting away from it all for close to 40 years now, and it’s the same place almost every year — beautiful Siesta Key. It’s a delightful barrier island that juts into the Gulf of Mexico in Western Florida about 70 miles south of Tampa.
The island itself is only eight miles long and crescent-shaped. It’s bordered by the Gulf of Mexico on the west and the Intercoastal Waterway on the east. The vibrant, handsome city of Sarasota is close by, too. That’s where the Orioles train each spring. Two charming drawbridges connect Siesta Key to the mainland.
Florida, of course, sports hundreds of miles of beaches on the Atlantic Ocean and the gulf. It’s hard to go wrong with almost any of them. But if you want calm, warm water almost any time of year; gentle surf; pristine, white powdery sand; and quiet, minimally invasive nightlife, Siesta Key is the destination for you, too.
STAR ATTRACTIONS
Of its many qualities, the real star of the show in Siesta Key is the white, cool-to-the-touch sand, rated as some of the world’s finest. It’s clean, dazzling white, and feels like confectioner’s sugar. Scientists say this is because it’s made up of nearly 99% quartz crystals, with little to no chipped shells mixed in. You’ll find nothing like it in the beaches along the Atlantic Ocean. There is no such thing as burned feet due to sand in Siesta Key.
Gentle, shallow, azure waves lap continuously at your ankles.
For nine months of the year, the co-star to the beautiful white sand is the gentle, warm water. You rarely need to worry about waves knocking you over or shocking yourself with cold or even cool water as you enter the surf for the first time. Mostly, the water temperature hovers in the high 80s, which approximates the air temperature. You can literally take your noodle out into the gentle surf and bob for hours while chatting with friends or enjoying an adult beverage. There has been no scientific research to my knowledge to prove this, but I am convinced of the healing powers of the gulf waters. I certainly feel rejuvenated after a few hours in it.
BEACHES
Siesta Key is actually made up of three beaches. Each seems to have its own personality.
Siesta Beach to the north is a busy public beach, complete with tennis and volleyball courts, shaded playgrounds and a bustling concession stand. It has year-round lifeguard protection. There is a fun drum circle one or two hours before sunset each Sunday. Teenagers, 20-somethings and day-tripping families flock here.
Crescent Beach, in the middle of the island, is more secluded and private, with only one public access trail. It is perfect for, shall we say, the more mature crowd. It is dotted with pools, palm trees and lovely condos to rent for as little as three days or as much as a year. Loggerhead sea turtles use this beach to lay eggs and nest for up to six months. The beach is kept dark at night so as not to disorient them. There have been nearly 400 total nests established so far in 2023. Chances are, you’ll see some nests on this beach that have been staked off by biologists.
Lovely, fluttering seagrass on the Siesta Key beach.
Turtle Beach to the south is a sportier, family play beach. It’s a great location for paddle boarding and snorkeling. An abundance of seashells makes it beachcomber’s paradise. There are lots of shark’s teeth, too, to impress the kids.
All three beaches feature breathtaking sunsets; gentle, easy-going waves; and beautiful, shallow, azure water. Young parents can feel secure allowing their pre-school kids to play unattended at the water’s edge. Each beach has been recognized for cleanliness, water quality and safety.
The Travel Channel ranks Siesta Beach as one of the nation’s top 10 beaches. It has also been recognized as the No. 1 beach in the U.S. by Stephen D. Leatherman (aka Dr. Beach), director of the highly respected Laboratory for Coastal Research. It continues to receive recognition across the country and world as one of the top coastal destinations. International visitors abound. There is a cacophony of languages to be heard up and down the island.
GETTING THERE
If you’ve seen any of my contributions to 72 Hours, you may know I love road trips. My best friend and I have made this trip by car many times, picking up our less adventurous (OK, saner) wives at the airport. The 1,200 miles from Frederick to Siesta Key may seem daunting, but it’s really not too bad. You can depart from Frederick at 8 a.m. (preferably on a weekend) and be in Daytona Beach or Ocala (depending on which way you go) by 8 p.m. After a good night’s rest, you’ll be in Siesta Key by lunch time. If you really want to push it, you can make it all the way to Siesta Key in about 16 hours, mostly down I-95.
Siesta Key has breathtaking sunsets over the Gulf of Mexico nearly every night.
Of course, you can easily fly into Tampa, St. Petersburg/Clearwater, or Sarasota International Airports from BWI or Dulles in just about two and a half hours and rent a car to complete your trip. A round-trip plane ticket to Tampa and back to BWI on Southwest recently ran us about $450 each. We then rented a mid-size car for 10 days for about $600 at Enterprise.
While on the island, take advantage of handy and free shuttle services when you can. Siesta Trolley, Jonny’s Original Free Rides, Froghopper and Key Life Shuttle will all deliver you to the commercial parts of the island in a relaxed, fun atmosphere.
WHERE TO STAY
One thing you should know about Siesta Key is that there are no hotels. This has been a controversial subject among locals for years. They have, time and again, prevented the big hotel chains from encroaching on the island. For tourists like us, there are plusses and minuses to this stance. There is no denying the lack of hotels keeps a certain charm about the island intact. On the other hand, this means condo owners rule, and rentals can be pricey.
There are plenty of condos, big and small, up and down the island to suit every taste. Three of our favorites include Sea Shell, Midnight Cove and Palm Bay Club. There are even campgrounds at Turtle Beach for the campers among us.
We and another couple just finished up 10 days at a typical five-story condo in the middle of Siesta Key in the front unit with a panoramic view of the Gulf for about $4,500 or about $450 per night. Nearly a quarter of this price is made up of various state and local taxes placed on tourists. We have been loyal to our condo over the years, staying at Sarasota Surf and Raquet Club almost every trip. But, if you decide to go, it would be wise to consult with a real estate agent who can do all the legwork to find the best value for you. They are paid by the condo owners to find renters.
Prices vary by season, of course. In-season in Florida is generally winter and spring. Prices will be higher then. Our annual trip in September is off-season and a bit cheaper. It also has the added benefit of less tourists due to schools being in session all over the country. Many owners do not rent their condos off-season.
WHAT TO DO
Many people, including us, are more than happy to just chill — spend all day reading, chatting and snoozing under big umbrellas and floating in the warm gulf waters. But if you are more energetic, there is no lack of things to do. I heartily recommend visits to at least four local institutions we have enjoyed.
Ringling Museum of Art, named after circus magnate John Ringling, sports 66 lush acres and one of the largest art collections in the country. Ringling’s mansion is a stunning Gothic style palazzo with sweeping views of Sarasota Bay.
Marie Selby Botanical Gardens is a tropical oasis on the shores of Sarasota Bay. It is an open-air museum with more than 20,000 colorful plants, a butterfly garden, Koi Pond, orchid display and art exhibits.
Mote Aquarium has a variety of sea life from the smallest creatures to the largest predators. A shark habitat and hands-on exhibits round out the offerings.
The Legacy Trail is a 20-mile hardwood biking trail from nearby Sarasota to Venice, Florida, through a thick, lush canopy of vegetation. Be sure to watch out for the frequent “alligator crossing” signs as you roll along at a comfortable 10 miles per hour on the flat terrain. There are frequent rest stops along the way.
The beautiful seaside pool at Sarasota Surf & Racquet Club.
Of course, there are the requisite boat rentals, golf courses, fishing charters, parasailing excursions, jet skis rentals and beach cars to tool up and down the island. Most of these commercial offerings happen at the far northern or southern tips of the island, leaving the large middle section blissfully noncommercial.
There is terrific shopping in Siesta Key Village that includes a farmers market every Sunday from 8 a.m. to 1 p.m. “The Village,” as it is known to the locals, is a quaint, mile-long shopping and eating district at the northern end of the island. You’ll likely find yourself drawn here many evenings during your visit. Doors are wide open and inviting. The aroma from the restaurants are exquisite. Most of them sport live acoustic music that gives the area a laid-back, beachy feel. Young people are drawn here, including the cast of the MTV series “Siesta Key.”
WHERE TO EAT
If you venture into Sarasota or Venice, you can enjoy upscale, 4- and 5-star restaurants, like Fins at Sharky’s, Marina Jacks, Antoines, Michael’s on East and Flemings. However, I recommend you mostly stay on the island and eat where the locals eat.
Blasé Café, Gilligan’s Island Bar & Restaurant, Crescent Club, Island House Tap & Grill, Siesta Key Oyster Bar, Sniki Tiki and Captain Curt’s are some of our favorites. You won’t want to miss Broken Egg or Toasted Mango for breakfast at least once during your trip. Other top restaurants on the island include Walt’s, Turtle’s, Ophelia’s on the Bay, Flavios, Café Gabbiano, Siesta Key Oyster Bar and The Old Salty Dog.
The Gulf of Mexico has 87 degree water in September.
Longtime Frederick resident and insurance executive Dick Brown is a dedicated fisherman who has taken his passion and turned it into service for injured veterans.
The organization he belongs to, Maryland Bass Nation, is one of many state affiliates of the national Bass Anglers Sportsmen Society, which has approximately 24,000 members and is dedicated to conservation, youth activities and promoting the sport. Brown is the first vice president of MBN.
Each spring, Paralyzed Veterans of America holds the Capital Clash Bass Tournament in conjunction with MBN to bring injured and paralyzed veterans together with experienced fishermen for a peaceful yet competitive weekend on the water for bass fishing.
Brown has put his heart and soul into organizing this tournament for 16 years now as the tournament committee chairman for the Capital Clash event. He has been involved in some capacity since 1997. Last year they celebrated their 25th anniversary of the PVA B.A.S.S. Tournament Series. Fishermen ranre in age from 18 to 80.
Characteristically humble, Brown said, “I just kind of said I’m going to do this. The guy that got me involved was an old drill sergeant who just treated me fantastically. He was one of the best small-mouth bass fishermen in the country, and I wanted to learn from those guys. At first, PVA did 98% of it [the tournament], and I just took people out in my boat. It took off from there.”
Dick Brown (left) and PVA colleague preparing for touney.
A Logistical Challenge
Despite running a busy insurance agency and managing Type 1 diabetes and disk problems in his back, Brown and the Capital Clash committee spend most of the year organizing the tournament, including all fundraising and logistical activities.
