Get (way) out of town for Valentine’s Day

By Gary Bennett

This article appears in the February 13, 2025, issue of Frederick News-Post’s “72 Hours” entertainment insert.

Folks, you don’t need to surprise your honey with a romantic trip to Paris, Venice or Rome for Valentine’s Day. Oh no, that’s too expensive anyway. Believe me, you’ll feel right at home at one of these romantic destinations I’ve carefully curated for you right here in the good old U.S.A.

When you arrive in one of these dreamy destinations, your significant other will be overcome with emotion. In fact, they won’t look at you the same way again. Plus, some of these towns are so inexpensive to visit, they will actually pay you to come!

I must warn you, though, not all of these towns are large enough to have a romantic bed and breakfast (or running water, for that matter.) But I can assure you, they all have “Welcome to” signs that will be just right for that selfie.

Please note that all these places are real! Only the descriptions have been changed to protect the town leaders and, of course, the innocent. Plus, the real descriptions are lame.

Accident, Maryland

A charming burg in nearby Garrett County. You may want to skip this one, though, if you don’t wish to have one of those kinds of romantic mishaps.

Bangor, Maine

Our northernmost destination (pronounced Bang-er) is snow covered at Valentine’s Day and action-oriented (I mean skiing! C’mon, get your mind out of the gutter!).

Boody, Illinois

This restful, bootylicious heartland community will make you feel like sitting down and taking a load off.

Butternuts, New York

This tiny upstate enclave is named after the tasty squash that is plentiful here (what did you think?). Be advised, you may come away from here with a new nickname, if you play your cards right.

Climax, Georgia

You’ll burst with excitement when visiting this small but satisfying Southern town.

Cockeysville, Maryland

A close-by Maryland destination that specializes in goofy little pet names. Your honey pie will love it!

Conception, Missouri

Like Accident, this one is not for the faint of heart. Skip this one if you’re not feeling lucky.

Conquest, New York

A delightful upstate borough perfect for the goal-oriented, won’t-take-no-for-an-answer folks. (You know who you are.)

Diamond, California

Now we’re talking. This one is for the big spenders among us, or at least folks who appreciate syrupy pop songs from a ‘70s icon.

Flowers, Mississippi

If you’re not ready for Diamond (and who is?), this is your next best bet.

French Lick, Indiana

Home of NBA legend Larry Bird. Townsfolk will be glad to show you around and provide an oral history.

Fertile, Minnesota

If you’re not going to Accident or Conception, I doubt you’ll go here. But I say take a chance! What could go wrong?

Heart Butte, Montana

I can see you snickering out there, but it’s pronounced Byute. You know, like a lovely, shapely mountain.

Heartwell, Nebraska

This destination sounds nice but I’m sorry to say it’s actually full of cardiologists. I include it here for the over-70 readers.

Hell, Michigan

This is the final, frozen-over destination for those love-on-the-rocks, can’t-be-saved relationships. Heck, you can even be mayor here for a day if you pay the price.

Honeyville, Utah

Take your honey to this little hamlet in the Mormon state. Be advised: If you’re not married, a church leader might harangue you about going back home.

Hooker, Oklahoma

Maybe not the best choice for a romantic weekend, but I say give it a try. Be sure to take advantage of the welcoming committee found on most street corners. Bring cash and low expectations.

Intercourse, Pennsylvania

Finally! Slip into the most famous romantic getaway on the list. And, because it’s positioned just up the road from us in Frederick, you’ll be thrust into a great time. Trust me.

Love, Arizona

This is what’s it’s all about, right?

Lovers Leap, Cumberland

This nearby attraction beckons lovers to show how much they really care. Perfect for the nothing-to-lose folks just a step ahead of an angry, shotgun-toting father.

Pee Pee Township, Ohio

If Cockeysville is just too cutesy for you, there’s always this surprisingly tiny community in Ohio that is folded into its southern region. Blink and you could miss it.

Romance, Arkansas

Be sure to visit the world’s largest thesaurus factory in this exciting, joyful, dreamy, starry-eyed, romantic village in the Ozarks.

Roses, Pennsylvania

This burg in the Keystone State is not far from Intercourse. Everyone knows it’s hard to visit Intercourse unless you do Roses first.

Rough and Ready, California

Named after California’s proud gold-mining past (sure it was), lovers here must be open-minded and up for just about anything.

Screamer, Alabama

An obvious choice for you overachievers. But unless you’ve been here before, you’ll marvel at how noisy this town can be, especially on Saturday nights.

Sweet Lips, Tennessee

If Butternuts is not your cup of tea, I wholeheartedly recommend Sweet Lips.

Surprise, New York

There are lots of Surprises in the U.S., but the one in New York was founded by the same folks who settled Conception, Missouri. They got out of there fast.

Truth or Consequences, New Mexico

You can’t get away with anything in this well-named community, so don’t even try.

Valentine, Indiana

Finally, a town worthy of this list that has gone terribly off the tracks. Fun fact: This town was just recently renamed from Greeting Card, Indiana, to honor the handsome agent on the television show “FBI.”

Weiner, Arkansas

Last but not least, this tiny town is pronounced the way you think, and they are damn proud of it. Home to world-famous Chihuahua races and snow birds from Pee Pee Township, Ohio.

Gary Bennett is a longtime Frederick resident who spends his time hiking, biking, volunteering and providing childcare for grandchildren. He is married and retired from his career as a nonprofit marketing executive.

Live from New York, it’s 50 years!

By Gary Bennett

Saturday Night Night Main Stage, Rockefeller Center, New York

This article appears in the Fredrick News-Post’s February 6, 2025, “72 Hours” entertainment insert.

It’s difficult to overstate the cultural significance of Saturday Night Live. It may not seem so today, but the show literally changed the way young people approached Saturday nights in the 1970s.

Saturday Night Live will celebrate its 50th anniversary in 2025 with a three-hour prime time special on NBC on Feb. 16. As of this writing, a host has not been named, but one thing is certain, the show will be chock full of hilarious clips from its 50-year reign.

Much about Saturday Night Live, especially the early years, has passed into legend. But when the show hit the airwaves in October 1975, no one knew what to expect. A young writer named Lorne Michaels talked NBC executives into taking a chance on a live, late-night, weekend comedy show. This had not been tried before.

He wanted nothing less than to redefine comedy the way the Beatles, 10 years earlier, had redefined pop music. “That required not pandering, and it also required removing neediness, the need to please,” Michaels says in the book “Live from New York” by Tom Shales and James Andrew Miller. “We were only going to please those people who are like us, and that’s what we did.”

The show aired at 11:30 on Saturday night. If you were a college student at that time, like I was, 11:30 was prime time for parties, drinking, dancing and blowing off steam. Many of us didn’t even head out until that time. Once word got around that you had to see this new show, it didn’t take long for us to adjust our loose schedules accordingly. NBC banked that we would do both — stay in to watch the show but still go out before, after or both — and we did.

