Travel – Gary Bennett Publishing

Get (way) out of town for Valentine’s Day

By Gary Bennett

This article appears in the February 13, 2025, issue of Frederick News-Post’s “72 Hours” entertainment insert.

Folks, you don’t need to surprise your honey with a romantic trip to Paris, Venice or Rome for Valentine’s Day. Oh no, that’s too expensive anyway. Believe me, you’ll feel right at home at one of these romantic destinations I’ve carefully curated for you right here in the good old U.S.A.

When you arrive in one of these dreamy destinations, your significant other will be overcome with emotion. In fact, they won’t look at you the same way again. Plus, some of these towns are so inexpensive to visit, they will actually pay you to come!

I must warn you, though, not all of these towns are large enough to have a romantic bed and breakfast (or running water, for that matter.) But I can assure you, they all have “Welcome to” signs that will be just right for that selfie.

Please note that all these places are real! Only the descriptions have been changed to protect the town leaders and, of course, the innocent. Plus, the real descriptions are lame.

Accident, Maryland

A charming burg in nearby Garrett County. You may want to skip this one, though, if you don’t wish to have one of those kinds of romantic mishaps.

Bangor, Maine

Our northernmost destination (pronounced Bang-er) is snow covered at Valentine’s Day and action-oriented (I mean skiing! C’mon, get your mind out of the gutter!).

Boody, Illinois

This restful, bootylicious heartland community will make you feel like sitting down and taking a load off.

Butternuts, New York

This tiny upstate enclave is named after the tasty squash that is plentiful here (what did you think?). Be advised, you may come away from here with a new nickname, if you play your cards right.

Climax, Georgia

You’ll burst with excitement when visiting this small but satisfying Southern town.

Cockeysville, Maryland

A close-by Maryland destination that specializes in goofy little pet names. Your honey pie will love it!

Conception, Missouri

Like Accident, this one is not for the faint of heart. Skip this one if you’re not feeling lucky.

Conquest, New York

A delightful upstate borough perfect for the goal-oriented, won’t-take-no-for-an-answer folks. (You know who you are.)

Diamond, California

Now we’re talking. This one is for the big spenders among us, or at least folks who appreciate syrupy pop songs from a ‘70s icon.

Flowers, Mississippi

If you’re not ready for Diamond (and who is?), this is your next best bet.

French Lick, Indiana

Home of NBA legend Larry Bird. Townsfolk will be glad to show you around and provide an oral history.

Fertile, Minnesota

If you’re not going to Accident or Conception, I doubt you’ll go here. But I say take a chance! What could go wrong?

Heart Butte, Montana

I can see you snickering out there, but it’s pronounced Byute. You know, like a lovely, shapely mountain.

Heartwell, Nebraska

This destination sounds nice but I’m sorry to say it’s actually full of cardiologists. I include it here for the over-70 readers.

Hell, Michigan

This is the final, frozen-over destination for those love-on-the-rocks, can’t-be-saved relationships. Heck, you can even be mayor here for a day if you pay the price.

Honeyville, Utah

Take your honey to this little hamlet in the Mormon state. Be advised: If you’re not married, a church leader might harangue you about going back home.

Hooker, Oklahoma

Maybe not the best choice for a romantic weekend, but I say give it a try. Be sure to take advantage of the welcoming committee found on most street corners. Bring cash and low expectations.

Intercourse, Pennsylvania

Finally! Slip into the most famous romantic getaway on the list. And, because it’s positioned just up the road from us in Frederick, you’ll be thrust into a great time. Trust me.

Love, Arizona

This is what’s it’s all about, right?

Lovers Leap, Cumberland

This nearby attraction beckons lovers to show how much they really care. Perfect for the nothing-to-lose folks just a step ahead of an angry, shotgun-toting father.

Pee Pee Township, Ohio

If Cockeysville is just too cutesy for you, there’s always this surprisingly tiny community in Ohio that is folded into its southern region. Blink and you could miss it.

Romance, Arkansas

Be sure to visit the world’s largest thesaurus factory in this exciting, joyful, dreamy, starry-eyed, romantic village in the Ozarks.

Roses, Pennsylvania

This burg in the Keystone State is not far from Intercourse. Everyone knows it’s hard to visit Intercourse unless you do Roses first.

Rough and Ready, California

Named after California’s proud gold-mining past (sure it was), lovers here must be open-minded and up for just about anything.

Screamer, Alabama

An obvious choice for you overachievers. But unless you’ve been here before, you’ll marvel at how noisy this town can be, especially on Saturday nights.

Sweet Lips, Tennessee

If Butternuts is not your cup of tea, I wholeheartedly recommend Sweet Lips.

Surprise, New York

There are lots of Surprises in the U.S., but the one in New York was founded by the same folks who settled Conception, Missouri. They got out of there fast.

Truth or Consequences, New Mexico

You can’t get away with anything in this well-named community, so don’t even try.

Valentine, Indiana

Finally, a town worthy of this list that has gone terribly off the tracks. Fun fact: This town was just recently renamed from Greeting Card, Indiana, to honor the handsome agent on the television show “FBI.”

Weiner, Arkansas

Last but not least, this tiny town is pronounced the way you think, and they are damn proud of it. Home to world-famous Chihuahua races and snow birds from Pee Pee Township, Ohio.

Gary Bennett is a longtime Frederick resident who spends his time hiking, biking, volunteering and providing childcare for grandchildren. He is married and retired from his career as a nonprofit marketing executive.

Journey out to the Outer Banks

By Gary Bennett

The Wright Brothers National Memorial in Kill Devil Hills, NC.

This article appears in the January 9, 2025, issue of Frederick News-Post’s entertainment insert “72 Hours.”

My wife and I have been up and down the East Coast from Maine to Florida many times. We’ve enjoyed the Atlantic Ocean in Bar Harbor and Kennebunkport, both Ocean Cities (New Jersey and Maryland), Cape May, Virginia Beach, Myrtle Beach, Jacksonville, Miami Beach and Key West.

But, somehow along the way, we missed the Outer Banks of North Carolina.

We finally made it this past fall, and I’m so glad we did.

The Outer Banks (or OBX as signs and license plates proclaim everywhere) is well-known around Frederick. Many families tell stories of renting a house on this narrow sliver of land that spans about 200 miles of coastline, inviting the entire extended family to join them. I can only imagine what fun this must be.

The Outer Banks is an interesting name. It is a barrier island (or more correctly, a series of barrier islands) sitting in the Atlantic Ocean a few miles from the North Carolina mainland. On a map, it resembles a wayward violin string or a dog’s crooked hind leg. “Barrier” means that the islands will eventually surrender to the ocean, but hopefully not for millions of years.

The islands are separated from the mainland by sounds, which we don’t have here in Maryland. With exotic names like Albemarle, Currituck and Pamlico, these large bodies of water are bigger than a bay or river but not as big as a sea. This gives the islands a secluded feel. Also, there are only a few access points, which increases the feeling of seclusion. You can reach the Outer Banks by highway, of course, but other areas to the south can only be accessed by ferry or small plane.

Sunrise over the shores of Outer Banks, NC.

We arrived at Outer Banks via North Carolina Route 158, which winds its way down the coast from the Hampton Roads area of Virginia. We crossed over the Albemarle Sound and landed near the small village of Southern Shores. From there, it was just a short, pleasant ride to our hotel in Kill Devil Hills.