Brown and his committee of eight fundraise to purchase and distribute T-shirts, tackle, lures and other supplies for the vets. Everyone gets a new, fully-packed tackle box and a new rod and reel.
“If they come with nothing, they’ll still be able to fish, but they usually already have equipment. Most of us have a tackle store in the boat – it’s an addiction! We want the vets to get out on the water and enjoy themselves, the camaraderie and the therapeutic aspect of that,” Brown said.
Where’s My Captain?
A big part of the organizing effort is to find enough boat captains to take the veterans out on the water. Brown needs anywhere from 30 to 90 boats, depending on attendance and demand.
“You have to find guys who have bass boats big enough to go out on the bigger bodies of water, who can keep the fish alive, because they are released back into the river and are able to donate their time, ability, gas, and oil, which is not cheap,” according to Brown.
Brown says the captains assist the paralyzed veterans as much as they can. They are not allowed to cast for them unless the veteran is unable. The captains also cannot set the hook or reel in the fish, but they can net the fish for them when it is reeled into the boat.
“Sometimes I’m short 10 or more boat captains the night before,” Brown said. “Only if we have to will we put more than one disabled vet in a boat. If someone wants to fish, we’ll find a spot for them.”
“You should have seen the one that got away!”
Not Just for Fun
The tournament is not just for camaraderie and relaxation. There are real championships and prizes at stake.
“We have a couple of donors who say they want every injured soldier to get something,” Brown said. “PVA supplies prizes to the top 10 fishermen, and MBN steps in and supplies prizes to all the others.”
Championships are measured by a point system. For each tournament you weigh your five biggest bass, and whomever has the most weight wins the tournament.
Some are novice fishermen, but because they have a national tournament trail, some have become very skilled. PVA developed this tournament trail for those who would like to fish nationally.
A First-Rate Operation
Generally, the two-day tournament begins on Friday evening at the American Legion in LaPlata. Registration is held while a picnic-style dinner is served of hamburgers, hot dogs and potato salad.
Names go into a computer, and the vets and boat captains are matched randomly, almost always one to one. In keeping with the rules, the tournament is a total “blind-draw.”
Brown explained it’s done that way so no one can pick their vet or boat captain ahead of time. “There’s always a different match made each year. It can be very competitive.”
Often these matches foster lasting relationships.
A typical fishing excursion lasts for eight hours. Vets and captains arrive at Smallwood State Park, near LaPlata, at 4 am. Saturday and are on the water by 6 am after a flag-raising ceremony. They mostly fish in the Potomac River near LaPlata and the creeks on both the Maryland and Virginia sides. They only fish for bass.
There is a separate bank division tournament. These anglers fish from the river banks if they’re not able enough to get on a boat, “a tourney within the tourney,” as Brown put it, and they also get prizes. They fish for anything, not just bass.
Time to weigh those fish.
Vets Love It
Many anglers come from all over the country to participate. “I see huge smiles and get huge thank-yous,” Brown said. “Just getting away from their daily grind and out into nature is so great. The nice thing is the vets from this area just go 20 or 30 miles south of D.C., and it’s like you’re in Florida on some of these creeks.”
Brown is proud of the fact that it is inspiring to hear participants exclaim that they are “already looking forward to next year” as they say their goodbyes.
“One of the things that gets overlooked sometimes is that veterans who are injured would not have this chance, 25, 30 years ago, and they’re back here enjoying life – such as fishing – and not complaining. They’re out there having wheelchair races and having fun, and that’s what made me realize this is important,” Brown said.
Many paralyzed vets hear about this opportunity through the rec department at Walter Reed National Military Medical Center in Bethesda. PVA also reaches out to local military bases and hospitals, such as Fort Belvoir, Joint Base Andrews, Quantico, and the Baltimore and Winchester VA hospitals.
A Fishing Tourney Lifer
Brown insists he’ll keep doing this as long as he is able.
“It’s totally a labor of love,” he said. “If I were in their shoes, I would love to have this available to me. It’s my hobby anyway, which I don’t get to do very often.”
“The very first time I did this, it changed me,” he went on. “Some days I don’t feel well because I’ve got Type 1 diabetes. But what some of these vets have to endure just to get out of bed each day and to just function at all is amazing. What do I have to be upset about? I would do it if I were in the organization or not. As long as I’m breathing and able, I’m going to participate.”
Brown considered the service out of high school but was disqualified. “’You’re flat footed and legally blind in your left eye’ was what they told me.”
It was disappointing because he was very fast and athletic and had been a hunter all his life, able to hit any target. He sees the tournament as a way to give back.
You Can Help
Anyone who wants to help with the tournament can contact Brown at dickbrown@4myinsurance.net.
There are several ways to volunteer, such as distributing supplies and lunches, helping with parking and weigh-ins, and many other tasks.
If you know someone who is injured or disabled and wants to fish, veteran or not, they may qualify to fish in this tournament and are encouraged to contact Brown. For more information, see pva.org/adaptive-sports/bass-tournament-series.
The next PVA Capital Clash Tournament is set for June 7 to 9, 2024, in Waldorf.
And yes, Brown has been working on logistics for months already.
I realize this probably doesn’t sound unusual to you. But, to me, it was. I hardly ever dream. At least I don’t think so.
Scientists say most people dream but don’t remember them. I probably fall into that category. Scientists also say the purpose of dreaming is to “help analyze and consolidate memories, a process where recent, learned experiences are converted into long-term storage.” I guess that that makes sense but still doesn’t explain the sensation of falling out of an airplane, showing up at work naked or snake monsters.
Naturally, last night’s dream got me to thinking about classic rock songs about dreaming. Why? Because I love classic rocks songs and because popular music tends to cover all the esoteric feelings and experiences we all share. If listening to love songs can help make you a more loving or romantic person, which I believe, why can’t songs about dreams make you a “dreamier” person?
Unfortunately, it seems that most songs about dreams are not really about dreams at all, at least not in the sleeping sense. No, they are more about conscious dreaming and trying to reach your full potential.
Still, I think I’ll give it a try tonight by listening to my top ten classic rock songs about dreams and see if I can repeat last night’s performance.
10. “DAYDREAM BELIEVER” The Monkees, 1968 Tuneful, repetitive song about the sweet boredom of suburban life delivered up by the fun loving boys of ‘60s bubblegum rock. “Cheer up Sleepy Jean, Oh, what can it mean, To a daydream believer, And a homecoming queen?”
9. “DREAMS” Fleetwood Mac, 1977 Haunting melody and cryptic lyrics by Stevie Nicks poking fun at her cheating boyfriend and bandmate at the time, Lindsey Buckingham. “Thunder only happens when it’s raining, Players only love you when they’re playing.”
8. “YOUR WILDEST DREAMS” The Moody Blues, 1986 Thoughtful lyrics and upbeat groove exploring whether a lost love ever thinks about you “in their wildest dreams.” “Once upon a time, Once when you were mine, I remember skies, Reflected in your eyes.”
7. “BOULEVARD OF BROKEN DREAMS” Green Day, 2004 Moody, reflective song covering heartbreaking loneliness and lost dreams. “I walk this empty street, On the boulevard of broken dreams, Where the city sleeps, And I’m the only one, And I walk alone.”
6. “ENTER SANDMAN” Metallica, 1991 These heavy metal rockers serve up a terrifying lullaby with an unforgettable guitar lick. Have to blast this one full volume for the best effect. “Say your prayers little one, Don’t forget, my son, To include everyone, I tuck you in, warm within, Keep you free from sin.”
5. “#9 DREAM” John Lennon, 1974 A soothing, haunting, spiritual song that reportedly sprang from a real dream. One of his best. “Dream, dream away, Magic in the air, Was magic in the air?, I believe, yes, I believe, More I cannot say, On a river of sound.”
4. “DREAM ON” Aerosmith, 1973 This timeless masterpiece with the unforgettable opening chords implores us to live for today because tomorrow is not promised. “Every time that I look in the mirror, All these lines on my face getting clearer, The past is gone, It went by like dusk to dawn.”
3. “CALIFORNIA DREAMIN’” The Mamas and the Papas, 1965 A lovely call and response song with impeccable harmonies about longing for something you can’t have. “All the leaves are brown, And the sky is gray, I went for a walk, On a winter’s day, I’d be safe and warm, If I was in LA.”
2. “DAYDREAM” Lovin’ Spoonful, 1966 A carefree, feel-good song about being so much in love, it’s like a daydream. Terrific tenor vocal from John Sebastian. “I’ve been having a sweet dream, I been dreamin’ since I woke up today, It’s starring me and my sweet dream, ‘Cause she’s the one makes me feel this way.”
“ALL I HAVE TO DO IS DREAM” Everly Brothers, 1958 This sweet, classic song extols the virtues of dreaming to be reunited with the one you love. Impeccable harmonies introduced America to this classic duo. “When I want you in my arms, When I want you and all your charms, Whenever I want you, All I have to do is dream, dream, dream.”
Honorable Mentions: Jim Croce’s “Dreamin’ Again,” Crowded House’s ”Don’t Dream It’s Over,” Bobby Darin’s “Dream Lover,” The Eurythmics’ “Sweet Dreams (Are Made of This),” Heart’s “These Dreams,” Billy Joel’s “The River of Dreams,” Gordon Lightfoot’s “Summertime Dream,” Kenny Nolan’s “I Like Dreamin’,” Billy Ocean’s “Get Out of My Dreams, Get Into My Car,” Elvis Presley’s “If I Can Dream,” The Romantics’ “Talking in Your Sleep,” The Talking Heads’ “Dream Operator,” and Gary Wright’s “Dream Weaver.”
Back in early August, in the pages of 72 Hours, Crystal Schelle wrote evocatively about the music of George Michael and Wham! and how much their music meant to her youth.
I know exactly how she feels.
For me, it was an obscure ‘70s singer-songwriter named Jim Croce that got into my soul and never left. Music has that power, somehow, to grab ahold of you and not let go. If you don’t have an artist that does that for you, I urge you to keep looking. It is one of the sweetest things in life.
Croce only reached American consciousness for one year before dying tragically 50 years ago this week in 1973. I cannot begin to tell you what his music means to me, even to this day. But, I’ll try.
Philadelphian James Joseph Croce had a mysterious knack for singing about the very things I was feeling as a teenager in the ‘70s, and he did it with a kind of carefree coolness that belied his long climb to fame. His relaxed demeanor is hard to describe but comes out clearly, I think, in photographs.