The Magnificent Seven, 1975

A little known fact is that Johnny Carson is largely responsible for the airing of Saturday Night Live. Carson ruled late-night TV during the week. By 1975, he had had enough of NBC airing his reruns on Saturday night; he wanted to use the reruns himself during the week so he could take more time off. NBC had the option of returning this weekend time to the local affiliates, and thereby giving up a chunk of ad revenue, or trying to fill the time with other programming.

It was no surprise when word went out from NBC executives to develop a late-night weekend show. Had the powerful Carson never made this demand, it’s quite possible there would never have been a Saturday Night Live. After all, Carson did not retire until 1992.

The man NBC took a chance on, 30-year-old Lorne Michaels, gave them much more than I’m sure they bargained for: an adventurous, topical, satire series with a live studio audience that, had executives and advertisers known of its content in advance, might never have seen the light of day.

Michaels wanted the show to be the first one in the history of television to talk the same language being talked on college campuses, streets and everywhere else young people gathered. In this, he succeeded wildly.

The show was originally called NBC’s Saturday Night. It was the first show the television generation — baby boomers, as we are now called — could call their own. It was unlike anything else on the air, and it would be years before rivals even tried to imitate it. It was new, unusual, surprising and boy, did it make us laugh. It had the proverbial inmates running the asylum, and it showed.

The show made stars of unknowns and superstars of stars. The brash young players that comprised the Not Ready for Prime Time Players in those first few seasons are now household names. Belushi, Chase, Aykroyd, Radner, Murray, Murphy, Piscopo and more delighted in trashing TV taboos.

Many of these would-be stars wanted no part of TV but took on the gig anyway because they could look down on even the most successful prime-time show — because their show was different. It was one of a kind. It made fun of television. John Belushi made his feelings about television known at the time by famously saying, “My television has spit all over it.”

And who in the boomer generation can forget the Coneheads, Mad Samurai, Nick the Lounge Singer, Fred Garvin (Male Prostitute), the Wild and Crazy Guys, Killer Bees, Blues Brothers, Roseanne Roseannadanna, Wayne and Garth, Mr. Bill, Fernando, Hans and Franz, Lisa Loopner and Todd, The Church Lady, Pete Schweddy and the Greek deli owner selling “chee-burger, chee-burger, and Petsie.”

The very first show featured a “cold opening” that portended of things to come. Belushi appeared as a semi-literate immigrant dutifully keeling over with a heart attack because his English teacher suddenly dies of one. With that, Chevy Chase, as stage manager with clipboard in hand, looks in at the dead bodies and flashes that fake Hollywood smile and says, “Live from New York, it’s Saturday Night!” Then cue the saxophone-infused music. Those words from Chase, the music and the accompanying scenes from New York’s shady underbelly had an exciting feel to them. We were hooked.

Another instant hit from the early shows was Chase as the bumbling but cooler-than-you newscaster for Weekend Update, an absurdist view of the goings-on in Washington and around the country. The segment was so topical and up-to-date that writers tell stories of being under Chase’s desk live on air handing notes up to him.

His goofy but sincere opening line of the newscast — “Good evening. I’m Chevy Chase and you’re not” — became a national catchphrase that even President Ford used. Because of this segment and the stage manager schtick when opening the show, Chase became the first breakout star, leaving after only one season to act in movies.

He was replaced by none other than Bill Murray in season two. The show barely skipped a beat. In short order, Belushi and Dan Aykroyd became major stars, too.

Feuds, fights and romances among staff members were in the paper seemingly every week. Boozy after-parties were legendary. Sex and drugs were rampant backstage. Network executives tended to steer clear of the 17th floor, where the show was written and performed, not wishing to be enmeshed in marijuana smoke and other strange aromas that would be hard to explain. Better to not know.

By the beginning of the second season, Saturday Night Live was the talk of television, a national phenomenon.

Even the performers who joined the cast later are legendary in their own right: Eddie Murphy, Billy Crystal, Martin Short, Phil Hartman, Chris Farley, Mike Meyers, Dana Carvey, Chris Rock, Darrell Hammond, Will Ferrell, Adam Sandler, Jimmy Fallon, Tina Fey, Julia Louis-Dreyfuss, Jon Lovitz, Dennis Miller, Kevin Nealon, Tracy Morgan, Amy Poehler … the list goes on and on. Big stars like Hanks, Martin, Baldwin and Timberlake fell all over themselves wanting to host.

For better or worse, Saturday Night Live lives on as a testament to what you can accomplish if you really believe in something — and “don’t give a flying f— if it fails,” as Chase put it in 1975, when a reporter asked him how the show succeeded.

Gary Bennett is a longtime Frederick resident who spends his time hiking, biking, volunteering and providing childcare for grandchildren. He is married and retired from his career as a nonprofit marketing executive.

Journey out to the Outer Banks

By Gary Bennett

The Wright Brothers National Memorial in Kill Devil Hills, NC.

This article appears in the January 9, 2025, issue of Frederick News-Post’s entertainment insert “72 Hours.”

My wife and I have been up and down the East Coast from Maine to Florida many times. We’ve enjoyed the Atlantic Ocean in Bar Harbor and Kennebunkport, both Ocean Cities (New Jersey and Maryland), Cape May, Virginia Beach, Myrtle Beach, Jacksonville, Miami Beach and Key West.

But, somehow along the way, we missed the Outer Banks of North Carolina.

We finally made it this past fall, and I’m so glad we did.

The Outer Banks (or OBX as signs and license plates proclaim everywhere) is well-known around Frederick. Many families tell stories of renting a house on this narrow sliver of land that spans about 200 miles of coastline, inviting the entire extended family to join them. I can only imagine what fun this must be.

The Outer Banks is an interesting name. It is a barrier island (or more correctly, a series of barrier islands) sitting in the Atlantic Ocean a few miles from the North Carolina mainland. On a map, it resembles a wayward violin string or a dog’s crooked hind leg. “Barrier” means that the islands will eventually surrender to the ocean, but hopefully not for millions of years.

The islands are separated from the mainland by sounds, which we don’t have here in Maryland. With exotic names like Albemarle, Currituck and Pamlico, these large bodies of water are bigger than a bay or river but not as big as a sea. This gives the islands a secluded feel. Also, there are only a few access points, which increases the feeling of seclusion. You can reach the Outer Banks by highway, of course, but other areas to the south can only be accessed by ferry or small plane.

Sunrise over the shores of Outer Banks, NC.

We arrived at Outer Banks via North Carolina Route 158, which winds its way down the coast from the Hampton Roads area of Virginia. We crossed over the Albemarle Sound and landed near the small village of Southern Shores. From there, it was just a short, pleasant ride to our hotel in Kill Devil Hills.

From Frederick, our drive totaled about 5 and a half hours, covering 320 miles. Overall, it was pleasant. It helps to leave on a Saturday morning if you can, thereby minimizing the traffic around D.C. and Richmond. Once you hang a right at Hampton Roads and head south, traffic thins out nicely.