From Frederick, our drive totaled about 5 and a half hours, covering 320 miles. Overall, it was pleasant. It helps to leave on a Saturday morning if you can, thereby minimizing the traffic around D.C. and Richmond. Once you hang a right at Hampton Roads and head south, traffic thins out nicely.

The Outer Banks begin at Corolla, far to the north, and stretches down to Ocracoke to the south. We didn’t have time on this trip, but one can traverse the entire length of the Outer Banks on picturesque NC Highway 12 (or Beach Road, as the locals call it) and never be more than 3 miles from the ocean. At its narrowest, this spit of land is only 150 yards wide from ocean to sound.

The best-known OBX towns are mostly clustered near the center of the island and have perplexing names. Perhaps the most well-known is Nags Head. No one is certain, but one popular theory is the town got its name from pirates tying lanterns to the necks of horses, or “nags,” to trick ships loaded with booty to run aground.

Kill Devil Hills got its name, so the story goes, from rum, which had washed ashore from wrecked ships and was so strong, it could “kill” the devil.

Kitty Hawk’s name is not quite as interesting. It most likely derives from the Algonquin word “Chickahawk,” which means “a place to hunt geese.” The name first appeared on English maps in the 1700s. Kitty Hawk, of course, will be forever linked to the daring Wright Brothers and their ingenious flying contraption.

The Outer Banks is known for pristine but sometimes wild beaches, majestic sand dunes, wild horses and its many lighthouses. The central OBX beaches of Kitty Hawk, Kill Devil Hills and Nags Head each have their own distinctive personality but share pebbly, off-white sand, skinny shorelines, large oceanfront homes (including Millionaire’s Row), easy access, grassy barriers and numerous fishing piers.

Currituck Beach Lighthouse in Outer Banks, NC.

If it’s a boardwalk you’re looking for, we recommend the peaceful, winding one along Currituck Sound in the tiny village of Duck. The Duck Boardwalk encourages a leisurely pace and can be accessed from the town park and other locations throughout the village. It extends for over a mile and offers beautiful views, a variety of wildlife and some retail establishments and restaurants.

The stars of the show at OBX are, without a doubt, the rolling, majestic and seemingly never-ending sand dunes. Jockey’s Ridge State Park in Nags Head has the tallest active sand-dune system in the Eastern U.S., stretching up to 110 feet tall. The chain of dunes is protected by thick maritime forests and grasses. When we visited, families with young children were happily exploring the dunes on nearby trails.

Other must-sees when visiting OBX include the Cape Hatteras Lighthouse and National Seashore, Currituck Beach Lighthouse and Maritime Museum, Jennette’s Pier (home to an excellent science and educational center) and the Wright Brothers National Memorial.

The Wright Brothers National Memorial, inexplicably in Kill Devil Hills and not Kitty Hawk, includes a full-scale reproduction of the original plane that is not much bigger or sturdier than a hang glider, numerous exhibits, educational talks by docents, the 1902-‘03 camp buildings where the brothers performed their experiments, the carefully maintained 3,000-foot airstrip, a mesmerizing sculpture of the brothers and other helpers preparing for takeoff, the “First Flight” boulder marking the takeoff point of the three experimental flights and the dominating, 60-foot memorial to their achievements at the top of a huge sand dune.

One of the last remaining Ben Franklin stores is in OBX.

For food, Miller’s Seafood and Steakhouse in Kill Devil Hills serves breakfast, lunch and dinner, specializing in fresh seafood and aged steaks. For dinner, I tried the North Carolina sea scallops, which were seared and grilled to perfection, and my wife, Ellen, had the sesame-seared bourbon tuna. Both were excellent. The Miller family also owns the “American Pie” shop right next door that offers delicious homemade pies and ice cream.

For lunch, try Cosmo’s Pizza, the local, New York-style pizza shop. It sits unassumingly in a strip mall near Corolla, but the tasty food and friendly atmosphere make it worth the trip. Their red brick, wood-burning oven gives the place a warm, homey feel and provides a crispy, slightly burnt pizza crust that is so hard to find in Frederick.

We considered trying some North Carolina-style barbecue, but after learning the Eastern-style Carolina type is made using the “whole hog,” we demurred. Using the whole hog means the entire pig is barbecued, chopped up and mixed together. It is served with a vinegar-based sauce, also not one of my favorites. The locals claim that pork served this way is the most tender with a deliciously distinct flavor. I guess I’ll never know.

For shopping, I recommend four local favorites: The Cotton Gin, Farmer’s Daughter, Gray’s and Kitty Hawk Kites.

The Cotton Gin provides high-end shopping and seems to have something for everyone. True to its name, 100% cotton clothing dominates the offerings. This local landmark has been around nearly 100 years and is the go-to place for gifts and souvenirs.

Farmers Daughter (there is no apostrophe to be found) is the quintessential beach shop with 16 OBX locations. The Kill Devil Hills location we visited specializes in what they call “fish hippie apparel.” You’ll need to check that out to see for yourself.

Gray’s Outer Banks Lifestyle Clothing Company (its long, official name) in Kitty Hawk specializes in coastal, casual resort wear. As soon as you step inside, you’re greeted by local history and friendly faces.

To really get into that beach vibe and double down on the “first in flight” mojo, visit Kitty Hawk Kites in Duck. It is celebrating 50 years in business. The colorful kites and hang gliders appear ready to jump into the air at any moment.

Two locals favorites we couldn’t resist are Brew Thru, a drive through convenience store offering everything you need, including beer and wine, and one of the last remaining Ben Franklin stores left standing in the U.S.

Outer Banks, NC, is kn0wn for its huge sand dunes.

The former offers more than 100 brands of beers and wines you simply point to and pay for. That, my friends, is America at its best! The latter is a proud member of the five-and-dime retail empire that once numbered over 2,500 stores, mostly in smaller locales nationwide, but now are fewer than 250. According to the manager, the Nags Head Ben Franklin has stood the test of time by adapting to the needs of its customers. It has become an immaculately neat beach gift shop, but its proud history is front and center thanks to the gigantic, unmistakable, red Ben Franklin sign and the ocean-themed mural that adorns the facade of the building.

Driving in Frederick: It can be a jungle out there

By Gary Bennett

This article appears in the January 2024 edition of Frederick News-Post’s “Prime Time” magazine.

I see lots of bad driving out there. I’m sure you do, too. It must be human nature (or maybe pride) that fools us into believing that we are great drivers while everyone else is terrible.

If only this were true.

As senior drivers whose cognitive powers and reflexes are still in working order and who have a wealth of driving experience to rely upon, we have an opportunity, perhaps a duty, to set the tone on the road and drive by example. After all, we are among the safest drivers out there.

I provide below some tips for the road and some trouble spots in Frederick to avoid. Most, but not all, are in synch with the Maryland Driving Manual. I also take into consideration the realities of driving around a bustling, growing city.

But first, my credentials.

I am a driver in my 60s who has driven all around Frederick for 35 years now. Not only that, but for the past five years, I have driven around Frederick two or three days a week for six hours at a clip. That is a lot of concentrated driving. It’s is a big part of my part-time job I do in retirement. As such, I think I’m qualified to say this: Boy, have I seen it all!

I’ve been a licensed driver for about 50 years now. I’m not perfect. I had an accident years ago that totaled my car but no one else’s. It was caused by my own impatience in poor driving conditions. I’ve also had a few tickets along the way. But I think I’ve learned from my mistakes.