The album cover for “Have You Heard: Jim Croce Live,” for example, shows him on a stool playing his guitar in an old work shirt and boots, a cigar dangling beneath his enormous mustache. He didn’t seem to realize or care how big he was becoming. He caught the sensitive singer-songwriter craze of the early ‘70s, writing most of his own songs and producing three critically acclaimed albums.
A copy of the author’s own DVD
Croce didn’t so much burst on the scene as amble up to it. He provided some pleasant pop tunes in 1972, including his self-effacing hit “You Don’t Mess Around with Jim” and the lovely but sad ballad “Operator” that spoke of getting over lost love (but not really). Both songs made the top 10. I’m almost ashamed to say that I wasn’t really aware of Croce in 1972. I honestly can’t remember either song playing on the radio. But, as an awkward 10th-grader, I wasn’t really into music yet.
Croce spent years chasing his musical dreams, occasionally giving up for a while and doing all kinds of blue-collar jobs that he reportedly loved. He was a trucker, construction worker, jackhammer operator, soldier and special education teacher, among other things. Little did we know that doing those jobs and getting to know the other workers would eventually bring us such spot-on character studies as Leroy Brown, Big Jim Walker, Rapid Roy the Stock Car Boy, Spike (aka Tuffy), the infamous Roller Derby Queen, the unnamed car wash attendant with big dreams and Speedball Tucker.
In that fateful year of 1973, however, Croce came into his own with the rollicking story-song “Bad, Bad Leroy Brown,” which speaks of the comeuppance of a really bad dude living in the Southside of Chicago. Croce sang, “If you go down there, you better just beware of a man name’a Leroy Brown.”
You know someone is more than just a pop artist if they add everyday lexicon to the English language. Jim Croce did that at least twice. The next time you describe a lost cause as “spitting into the wind” or a really mean person as “meaner than a junkyard dog,” you have Croce to thank.
“Bad, Bad Leroy Brown” is a funny, funky song (with a bad word thrown in there for good measure) that we all sang with abandon. It seemed like it was always on the radio during the summer of ‘73, rising to No. 1 in July and staying there for two weeks and in the top 10 for 10 weeks through late August. I can still remember driving down the road and hearing that unmistakable opening piano riff arriving unannounced on the radio and instantly singing along and going much too fast. It was up for a Grammy and brought implausible celebrity to Croce. He spoke of writing the song about a not-too-bright Army buddy who went AWOL but came back to get his paycheck.
Stardom beckoned as Croce quickly went on to host the top music shows of the day: “The Midnight Special,” “In Concert” and “Don Kirshner’s Rock Concert” in August and early September of ‘73, a time where there was no MTV, YouTube or streaming services. He even guest-hosted “The Tonight Show” once.
As good of a singer as Croce was, he may have been an even better storyteller. Between songs, he seamlessly shared funny stories of playing in bars surrounded by chicken wire so he wouldn’t get hit by flying beer bottles and of being attracted to a five-foot-six, 215-pound “roller derby queen” who had a tooth removed so she could fit a cigarette up in there and keep her hands free.
Jim Croce, 1972
Sadly, just a month later, at the apex of his career, on Sept. 20, 1973, Croce and his guitar virtuoso accompanist, Maury Muehleisen, and several others in his party perished in a tragic small plane crash in Natchitoches, Louisiana, en route to a gig. The plane snagged a pecan tree on takeoff and tumbled to the ground in a ball of fire. Croce and the others were killed instantly. Pilot error was to blame.
He’s been gone 50 years now, and it seems like yesterday I was driving my dad’s Plymouth Satellite to the opening days of my junior year of high school and hearing the heartbreaking news on the radio. I literally had to stop and collect myself before going to school.
No one could have imagined what would happen next.
Instantaneously, the record-buying public couldn’t get enough of Croce. The stardom that eluded him during his life came flooding in after his death, as if we had to make it up to him somehow. His previous two albums shot to the top of the charts. A single released the very day of his death, “I Got a Name,” entered the top 10 immediately. His just-released album of the same name joined its two brethren by becoming one of the top three best-selling albums. Croce’s other two previously released albums also rose in popularity: “You Don’t Mess Around with Jim” soared to No. 1, and “Life and Times” settled in at No. 3. This trifecta has never again been matched in the music business.
Amazingly, all this happened in the span of a month or two. His albums went from sales in the 50,000 range nationwide to selling over 1 million copies each. To this day, I don’t know how they printed them fast enough to satisfy demand. I relished the chance to play his 8-track tapes every night during intermission at the drive-in theater I was working at in ’74 and ’75. We never got a complaint (as far as I know).
If all this weren’t enough, shortly after the single and album “I Got a Name” hit the charts at the time of his death, a lovely, obscure Croce deep cut from his first album called “Time in a Bottle” was being featured in a TV movie called “She Lives.”
The public demanded it be released as a single by bombarding radio stations with requests for it. It went on to become the No. 1 single in December 1973 through January 1974. You may know it as a very popular wedding song to this day.
One line in the song brought sadness to everyone (and still does for me): “There never seems to be enough time to do the things you want to do once you find them.” Indeed. So true.
I tell you all this because the music industry had never seen anything like it before or since. To be sure, we had very popular artists die way too soon — Elvis, Jim Morrison, Janis Joplin, Jimi Hendrix, Kurt Cobain, Michael Jackson. But to some extent, all these artists had shortened their own lives due to their own actions. The murder of John Lennon in 1980 shook the world, but there was no denying his best musical days were behind him. Thirty-year-old Jim Croce was neither killing himself quickly or slowly.
You have to go all the way back to the ‘50s and the tragic death of a very young Buddy Holly in another small plane crash to come anywhere close to the outpouring of sentiment that came after Croce’s death.
Record executives have chalked up this phenomenon to the public feeling cheated that this promising new artist was gone before they really got a chance to know him. He wasn’t on the way out; he was on the way up. He was soft spoken and humble. He was a family man. His songs were somehow different. We just knew there were a lot more funny, up-tempo songs and quiet, romantic ballads coming our way from this everyman troubadour.
UNSPECIFIED – CIRCA 1970: Photo of Jim Croce Photo by Michael Ochs Archives/Getty Images
I believe his looks had a lot to do with his popularity, too. He doubled down on his working-man persona by sporting curly, unkept hair, a big mustache that looked like it never saw a razor, work shirts, work boots and jeans. Tattoos rounded out the look — and tattoos were not a fashion statement for young people in the ‘70s like they are today. Tattoos were reserved for sailors, convicts and really bad dudes not yet convicted. The dichotomy is that he was none of these. He looked tough, but from all reports, he was a sweet, gentle, soft-spoken guy. As far as blue-collar rockers go, he was Bruce Springsteen before there was a Bruce Springsteen.
Ahh, but it wasn’t meant to be.
Jim Croce likely would have gone on to have a similar career to those of John Denver and James Taylor — long, popular, highly respected and very near to superstar quality. He would have been a staple on TV and most probably a talk show host.
His music was hard to categorize. It was part folk, part pop and part easy-listening, I suppose. He had a very distinctive voice that was (and still is) immediately recognizable, sometimes funny and self-effacing and other times sweet and gentle. He told evocative stories of everyday people because he was one of them. To this day, his songs remain on heavy rotation on certain Sirius XM channels. They frequently pop up in movies like “Django Unchained” and series like “Stranger Things.”
I was trying to think of an analogy that might drive home the tragedy most of us felt in 1973. The best I can come up with is this: Suppose a promising young artist named Taylor Swift, Justin Bieber or Ed Sheeran, who we were just becoming aware of and whose songs were funny and different and great, was suddenly killed in a plane crash. I imagine that would be like losing Jim Croce in the ‘70s. He was becoming that big.
But time goes on and Croce is largely forgotten now. For a few of us, though, he lives on. Meeting Jim’s widow and fellow musician Ingrid Croce, at her delightful Italian restaurant in San Diego (named Croce’s, of course) was one of the happiest days of my life. She was sweet and accommodating, but I couldn’t help wondering if she had secretly activated a panic button due to my exuberance at meeting her.
Catch the live show “50 Years Gone: A Tribute to Jim Croce” at 7:30 p.m. Dec. 2 at New Spire Arts. The performance is a musical tribute to the life and music of Jim Croce. Mike Schirf and Chris Masheck will take the stage and not only play all of Croce’s biggest hits but will also tell the great stories that Croce told during his all-too-short career.
Despite a pesky smattering of Nationals fans, Frederick is unquestionably Orioles territory. And like many of you, for better or worse, I’ve always had a love/hate relationship with the Orioles. Just like a wayward brother, I can’t stand them for a while, but as time goes by, I do care what becomes of them.
The O’s are playing surprisingly well this season, but even in the lean years, we still had that oasis of a ballpark to visit – Oriole Park at Camden Yards. That modern, yet retro-looking stadium in the heart of Baltimore with the iconic B&O warehouse as its backdrop started the baseball stadium building craze back in 1992. Since then, almost every major league team has either built a new park like OPACY or has made major renovations to their existing park to create a destination for fans.
While I’m not too interested in the success of any other major league team, I do very much enjoy visiting other major league ballparks. Unlike football stadiums (which are never called parks,) no two baseball parks are alike, not even the playing dimensions! Major League parks tend to be little cities unto themselves and a microcosm of humanity from all walks of life. In short, they are fascinating!
Think of a never-ending food court full of delicious food that is never good for you, a multi-level shopping mall, enormous escape room, rollicking music hall, a spacious outdoor lounge under the stars, helpful talk therapy session and expansive entertainment venue all rolled into one. And with more people-watching than even the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills could stand!
My fascination with ballparks goes back to my youth and the occasional family visit to a favorite uncle in Baltimore. Without fail, one of the highlights of these visits would be a trip over to old Memorial Stadium. I can still remember the first time I caught a glimpse of the greenest grass I had ever seen in that mammoth expanse of outfield as I ascended the escalator. Other perplexing and wondrous sights, sounds and (especially) smells awaited this rural, pre-teen kid who never dreamed he’d actually be in a place his heroes played and only occasionally saw on TV.
Comerica Park in Detroit, MI
Soon after college in 1980 I embarked on my professional career and was introduced to the glory and misery of corporate business travel to faraway cities. Thankfully, nearly all had major league baseball teams that were at home during my visits.