The Outer Banks begin at Corolla, far to the north, and stretches down to Ocracoke to the south. We didn’t have time on this trip, but one can traverse the entire length of the Outer Banks on picturesque NC Highway 12 (or Beach Road, as the locals call it) and never be more than 3 miles from the ocean. At its narrowest, this spit of land is only 150 yards wide from ocean to sound.

The best-known OBX towns are mostly clustered near the center of the island and have perplexing names. Perhaps the most well-known is Nags Head. No one is certain, but one popular theory is the town got its name from pirates tying lanterns to the necks of horses, or “nags,” to trick ships loaded with booty to run aground.

Kill Devil Hills got its name, so the story goes, from rum, which had washed ashore from wrecked ships and was so strong, it could “kill” the devil.

Kitty Hawk’s name is not quite as interesting. It most likely derives from the Algonquin word “Chickahawk,” which means “a place to hunt geese.” The name first appeared on English maps in the 1700s. Kitty Hawk, of course, will be forever linked to the daring Wright Brothers and their ingenious flying contraption.

The Outer Banks is known for pristine but sometimes wild beaches, majestic sand dunes, wild horses and its many lighthouses. The central OBX beaches of Kitty Hawk, Kill Devil Hills and Nags Head each have their own distinctive personality but share pebbly, off-white sand, skinny shorelines, large oceanfront homes (including Millionaire’s Row), easy access, grassy barriers and numerous fishing piers.

Currituck Beach Lighthouse in Outer Banks, NC.

If it’s a boardwalk you’re looking for, we recommend the peaceful, winding one along Currituck Sound in the tiny village of Duck. The Duck Boardwalk encourages a leisurely pace and can be accessed from the town park and other locations throughout the village. It extends for over a mile and offers beautiful views, a variety of wildlife and some retail establishments and restaurants.

The stars of the show at OBX are, without a doubt, the rolling, majestic and seemingly never-ending sand dunes. Jockey’s Ridge State Park in Nags Head has the tallest active sand-dune system in the Eastern U.S., stretching up to 110 feet tall. The chain of dunes is protected by thick maritime forests and grasses. When we visited, families with young children were happily exploring the dunes on nearby trails.

Other must-sees when visiting OBX include the Cape Hatteras Lighthouse and National Seashore, Currituck Beach Lighthouse and Maritime Museum, Jennette’s Pier (home to an excellent science and educational center) and the Wright Brothers National Memorial.

The Wright Brothers National Memorial, inexplicably in Kill Devil Hills and not Kitty Hawk, includes a full-scale reproduction of the original plane that is not much bigger or sturdier than a hang glider, numerous exhibits, educational talks by docents, the 1902-‘03 camp buildings where the brothers performed their experiments, the carefully maintained 3,000-foot airstrip, a mesmerizing sculpture of the brothers and other helpers preparing for takeoff, the “First Flight” boulder marking the takeoff point of the three experimental flights and the dominating, 60-foot memorial to their achievements at the top of a huge sand dune.

One of the last remaining Ben Franklin stores is in OBX.

For food, Miller’s Seafood and Steakhouse in Kill Devil Hills serves breakfast, lunch and dinner, specializing in fresh seafood and aged steaks. For dinner, I tried the North Carolina sea scallops, which were seared and grilled to perfection, and my wife, Ellen, had the sesame-seared bourbon tuna. Both were excellent. The Miller family also owns the “American Pie” shop right next door that offers delicious homemade pies and ice cream.

For lunch, try Cosmo’s Pizza, the local, New York-style pizza shop. It sits unassumingly in a strip mall near Corolla, but the tasty food and friendly atmosphere make it worth the trip. Their red brick, wood-burning oven gives the place a warm, homey feel and provides a crispy, slightly burnt pizza crust that is so hard to find in Frederick.

We considered trying some North Carolina-style barbecue, but after learning the Eastern-style Carolina type is made using the “whole hog,” we demurred. Using the whole hog means the entire pig is barbecued, chopped up and mixed together. It is served with a vinegar-based sauce, also not one of my favorites. The locals claim that pork served this way is the most tender with a deliciously distinct flavor. I guess I’ll never know.

For shopping, I recommend four local favorites: The Cotton Gin, Farmer’s Daughter, Gray’s and Kitty Hawk Kites.

The Cotton Gin provides high-end shopping and seems to have something for everyone. True to its name, 100% cotton clothing dominates the offerings. This local landmark has been around nearly 100 years and is the go-to place for gifts and souvenirs.

Farmers Daughter (there is no apostrophe to be found) is the quintessential beach shop with 16 OBX locations. The Kill Devil Hills location we visited specializes in what they call “fish hippie apparel.” You’ll need to check that out to see for yourself.

Gray’s Outer Banks Lifestyle Clothing Company (its long, official name) in Kitty Hawk specializes in coastal, casual resort wear. As soon as you step inside, you’re greeted by local history and friendly faces.

To really get into that beach vibe and double down on the “first in flight” mojo, visit Kitty Hawk Kites in Duck. It is celebrating 50 years in business. The colorful kites and hang gliders appear ready to jump into the air at any moment.

Two locals favorites we couldn’t resist are Brew Thru, a drive through convenience store offering everything you need, including beer and wine, and one of the last remaining Ben Franklin stores left standing in the U.S.

Outer Banks, NC, is kn0wn for its huge sand dunes.

The former offers more than 100 brands of beers and wines you simply point to and pay for. That, my friends, is America at its best! The latter is a proud member of the five-and-dime retail empire that once numbered over 2,500 stores, mostly in smaller locales nationwide, but now are fewer than 250. According to the manager, the Nags Head Ben Franklin has stood the test of time by adapting to the needs of its customers. It has become an immaculately neat beach gift shop, but its proud history is front and center thanks to the gigantic, unmistakable, red Ben Franklin sign and the ocean-themed mural that adorns the facade of the building.

Gary Bennett is a longtime Frederick resident who spends his time hiking, biking, volunteering and providing childcare for grandchildren. He is married and retired from his career as a nonprofit marketing executive.

The Fonzie Phenomenon

By Gary Bennett

This article appears in the October 31, 2024 edition of the Frederick News-Post’s “72 Hours” entertainment insert.

In 1974, America was going through very tough times. Watergate hearings droned on every day, the Vietnam War was ending haphazardly, and oil shortages had us all waiting in long gas lines and on edge.

So, it came as no surprise when a wave a nostalgia hit America. Many of us pined for gentler, easier times. The 1950s seemed to fit the bill nicely. The economy was good then and grandfatherly Dwight Eisenhower was in the White House. The hit movie “American Graffiti” (1973) and smash musical “Grease” (1971) both examined an innocent brand of everyday teen life to rave reviews.