The three biggest culprits I see to safely traveling on Frederick roads are aggressive driving, distracted driving and, believe it or not, timid or unsure driving. This last one may seem counterintuitive, but many of you know exactly what I mean.

The first one is self-explanatory. We see aggressive driving all the time. It includes speeding, unsafe lane changes, purposely not using turn signals, tailgating, ignoring traffic signals, not yielding the right-of-way and, of course, horn blasting and hand gesturing. This causes terror for the rest of us and leads to most accidents.

The good news is that the rest of us can manage these drivers to some extent.

Do this: Give them plenty of space. Don’t compete and never engage with them. Keep in mind that aggressive driving will save them no time in the long run (and karma will get them eventually). Just pray they hurt no one along the way.

For your own part, leave yourself plenty of time before setting out for any destination so you have no reason to compete with an aggressive driver. Keep your mind on your own driving business so you don’t commit a driving error to enrage them more. If you can safely do so, report them.

Distracted driving has been well documented with the introduction of cell phones. One-third of all fatal accidents are caused by distracted driving. But distracted driving can also include eating, applying makeup, dealing with children and changing radio stations. Try to avoid all of these. Stay focused on the task at hand — arriving safely at your destination.

When encountering a distracted driver, give them plenty of space if you can, and remove yourself from their presence if you must. It does no good to honk or exhibit any aggressive driving tactics yourself to “teach them a lesson.”

Although not mentioned at all in the Maryland Driving Manual, timid/unsure driving may be the biggest culprit to getting around Frederick in a safe, timely manner. It includes driving too slowly overall, not merging into traffic quickly enough, making unsure, last-second turns and lane-changes, waiting too long at traffic lights, and stopping suddenly for no apparent reason.

Timid drivers endanger themselves and others because they are not “going with the flow.” This is a must in a busy city. Timid driving can also enrage those with aggressive driving tendencies.

If driving has become a frightening endeavor for you, it is best to ask for help or find other means of travel. If you are a new driver and are doing your best, make sure you have the “New Driver” sticker on your car so we can give you the benefit of the doubt.

Timid drivers need to realize they are as dangerous as aggressive drivers. My advice to them is be aware of the flow of traffic. Know when you are an impediment and take steps to minimize your effect. Practice driving to your destinations during off hours to where you must go so you can confidently go with the flow when it really counts.

A special discussion on turn signals is required.

The lack of turn signal usage — whether it is aggressively done on purpose, absentmindedly forgotten, its importance never learned, or if people simply don’t care — is a major contributor to unsafe driving conditions.

We must understand and accept that turn signals are a safety device that benefits all of us. They let other drivers know what our intentions are. We should all be maniacal about their use, even when seemingly not necessary. After all, who among us has never had a car quickly pull back into the right travel lane from a left-turn only lane they didn’t mean to be in? I’ll venture not many of us. Turn signal usage lets everyone know that you have given some thought to your intentions. Disappointingly, the Maryland Driving Manual hardly mentions turn signal usage. It deserves its own chapter.

Further, reject the notion that turn signals are somehow a sign of weakness. This is twisted thinking. One young driver told me people won’t let them merge anyway, so why ask? To him it is better and easier to simply “horn in.” If this is your mindset, try to get past it. Some drivers may prevent you from merging by speeding up, but it is just as sure that some kind soul will let you in eventually. Use that signal.

GENERAL ROAD TIPS

• Drive defensively and expect the unexpected. A wise instructor once told me to always look for your escape route ahead of time in case something bad happens around you.

• Avoid left turns in heavy traffic as much as possible. Around Frederick, that is a recipe for being rear-ended. If you must turn left, use that turn signal and use it early so those behind you have a chance to get around you.

• Get up to speed quickly when merging onto highways. That is what the ramp is for. Little is more aggravating than a slow driver putting everyone behind them in a dangerous, precarious position.

• On the flip side, slow down a bit on highways to let someone merge safely. No, you don’t have to, but it is the safer thing to do.

• Space is your friend. When getting on or off a highway, adjust your speed up or down slightly to fit into the biggest space between cars you can find. That calculation is well worth the trouble but must be made well before you try to execute it.

• Consider it your civic duty to start out right away when stopped at a red light when it turns, especially if you’re first in line. If you lag for any reason, someone behind you may be forced to sit through another cycle. There’s nothing much more aggravating.

• Know what lane you want before you need to be in it. Pull into that lane as soon as you can, even miles before you need to. We all know those folks who jump to the front of the line and then nose in without a signal. It is tantamount to butting in line and would not be tolerated in any other circumstance.

• Use any driving outing as a chance to work on your patience and kindness. Most of us need to do better in those categories anyway, so why not remind yourself of that as you head out?

• Don’t drive at all if something is within walking distance. This should be a no-brainer. It’s good for you and the environment. Plus, why not eliminate one more chance for a driving mistake from you or others?

• You may disagree, but I’ve watched this play out and considered it carefully: The zipper method is always best when an unexpected merge is happening because of a lane closure, even if it is visible ahead. No one should be penalized in this case. Use all the space we have afforded to us for as long as we can. That way, we can all keep up a reasonable speed. The alternative results in jerks and stops.

FREDERICK-SPECIFIC TIPS

• Avoid Route 15 across Frederick as much as possible but especially during the two rush hours. We all know this stretch needs to be three lanes instead of two, but it’s what we’ll have for the foreseeable future. Better to leave 15 for tourists and those passing through.

• Avoid Market Street in the morning when the food and beer trucks are making their deliveries. You don’t need to run this gauntlet if you don’t have to. Better to take the alleys and Court or Ice streets.

• Avoid Rosemont Avenue as much as possible. Those lanes are outrageously narrow in many places (with on-road storm drains that rattle my bones).

• When driving north on East Street to cross East Patrick Street to head toward Shab Row, remember you need to be in the right lane to go straight.

• When turning left from South Jefferson Street onto South Street at the light, get as far left in your lane as possible so cars going straight can pass you on the right. Use that turn signal.

• When heading west on the Golden Mile near the Route 15 underpass, try to avoid turning right onto Baughman’s Lane. The jockeying for position there with cars coming down the ramp from 15 and heading west on the Golden Mile is not for the faint of heart.

• Similarly, never try to merge onto 340 West from that tiny Himes Avenue exit ramp. You’ll almost always need to come to a dangerous complete stop to allow heavy through traffic to pass.

• When traveling toward downtown on South Jefferson Street at 7-11, you need to be in the right lane to go straight. Many of you stay in that left turn-only lane and merge right at the last second. That is not a zipper method situation.

• Be wary of the two lanes on Seventh Street heading east over Bentz Street. The right lane must turn right. The left lane can go straight or turn left. This is not well marked. Get in the correct lane long before you come to Bentz.

• When merging onto Ballenger Creek Pike from the Jefferson Street ramp, keep going in the right lane; don’t stop. Cars approaching this intersection from your left must stay in the left lane. I’ll admit this is counterintuitive and can be scary, but it is what’s intended. This one is not signed at all (and should be).

• Avoid the intersections of I-70 and I-270 as much as possible. Cars are going at interstate speeds in all directions and usually jockeying for position without using turn signals. Better to get on one of these interstates at a different Frederick intersection.

It’s Festival Season in Hardy County WV

By Gary Bennett

Late 18th century historical cabin that is open during Heritage Weekend in Mathias

This article appears in the Fall 2024 edition of Day Tripper Magazine.