That’s when I began my lifelong hobby of collecting major league baseball stadiums. Not physically of course, although I do have many photos and souvenirs in my home, but as fond memories tucked away in the corners of my mind. To me, there is nothing better than getting off by myself in some faraway city to catch a game under the lights after a long day of dealing with demanding clients and irritable colleagues.
In August of this year, I finally finished up. I recently visited Dodger Stadium in Los Angeles and thus completed what I call my lifetime grand slam, visiting the home ballparks of all 30 major league teams. To be honest, I have not yet been to a couple of the newer stadiums, but I have been to all 30 major league cities and their home parks at the time, so I’m counting it!
To me, this was a great achievement. But I’ve come to learn it might not be so great after all and certainly not unique. Thousands of people have completed this quest. They are called “ball park chasers.” They even have a website: (ballparkchasers.com).
The world record is a breathtaking 30 parks in 24 days by a fellow named Chuck Booth in 2009. He had to do some East coast day/night doubleheaders to achieve that number. I’ll bet he’s also single.
He has my respect. I completed my lifetime quest just a few parks at a time. It was only after I retired a few years ago that I actually took what you might call a baseball trip—a grueling eight-day, six-ballpark drive around the Midwest to catch the “fly over” parks. My wife went with me. She may never be the same.
In the last couple of years, I’ve also scheduled mini vacations with pals to finish up cities I had somehow missed along the way. This included quick 2-day forays to Detroit, Denver, Arlington, TX, and Los Angeles.
Busch Stadium in St. Louis
Before I give you my Top 10 list, let’s get one thing out of the way: I didn’t really like the two oldest parks and the most storied one. Sacrilegious? Maybe, but that’s how I feel. Despite improvements made along the way, Fenway Park (1912) in Boston and Wrigley Field (1914) in Chicago, feel their ages. The seats are small and sometimes not positioned correctly. Concourses tend to be narrow and the fan bases can be, shall we say, overly exuberant. One of Wrigley Field’s concourses even sits underground, which gave me a feeling of claustrophobia.
Yankee Stadium in New York has a corporate feel to it. It’s hard to explain. It’s like they tried too hard to mimic old Yankee Stadium in every way. Lines are long and the food is very expensive. Unfortunately, the fan base takes obnoxiousness to a whole new level making the game-day experience for visitors and families poor at best.
Gary Bennett at Globe Life Field in Arlington, Texas
MY TOP TEN BALLPARKS
10. Target Field – Minneapolis, MN – Minnesota Twins The park is downtown with a terrific cityscape. I loved the statues of Twins’ greats on the concourses and the big sign in center field featuring their original logo: one player representing Minneapolis, the other representing St. Paul, shaking hands over the Mississippi River. Wonderful!
9. American Family Field – Milwaukee, WI – Milwaukee Brewers This park has a cool roof, brats, and Bernie Brewer coming down a slide when a home run is hit. Unfortunately, the park is not in downtown or it would be higher on my list. The very best part: The crowd exuberantly singing “Roll Out the Barrell” complete with accordion accompaniment during the seventh inning stretch!
8. Coors Field – Denver, CO – Colorado Rockies This park is one of the best with stunning views of the Rocky Mountains and a great, natural park-like feature inside the stadium that includes trees and a stream. Even in mid-July the air is so fresh and clean that you hate to leave.
Coors Field in Denver
7. T-Mobile Park – Seattle WA – Seattle Mariners The site of this year’s All-Star Game is tucked in next to the city’s football stadium and a train depot and has an operating train within the park. It’s a downtown park with great views of Puget Sound. It has what looks like a giant umbrella atop the park. That gives it an open-air feel even when the roof is closed.
6. Busch Stadium – St. Louis, MO – St. Louis Cardinals This park features the very best cityscape in all of baseball. You just can’t beat the view of the gateway arch and the feeling of smallness you get when you gaze upon it during the game. This park does a wonderful job of depicting its abundant history, too. Cardinals’ games are always sold out so the energy in the stadium is amazing, but it can feel crowded.
5. Petco Park – San Diego, CA – San Diego Padres A beautiful park in the heart of San Diego’s Gaslamp district. The cityscape is just about unmatched. The incorporation of the iron company façade in left field, which the park was built around, was a master stroke that gives the park character. The park also has the major’s second-best steak sandwich, just after Philadelphia.
4. Dodger Stadium – Los Angeles, CA – Los Angeles Dodgers This is the third oldest park still operating (1962) but it doesn’t feel it. Overlooking the San Gabriel Mountains, it provides stunning views from all over the stadium. There’s sort of a coolness to being at a Dodger’s game that is palpable and unmatched anywhere else. The Dodger Dog really is the best in all the majors.
3. Oriole Park at Camden Yards – Baltimore, MD – Baltimore Orioles What can you say about my home park? It really is amazing. I made it to this gem of a stadium just a few weeks after the inaugural game and looked on approvingly at the warehouse, Utah Street, flag court, and Boog’s Barbeque. Simply mesmerizing! When the O’s are hot, there’s no better place to catch a game.
2. PNC Park – Pittsburgh, PA – Pittsburgh Pirates This park features a beautiful cityscape, but this one is notable for incorporating the Pirates’ gold and black colors on nearby bridges and buildings. It nestles up nicely against the Allegheny River. Since it is a relatively small stadium, all the seats are terrific. You almost feel a part of the action. It’s just a shame the Pirates have fallen on perpetual hard times. When they are good, the place really rocks.
1. Oracle Park – San Francisco, CA – San Francisco Giants For me, there is just no better place to catch a game than stunning Oracle Park. It is nestled up so close to McCovey Cove that home runs splash into the bay just about every game. The food is creative. The weather, perfect. It’s the best walk around the park of them all. Stadium is a pleasant, easy walk from downtown.
MY WORST FIVE STADIUMS
Tropicana Field – St. Petersburg, FL – Tampa Bay Rays Just a terrible place for a game. A non-retractable domed stadium, it is dark and dank and lacks any kind of energy from the sparse fans.
Ring Central Coliseum – Oakland, CA – Oakland A’s Just a horrible, mostly empty stadium set inexplicably in an industrial area. The seats are set much too far away from the field. No wonder the team is contemplating a move to Las Vegas.
Guaranteed Rate Field – Chicago, IL – Chicago White Sox Set in the southside of Chicago, the neighborhood is not the best and there’s not much to do after the game. The stadium has a steep design that makes you feel far away from the action.
Nationals Park – Washington, DC – Washington Nationals A big, impersonal park with no views of the monuments. What were they thinking? Unfortunately, the Nats lost their Senators history when the franchise relocated to Texas.
Angels Stadium – Anaheim, CA – Los Angeles Angels The stadium is not only in the middle of nowhere, but it takes forever in hellish LA traffic to get there. The boulder feature beyond the centerfield fence seems pointless and has nothing to do with LA.
MOST INTERESTING FOOD ITEMS (I’VE TRIED THEM ALL) Poutine – Toronto Blue Jays Dodger Dog – LA Dodgers BBQ Burger – Kansas City Royals Donut Burger – Philadelphia Philles Slider Dog w/Fruit Loops – Cleveland Guardians 4-Way Chili – Cincinnati Reds The Mega Slice – St. Louis Cardinals Prime Rib Sandwich – Houston Astros Fried Dough Sundae – Boston Red Sox Wisconsin Ultimate Cheese Fries – Milwaukee Brewers Pierogi/Kielbasa Cone – Pittsburgh Pirates 18-Inch Hotdog – Arizona Diamondbacks Crab Cakes/Boog’s BBQ – Baltimore Orioles Peanut Butter & Bacon Sandwich – Minnesota Twins Triple Threat Pork Sandwich – San Diego Padres
Ellen Bennett at Kaufmann Stadium in Kansas City, MO.
CHRONOLOGICAL LIST OF MY TRAVELS TO THE PARKS
8/16/67 – Memorial Stadium – Baltimore, MD New York Yankees vs. Baltimore Orioles It took forever to wind our way through Baltimore to get to this mammoth monument to World War II. I made about 25 other trips to this stadium including the final game played there on October 6, 1991.
5/1/78 – Three Rivers Stadium – Pittsburgh, PA San Diego Padres vs. Pittsburgh Pirates The game is memorable for being a fun boy’s trip near the end of the college year and the Iron City beer vendor yelling “Willie Stargell dips his bat in it.”
4/18/92 – Oriole Park at Camden Yards – Baltimore, MD Detroit Tigers vs. Baltimore Orioles I still remember the pride I felt looking out at this glorious new ballpark. The B&O warehouse made it seem cozy. I’ve now been to this park about 50 times including the ’93 All-Star Game.
4/15/98 – Joe Robbie Stadium – Miami Gardens, FL Philadelphia Phillies vs. Florida Marlins I was attending a conference in Hollywood, FL, so I drove over to this huge football stadium for a day game. It was orange, big and empty.
4/24/01 – Chase Field – Phoenix, AZ Florida Marlins vs. Arizona Diamondbacks I was in Phoenix for a national sales meeting. The stadium is right next to the basketball arena and in a very nice entertainment district. The outfield pool is nice, too.
6/9/04 – Anaheim Stadium (or ”The Big A”) – Anaheim, CA Milwaukee Brewers vs. Anaheim Angels This trip is memorable because my then 14-year old son and I drove down from Disneyland to attend a game. Stadium is in the middle of nowhere and only so-so.
6/18/05 – Tropicana Field – St. Petersburg, FL St. Louis Cardinals vs. Tampa Bay Devil Rays (now Rays) I’ve been to this stadium several times since my wife and I like to vacation in Sarasota about 40 miles away. Terrible stadium. The dome appears oddly tilted from the outside and it famously leaks.
10/6/05 – Turner Field – Atlanta, GA Houston Astros vs. Atlanta Braves Memorable, because it was a playoff game, which shows how easy it is to buy one seat at any park at any time. I was in town to visit a vendor. I don’t like the tomahawk chop.
5/20/07 – Wrigley Field – Chicago, IL Chicago White Sox vs. Chicago Cubs I was in town working at a large medical conference when I got a ticket to this cross-town rivalry game in the major’s second-oldest ballpark.