Not to be outdone, in the fall of ’74, network television brought us a modest situation comedy called “Happy Days,” starring child actor Ron Howard of “Andy Griffith Show” fame. For the first time, Richie, Ralph, Potsy and Fonzie entered our living rooms. Little did we know, they would stay for more than a decade.

One can only imagine the chance the network took on building a show around a former child actor (Howard), a bunch of other unknown 20-something actors and a couple of mature, little known character actors, all portraying a modest 1950s, family-and-friends-are-everything lifestyle.

But, somehow, it worked.

Whatever the network executives saw in the show’s premise and the young actors was proved right. The show took an idealized look at life in the ’50s. The father owned a hardware store. Mom stayed at home and kept house. The teen characters fretted over girls and problems at school. There was a tough guy with a heart of gold. All of this was set in the comfortable backdrop of Milwaukee, Wisconsin.

The show was like “American Graffiti,” also starring Howard, by focusing on the teen lives of the main characters. Best friends Richie Cunningham (Howard), Potsy Webber (Anson Williams) and Ralph Malph (Don Most) hit all the right notes as teens trying to do their best but with a talent for getting in trouble.

The show didn’t do well at first. But soon it caught fire when it began featuring a minor, leather-clad character called Fonzie — or The Fonz. It’s difficult to overstate the influence of The Fonz on 1970s culture.

Henry Winkler as Arthur (Fonzie) Fonzarelli

Arthur Fonzarelli was played to “tough-guy-with-a-heart” perfection by a young, handsome, Yale-trained actor named Henry Winkler. The Fonz was a biker, a high school dropout and a bit older than the teens who idolized him, but he had a kind of magical coolness and street smarts that drew people to him. He would often enter the show with two or three young ladies on his arm.

Fonzie became one of the most memorable and merchandised characters of the 1970s. His image was on everything from lunch boxes and T-shirts to posters and soda cans. Henry Winkler became a major star and later parlayed his stardom into a lucrative movie career. His trademark leather jacket is now on display at the Smithsonian.

His catch phrases, which I can’t do justice to in print, were not scripted but created by Winkler. They included “sit on it” — an insult of epic proportions, “heyyyyyy!,” “whoa” and “correctamundo!” It wasn’t long before these phrases were on the lips of ‘70s teens and pre-teens everywhere.

It also didn’t hurt that Fonzie had superpowers. He could start any balky machine, including the local juke box, with a well-place rap of his fist, and he could instantly summon girls to his side with a snap of his fingers. He was the guy every man (and boy) wanted to be and every woman wanted to be with.

He had a kind of cool not seen on the small screen to this day. The only young character that came remotely close was James Dean in the movie “Rebel Without a Cause.” Everyone knew The Fonz was tough and could fight, but he never had to. His reputation always preceded him.

In 1999, TV Guide ranked Fonzie as No. 4 on its “50 Greatest TV Characters of All Time” list. Even so, the Emmy for best lead actor in a comedy eluded Winkler. He was nominated three times but never won. Decades later in 2015, he finally received his first Emmy for his performance on HBO’s “Barry.” Today, a bronze statue of The Fonz stands on the Milwaukee Riverwalk.

I believe one critical theme, eschewing convention, that creator Garry Marshall came up with that allowed the show to thrive was that The Fonz, who had absolutely no reason to do so, genuinely befriended the slightly nerdy teens. No one was quite sure why, but we all suspected it was because he could, and no one would say a word. Or, it may have been that he had a soft spot for those who are awkward and not as cool as him. It was probably a little of both.

Another theme that played well was the genuine love and respect the teens showed for the grownups. In turn, the grownups were supportive and gentle with the teens. The mutual love was easily apparent. The Cunningham parents were played pitch-perfectly by veteran actors Tom Bosley and Marion Ross. (Ross is still alive at 96.) The heart they brought to their much smaller parts was remarkable. Fonzi even had a soft spot for the motherly “Mrs. C.” She was the only one who could call him Arthur and get away with it.

“Happy Days” was one of the most successful shows of the 1970s. In its 11 seasons through 1984, it became the third longest-running sitcom in ABC’s history, with 255 episodes. In the 1976 and 1977 seasons, it was the No. 1 television show in America. The show spawned successful spinoffs “Laverne and Shirley” and “Mork and Mindy.” Both were culturally relevant in their own right.

The show played in syndication almost right away. One of my fondest memories from college in the mid- to late-‘70s, is playing cards between classes at the student union with pals of my own with “Happy Days” playing in the background.

At this year’s Emmy Awards, the now-famous duo of Howard and Winkler stole the show with their “Happy Days” reunion back at Arnold’s Malt Shop. Winkler even smacked the juke box to get it going like he did so many times in the ‘70s.

Gary Bennett is a longtime Frederick resident who spends his time hiking, biking, volunteering and providing childcare for grandchildren. He is married and retired from his career as a nonprofit marketing executive.

Doggone it, Halloween is full of furry fun

By Gary Bennett

One of the top winners in 2023 Canines on the Creek

This article appears in the October 24, 2024, edition of Frederick News-Post’s 72 Hours magazine.

When did pets, especially dogs, become such a large part of Halloween? According to a recent survey by PetSmart, 75% of pet owners are planning to dress up their pet for Halloween. Dogs lead the way, by a wide margin, as the pet of choice to don creative clothing. Most pet owners even plan to match their pet’s attire to their own!

It is clear most pet owners don’t intend to leave their pets behind when enjoying this fun season. Millennials lead the way in saying they’ll dress up their pets (86%), followed by Gen Z (81%), Gen X (74%) and Baby Boomers (59%).

All cohorts admit that social media posts drive this phenomenon. Pets clearly rule when it comes to social media, even more than children. About a third surveyed admitted that pets in costumes are designed to draw attention and get maximum likes. Kids in costumes trailed slightly behind.

It seems tempting to treat the prevalence of pups sauntering down the street dressed for the season with kids and parents in tow as a recent, social media-driven spectacle. But that is really not the case. As long as dogs have been human companions (going on 12,000 years now), humans have been dressing them.

Ancient Egyptians employed seldom-used dog collars as a status symbol. Around the time of Christ, Romans adorned their dogs with golden collars encrusted with diamonds and rubies. In 19th-century England, the royal family dressed their dogs in jackets and trousers, and the trend soon caught on. Not to be outdone, well-to-do French citizens of the same time dressed their dogs in costumes for social gatherings, travel and beach outings. They even had bathing outfits, silk jackets and tea gowns for their furry friends to lounge in.

It should be no surprise then that modern-day pet owners enjoy dressing up their fur babies for Halloween. After all, what is cuter than Butch as a pumpkin, hot dog or bumblebee?

But the question remains: Is this behavior good for the dog? Or, as one person told me last year, “Can’t we just let dogs be dogs?”

A scary Canines on the Creek contestant

Well, I think we are.

The Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals believes that dog clothing should have a clear benefit to the dog — think sweaters in cold weather and paw protectors in hot weather. But one can reason that providing beneficial clothing to dogs does not preclude it from being beautiful or fun. Let’s face it, dogs are unaware of how they look. Therefore, the Society has concluded that if your pals are comfortable and appear happy, Halloween-themed clothing isn’t going to hurt them. Indeed, they may enjoy the added attention and smiles.

Have you ever wondered why people began dressing their dogs? One explanation is that many pets serve as an extension of the personality of their owners. If you like Halloween, you want Spot to like Halloween, too. Others like to honor their pals by bestowing human-like qualities on them. Who doesn’t speak long, complicated sentences to their pooch while they seem to intently listen? Still others may be lonely and have a need to get as close to their pets as possible — be a part of the pack, so to speak. But the main reason is simpler. According to surveys, most people say it’s just plain fun.

So if you plan to dress up your best friend for Halloween festivities, here are some tips from Frederick-based experts at the Humane Society, Animal Welfare League, and Frederick County Animal Control to make your day safe and fun:

• Measure your pup and make sure the costume fits well but not too tightly.

• Dogs always need a full range of motion. Make sure they can comfortably walk, eat, lie down and run.

• Avoid costumes with small buttons and other decorations pets can chew off and swallow.

• Avoid non-breathable fabrics like nylon and polyester.

• If your pal has never dressed up before, give them a few days to get used to their new duds before trotting them out in public. You can quietly assess their reaction in private.

• Not all dogs will enjoy dressing up. Watch for signs of stress, which may indicate a preference to remain unclothed: aggression, whining, excessive yawning, head-shaking, a refusal to move, panting or persistent body shaking.

The experts offered other tips for a safe Halloween season, even if your pets don’t dress up:

• Slowly introduce adult and children costumes and decorations a few days ahead to limit stress. Remember that humans dressed in scary costumes and big blow-up decorations are strange and novel objects to pets. Give them time to adjust.

• Offer treats and reassurance if you observe reactions such as startled jumps, flattened ears, flattened tails or cautious approaches.

• Never leash them into a spooky situation they can’t escape. Let dogs explore at their own pace.

• Practice doorbell chiming to get your pals used to the constant commotion of trick-or-treating. Reward patience and bravery with calm words and tasty treats.

• Keep human treats off limits to your pups and throw away those candy wrappers, too. Beware their ingesting even the smallest portion of chocolate or sugar-free candies that contain xylitol.

• If all else fails, remove your dog from the chaos. Consider creating a cozy space for your doggos to get away from all the ghouls and goblins.

If all systems are go and you’re ready to strut your mutt, here are the top 10 doggy costumes of 2022 according to Prosper Insights & Analytics 2022 Halloween Survey. Perhaps this will give you some ideas.

• Pumpkin • Hot dog • Bat • Bumblebee • Witch • Lion • Spider • Ghost • Superdog • Devil

A beautiful Taco contestant in 2023 Canines on the Creek

October Orneriness: Candy faces off this Halloween season

By Gary Bennett

Gary’s 32 “team” single-elimination candy bracket

This article appears in the October 24 issue of Frederick News-Post’s “72 Hours” entertainment magazine.

The sweet season is upon us, and this can only mean one thing: It’s time for the titans of sugary deliciousness and empty calories to square off in what I lovingly call October Orneriness.

Sure, March has its Madness and Candy has its Crush, but no one, and I mean no one, can use those terms without hearing from the NCAA or King, the company behind the candy-themed game. Happily, October Orneriness is open to anyone with a sweet tooth and a penchant for gazing upon the wondrous candy aisle at your local Wegman’s.

Never heard of October Orneriness? Oh sure, like you’ve never raided the kids’ Halloween stash after they’ve gone to bed. That is where this term comes from.

So, without further ado, I present to you perhaps the only October Orneriness bracket you’ve ever seen (or probably ever will see).

Because loving candy is nearly universal (yes, I see you smirking, holier-than-thou fruit and veggie lovers out there), I encourage you to fill out your own October Orneriness bracket, just like with that March thing you do.

Allow me to explain my bracket so you can get some helpful tips on your own.

Just like with any good March Madness bracket, there must be some upsets. You can’t just pick the higher-ranked candy each time. Any good professional gambler or frat boy will tell you that never works out.

I’m sorry to tell you this, but just like in March, some of your favorite candies will not even make the tournament. That is sad, but that is life. Maybe next year.

Among the candies on the bubble but ultimately left out of my bracket are such stalwarts as Whatchamacallit (confusing name), Jolly Ranchers (will break your teeth when you least expect it), Bit-O-Honey (good for the dentist, bad for you), Smarties (look too much like my morning pill regimen), and Dove Bar (inexplicably, the Harvard of candy bars had finals on Selection Sunday and didn’t show).

As anyone can plainly see, I have Snickers going all the way. They are my national champ and personal favorite. Any gambler will tell you not to go with your heart, but I couldn’t help it. Snickers is the No. 1 ranked candy in the land (in sales) and is not to be trifled with. Kind of like the Yankees.

By now you’ve also noticed that my national runner up is Nerds. Nerds?! I can feel your seething astonishment through the newspaper.

I know of no one except 4-year-old boys and a certain 72 Hours editor that likes this candy. But I am not stupid, so, on a hunch, I will take them along on this wild ride! Along the way, I have Nerds taking out the highly underrated $100,000 bar (aka 100 Grand) and the No. 2 ranked candy in the land, Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups. They are the LA Dodgers of candy, with an unlimited marketing and TV budget. Alas, they will take Nerds too lightly and get knocked out in a squeaker. Kinda like Alabama rolling into Nashville to crush Vanderbilt. Not!

Going back to the semi-finals, I have Snickers, with their exquisite combination of chocolate, nougat (what is nougat, anyway?) peanuts and oozing caramel deliciousness defeating a scrappy Twix team, featuring a left and right cookie covered in chocolate and caramel. Their dynamic crunch and exquisite “mouth feel” almost got them to the finals. It could be, however, they are better suited to a cookie tournament.

Somehow, some way, I have Nerds defeating M&Ms in the semis. M&Ms could have won that one, but I don’t like their silly, life-size, talking M&M commercials or their split personality disorder — are they plain, peanut or both? Every now and then they’re even dark chocolate!

In the round of eight, Skittles, Kit Kat and Hershey Kisses make an appearance. Skittles will not overcome their obvious lack of chocolaty-ness. If you’re going to stuff a handful of little candies in your mouth, they might as well be chocolate. Kit Kat is okay, and my granddaughter’s personal favorite, but their little wafers and little crunch cannot overcome Twix’s big cookies and mammoth crunch.

Hershey Kisses is one of the all-time greats, but their day has come and gone, I believe. They are too big to shove a handful in your mouth and too small to be happy with just one at a time. Yes, I said it.