If you long to be “far from the madding crowd,” as Thomas Hardy famously wrote, then Hardy County is the fall and winter destination for you. With just about 15,000 residents in the entire county, you’ll have plenty of room to stretch out and rediscover small-town America. And when you’re ready to mingle, check out these fall festivals.

Hardy County Heritage Weekend Festival

The Hardy County Tour & Craft Association sponsors this countywide festival, which will be held from Sept. 27 to 29. This celebration of the rich history and rural life of Hardy County showcases delectable foods, music and arts, craft shows, car shows, home tours, walking tours and Civil War encampments.

Now in its 71st year, the festival began as a way to raise funds for the public library, and Hardy County has continued that proud tradition. Each year, a historic home is chosen for immortality by placing its image on a decorative tile for display at the library. This year the honored home is the Lost River General Store.

The festival’s Americana-inspired house tour will include historic homes and buildings that represent an event in Hardy County history.

For more information on Hardy County’s Heritage Weekend Festival, visit heritageweekend.com or call 304-530-0280.

Pizza oven at Lost and Found Pizza in Mathias

Wardensville Fall Festival

Tucked away in the northeast corner of Hardy County, just 20 miles from Route 81 near Winchester, lies the charming village of Wardensville. Their fall festival will be held Oct. 11 to 13 and is set to feature more than 100 vendors, a parade, crafting demonstrations, artists painting, a car show, performances, bingo, fire truck rides, a cookout and the crowning of the parade marshalls. All proceeds benefit the Capon Valley Volunteer Fire Company.

For more information, call 304-874-3424.

Check out Visit Hardy’s website, visithardywv.com, throughout the fall for updates on other festivals that weren’t confirmed by press time, like the WV Turkey Festival & Pageant in Mathias.

Moorefield’s Holidays on Ice

In early December, you can enjoy the town of Moorefield’s Christmas Tree Lighting and Parade on Main Street, sponsored by the Moorefield Lions Club. Then, keep the fun going and strap on those ice skates at Moorefield’s Town Park for free ice skating.

Beginning around Thanksgiving, Moorefield’s “Holidays on Ice” highlights their cozy winter wonderland. Each weekend through early February, the town provides a new batch of activities to keep the holiday spirit alive. A concession stand run by a different community organization each week plies visitors with tasty hot dogs, pepperoni rolls, popcorn, desserts, and hot cocoa as patrons while away the hours on the ice.

Some skating sessions are geared toward teens with disc jockeys blasting out popular tunes, while others cater to the younger set with arts and crafts, such as make-your-own snowman or Christmas tree.

The Moorefield Town Park is at 220 Spring Ave. For more information, visit mfldparks@hardynet.com or call 304-530-6142.

The Maine Squeeze: A summer trip here is delightful

By Gary Bennett

Thus article appears in the September 5, 2024, issue of the Frederick News-Post’s “72 Hours” entertainment insert.

It was the beginning of summer here in the “land of pleasant living” in 2022, and the heat was already oppressive. My wife and I wanted to get away to somewhere with bright, 70-degree days and cool, 50-degree nights. In other words, we wanted a Maryland fall but with beaches and ocean.

We’ve tried the Shenandoah Valley and the Poconos. Both are great, of course, but can’t deliver on beaches and ocean. Ocean City has the beaches and ocean but not the weather (or slower pace) that we wanted. Enter our Maine discussion! We decided to spend a week exploring the state.

First, let’s get our bearings. Maine is the northeastern-most U.S. state and the largest (by far) but least populated of the New England states. Maine is well known for many things: its jagged, rocky coastline; sandy beaches like Old Orchard and Ogunquit; colorful maritime history; picturesque lighthouses; fresh, tasty lobsters; enormous moose; seemingly never-ending white pine trees; Mount Katahdin, one end of the Appalachian Trail; and untouched natural areas like Acadia National Park.

We went into this trip wondering why one of Maine’s nicknames is “vacationland,” but after a few days, we wondered no more. Spending a week in Maine was perhaps the most satisfying vacation we’ve taken. Everything was just so perfect: friendly people, charming accents, quirky places with Native American-inspired names, remarkably fresh food, breathtaking scenery and a satisfyingly slow pace of life.

Largest lobster in the world at Taste of Maine

We set off for Maine in our comfy SUV in June 2022, heading up the East Coast on I-95 to make good time. We had already booked two stops at cozy bed and breakfasts in Kennebunk and Bar Harbor. Since our first Maine stop, Kennebunk, is about 9 hours driving time from Frederick, we decided to stay overnight in New York City and take in a Broadway show. The next day, we got up early and headed north into coolers temps.

Driving close to the coast, we passed the heavily industrial Connecticut cities of Stamford, Bridgeport and New Haven, home to Yale University. Cruising into watery Rhode Island, we passed by the picturesque state capital of Providence. We carefully made our way around metropolitan Boston and up the coast of New Hampshire, where we finally started to see traffic and the pace of life slow. We departed I-95, no longer wishing to make time, in favor of Route 1 to take in the sights, sounds and scents of small-town life.

The drive through New Hampshire only takes about an hour before you arrive in Maine, perfectly nicknamed on welcome signs as the Pine Tree State.

In another 30 minutes, we were in Kennebunk. Be advised there’s also a Kennebunkport, right on the ocean, of course, and made famous during two presidencies as the summer home of the Bushes. All told, it was a relatively easy 5-hour drive from New York City to Kennebunk.

In Kennebunk, we stayed in a lovely bed and breakfast called The Tides, located right across from Goose Rocks Beach, which is technically part of Kennebunkport and one of the best sandy beaches you’ll find on the Maine coast. We enjoyed almost three miles of soft, white sandy beach that offered incredible views of the Atlantic and some small offshore islands. The tidal pools that form are also a hit during the summer, making a great place to float along in a natural lazy river. This beach is about as family-friendly as it gets in the state and is a favorite to spend time on during the warmer months.

Our three days in Kennebunk flew by as we enjoyed the beach, strolling the beautiful little village and eating at cozy restaurants. As you might imagine, we didn’t starve. We delighted in delicious lobster rolls, wonderful blueberry pancakes with fresh homemade maple syrup tapped from nearby trees and, surprisingly, Texas-sized steaks and fillets. We rented bikes for a lovely excursion up the beach and through neighboring villages, making sure to get back in time to take in a startlingly red “strawberry” moonrise over the ocean at dusk (we’d wondered why folks were traipsing over to the beach with their flashlights in hand).

In Old Orchard Beach, just up the road from Kennebunk, we spent a day at New England’s largest beachfront amusement park, Palace Playland. It was like taking a step back in time. At this family-owned attraction, we enjoyed the old wooden roller coasters, midway-style rides, water slides, carnival games and Maine’s largest arcade. Exhausted after a day in the bright sun cooled by ocean breezes, we decamped back to our friendly Kennebunk B&B to plan our morning departure to Bar Harbor and Acadia National Park.

On our way, we couldn’t help but stop at Taste of Maine restaurant in Woolwich, about an hour from Kennebunk. There, we found two of the world’s largest lobsters waiting for us. An inflatable lobster, measuring 70 feet long and 12 feet tall, greeted us from the roof. And the “world’s largest lobster roll,” at 2-feet long and packed with over a pound and half of lobster meat, greeted us inside. We didn’t partake, but the views from the back deck were so incredible, we lingered longer than we should have. This place is a must-visit when in the area.