5/4/08 – Guaranteed Rate Field – Chicago, IL Anaheim Angels vs. Chicago White Sox This visit was part of our 25th wedding anniversary getaway. (Not one of my finest moments.) Stadium is on the south side, and yes, it really is the baddest part of town.
7/19/09 – New Yankee Stadium – Bronx, NY Detroit Tigers vs. New York Yankees This game is memorable because it was the centerpiece of an epic baseball weekend with my then 19-year-old son. We also visited Cooperstown, New York, home of the baseball Hall of Fame.
6/23/10 – Citi Field – Queens, NY Detroit Tigers vs. New York Mets I was in Manhattan for a conference so rode the subway over for a game. I was pleasantly surprised. The stadium does a nice job representing its considerable history. The arches are nice, too.
9/9/10 – Rogers Centre (originally Skydome) – Toronto, Ontario Texas Rangers vs. Toronto Blue Jays I was in town exhibiting at a convention. The stadium is kind of bland inside but is situated in downtown with a great view of CN Tower. The singing of “Oh Canada” is stirring!
4/14/12 – T-Mobile Park – Seattle, WA Oakland A’s vs. Seattle Mariners I attended this game with a work colleague while at a conference in Seattle. A gorgeous stadium with retractable roof and wonderful food.
5/22/13 – Fenway Park – Boston, MA Cleveland Indians vs. Boston Red Sox I was in town for a business meeting so of course I had to make the pilgrimage over to the oldest major league ballpark. The Green Monster wall in left field is the most interesting quirk in modern baseball and the “Sweet Caroline” singalong is awesome in person!
6/23/14 – Citizens Bank Park – Philadelphia, PA Miami Marlins vs. Philadelphia Phillies Not sure why it took me so long to get up to Philly. This is a very nice park but in a rough part of town. I love the Liberty Bell replica in centerfield… and, of course, the cheesesteaks.
8/16/14 – Oakland Alameda Coliseum (now Ring Central Coliseum) – Oakland, CA Tampa Bay Devil Rays vs. Oakland A’s I drove down from a business trip in Medford, Oregon. This game is only memorable because I missed my return flight to Baltimore because of it.
5/6/15 – Oracle Park – San Francisco, CA San Diego Padres vs. San Francisco Giants I was in town for a conference and brought my wife along for a day game. Aha, I found it! The best park in the land. I could definitely live here and still make use of my O’s orange and black regalia.
8/16/16 – Nationals Park – Washington, DC Baltimore Orioles vs. Washington Nationals This game is memorable because I walked over from my office in D.C. to meet my 26-year-old son for an O’s game. I distinctly remember the O’s winning 10-8 and him outdrinking me 3-2. Or, was it the other way around?
5/18/17 – Minute Maid Park – Houston, TX Cleveland Indians vs. Houston Astros My wife and I drove to Houston from San Antonio where I was attending a conference. The stadium is quirky and fun. It features a very short porch in left field and an actual incline in centerfield, now (thankfully) removed.
5/10/18 – Petco Park, San Diego, CA Texas Rangers vs. San Diego Padres I’ve been to this stadium a few times since San Diego is a popular convention destination. Loved it every time! One of the best. Could live here, too.
7/20/19 – PNC Park – Pittsburgh, PA Philadelphia Phillies vs. Pittsburgh Pirates One of the few times I visited this city just for a game. I remember it was extremely hot throughout the game, but that didn’t dim my appreciation for this beautiful park.
7/21/21 – Great American Ballpark – Cincinnati, OH New York Mets vs. Cincinnati Reds This was the first game of a summer Midwest swing. Six cities in eight days. Best part of this stadium is its location: snuggled right up against the Ohio River. The famous 3- and 4-way chili is nice, too.
7/22/21 – Busch Stadium – St. Louis, MO New York Mets vs. St. Louis Cardinals Game two of our Midwest swing. It was a scorcher of a day, but this beautiful stadium with the gateway arch standing guard beyond the stadium was well worth the visit.
7/23/21 – Kaufmann Stadium, Kansas City, MO Detroit Tigers vs. Kansas City Royals Game three of our Midwest swing. The park is undeniably beautiful especially with the iconic water fountains ringing the outfield and spouting almost continuously. But it is way out of town.
7/24/21 – Target Field – Minneapolis, MN Los Angeles Angels vs. Minnesota Twins Game four of our Midwest swing. Love the statues, walkways and summer weather.
7/25/21 – American Family Field – Milwaukee, WI Chicago White Sox vs. Milwaukee Brewers Game five of our Midwest swing. Love the roof, beer selection, Bernie Brewer and brats. Only downside is the park is well outside of town.
7/27/21 – Progressive Field – Cleveland, OH St. Louis Cardinals vs. Cleveland Guardians The final leg of our 2021 Midwest swing. This downtown stadium features an attractive light coloring on the outside and outstanding city views on the inside. It even features Flo of Progressive Insurance fame.
5/13&5/14/22 – Comerica Park – Detroit, MI Baltimore Orioles vs. Detroit Tigers This was a buddy’s weekend trip to see our beloved Orioles and to help complete this city. The park is OK, but nothing special. The best feature is the roaring Tiger when the home team does something good.
7/16/22 – Coors Field – Denver, CO Pittsburgh Pirates vs. Colorado Rockies This was another buddy’s trip to see our second favorite team and to complete another missed city. Love the mountain views and cool, crisp mile-high air.
4/3/23 – Globe Life Field – Arlington, TX Baltimore Orioles vs. Texas Rangers This was yet another buddy’s outing to see the O’s and mark off another city. (I have a very understanding wife.) Stadium is odd because they built it next door to the old stadium, which is still standing and in use by a college team.
8/19/23 – Dodger Stadium – Los Angeles, CA Miami Marlins vs. Los Angeles Dodgers My final stadium! My wife and I took a whirlwind weekend trip to finish up my baseball stadium quest. Beautiful, mature stadium with great mountain views. They even gave me a certificate!
HOW PARKS ARE NAMED
Team name: 5 Oriole Park, Yankee Stadium, Angels Stadium, Nationals Park, Dodger Stadium Owner’s name: 5 Rogers Center, Kauffman Stadium, Turner Field, Joe Robbie Stadium, Busch Stadium Insurance Companies: 5 Progressive Field, Guaranteed Rate Field, Globe Life Field, Great American Ballpark, American Family Field Bank/Finance: 5 Comerica Park, Citizen’s Bank Park, Citi Field, PNC Park, Chase Field Food: 4 Tropicana Field, Minute Maid Park, Wrigley Field, Coors Field Locale: 3 Fenway Park, Camden Yards, Three Rivers Stadium Telecom: 3 T-Mobile Park, Ring Central Coliseum, Oracle Park Retail: 2 Target Field, Petco Park
Central Maryland is just a stone’s throw away from beaches, big cities, bucolic countryside, iconic rivers and trails, Revolutionary and Civil War history and, of course, the oldest mountains in America.
We are all trying hard to maneuver the hottest summer on record here in the lowlands, but like me, you might just be ready to plan your escape to the cooler climes of our nearby mountains.
The mountains of Western Maryland are easy to get to but small. The ones in West Virginia are larger and more rugged but too far away for a quick trip. Luckily, we have the Blue Ridge Mountains in Virginia right next door. Nothing says mountain retreat more to me than a weekend getaway to Shenandoah National Park in Virginia in the heart of the Blue Ridge.
Shenandoah National Park covers 311 square miles in Northen Virgina from Front Royal to Waynesboro, encompassing 196,000 acres of pristine wilderness. It was established in 1935 and designed for everyday Americans in their new-fangled motor cars to experience the allure and grandeur of the mountains. The peaks range from about 2,000 feet at the beginning and end of the park to 3,700 feet near the middle at aptly-named Skyland near Thorofare Mountain. Small, when compared to the Rocky Mountains, but much older.
Shenandoah is a long and relatively skinny park that boasts world-famous Skyline Drive. It is the focus and hopping off point for all the best park attractions. A national scenic byway, Skyline Drive is Shenandoah National Park for most people. It famously meanders back and forth across the tops of the peaks and runs right down the center of the park for over 100 miles.
Skyline Drive is famous for providing access to beautiful mountain vistas that would otherwise be unobtainable for most of us. You’ll want to take advantage of over 75 scenic overlooks with names like Gooney Run, Hogwallow Flats, Stoney Man, Hawksbill Gap and Naked Creek. You will be tempted to stop at each one to take in all the sights, sounds and fresh air. You’ll see the Shenandoah River and Shenandoah Valley to the west and the rolling hills of the Virginia piedmont to the east.
It will take you about three hours to leisurely cover the 100 plus miles from start to finish. But it is well worth it. You won’t feel a need to go any faster than the 35 mile-per-hour speed limit or honk at the motorist ahead of you as you roll along. I swear I can feel my blood pressure decreasing and sensory perception increasing every time I make this drive.
Shortly after entering the park in Front Royal, stop at Dickey Ridge Visitor Center to get your bearings and to pick up a few snacks. Next, take advantage of the many scenic overlooks I mentioned. A particular favorite of mine is Hogback Overlook, looking west to the valley and George Washington National Forest. If you’d like to stretch your legs, try Hawksbill Summit, which rewards you with a couple of hidden waterfalls and breathtaking peak that is easy to climb. Many Skyline Drive trails connect with the Appalachian Trail.
Please note there is a fee to enter the park whether you are staying or simply driving through. As of this writing, the fee for a private car is $30, which includes unlimited entry and exit for up to seven days. Throughout the year there are some free days. Consult https://www.goshenandoah.com/ for more information.
One of nearly 100 breathtaking overlooks on Skyline Drive.
Getting There:
It couldn’t be easier to get to Shenandoah National Park.
Simply drive west and then south on Route 340 right out of Frederick for about an hour and a half, covering about 70 miles to the doorstep of the park in Front Royal, Virginia. No other roads are necessary. Along the way, you’ll enjoy peaceful country scenery, plentiful farm stands and country stores, the charm of Charlestown, WV, and Winchester, VA, and more beautiful red maple trees and mountain laurel than you can count.
When to Go:
This is completely up to you because every season offers something spectacular. You simply can’t go wrong.
Spring comes late to this part of the country and a definite chill fills the air until late-May. It has been known to snow as late as early June.
Summer brings a shining clarity to all the deep greens in the ridges and hollows. Birds are nesting and seem to sing non-stop from early morning to early evening. Skies are clear blue with white puffy clouds seeping in around the peaks.