Noteworthy match ups in the first two rounds include Zagnut defeating Baby Ruth (coconut will overcome peanuts for this one time only); Almond Joy over Junior Mints — the latter has never been the same after their hilarious star turn on “Seinfeld” (Google it); Good & Plenty using their scrappy licorice-flavored mojo to squeeze by the messy, Bart Simpson-led Butterfinger team; and Starburst overcoming Pay Day when a cherry one becomes stuck in Pay Day’s throat and nearly chokes it.

The last four in the tournament are candy corn — not even a proper noun and possibly the most hated candy in America; Sour Patch Kids — candy should be sweet, nee must be sweet, not sour; SweeTARTS — see the previous comment; and Laffy Taffy — defeated by Bit-O-Honey in a sticky, floss-inducing play-in game.

Gary Bennett is a longtime Frederick resident who spends his time hiking, biking, volunteering and providing childcare for grandchildren. He is married and retired from his career as a nonprofit marketing executive.

Relive the timeless hits of ABBA

By Gary Bennett

The Concert: A tribute to ABBA will come to Frederick Oct 13

This article appears in the October 10, 2024 edition of Frederick News-Post’s “72 Hours” entertainment magazine.

I remember ABBA so well. Like a shooting star, the Swedish pop group came and went quickly. They burst on the scene in 1974 with a unique sound that featured rich female harmonies with backing vocals from a couple of satisfied-to-be-in-the-background males. But by the early ‘80s, they were finished as big hit makers.

But for those six or seven years, they were a group to be reckoned with — a global phenomenon of epic proportions and Sweden’s biggest “export” to the world.

On Oct. 13, we can relive the timeless hits of the ‘70s and early ‘80s as The Concert: A Tribute to ABBA takes center stage at the Weinberg Center for the Arts in Frederick.

Their music was bubblegum “poppy,” decidedly up-tempo and definitely “feminine.” As a male teenager in the ’70s, I couldn’t really admit to liking them, as I could with female rockers like, say, the band Heart. More than once, I had to quickly turn the radio down as pals piled into my car.

To say ABBA’s sound was unique would be an understatement. They are still immediately recognizable on certain Sirius XM channels and streaming services today.

The band was comprised of four members, and that’s how they got their name. Benney Andersson and Bjorn Ulvaeus (the two B’s in ABBA) wrote and produced all the songs and played piano and guitar. Agnetha Fältskog and Anni-Frid Lyngstad (the two A’s) sang the rich vocals while wearing very short mini-skirts and other dazzling costumes.

Like most bands, ABBA was no overnight success. The ABBA story began in Sweden in 1966 when Bjorn and Benny, who were playing for different bands, met and wrote their first songs together. In 1969 they met the women who would become their wives and musical partners.

After a few years of toiling and achieving modest success in Sweden, they entered a singing contest with the song “Waterloo” and won. Soon, “Waterloo” was No. 1 all over Europe and reached the top 10 in the U.S in 1974. About 18 months later in 1976, they hit it big again on the U.S. charts with “SOS” taken off their third album.

Later that year, “Mamma Mia,” perhaps their most widely known song because of the musical and movie, was released and spent time at No. 1 in the U.K. and amazingly, 10 weeks at No. 1 in Australia. Crikey! In the U.S., “Mamma Mia” peaked only at number 63. This song, however, established them as reliable hit makers and one of the most popular groups in the world.

Then, 1977 brought hits like “Fernando” and the ever popular “Dancing Queen,” the latter being ABBA’s only No. 1 U.S. single. That one will get you up and onto the dance floor even today.

In 1978, ABBA’s fourth original album “Arrival” was released and spawned hits “Money, Money, Money” and “Knowing Me, Knowing You.” Later that year, they completed a sold-out, worldwide tour, completed a feature film called “ABBA: The Movie” and their newest album called, naturally, “ABBA: The Album.”

The hits began to wane in 1979 as one of the married couples announced their divorce. This did not mean the complete end to ABBA, however. They completed their final tour in Japan in 1980 but also found the time and geniality to complete the “Super Trouper” album. In 1981 the other married couple divorced, effectively ending ABBA’s reign as one of the most unlikely top pop groups in the world.

A revival of sorts came in 1999 when the musical “Mamma Mia” premiered in London. It opened on Broadway two years later and became a cultural phenomenon. To date, more than 60 million people have seen it in over 400 cities. A successful movie version starring Meryl Streep and Pierce Brosnan was released in July 2008.

Today, ABBA is regarded as one of the all-time classic pop acts, acknowledged by their 2010 induction into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame. All four group members are still alive, doing well and living in Sweden.

IF YOU GO:
The Concert: A Tribute to ABBA will start at 7:30 p.m. Oct. 13 at the Weinberg Center, 20 W. Patrick St., Frederick. Tickets start at $40 and are available at weinbercenter.org, by calling the box office at 301-600-2828, or in person.

Gary Bennett is a longtime Frederick resident who spends his time hiking, biking, volunteering and providing childcare for grandchildren. He is married and retired from his career as a nonprofit marketing executive.

It’s Festival Season in Hardy County WV

By Gary Bennett

Late 18th century historical cabin that is open during Heritage Weekend in Mathias

This article appears in the Fall 2024 edition of Day Tripper Magazine.

If you long to be “far from the madding crowd,” as Thomas Hardy famously wrote, then Hardy County is the fall and winter destination for you. With just about 15,000 residents in the entire county, you’ll have plenty of room to stretch out and rediscover small-town America. And when you’re ready to mingle, check out these fall festivals.

Hardy County Heritage Weekend Festival

The Hardy County Tour & Craft Association sponsors this countywide festival, which will be held from Sept. 27 to 29. This celebration of the rich history and rural life of Hardy County showcases delectable foods, music and arts, craft shows, car shows, home tours, walking tours and Civil War encampments.

Now in its 71st year, the festival began as a way to raise funds for the public library, and Hardy County has continued that proud tradition. Each year, a historic home is chosen for immortality by placing its image on a decorative tile for display at the library. This year the honored home is the Lost River General Store.

The festival’s Americana-inspired house tour will include historic homes and buildings that represent an event in Hardy County history.

For more information on Hardy County’s Heritage Weekend Festival, visit heritageweekend.com or call 304-530-0280.

Pizza oven at Lost and Found Pizza in Mathias

Wardensville Fall Festival

Tucked away in the northeast corner of Hardy County, just 20 miles from Route 81 near Winchester, lies the charming village of Wardensville. Their fall festival will be held Oct. 11 to 13 and is set to feature more than 100 vendors, a parade, crafting demonstrations, artists painting, a car show, performances, bingo, fire truck rides, a cookout and the crowning of the parade marshalls. All proceeds benefit the Capon Valley Volunteer Fire Company.

For more information, call 304-874-3424.

Check out Visit Hardy’s website, visithardywv.com, throughout the fall for updates on other festivals that weren’t confirmed by press time, like the WV Turkey Festival & Pageant in Mathias.

Moorefield’s Holidays on Ice

In early December, you can enjoy the town of Moorefield’s Christmas Tree Lighting and Parade on Main Street, sponsored by the Moorefield Lions Club. Then, keep the fun going and strap on those ice skates at Moorefield’s Town Park for free ice skating.