Bar Harbor is about 3 hours northeast of Kennebunk and 2 hours from Woolwich. Sunrise in the summer is at about 4:45 a.m., which can take a little getting used to, but the air is so crisp and cool, you might not mind rising early.

Bar Harbor is a resort town of about 5,000 people that swells to many times that in the summer. Think Ocean City without the boardwalk or crowds. Still, it didn’t seem crowded there when we visited.

Bar Harbor is synonymous with great wealth. Many summer mansions dot the town, and numerous Rockefellers were born here.

We enjoyed strolling the quaint but hilly town while window shopping and reading menu boards, gazing out toward the Atlantic at the many little islands that seem to stand sentinel to the mainland, and walking across the bay. That’s right! Bar Harbor gets its name from a sand and gravel bar that is only visible at low tide, allowing tourists, day trippers, picnickers and hikers to wander about a mile across the bay to lovely Bar Island. It’s not often you get to explore the sea bottom, so we made that trip a few times.

Bar Harbor is also home to a large portion of Acadia National Park, which includes Cadillac Mountain, the highest point in Hancock County. It’s Maine’s only national park and, naturally, the easternmost in the U.S. We took a pleasant one-day excursion up Cadillac Mountain and enjoyed breathtaking views of the Atlantic, numerous tidal pools carved out among the granite rocks and impossibly green forests. A network of carriage roads — a gift from John D. Rockefeller — meanders throughout Acadia, making it easy to get around.

Don’t forget to try the Winter Harbor/Bar Harbor Ferry, one of the best boat tours in Maine. While technically a ferry that shuttles folks back and forth between Winter Harbor to the north and Bar Harbor, this ride on a converted lobster boat is also a scenic tour. For 45 minutes, you get a guided tour of Frenchman’s Bay and several of the islands and landmarks that occupy it between the two towns. Along the way, you’ll get an up-close look at the awesome cliffs of Ironbound Island, the Porcupine Islands, Winter Harbor Lighthouse and usually some wildlife — ocean sunfish, seals, porpoises, waterfowl and even the occasional whale.

There is so much we didn’t see during our weeklong visit to Maine that we can’t wait to go back. After all, Maine is a relatively large state and we stayed mostly “down east,” as the locals say.

Prepare to be spellbound if you take our suggestion and make Maine your next summer vacation destination.

The Drive-in life: Where to go for movies, popcorn …. and a dash of nostalgia

By Gary Bennett

Bengie’s Drive-In Theater in Middle River, just east of Baltimore.

This article appears in the July 25, 2024 edition of the Frederick News-Post’s “72 Hours” entertainment magazine.

There’s something so nostalgically American about drive-in theaters.

Where else can you enjoy the great outdoors from the comfort of your own car, balance the fun of socializing with the expectation of privacy, take the kids and go in your pajamas (if you want), and enjoy a good movie and the smell of popcorn and fries wafting through the air, too?

Then, too, there’s something magical about dusk in the summer. It is the perfect confluence of night and day and transition from hot to warm and work to play.

Who wants to come inside on a beautiful summer evening at dusk when the heat of the day is finally over? If you need a reason to stay outside at night, drive-in theaters are it!

At the drive-in at dusk, folks may be outside their cars, talking with friends or neighbors (or making new friends), getting food maybe playing with kids. Anticipation and wonderful aromas are in the air. Music is playing over loud speakers. A huge screen is standing sentinel over all the proceedings. A feeling of community and shared experience is evident.

Of course, we all know drive-in theaters have seen better days. According to the United Drive-In Theater Owners Association, only about 300 drive-in theaters still exist in the U.S. In their heyday in the late ‘50s, over 4,000 populated America, mostly in rural areas where land is cheaper.

The reasons for their decline are many, but chief among them is the sheer cost of land, which has skyrocketed in the U.S. It takes about 15 acres of land to park enough cars for economies of scale to kick in at a drive-in theater. Drive-in owners must own or lease all that land to comfortably park their patrons. Indoor multiplex owners don’t have to worry about their parking situation.

There is no doubt the land is typically more valuable than the theater business itself, making it ripe for selling off for housing, retail strips or office complexes. As car culture began to wane in the late ‘70s and ‘80s and as the middle-class decamped for a more suburban lifestyle of box stores and multiplexes, drive-in theaters became nearly extinct.

Drive-ins, too, tend to be owned by individuals as small businesses. When they want to retire, owners often find it difficult to find a buyer who wishes to continue in the theater business. It doesn’t help that indoor multiplexes are dominated by a few large, well-funded companies. Finally, movie watching tastes have changed, too, to more in-home viewing.

By the ‘90s when a nostalgia craze kicked in, new drive-in theaters began to be built. Today, the industry has stabilized and fewer are closing. Nevertheless, drive-ins must follow a difficult business model.

Drive-in theaters are like gas stations but without the support of a big parent company. Most of the price consumers pay for the main product (gas or a movie) goes back to the oil company — or movie studio. Owners are left to make most of their money through extras, like food. That is why outside food is either prohibited or severely limited at drive-in theaters today. “Car-load” prices are typically a thing of the past, too.

One would think that Southern states, with their warmer weather, would dominate the drive-in theater business since they can show movies year-round without the need for car owners to run their engines for heat. But that would be wrong. Large states with mostly pleasant year-round weather like California and Texas have only 13 drive-in theaters each. Florida only has four. It is New York, Pennsylvania and Ohio that have the most, with 28, 27 and 23 respectively.

Most experts credit this anomaly to cultural differences that encourage the handing down of businesses from generation to generation in “the rust belt.” The northern drive-in theater owners have also been creative in finding other uses for their theaters in the “off season,” such as holding car rallies, auctions or flea markets. Or, they run their movies year-round and promote the cozy feeling of drive-ins in the winter.

In Maryland, we only have one drive-in theater left to call our own: Bengie’s in Middle River, just east of Baltimore. It takes a little over an hour to get there. They bill themselves as having the largest outdoor screen in the U.S. They show first-run movies. Ticket prices are per-person and are similar to ticket prices at our local multiplexes. Outside food is limited.

Frederick’s last drive-in theater, The Family Drive-in (later named the Frederick Drive-in) on Jefferson Pike between Frederick and Jefferson, closed in 1982. Before that, we had the Braddock Drive-in, which was owned by the same person.

Frederick’s closest drive-in theater now is in Pennsylvania. Haar’s Drive-in Theater on Route 15 in Dillsburg (just north of Gettysburg) is a pleasant one-hour car ride from Frederick. They show first-run movies. Ticket prices are $10 per person with children under 5 admitted free. Outside food is prohibited.

In Virginia, the Family Drive-In Theater in Stephens City is about an hour and 15 minutes away. It is the closest of Virginia’s six drive-ins. Stephens City is just south of Winchester. They show first-run movies. Adult tickets are $12 and tickets for children ages 3 to 12 are $7.

COMING OF AGE AT THE DRIVE-IN

I didn’t know it at the time, but I had the good fortune to grow up right beside a drive-in theater in extremely rural Western Maryland. Later, it became my first employer. Unfortunately, the screen angled away from our house and toward the house on the other side of the drive-in.

Growing up, I knew the Hi-Rock Drive-in Theater near McCoole more as a daytime playground than a movie theater. Settling into bed at night, it was somehow soothing to hear the bustle of humanity as evidenced by the car horns honking for the next movie to start after intermission. Pleasant food aromas wafted into my bedroom window, too.