Autumn is prime time at Shenandoah National Park. A coolness and crispness fills the air. Brilliant fall colors seem to burst from the trees. Hikers abound. Birds are at their most active preparing for their southward migration.
Even winter offers a quiet snow-covered stillness that is hard to forget.
What to Do:
One can do very little at the park and feel completely content. Stop along the side of Skyline Drive at one of the many picnic areas and enjoy a quiet lunch. Curl up in your cabin with a favorite book. Snooze the day away at one of many comfy loungers available at camps and visitor’s center.
For the more adventurous among us you can hike on over 500 miles of trails including the Appalachian Trail, which cuts a large swath through the park.
Waterfall chasing and bird watching during the day and star gazing at night are two of the more popular activities.
I highly recommend taking in any programs the numerous park rangers offer. Their knowledge and love of the park is palpable, plus, they have all the best stories to tell.
At the two park resorts, Skyland and Big Meadows, you can take advantage of expertly prepared programs. Note that some are free when staying at the resorts and some require paying an extra fee. Again, consult https://www.goshenandoah.com/ for more information.
Some of our favorite activities besides hiking and finding hidden waterfalls include:
Map and compass navigation – guides take away your technology and you must fend for yourself. Don’t worry, you can do it.
Horseback riding – it’s about $60 for one hour at Skyland, but trust me, one hour will be enough time to see the sights from a whole new perspective.
Rock climbing – don’t worry, they have excursions (and rocks) appropriate for both novices and experts.
Basket-making – a local artisan will lead you in making your very own white oak basket.
The ever-popular whiskey and wine shuttle takes you down to the lowlands to relax, partake and listen to stories about the park along the way.
You are high enough to appreciate the clouds from their tops.
Where to Stay
Shenandoah National Park features varied lodging options sure to satisfy every taste – from back-country camping to city-slicker glamping. If you wish, you can pitch a tent in the back country or stay at a spacious, luxurious lodge at one of the two park resorts — Skyland or Big Meadows.
The park also has four main campgrounds that are operated by the National Park Service and are open spring through fall:
Mathews Arm Campground (at mile 22.2)
Big Meadows Campground (at mile 51)
Lewis Mountain Campground (at mile 57.2)
Loft Mountain Campground (at mile 79.5)
Skyland resort is about 41 miles into your trip on Skyline Drive and is located at the park’s highest peak, about 3,700 feet high.
Big Meadows resort is located just a few miles down the road from Skyland and is just a bit lower in elevation. It does feature beautiful Dark Hollows Falls and the handy Byrd Visitor Center.
Lodging at both resorts range from premium hotel-like rooms and suites to small, detached cabins. They even have pet friendly rooms.
Summer prices range from about $150 per night for a cabin with two double beds and very few amenities to about $400 a night for a preferred room with all the amenities you’d expect at a fine hotel. Seniors 62 and older receive a 10 percent discount. Military members and first responders also qualify for special rates. Prices go up a bit in the fall.
I recommend you go with a rustic cabin to get a better mountain retreat experience. Some rooms have TVs and some don’t. Ditch the TV and other technology and instead play a board game to pass the evening, at least until it’s time to star gaze.
Of course, you’ll want a fireplace, especially in the spring or fall. There is nothing better than collapsing into your comfy bed after a day of hiking and starting a cozy fire in your very own fireplace. Unfortunately, in-room fireplaces are unavailable for the 2023 season due to an ongoing rehabilitation project.
The Appalachian Trail cuts a wide swath through the park.
What to Eat
Suffice it to say that you won’t go hungry at the four campgrounds, which are well supplied with nearby camp stores, or at the two resorts.
Skyland and Big Meadows feature several pleasing dining options.
Skyland’s Pollock Dining Room serves regional, flavorful specialties like wild game with wonderful views of the Shenandoah Valley. The spacious dining room is wood-paneled and smells amazing. And don’t miss out on the house specialty desert — Mile-High Blackberry Ice Cream Pie!
There’s also a Grab ‘n Go market and the Mountain Taproom for snacks, drinks and live entertainment in a casual setting.
At Big Meadows Lodge, Spottswood Dining Room guests can enjoy dishes like Roosevelt’s roasted or fried chicken (named after the president who dedicated the park) or the New Deal roast turkey plate. Outdoor patio seating is now available.
The New Market Taproom provides craft beer, local wines, snacks and live entertainment. Or, you can order lunch to go at the front desk.
As you drive along after your stay, whether it be north or south, several waysides will keep you well fed, gassed up and ready to buy souvenirs:
Elkswallow Wayside (at mile 24.)
Big Meadows Wayside (at mile 51)
Loft Mountain Wayside (at mile 79)
Sunset over the Shenandoah Valley and George Washington National Forest.
With all due respect to the “Best of Frederick” rankings put out by this newspaper and Frederick Magazine, they only list the top three ice cream shops in and around Frederick. With temperatures the way they are and ice cream as delicious as it is, that’s just not enough!
Therefore, I list for you below the top ten ice cream spots in and around Frederick city.
This is not just what I say, but also what hundreds of readers say. No, not my readers, but the readers of all media outlets I could find, both print and online, that rank Frederick’s ice cream offerings. My ranking below averages the rankings from all these sources: Frederick News-Post, Frederick Magazine, Trip Advisor, Yelp, Housewives of Frederick, and Frederick’s Child and adds in mine, too.
You may have your own favorite shop that is much closer to your own neighborhood. Nothing wrong with that. I have my neighborhood Bruster’s, which is great in a pinch. But if I’m out on the town or have a few hours to kill, you better believe I’m doing the mental calculations needed to ascertain the closeness and wonderfulness of my favorite ice cream shops.
Please note that I hold nothing against franchises, and I’m willing to also consider frozen custard and frozen yogurt. As for soft serve vs. regular ice cream, I’m a bit partial to regular but hold nothing against soft serve. You may feel differently on all counts.
I have visited all the shops in my top ten. Not all at one time, of course, but if I wanted to, Google Maps says I can do it in one hour and thirty-five minutes, not counting waiting time.
10. North Market Pop Shop – Ice cream plays second fiddle to the amazing pop selection here, but it is still very good.
9. Little Red Barn – Wonderful selection of ice cream served in a pretty, quaint, cozy shop in Jefferson.
8. Frederick Fudge and Ice Cream – A Frederick institution, but it sometimes can be an afterthought. Ice cream shares equal billing with fudge somehow.
7. Bruster’s – my neighborhood shop where everyone knows my name (not really.) Very nice butter pecan with large pecans.
6. Jimmie Cone – the sprinkles on their delicious soft serve cones are colorful and different but work perfectly.
5. Beef N Buns N Paradise – an old standby that screams “Frederick” and eating ice cream at the beach.
4. Hoffman Brothers – Owned by two young brothers. New in town but very good and worth a try. Terrific chocolate chip cookie dough.
3. South Mountain Creamery – very fresh with a nice sampler platter and perhaps the best ambiance of them all.
2. Rita’s – frozen custard so rich and creamy, you don’t lick, you bite it!
1. Rocky Point Creamery – astonishingly fresh, delicious, and with so many flavors. Wonderful cherry-vanilla ice cream. Worth the drive to Point of Rocks.
Honorable Mentions: Baskin-Robbins, Cold Stone Creamery, Dairy Queen, Gateway Candyland, Pizza and Pretzel Creations and Sweeties.
No information Available (if you are willing to provide samples so I can properly rank you, I am amenable): Glamourview Creamery – Walkersville, Happy Cow Creamery – Union Bridge, More Ice Cream – Middletown, Ripleigh’s Creamery – Emmitsburg, Sweet Babe’s Creamery – Urbana, and Woodbourne Creamery at Rock Hill Orchard – Mt.Airy.
Just like Las Vegas and Washington, D.C., Niagara Falls is pretty much a one industry town. But oh, what an industry!
It’s typical to think of Niagara Falls as quintessentially American—the one-time de facto destination for newlywed couples from all over America. And part of it is in America, but the main city of Niagara Falls is completely within Ontario, Canada, along with most of the actual falls, too. The Canadian Niagara Falls city is larger than you might expect with over 94,000 full-time residents, making it just a little larger than Frederick. Across the river, Niagara Falls, New York, is the little sister with a population of about 48,000,
When you saunter down just about any street in Niagara Falls, Ontario, as long as you’re headed downhill, you’ll eventually come upon “The Falls.” That’s what all the locals call it and what all the signs proclaim in caps.
The first glimpse is absolutely breathtaking.
Horseshoe Falls, Canada — the main part of Niagara Falls
The mist emanating from The Falls makes it difficult to see the bottom. The roar is deafening and the mist is omnipresent even relatively far away. The falling water provides a perpetual breeze, much like the ocean. Temperatures can be 10 degrees cooler than in the center of the city. The Falls have eaten away at the banks of the Niagara River to form a very wide, deep gorge.
You’ll be surprised that there are actually three falls within sight.
There is American Falls, the medium-sized one that features a rocky bottom, the smaller Bridal Veil Falls, so named because of what it sauggests, and the large, picturesque Horseshoe Falls, the one we see in our mind and the one perfectly shaped like a horseshoe. Horseshoe Falls is entirely within Canada. American and Bridal Veil Falls are on the American side. The Niagara River famously separates Canada and the U.S. at this point.
American Falls, New York, USA — part of Niagara Falls
It is estimated there are about 500 waterfalls in the world that are taller than Niagara Falls, but there is none that accounts for such a heavy volume of water. It is estimated that over 75,000 gallons of water head over the falls each second.
Niagara Falls was formed eons ago by the Niagara River cascading over very hard rock while perpetually eating away at the softer bedrock further downstream. The collision is so intense that an ever-growing gorge has been formed. Experts say that American Falls will lose its waterfall status and become just a series of rapids in the not-too-distant future.
And yes, many daredevils since the 1920s have attempted to ride over The Falls in barrels and other strange contraptions. Many have made it but some have died. This activity is now illegal in both counties. You might remember that Nic Wallenda had special permission to traverse The Falls by tightrope about a decade ago and made it. Thankfully.
Getting there
Getting to Niagara Falls is relatively easy. One can fly, of course. Niagara Falls International Airport features carriers such as Spirit and Allegiance leaving from Baltimore. Or, you can fly into Buffalo fairly inexpensively on many carriers, but then it is still a 30-minute ride to Niagara Falls.