Beginning around Thanksgiving, Moorefield’s “Holidays on Ice” highlights their cozy winter wonderland. Each weekend through early February, the town provides a new batch of activities to keep the holiday spirit alive. A concession stand run by a different community organization each week plies visitors with tasty hot dogs, pepperoni rolls, popcorn, desserts, and hot cocoa as patrons while away the hours on the ice.

Some skating sessions are geared toward teens with disc jockeys blasting out popular tunes, while others cater to the younger set with arts and crafts, such as make-your-own snowman or Christmas tree.

The Moorefield Town Park is at 220 Spring Ave. For more information, visit mfldparks@hardynet.com or call 304-530-6142.

Moorefield’s Holiday on Ice

The Maine Squeeze: A summer trip here is delightful

By Gary Bennett

The West Quoddy Lighthouse in Maine

Thus article appears in the September 5, 2024, issue of the Frederick News-Post’s “72 Hours” entertainment insert.

It was the beginning of summer here in the “land of pleasant living” in 2022, and the heat was already oppressive. My wife and I wanted to get away to somewhere with bright, 70-degree days and cool, 50-degree nights. In other words, we wanted a Maryland fall but with beaches and ocean.

We’ve tried the Shenandoah Valley and the Poconos. Both are great, of course, but can’t deliver on beaches and ocean. Ocean City has the beaches and ocean but not the weather (or slower pace) that we wanted. Enter our Maine discussion! We decided to spend a week exploring the state.

First, let’s get our bearings. Maine is the northeastern-most U.S. state and the largest (by far) but least populated of the New England states. Maine is well known for many things: its jagged, rocky coastline; sandy beaches like Old Orchard and Ogunquit; colorful maritime history; picturesque lighthouses; fresh, tasty lobsters; enormous moose; seemingly never-ending white pine trees; Mount Katahdin, one end of the Appalachian Trail; and untouched natural areas like Acadia National Park.

We went into this trip wondering why one of Maine’s nicknames is “vacationland,” but after a few days, we wondered no more. Spending a week in Maine was perhaps the most satisfying vacation we’ve taken. Everything was just so perfect: friendly people, charming accents, quirky places with Native American-inspired names, remarkably fresh food, breathtaking scenery and a satisfyingly slow pace of life.

Largest lobster in the world at Taste of Maine

We set off for Maine in our comfy SUV in June 2022, heading up the East Coast on I-95 to make good time. We had already booked two stops at cozy bed and breakfasts in Kennebunk and Bar Harbor. Since our first Maine stop, Kennebunk, is about 9 hours driving time from Frederick, we decided to stay overnight in New York City and take in a Broadway show. The next day, we got up early and headed north into coolers temps.

Driving close to the coast, we passed the heavily industrial Connecticut cities of Stamford, Bridgeport and New Haven, home to Yale University. Cruising into watery Rhode Island, we passed by the picturesque state capital of Providence. We carefully made our way around metropolitan Boston and up the coast of New Hampshire, where we finally started to see traffic and the pace of life slow. We departed I-95, no longer wishing to make time, in favor of Route 1 to take in the sights, sounds and scents of small-town life.

The drive through New Hampshire only takes about an hour before you arrive in Maine, perfectly nicknamed on welcome signs as the Pine Tree State.

In another 30 minutes, we were in Kennebunk. Be advised there’s also a Kennebunkport, right on the ocean, of course, and made famous during two presidencies as the summer home of the Bushes. All told, it was a relatively easy 5-hour drive from New York City to Kennebunk.

In Kennebunk, we stayed in a lovely bed and breakfast called The Tides, located right across from Goose Rocks Beach, which is technically part of Kennebunkport and one of the best sandy beaches you’ll find on the Maine coast. We enjoyed almost three miles of soft, white sandy beach that offered incredible views of the Atlantic and some small offshore islands. The tidal pools that form are also a hit during the summer, making a great place to float along in a natural lazy river. This beach is about as family-friendly as it gets in the state and is a favorite to spend time on during the warmer months.

Our three days in Kennebunk flew by as we enjoyed the beach, strolling the beautiful little village and eating at cozy restaurants. As you might imagine, we didn’t starve. We delighted in delicious lobster rolls, wonderful blueberry pancakes with fresh homemade maple syrup tapped from nearby trees and, surprisingly, Texas-sized steaks and fillets. We rented bikes for a lovely excursion up the beach and through neighboring villages, making sure to get back in time to take in a startlingly red “strawberry” moonrise over the ocean at dusk (we’d wondered why folks were traipsing over to the beach with their flashlights in hand).

In Old Orchard Beach, just up the road from Kennebunk, we spent a day at New England’s largest beachfront amusement park, Palace Playland. It was like taking a step back in time. At this family-owned attraction, we enjoyed the old wooden roller coasters, midway-style rides, water slides, carnival games and Maine’s largest arcade. Exhausted after a day in the bright sun cooled by ocean breezes, we decamped back to our friendly Kennebunk B&B to plan our morning departure to Bar Harbor and Acadia National Park.

Boat tour along the rocky Maine coast

On our way, we couldn’t help but stop at Taste of Maine restaurant in Woolwich, about an hour from Kennebunk. There, we found two of the world’s largest lobsters waiting for us. An inflatable lobster, measuring 70 feet long and 12 feet tall, greeted us from the roof. And the “world’s largest lobster roll,” at 2-feet long and packed with over a pound and half of lobster meat, greeted us inside. We didn’t partake, but the views from the back deck were so incredible, we lingered longer than we should have. This place is a must-visit when in the area.

Bar Harbor is about 3 hours northeast of Kennebunk and 2 hours from Woolwich. Sunrise in the summer is at about 4:45 a.m., which can take a little getting used to, but the air is so crisp and cool, you might not mind rising early.

Bar Harbor is a resort town of about 5,000 people that swells to many times that in the summer. Think Ocean City without the boardwalk or crowds. Still, it didn’t seem crowded there when we visited.

Bar Harbor is synonymous with great wealth. Many summer mansions dot the town, and numerous Rockefellers were born here.

Goose Rocks Beach in Kennebunk

We enjoyed strolling the quaint but hilly town while window shopping and reading menu boards, gazing out toward the Atlantic at the many little islands that seem to stand sentinel to the mainland, and walking across the bay. That’s right! Bar Harbor gets its name from a sand and gravel bar that is only visible at low tide, allowing tourists, day trippers, picnickers and hikers to wander about a mile across the bay to lovely Bar Island. It’s not often you get to explore the sea bottom, so we made that trip a few times.

Bar Harbor is also home to a large portion of Acadia National Park, which includes Cadillac Mountain, the highest point in Hancock County. It’s Maine’s only national park and, naturally, the easternmost in the U.S. We took a pleasant one-day excursion up Cadillac Mountain and enjoyed breathtaking views of the Atlantic, numerous tidal pools carved out among the granite rocks and impossibly green forests. A network of carriage roads — a gift from John D. Rockefeller — meanders throughout Acadia, making it easy to get around.