It was our closest “restaurant” — and one within easy walking distance. I vividly remember my dad sending me over to get tasty hot dogs just about every Saturday evening as we got ready to watch “Gunsmoke.” It was one of those strange family traditions that no one knew how began, but one we could never abandon. The kindly box office attendant always let me pass by with a promise that I would be right back with my family’s food order. Naturally, I got to sneak many peeks at the movies playing as I wandered over to the snack bar.

As I grew into my teen years, the drive-in became my place of employment. Good thing, too, because there wasn’t much else available in rural Allegany County, especially for teens. The county had three drive-ins up until about 1980: the Potomac in LaVale, the Super 51 just outside of Cumberland on Route 51, and “my drive-in,” as I like to call it, the Hi-Rock in McCoole, just over the state line from Keyser, West Virginia.

At the Hi-Rock, I sold tickets, worked in the concession stand and was even a “ramp boy,” the person who assisted any cars who had any problems, re-attached speakers that nearly left with patrons and chased down scofflaws who tried to enter the drive-in for free through the exit. I even picked up trash left on the ground after the movie.

I have many wonderful and funny drive-in stories that involve streaking; food fights; beer runs; naughty, cryptic messages broadcast over the PA system; cars with steamed-up windows that wouldn’t leave; and the requisite piling out of humanity from trunks.

It was clear, too, that my friends thought I had the very best high school job of anyone. I would have to agree. I even parlayed the part-time job into a full-time job managing an indoor movie theater during college.

A few drive-in movie theaters remain in the area and continue to bring a nostalgic feeling to movie-goers.

ENJOY A (RELATIVELY) NEARBY DRIVE-IN THEATER

Bengie’s Drive-In Theater
3417 Eastern Blvd., Middle River
Located in a suburb of Baltimore, Bengie’s has the largest movie screen remaining in the U.S.
410-687-5627
bengies.com
Opened: 1956

Family Drive-In Theatre
5890 Valley Pike, Stephens City, Va.
This family-owned business is one of the state’s few remaining drive-in theaters.
540-665-6982
thefamilydi.com
Opened: 1956

Haar’s Drive-In Theater
185 Logan Road, Dillsburg, Pa.
Haar’s has been in continuous operation for more than 70 years. It hosts auctions and concerts, too.
717-432-8246
haars.com
Opened: 1952

Cumberland Drive-In Theatre
3290 Ritner Hwy., Newville, Pa.
Located about an hour and a half from Frederick, it has been operated by the same family for more than 60 years.
717-776-5212
Opened: 1952

Starlight Cinema
5875 Trinity Pkwy, Centreville, Va.
This modern facility is about an hour and a half from Frederick and features family-friendly films, food and activities for kids.
703-324-8700
Opened: 2012

Twin Cities: a breath of fresh air

By Gary Bennett

The headwaters of the Mississippi River divide St. Paul and Minneapolis, MN

This article appears in the July 25, 2024 edition of the Frederick News-Post’s “72 Hours” entertainment magazine.

I’ve been to the Twin Cities of Minneapolis and St. Paul, Minnesota, on several occasions, for business and pleasure, and have been impressed each time.

For pleasure, it was summer baseball and an Eagles/Jimmy Buffet concert that landed me twice in the beautiful Target Field in Minneapolis. For business, it was the rare wintertime business conference that spanned locations in both cities.

You might be wondering why these cities have the nickname they do.

“Twin Cities” refers to the region’s two core cities of Minneapolis and St. Paul, which are about the same size and border each other on either side of the Mississippi River. They share many of the same political, educational and cultural institutions. St. Paul is the state capitol, as well as the political and architectural center, while Minneapolis is the cultural and business center.

The two cities revel in the fact that they share the headwaters of the Mississippi River. If you’ve ever been to New Orleans and seen the wide expanse of the mighty river as it meanders to the Gulf of Mexico, you’ll be amazed at its relatively modest and approachable size as it begins its southward journey near Minneapolis.

Indeed, the river not only serves as a natural boundary between the two cities but also as an unusual calling card. I highly recommend taking a walk along the shore and then across the historic Stone Arch Bridge for a spectacular scenic view of the river. Historic Rice Park in St. Paul snuggles up against the river. You can even book kayaks and canoes for an easy paddle down the river — or the Minneapolis Queen paddle wheeler, for a scenic, narrated cruise.

Having traveled to the Twin Cities in the summer and winter months, I wouldn’t recommend visiting in winter or early spring (unless you can’t get enough of cold weather and huge snow totals).

I must admit, however, there is a palpable charm and coziness to the Twin Cities in the cold months. Locals and visitors alike enjoy winter sports like ice fishing, cross-country skiing and ice skating. Their famous winter carnival arrives in St. Paul in January, featuring amazing ice sculptures, hot air balloon rides and a jazz festival.

A curious but vital manmade phenomenon in Minneapolis allows reasonably comfortable winter living. The climate-controlled “Skyway” hovers one floor above street level and connects miles and miles of residences, businesses, hotels, shops and restaurants in the downtown area. You do not need to go outside in the winter in the downtown area unless you really want to. It’s wonderful! I’ve not seen anything like it in any other American city.

From about May through October, the Twin Cities are delightful. They are well known for their remarkably clean air, tidy downtown streets, miles of bike paths and thousands of lakes and green spaces. Minnesota is known as the “Land of 10,000 Lakes,” after all.

On the grounds of the Walker Art Center in Minneapolis, you’ll find the spoon and cherry fountain

Even without the Skyway, the Twin Cities, with their perfectly flat terrain, are very walkable most of the year. It is easy to crisscross the area on foot to Target Field to catch a Twins baseball game, to U.S. Bank Stadium (previously The Hubert H. Humphrey Metrodome) for a Vikings football game or to dozens of fine restaurants known for their Scandinavian-tinged culinary prowess. There’s even an F. Scott Fitzgerald walking tour and the wildly popular Victorian ghost tours. If walking is not your thing, the Twin Cities provide lots of bike, Segway, motor coach or paddle-board tour options.

For the shoppers or curious among you, I recommend a road trip to Bloomington to the world-famous Mall of America. Once billed as the largest shopping mall in the world, MOA features more than 600 stores (with tax-free shopping on shoes and apparel!), 75 restaurants, 40 theater screens and even a 7-acre theme park known as the Nickelodeon Universe Experience. It comes complete with rollercoasters, a Ferris wheel, ropes and adventure courses, and bumper cars.

“Overwhelming” is not quite the word for spending an afternoon there, but it comes close. People-watching turns into a contact sport. But it’s one of those things you should do once in your life. MOA is about 12 miles south of the Twin Cities. I drove there, but it is serviced by light-rail that will pick you up at or near your downtown hotel and deposit you steps from MOA and back.

Of course, there are many fine theaters, zoos, aquariums, amusement parks, and museums to spend your time. Among the best are the Minnesota Landscape Arboretum, American Swedish Institute, Minnesota History Center, the Minnesota State Capitol in St. Paul, and, just outside of Minneapolis, Valleyfair Amusement Park with its Peanuts theme (creator Charles Schulz was a proud Minnesotan).

Mall of America in nearby Bloomington, MN.