I love road trips so I recommend driving to Niagara Falls.
From Frederick, it’s about 400 miles or a relatively short, scenic 6.5-hour drive mostly up Route 15 North past Gettysburg, Harrisburg and Williamsport, Pennsylvania, and on to Rochester, New York. Hang a left in Rochester on Route 90 and, before you know it, you’re driving past Buffalo to the Canadian border.
You will cross the aptly named Peace Bridge from the U.S. into Canada. No two countries share such a large, peaceful border. Have your passports ready. Agents are friendly but busy. They may ask you where you are from and where you are going. Practice this. Don’t do as I did and fumble over your words! They may also ask you to roll down your windows for a better look inside. Be ready for this, too. Don’t have all your windows going up and down at the same time like me. No doubt I was lucky to be admitted.
When we drove to The Falls in early June, it was off-season. I highly recommend this time of year or even a bit earlier. Lines are relatively short and hotel rooms are plentiful. Be ready for slow service, though. Going in the winter or fall affords the same advantages but the weather can be sketchy—think lake-effect snow. The Falls are undeniably beautiful in the winter too, since much of it freezes.
Things are expensive as in most resort towns, and you’ll be paying in Canadian dollars, which makes things seem even more expense. Be sure to use your credit or debit card to pay for everything. Let your bank figure out the exchange rate.
View from one of many nearby hotel rooms
What To Do
There are many things to keep you occupied at The Falls other than staring in awe at the cascading water. But don’t worry, the attractions are not as kitschy as you might expect, only pleasingly so.
There are two sides to The Falls – the American and Canadian. The American side, somehow, has remained mostly under-developed and natural. There are some exceptions, of course. The Canadian side, however, is where you’ll find most of the action.
The city has done a wonderful job of making The Falls area quite pedestrian friendly. There is the requisite visitor center on one end near Horseshoe Falls — complete with movie theater, restaurant, overlook vantage points, a restaurant, and shops – and the entrance to scenic tours and the province (not state) park near American Falls at the other end.
I highly recommend a trip on the Maid of the Mist on the American side or its counterpart, the Hornblower, on the Canadian. These boats will cruise you past American and Bridal Veil Falls and right up to the mouth of Horseshoe Falls. They leave every 30 minutes.
Full disclosure: you will get drenched from the heavy mist near the base of The Falls, but you’ll love every minute of it! Besides, you will be outfitted with a handsome, complimentary slicker before departing. The trip out and back to Horseshoe Falls takes only about 20 minutes since you depart within eyesight of The Falls. The trip costs about $28 Canadian for adults and $16 Canadian for kids. Children under five are free.
Another worthwhile endeavor is “Journey Behind the Falls.” It is well named. You descend by elevator several stories below the welcome center and make your way through a manmade tunnel to two viewpoints behind The Falls and to an observation deck beside the base of The Falls.
View from base of The Falls
Be forewarned that if you are claustrophobic, you will not like the long walk in the tunnels. I preferred the view below and beside The Falls on the observation deck to suitably represent its sheer power and magnitude. The view behind The Falls at the two 50-foot cut out portals reminded me more of looking out the window on a very stormy day. There was not too much you could see. Journey Behind the Falls costs $24 Canadian for adults and $16 Canadian for kids.
From just about any hotel room near The Falls you can enjoy the nightly illumination in multi colors at dusk and fireworks at 10 pm. This was a highlight of our trip. It is striking to see so much color and power at the same time. And it was free!
One thing I wish I had done is visit The Falls overnight. Horseshoe Falls reportedly becomes a dribble from midnight to about 5 am due to the diversion of the rushing water to nearby electricity-generating power plants.
A few new and expensive attractions have been added in the last several years.
There is now a zip line that hurtles passengers on a ride of about a quarter of a mile beside The Falls. It was entertaining listening to the shrieks of the passengers as they glided by. Cost: about $70 Canadian per person.
Skylon Tower is a 520-foot tower you can ascend by elevator for an unparalleled view. At the top you can enjoy a rotating restaurant. And yes, try the poutine. Cost: about $55 Canadian per person but if you eat at the restaurant, it is free.
Falls View Casino sits right beside The Falls gorge and offers all you would expect from a casino. And like many resort towns, Niagara Falls also has a large Ferris wheel or “eye” to ride and view The Falls.
Finally, I recommend taking a side trip to the town of Niagara on the Lake during your stay in Canada. It is a pleasant 20-minute drive north to Lake Ontario and this pretty little town of about 20,000. There, you’ll find quaint shops and eateries, numerous wineries, clean streets, manicured parks, friendly people and beautiful, colorful flowers planted all around town.
Be careful! You can stand mere feet away from impending doom.
“You do want sweet tea, right sugah?” the slightly overweight, middle-aged waitress drawled as I sunk into my comfy booth at Stuckey’s just off Interstate 59 in southern Alabama. “Oh yes, sweet tea would be great”, I said, as she scribbled in het ticket book. “That’s a good thing, sugah,” Doris said, “because you’re in the South now and that’s all we got.” I overlooked the logic of that statement much as you would overlook your mom asking you to wear clean shorts in the car because you never know when you’ll be in an accident. It might not make sense, but she means well.
Ah yes, Doris’s sweetness reminded me there’s nothing
like a good road trip.
Once the bastion of the middle class, Americans of all stripes are now loading up the family car for getaways far and wide. According to U.S. Travel Association, Americans logged 1.8 billion person‐trips of 50 miles a more with an overnight stay for leisure purposes in 2018. That means that, on average, every man, woman, and child in the U.S. took five such leisure trips in 2018.
There used to be a bit of a stigma attached to
traveling long distances by car, especially if you fancied yourself upwardly
mobile with a little bit of money in the bank and are traveling more than a few
hundred miles. After all, why wouldn’t you fly?
Saves a lot of time, right? Well,
sort of. More on that in a minute. Kind
of glamorous, right? Uh, no.
I’m sorry to confirm what you already know in your heart about air travel: there is nothing glamorous about it, and it comes with monumental downsides. First, there’s the expense. Second, the inconvenience. Third, the angst of finding the best deal. Then throw in all the idle time waiting in lines, constant delays, surly agents, glum and germy strangers, crowded conditions, random cancellations, weather problems, terrorist threats, seats designed by Marquis de Sade worshipers, bad food, and nothing being in control, and I’m not sure why anyone flies who doesn’t have to. As for saving time, once you factor in getting to the airport, all the waiting and delays, transfers, and getting a rental car and driving to your final destination, the time savings gap closes up faster than a liquor store on Christmas Eve.
I’m here to witness that if God intended us to fly everywhere, he wouldn’t have created the magnificent U.S. Interstate Highway System, or more precisely, provided the wherewithal for humans to create it. Our interstate system efficiently gets us into every nook and cranny of our great country with very little planning needed. It puts a map of the human body’s circulation system to shame.
If you have the notion and time, you can start off early tomorrow morning from Frederick and be in sunny Tampa, Florida, by night fall. I’ve done that myself many times. Our country is just the right size for such escapades – neither too large nor too small. I envy all those adventurous souls who claim to have driven coast to coast. That’s not such a big deal in, say, Croatia.
My wife Ellen and I wanted to do something special for New Year’s Eve last year, so we made plans to drive 2,200 miles round-trip from Frederick to New Orleans. What better place to solemnly celebrate the beginning of the new year than New Orleans, right?
We could have flown, sure, but didn’t even consider it. Okay, I’m sure Ellen did. After all, I’m not the world’s best driver, as she will attest. But in my defense, I am cheerful and quite enthusiastic. The call of the open road and chance for adventure is just too great for me to pass up. And to my wife’s lasting credit, she is usually willing to overlook the small stuff with me, much as you would a child.
Now, you can’t just head off without a plan. I have several “rules of the road” that I’ve found are necessary in order to make the most of one’s road trip and to bring order to what can be a chaotic endeavor. I am happy to share them here.
My first driving rule is fairly minor but unassailable: the driver controls the music. This may seem unfair (and maybe it is because I drive most of the way) but consider the fact that I, like many drivers, depend on pounding rock music to help propel me down the road. If this were not so, there would be no such things as road trip songs. Further, I believe it has been scientifically proven the nerves in our ears are directly connected to our gas pedal foot.
Why, Sirius XM even has a channel devoted to road trip music. All-time favorites like Steppenwolf’s Born to be Wild and Magic Carpet Ride and Bruce Springsteen’s Born to Run are guaranteed to keep you moving along at a clip just under speeding ticket level. It helps that my wife enjoys the same music I do. I think. Anyway, I’m not a total despot. All Ellen has to do is start bobbing away to a song she likes and I will immediately vacate my rule on a temporary basis and stick with that song for the duration. Bruce Hornsby songs, inexplicably, are a particular favorite of hers.
My second driving rule allows the passenger to control the in-car temperature and to decide when and where to stop. Unless a really good song comes on.
Pike’s Peak, Colorado
You may think that driving long distances is excruciatingly boring. Hah! (I mean, yes, you’re right – please stay off the roads.) But, my third driving rule helps overcome the boredom: You must always consider the people who live and work in the towns and cities you pass by and get to know a few. How do they live? What do they care about?
Fortunately, the need for gas, food, and shall we say “rest” provide ample opportunity to converse with the locals. That’s how I’ve made so many temporary friends over the years – mostly waitresses, convenience store clerks, and the occasional police officer – who are happy to share how they live, work, and what’s going on in town that week.
Take Crystal, our waitress at a New York-style deli in Roanoke, Virginia.
Imagine my surprise when I walked up to the cash register to pay our lunch bill with my credit card, as I always do, but was matter-of-factly informed by Crystal, “We don’t take credit cards—work of the devil. Cash or check only, sweetie.” She displayed no hint of sorrow or embarrassment and was more than happy to point me to the bar next door to access an ATM. “Happens every day,” she sighed while directing me outside. I think the irony was lost on her that she was sending me to a bar to avoid the hellfire of credit, but it wasn’t my job to point that out. I could have just left without paying, but flustered, I left her my credit card anyway to ensure my return.
Crystal was such a trusting soul, she seemed surprised I would do such a thing. But I wasn’t surprised. I’ve always found people in the South to be more trusting than their Northern counterparts. Maybe it’s the slower pace of life or maybe it’s because they are so nice. You’d feel really bad if you cross them, so you don’t.