Don’t forget to try the Winter Harbor/Bar Harbor Ferry, one of the best boat tours in Maine. While technically a ferry that shuttles folks back and forth between Winter Harbor to the north and Bar Harbor, this ride on a converted lobster boat is also a scenic tour. For 45 minutes, you get a guided tour of Frenchman’s Bay and several of the islands and landmarks that occupy it between the two towns. Along the way, you’ll get an up-close look at the awesome cliffs of Ironbound Island, the Porcupine Islands, Winter Harbor Lighthouse and usually some wildlife — ocean sunfish, seals, porpoises, waterfowl and even the occasional whale.

There is so much we didn’t see during our weeklong visit to Maine that we can’t wait to go back. After all, Maine is a relatively large state and we stayed mostly “down east,” as the locals say.

Prepare to be spellbound if you take our suggestion and make Maine your next summer vacation destination.

Ellen Bennett arriving in Kennebunkport

Gary Bennett is a longtime Frederick resident who spends his time hiking, biking, volunteering and providing childcare for grandchildren. He is married and retired from his career as a nonprofit marketing executive.

Sad songs to help weather grief

By Gary Bennett

This article appears in the August 29, 2024 issue of the Frederick News-Post’s “72 Hours” entertainment insert.

In honor of National Grief Awareness Day on Aug. 30, I listened to some of the saddest songs ever written and recorded, trying to pick out the saddest ones of all.

I’ve experienced my own share of grief, like most people my age: parents dying, siblings dying, losing jobs and losing love.

But as a volunteer counselor at Camp Jamie — Hospice of Frederick County’s grief camp for children — I’ve also been privy to the heartbreaking grief of kids who’ve lost parents. Nothing compares to that.

At camp, it always surprises me how effective music therapy is with grieving children. There’s just something about sad music that makes you realize you are not alone in your feelings — that others have experienced what you’re experiencing.

So if you’re experiencing some form of grief right now or just need a good cry, I present to you my top 10 saddest rock songs. Most deal with lost love, but there are some exceptions.

My No. 1 sad song not only features being jilted at the altar but also a father dying and a mother dying of grief because her husband died (“the only man she ever loved”). Suicide is contemplated along with the existence of God. All in about 3 minutes!

1. “ALONE AGAIN (NATURALLY)”

Gilbert O’Sullivan, 1971

This obscure Irish singer somehow penned the saddest No. 1 song I’ve ever heard. Amazingly, he never experienced any of the misfortunes he wrote so evocatively about.

“Left standing in the lurch at a church were people saying, ‘My God, that’s tough. She stood him up. No point in us remaining.’”

2. “MY HEART WILL GO ON”

Celine Dion, 1997

This Oscar-winner for best original song for “Titanic” mourns love lost in the most tragic of circumstances. Who can forget the mournful flute arrangement as Rose recalls Jack slipping away into the icy depths?

“Every night in my dreams, I see you, I feel you. That is how I know you go on.”

3. “TEARS IN HEAVEN”

Eric Clapton, 1992

Clapton’s heartfelt ballad stems from unimaginable pain: mourning his 4-year-old son’s death from a fall from a 53-story building in 1991.

“Would you hold my hand, if I saw you in heaven? Would you help me stand, if I saw you in heaven?”

4. “LANDSLIDE”

Fleetwood Mac, 1975

Written and performed by Stevie Nicks, the song contemplates the regret that comes with getting older and things beginning to slip away.

“But time makes you bolder, even children get older, and I’m gettin’ older, too. I’m gettin’ older, too.”

5. “TRACES OF LOVE”

Classics IV, 1969

This ingenious songwriting mechanism uses souvenirs of a failed love affair to recall the pain.

“Faded photograph, covered now with lines and creases. Tickets torn in half, memories in bits and pieces. Traces of love long ago that didn’t work out right.”

6. “AT SEVENTEEN”

Janis Ian, 1975

This Grammy-winner for best pop female performance brutally depicts a teenage girl’s angst at not fitting in but desperately wanting to.

“To those of us who knew the pain of valentines that never came, and those whose names were never called when choosing sides for basketball.”

7. “CAT’S IN THE CRADLE”

Harry Chapin, 1974

Chapin’s only No. 1 song recounts the sad story of a dad who has no time for his young son growing up, but then the grown-up son turns the tables on his now-elderly dad.

“My son turned 10 just the other day. He said, ‘Thanks for the ball, Dad — come on, let’s play. Can you teach me to throw?’ I said, ‘Not today. I got a lot to do.’ He said, ‘That’s OK.’”

8. “BY THE TIME I GET TO PHOENIX”

Glen Campbell, 1967

This Jimmy Webb-penned classic explores the difficulty in leaving a failed romance when the other person still loves you.

“By the time I make Oklahoma, she’ll be sleepin’. She’ll turn softly and call my name out low, and she’ll cry just to think I’d really leave her, though time and time I’ve tried to tell her so.”

9. “DUST IN THE WIND”

Kansas, 1977

This song, featuring a mournful violin arrangement, regrets the fact that human life, with all of its hopes and dreams, is ultimately meaningless in the grand scheme of things.

“I close my eyes, only for a moment, and the moment’s gone. All my dreams pass before my eyes — a curiosity, dust in the wind. All they are is dust in the wind.”

10. “OPERATOR (THAT’S NOT THE WAY IT FEELS)”

Jim Croce, 1972

This tuneful ballad from the star-crossed, blue-collar rocker uses a fleeting friendship with a compassionate telephone operator to finally accept losing his love.

“Operator, could you help me place this call? ‘Cause I can’t read the number that you just gave me. There’s something in my eyes. You know it happens every time I think about the love I thought would save me.”

HONORABLE MENTIONS

Adele’s “Someone Like You,” The Beatles’ “Yesterday,” The Beatles’ “She’s Leaving Home,” Bee Gees’ “How Can You Mend a Broken Heart,” Eric Carmen’s “All By Myself,” The Carpenters’ “Rainy Days and Mondays,” Johnny Cash’s “Hurt,” Tracy Chapman’s “Fast Car,” John Denver’s “(Sometimes I Feel) Like a Sad Song,” Elton John’s “Empty Garden,” George Jones’ “He Stopped Loving Her Today,” Gladys Knight and the Pips’ “Neither One of Us,” Bobby Goldsboro’s “Honey,” Sinead O’Connor’s “Nothing Compares 2 U,” Roy Orbison’s “Crying,” REM’s “Everybody Hurts,” Snow Patrol’s “Chasing Cars” and Hank Williams’ “I’m So Lonesome I Could Cry.”

Gary Bennett is a longtime Frederick resident who spends his time hiking, biking, volunteering and providing childcare for grandchildren. He is married and retired from his career as a nonprofit marketing executive.