The Twin Cities also feature a few eclectic sculptures that are just right for that perfect selfie. In downtown Minneapolis, catch the Mary Tyler Moore sculpture with her iconic “throwing her tam in the air” pose. On the grounds of the Walker Art Center in Minneapolis, you’ll find the spoon and cherry fountain: a humungous spoon balancing an equally large red, ripe cherry. It is a must-see. And, if you’re a Peanuts fan like me, you’ll have to search out the bronze sculptures at Rice Park that portray the carefree happiness of Schulz’s beloved characters.

It’s not particularly easy to get to the Twin Cities. I have driven and flown. If you drive, it’s roughly a two-day drive of eight hours each along routes I-70, I-80 and I-90 (pretty easy to remember!). The midpoint is somewhere between Indianapolis and Chicago for your stopover.

Frontier has many affordable flights out of BWI to Minneapolis International Airport for under $150 each way. Southwest starts at about $300 each way.

There is a well-earned toughness about Twin City residents who point out how happy and healthy they are. Indeed, Forbes consistently ranks Minnesota as one of the top healthiest states in the U.S. There must be something to breathing all that cold air!

Longwood Gardens offers unmatched beauty

By Gary Bennett

This article appears in the April 11 issue of Frederick News-Post’s “72 Hours” entertainment insert.

Spring is in the air at Longwood Gardens, making it a great time to plan a getaway to this exquisite destination. Longwood Gardens is perhaps the best example of humans and nature working together — and the beauty that is possible if we can do that.

My wife and I recently enjoyed an early March trip, but we’ve visited Longwood Gardens at various times throughout the year, and it has much to offer in any season.

Longwood Gardens is only about three hours from Frederick (125 miles on I-70 and I-95) in Kennett Square, Pennsylvania, part of the state’s Brandywine Valley near Philadelphia. It is a robust 1,000-plus-acre botanical garden, woodlands and meadows, all rolled into one, and one of the largest horticultural display gardens in the U.S. Over 1 million guests visit Longwood Gardens each year.

It is open year-round and provides a fascinating glimpse into plant life at all stages and at any time of year. Longwood Gardens employs numerous horticulturalists, scientists and researchers who focus on preservation, education and conservation. There are numerous events and performances to enjoy nearly every day, as well as educational lectures and hands-on workshops. But the star of the show is the more than 1,000 species of magnificently blooming flowers. We go for this unparalleled beauty.

SEASONAL DELIGHTS

There is something wonderful to see and smell any time of year at the Gardens. New life seemingly arises from every corner.

From January to March, your visit will be mostly indoors, under glass and warmly heated. You can wander from greenhouse to greenhouse and enjoy all the creations the master horticulturalists have put on display. Many are standing by to explain what you are seeing and to advise you on your own houseplant exploits.

Spring is prime time there. From March through May, you can enjoy a peaceful walk through unending blankets of color, as flowering trees put on a show along with dazzling tulips, fragrant wisteria and our favorites, the delightfully graceful lilies swaying in the breeze.

Currently in bloom are gorgeous, rare blue poppies and blue and lavender hydrangeas, wisteria and orchids. The horticulturalists explain these temporary beauties only last a week or two, but don’t despair if you miss them; nearly every flowering species is in full bloom this time of year.

From May through September, the Garden’s Festival of Fountains will delight you. The gardens are at their summer best, and towering, colorful, musically-timed fountain jets will enhance your experience.

We also enjoy exploring shady Pierce’s Woods to cool off and enjoy the wildflowers around the Grand Lake and the stunning countryside vistas from the Conservatory Overlook.

If you bring the kids, you won’t want to miss the award-winning and whimsically-themed Children’s Garden and fireworks displays. A summer performance series rounds out the activities. This season’s lineup can be viewed at longwoodgardens.org/events-performances.

In October and November, the aptly-named Chrysanthemum Festival steals the show. I’ve never seen so many breathtaking and creative displays of this old fall favorite. There are three treehouses to explore that provide a bird’s-eye view of the fall color below. There’s even an entire multi-acre meadow filled to capacity with golden mums that provides oohs and ahhs from visitors.

From November through January, A Longwood Christmas will take you back to a simpler time. You can wander the outside paths through hundreds of thousands of twinkling lights. Be sure to visit the historic main conservatory where you can warm up among magnificently decorated live trees, thousands of ruby red poinsettias and fragrant greenhouse-grown flowers of all types.

If you’d like to put off your trip until later this year, Longwood Gardens is working on a major expansion and preservation strategy called Longwood Reimagined that is scheduled to open Nov. 22. They promise “stunning new buildings, wondrous new indoor and outdoor gardens and fantastic new guest experiences.” I think we’ll check that out.

LOGISTICS AND DETAILS

Tickets are priced according to season but are still a good bargain, in my opinion. From roughly Thanksgiving to early May, adult tickets are $25. Seniors 62 and over pay $22. Children 5 to 18 are charged $13, and children under 5 are admitted free.

From mid-May to Thanksgiving, tickets are a few dollars more across the board. Tickets are timed at half-hour intervals to allow a limited number of guests to enter at a time, thereby cutting down on lines. You can stay as long as long as you like, however. I recommend allocating four to five hours to see most of the gardens, catch your breath and get a really good feel for it.

Hours vary, but in the spring (March through May), Longwood Gardens is open from roughly 10 a.m. until 6 p.m. Mid-May through September, it is open until 10 p.m. on Thursdays, Fridays and Saturdays and 9 p.m. on other days. It is closed on Tuesdays.

Tickets should be purchased in advance and are “rain or shine.” Refunds are not provided. Parking is free, but it can be a bit of a hike from the parking areas to the gardens. I’d leave about 15 minutes to accomplish this task. There is no tram service, but wheelchairs, scooters and strollers are allowed and available for rent.

Bringing food and drink into the gardens is not allowed, but there’s a picnic area just outside the park for visitors who wish to bring their own food. Pets and smoking/vaping are not permitted.

The Terrace restaurant within the gardens is a leisurely 10-minute walk from the Visitor Center. A self-service cafe and full-service dining room are both available there. Guests can also enjoy the outdoor beer garden at The Terrace, available seasonally and during select special events.

There is also a delightful full-service restaurant called 1906, named in honor of the year Pierre S. du Pont (1870-1954) purchased the grounds that were developed into Longwood Gardens. Reservations are recommended. 1906 offers fresh, American, seasonal cuisine, with a focus on locally sourced and sustainable ingredients. We had a wonderful dining experience there.

Outside the gates, many local restaurants offer discounted pricing for Longwood Gardens guests. I recommend that strategy if you go in the winter, as the restaurants within the gates are sometimes closed for renovation. We have enjoyed Floga Bistro, Sweet Amelias and Hangry Bear Creamery in Kennett Square.

Longwood Gardens is a pleasant day trip — about six hours roundtrip — but if you would prefer to stay over, there is no shortage of accommodations available in Brandywine Valley.

Many hotels, inns and B&Bs offer packages that include tickets to Longwood Gardens. There are close-by budget chains like Best Western, Comfort Inn, Fairfield Inn and Courtyard by Marriott.

But for a more individualistic, adventurous stay, I recommend The Bookhouse Hotel in downtown Kennett Square. It contains more than 5,000 books for your reading pleasure. Or try the historic Brandywine River Hotel in nearby Chadds Ford.

An April Fools’ Day primer

By Gary Bennett

Gary as a hairy, unemployed biker. Airport security wanted this picture. I made their day.

This article appears in the Thursday, March 25 edition of the Frederick News-Post’s “72 Hours” entertainment insert.

Another April Fools’ Day is upon us, and it couldn’t have come at a better time! What? Have you not watched the news lately?