My fourth driving rule is to always allow enough time to see a few local landmarks along the way. I’m a sucker for these. My two favorite landmarks on this particular trip were the Chattanooga Choo Choo in well, Chattanooga, Tennessee, and Main Street in the sister cities of Bristol, Tennessee and Bristol, Virginia.
In the case of the sisters, not only are they two next-door cities with coincidentally the same name, but you can stand on Main Street and straddle two states at once! I took advantage of this opportunity, of course. Since I’m 6’2” with long legs, I was able to stand with one foot in Tennessee and one in Virginia. People must do this all the time, so I didn’t feel bad about briefly stopping traffic.
Still, as nice as Southerners typically are, some grew impatient and blew their horns. This attracted the attention of a stern-looking deputy sheriff. When I saw him coming, I ran to the car. The deputy stopped to give me some good advice. “Son, you can’t block traffic like this. Pick one town or the other and get the hell on the sidewalk.”
Bemused, he told me about another place I could go. Literally, not figuratively. He must have researched this to help people like me. “You know, out West, there’s a place where four states come together – Utah, Colorado, New Mexico, and Arizona. They call it the Four Corners, and you can put your arms and legs in all four at once! And better yet, it’s out in the middle of nowhere and far away from here.”
I got the feeling he had imparted this wisdom before.
My fifth driving rule is to always make a bad joke to a total stranger when you can. Makes time go faster. In Chattanooga I stopped at a 7-11 to ask the nice attendant where I could find the famous Chattanooga Choo Choo. On the way in, we saw signs promising it was close by. The attendant, Sidney, seemed ready and willing to help because he’d obviously been asked this question before. But as luck would have it, I had already spotted a cat lounging in the sun on the front sidewalk, and I was ready.
I strolled up to Sidney, pointed, and musically asked “Pardon me, sir, is that the cat that chewed my shoe shoe?”
I laughed loudly. My wife rolled her eyes and moved slowly away. I was pleased with myself, nonetheless. Even though my singing of the old song was spot on, Sidney gave me that classical cocked head, furrowed eyebrow “what-are-you-talking-about” look. I suppose you have to be of a certain age to get that one, and he wasn’t and didn’t.
There was one sign on the way to New Orleans, though, that particularly caught my eye and rivaled any South of the Border sign. It nearly caused me to swerve onto the shoulder and back up a couple hundred feet to snap a picture. Sadly, I didn’t – Ellen has a better sense of road etiquette than me. Somewhere in rural Tennessee an official looking state-sanctioned sign warns: Rest Stop Ahead, No Oversize Loads
My final driving rule is to pay attention to the signs. You never know when you’ll be rewarded with a nugget of golden wisdom. Aliens landing on one of our interstate highways would surely think “Crazy Eddy” is a very important person and that a “Gentleman’s Lounge” is the seat of power.
I’ll be the first to admit, however, that the signs on the way to New Orleans pale in comparison to the signs on the way to Florida on I-95. Sure, there was “Stay Off Tracks—Trains” and ‘Get Lunch, Gas, and Worms Here” in rural Mississippi. But I-95 in South Carolina has the venerable tourist trap South of the Border. It is a tour de force of politically incorrect creative signage like “Roads’ Scholar,” “No Monkey Business, Joost Yankee Panky” and “Give Pedro the Business.” But the very best one features their intrepid mascot Pedro who assures us that “You’ve Never Sausage a Place; You’re Always a Weiner at Pedro’s” complete with an image of a very large pork product representing their iffy lunch offerings.
There was a sign on the way to New Orleans, though, that particularly caught my eye and rivaled any South of the Border sign. It nearly caused me to swerve onto the shoulder and back up a couple hundred feet to snap a picture. Sadly, I didn’t. Somewhere in rural Tennessee, an official looking state-sanctioned sign warns: Rest Stop Ahead, No Oversize Loads
Now maybe it is just the way my mind works, but that hardly seems fair when every other exit features a Cracker Barrell, Stuckey’s, or Hardees. Even though I did qualify to stop, I indignantly decided to pass this one by.
Coming of age in the ’70s, I am embarrassed to admit that the golden age of stoner movies was the ‘90s and early ‘00s. During this modern stone(d) age, they were at their haziest, giggliest, munchiest best.
I guess it figures. We boomers are seen as reliably uptight, spotlight-seeking, job-hogging leeches living high on the government dole. Fair enough. Maybe we thought we were cool back then, but obviously not cool enough to have really good stoner movies.
But we did have Cheech and Chong, the amiable Marx Brothers of weed. They were super-cool, barely able to function, and despite not caring about anything except the next buzz, things always seemed to turn out right for them. Yet, their seminal stoner movie, Up in Smoke (1978) appears only at number eight on my top ten list, not able to supplant any of the top stoner flicks of the ‘90s and ‘00s.
On the other hand, Gen X and Millennials, those turn of the century generations, are universally derided as trophy hoarding, video game playing, chicken nugget eating, mom’s basement living, job hopping, spoiled brats. So, is it any wonder that many of the most popular movies of the day would feature pot-smoking slackers? Of course not!
Of my top ten stoner flicks, only Up in Smoke, Fast Times at Ridgemont High (1982), and the granddaddy of them all, Reefer Madness (1936!) were released outside of this pineapple-y “golden” age of stoned-ness.
Even though pot smoking goes back as far as recoded history, it did not become a movement among youth in the U.S. until the jazz era of the ‘20s and ‘30s. Back then, marijuana was considered a dangerous substance, spurring law enforcement officials to push for its ban. Hence, the cautionary documentary-style movie Reefer Madness of 1936.
The counterculture hippies of the ‘60s embraced weed as never before, but it wasn’t until the ‘70s and Up in Smoke that marijuana begin to elbow its way into popular consciousness and Hollywood movies.
Don’t get me wrong. There are some movies like The Wizard of Oz that have nothing to do with marijuana (unless you think Dorothy was tripping instead of suffering from a bump on her head) but are just weird enough to be very entertaining when stoned. Just ask my late 1970s self.
But these movies – my top ten stoner flicks of all time – feature cooler than cool, don’t-give-a-damn characters. Reefer is at its chain smoking finest. It either serves as a central plot device for characters who win in spite of themselves or as an amusing distraction such as with Sean Penn’s classic character Jeff Spicoli in Fast Times at Ridgemont High.
Don’t agree with my list? Yeah man, well, it’s heavy, but, you know, it is what it is.
10. HALF-BAKED (1998) Dave Chapelle This Chapelle-written vehicle captures the whacky antics of stoned friends trying to help another stoned friend who got arrested for killing a police horse by feeding it junk food. Stoniest line: “Hey, I know this isn’t your responsibility, but mop up the rest of this sh#t and I’ll be right back.”
9. REEFER MADNESS (1936) Dave O’Brien, Dorothy Short, Lillian Miles Now days, this cautionary tale of the effects of drug use on America’s youth is hilarious for its earnestness. But not then. Plot focuses on innocent teens being drawn into a “reefer house” and committing a terrible crime while high. Stoniest line: “This, I understand, can be attributed to marijuana. It causes errors in time and space.”
8. UP IN SMOKE (1978) Cheech Marin, Tommy Chong This first studio film aimed at tokers was a runaway hit. Comedy duo Cheech and Chong played lovable stoners who take to the road for wild misadventures including crossing the border in a van made entirely of reefer. Stoniest line: “Man, if you had a second brain, man, it would die of loneliness.”
7. FRIDAY (1995) Ice Cube, Chis Tucker It’s the end of the week and Ice and Chris pass the time on the porch smoking up a heavy haze, philosophizing, avoiding Big Worm and watching the world go by. Stoniest line: “How in the hell did you get fired on your day off?”
6. HOW HIGH (2001) Method Man, Redman The two rap superstars bond after discovering a new crop of weed that makes them geniuses. They go to Harvard but must live by their wits when their stash runs out. Stoniest line: “How did I fail Women’s Studies? I love bitches!”
5. FAST TIMES AT RIDGEMONT HIGH (1982) Judge Reinhold, Jennifer Jason Leigh, Sean Penn, Phoebe Cates This one’s a bit of a stretch because it’s mostly a weed-less tale of teenage life in the California ‘burbs, but Sean Penn’s classic performance of perpetually stoned surfer dude, Jeff Spicoli, makes it more than worth watching as a stoner flick. Stoniest line: ““All I need are some tasty waves, a cool buzz and I’m fine,”
4. PINEAPPLE EXPRESS (2008) James Franco, Seth Rogan Two buddies get high on a rare type of grass – “pineapple express”, witness a murder and spend the rest of the movie trying to (hilariously) evade the bad guys. Stoniest line: “It’s, like, the rarest. It’s almost a shame to smoke it. It’s like killing a unicorn. With, like, a bomb.”
3. HAROLD AND KUMAR GO TO WHITE CASTLE (2004) John Cho, Kal Penn The two pals go on a totally baked quest for the perfect little burger. Along the way they ride a cheetah and meet up with a surprisingly crude Neil Patrick Harris. Stoniest line: “It’s a sausage fest in here, bro. Let’s get us some poontang, and then we’ll go to White Castle. . . . The ‘Doogie’ line always works on strippers!”
2. THE BIG LEBOWSKI (1998) Jeff Bridges, John Goodman, Julianne Moore, Steve Buscemi This comic masterpiece features an iconic performance by Jeff Bridges as the chill, bathrobe-wearing, “Dude.” When he’s not bowling, a soiled carpet throws him into seedy L.A. where he fits in well. Stoniest line: “I bowl. I drive around. [I have] the occasional acid flashback.”
1. DAZED AND CONFUSED (1993) Jason London, Mathew McConaughey This wonderful flick explores the last day of school in 1976 for a group of aimless Texas teens. Marijuana use is rife and plays a central role when the star quarterback bristles at the coach’s “no drugs” pledge. Stoniest line: “Behind every good man is a woman and that woman is Martha Washington, man, and every day George would come home and she’d have a big, fat bowl waiting for him.”
Honorable Mentions: Bill and Ted’s Excellent Adventure (2001), Clueless (1995), Easy Rider (1969), Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas (1998), Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back (2001), Superbad (2007), Super Troopers (2001), Ted (2012), This is the End (2013).