This great American un-holiday features trickery, monkeyshines, hoaxes, shenanigans and hijinks. Why April Fools’ Day is not a federal holiday, I’ll never understand.

April Fools’ Day comes on April 1 each year. No one quite knows why.

Some think it is connected to the vernal equinox, where Mother Nature fools us by changing weather from hot to cold every other day. One thing is for certain, however: Perpetrators must holler “April Fools!” at the end of the joke to clue in the unsuspecting party.

Though the day has purportedly been celebrated for centuries by different cultures, its exact origin remains a mystery. Some historians trace it back to ancient Rome and the appropriately-named festival of Hilaria. Others peg it to medieval France, when some fools couldn’t get the days straight on the newly created Gregorian calendar. (That’s actually pretty harsh. Can you imagine changing calendars today? We get grumpy just turning our clocks back one hour.)

The Brits ran with the concept in the 1700s, often sending people on phony cuckoo bird hunts. Later came “Tailie Day,” which involved pranks such as pinning fake tails or “kick me” signs on unsuspecting back ends.

My family must have lots of English blood. I can vividly remember my unsuspecting mother, who worked overnight at a Celanese plant in the 1970s, coming home with a fibery tail pinned to her derriere seemingly every morning.

My own grandchildren got in on the fun, too, by taping a “kick me” sign to my backside before a trip to the mall. Of course, I knew about it, but that didn’t stop me from playing along and listening to the heartwarming giggles as we strolled along.

The classic April Fools’ jokes of covering the toilet with plastic wrap or swapping the contents of sugar and salt containers are all well and good, but I would like you to think bigger.

To motivate you, here are some of the large-scale, classic April Fools’ jokes executed in recent history. They deserve our solemn respect.

• Swiss TV covered farm workers’ record spaghetti crop, complete with video of people harvesting the noodles from trees.

• George Plimpton reported on a rookie pitcher named Sidd Finch who could throw a ball 168 miles per hour

• An actor portraying Richard Nixon near the end of his life in 1992 announced he was running for president again, to the horror of everyone.

• Taco Bell announced they were purchasing the Liberty Bell and renaming it the Taco Liberty Bell.

• MIT engineering students dismantled the dean’s car and reassembled it on the administration building roof.

•••

Not to be outdone, I am happy to relate my own efforts.

Before I do, please note that I am always happy to be the butt of the joke if it embarrasses someone else, preferably my good-natured but long-suffering wife. Also note that shenanigans don’t have to occur on Aprils Fools’ Day, but it helps!

For years, we have vacationed with very good friends in Florida. My buddy and I like to drive, while my wife and his wife prefer to fly. As good and faithful husbands, we always promise to pick them up at the airport, and we do.

For some odd reason that probably dates to my childhood, I delight in dressing up in outrageous costumes to meet my wife and her friend at the airport. I typically have a sign welcoming them to Florida and meet them with exuberant jolliness, much to their chagrin.

The looks on their faces are priceless as I stand in the welcoming line when they emerge from airport security. There is nowhere to hide. Pretending to not know me doesn’t work either. They are putty in my hands.

I have shown up at airports as the following:

• an Italian playboy in short shorts and a jaunty hat

• a cool hippie dude

• an extremely overweight and uncool tourist

• an unemployed biker.

Pro tip, if you are thinking of trying this yourself: Notify airport security before you change into your getup in the men’s restroom. They’re usually not amused, but it’s the right thing to do.

If you’re wondering about my buddy, no, he won’t dress up. But to his credit, he doesn’t try to talk me out of it.

Unfortunately, the cat’s out of the bag for me now, and I’m forced to be more creative. After years of happily flying without me, my wife now begs me to fly with her. If that fails, she has taken to searching the car for suspicious clothing before I depart.

Little does she know, I have costumers up and down the East Coast who are awaiting my call.

Gary as the woefully out-of-place, jaunty European tourist, Armando.

Take Everyone Out to the Ball Game

New stadium, minor league team coming to Hagerstown this spring

By Gary Bennett

This article appears in DayTripper Magazine, Spring 2024.

Meritus Park, the nearly $70 million, 4,000-seat stadium, financed by the State of Mayland, promises to be a game changer for Hagerstown, which has hosted minor league baseball for over 100 years. Construction began in the fall 2022 and is scheduled to wrap up in time for the opening game on May 3.

“It’s going to be an incredible facility not just for baseball, but for other events like festivals and concerts and will really provide a huge boost to Hagerstown’s downtown economy,” said David Blenckstone, general manager of Hagerstown’s new minor league baseball team and the stadium’s first tenant.

“The stadium will reflect the city of Hagerstown with an emphasis on railroads and bricks, two industries the city was really known for historically. We are proud of all the art that will adorn the concourses, too,” said Blenckstone.

Minor League Baseball’s newest team, the Hagerstown Flying Boxcars, will call the stadium home and compete in the Atlantic League. They are one of 10 teams in the Atlantic League this year. The players’ skill level will be tantamount to AA or AAA players.

Hagerstown Flying Boxcars logo including mascot Stryker and a C-119 “flying boxcar”

So, what’s a flying boxcar?

A team naming contest held last year garnered 1,700 responses. The clear winner was a nod to Hagerstown’s proud aviation past. The sprawling local Fairchild plant was a key builder of the C-119 Flying Boxcar for both the Navy and Marine Corps in the 1940s. The nickname aptly represents the giant military transport aircraft developed to carry both cargo and personnel into battle in Europe.

As for the stadium, Meritus Park will boast all the amenities you would expect from a minor league ballpark plus many you might not. Construction of the stadium is in the hands of the Maryland Stadium Authority, famous for their creative stewardship of Oriole Park at Camden Yards.

“The stadium is designed not just for the hard-core baseball fan but also for the casual one who is looking for an enjoyable, social evening out,” said Blenckstone.

One notable feature will be the 360-degree concourse that allows fans to walk completely around the inside of the stadium. That’s not something you find at Harry Grove Stadium or other typical minor league parks.

The stadium will have a full-service bar in the left field area and a beer garden in right. A picnic area greets you near the main gate and a family-friendly zone is right behind first base. The video board, lighting system and sound system are promised to be of major-league quality and state of the art.

Attendees at an evening game can easily make a day of it because of the downtown location. A pleasant mile-long walkway called the Hagerstown Cultural Trail runs along the ballpark for about a half mile, connecting visitors to the arts and entertainment district, Hagerstown City Park and Fine Arts Museum.

Highly rated local restaurants within easy walking distance of the stadium include: Broad Axe, Bulls and Bears, 28 South and Schmankerl Stube—a quintessentially German-themed restaurant serving hearty Bavarian fare.

Fans will certainly have no trouble finding the stadium. It sits near the corner of West Baltimore Street and Summit Avenue in downtown Hagerstown right next to the old Hearld-Mail newspaper building. The stadium’s tall and imposing façade and light stanchions will dominate Hagerstown’s skyline.

Parking should be no problem either. The City of Hagerstown is contributing a 400-car parking deck right next to the stadium. Plus, two more existing parking decks are within 3 blocks of the stadium.

The season begins in early May. Get tickets at FlyingBoxcars.com.

Themed nights will include Silver Sluggers Tuesdays—special ticket prices and giveaways for those 55 and older—and Double Dog Days Wednesdays—bring your pooch and enjoy discounts on hot dogs. See a complete list is at FlyingBoxcars.com.