Escape to Shenandoah National Park

By Gary Bennett

Gary enjoying a hidden waterfall at Shenandoah National Park.

This article appears in the August 17, 2023, issue of Frederick News-Post’s “72 Hours” entertainment insert.

We are so lucky to live where we live.

Central Maryland is just a stone’s throw away from beaches, big cities, bucolic countryside, iconic rivers and trails, Revolutionary and Civil War history and, of course, the oldest mountains in America.

We are all trying hard to maneuver the hottest summer on record here in the lowlands, but like me, you might just be ready to plan your escape to the cooler climes of our nearby mountains.

The mountains of Western Maryland are easy to get to but small. The ones in West Virginia are larger and more rugged but too far away for a quick trip. Luckily, we have the Blue Ridge Mountains in Virginia right next door. Nothing says mountain retreat more to me than a weekend getaway to Shenandoah National Park in Virginia in the heart of the Blue Ridge.

Shenandoah National Park covers 311 square miles in Northen Virgina from Front Royal to Waynesboro, encompassing 196,000 acres of pristine wilderness. It was established in 1935 and designed for everyday Americans in their new-fangled motor cars to experience the allure and grandeur of the mountains. The peaks range from about 2,000 feet at the beginning and end of the park to 3,700 feet near the middle at aptly-named Skyland near Thorofare Mountain. Small, when compared to the Rocky Mountains, but much older.

Shenandoah is a long and relatively skinny park that boasts world-famous Skyline Drive. It is the focus and hopping off point for all the best park attractions. A national scenic byway, Skyline Drive is Shenandoah National Park for most people. It famously meanders back and forth across the tops of the peaks and runs right down the center of the park for over 100 miles.

Skyline Drive is famous for providing access to beautiful mountain vistas that would otherwise be unobtainable for most of us. You’ll want to take advantage of over 75 scenic overlooks with names like Gooney Run, Hogwallow Flats, Stoney Man, Hawksbill Gap and Naked Creek. You will be tempted to stop at each one to take in all the sights, sounds and fresh air. You’ll see the Shenandoah River and Shenandoah Valley to the west and the rolling hills of the Virginia piedmont to the east. 

It will take you about three hours to leisurely cover the 100 plus miles from start to finish. But it is well worth it. You won’t feel a need to go any faster than the 35 mile-per-hour speed limit or honk at the motorist ahead of you as you roll along. I swear I can feel my blood pressure decreasing and sensory perception increasing every time I make this drive.

Shortly after entering the park in Front Royal, stop at Dickey Ridge Visitor Center to get your bearings and to pick up a few snacks. Next, take advantage of the many scenic overlooks I mentioned. A particular favorite of mine is Hogback Overlook, looking west to the valley and George Washington National Forest. If you’d like to stretch your legs, try Hawksbill Summit, which rewards you with a couple of hidden waterfalls and breathtaking peak that is easy to climb. Many Skyline Drive trails connect with the Appalachian Trail.

Please note there is a fee to enter the park whether you are staying or simply driving through. As of this writing, the fee for a private car is $30, which includes unlimited entry and exit for up to seven days. Throughout the year there are some free days.  Consult https://www.goshenandoah.com/ for more information.

One of nearly 100 breathtaking overlooks on Skyline Drive.

Getting There:

It couldn’t be easier to get to Shenandoah National Park. 

Simply drive west and then south on Route 340 right out of Frederick for about an hour and a half, covering about 70 miles to the doorstep of the park in Front Royal, Virginia. No other roads are necessary. Along the way, you’ll enjoy peaceful country scenery, plentiful farm stands and country stores, the charm of Charlestown, WV, and Winchester, VA, and more beautiful red maple trees and mountain laurel than you can count. 

When to Go:

This is completely up to you because every season offers something spectacular. You simply can’t go wrong.

Spring comes late to this part of the country and a definite chill fills the air until late-May. It has been known to snow as late as early June.

Summer brings a shining clarity to all the deep greens in the ridges and hollows. Birds are nesting and seem to sing non-stop from early morning to early evening. Skies are clear blue with white puffy clouds seeping in around the peaks.

Autumn is prime time at Shenandoah National Park. A coolness and crispness fills the air. Brilliant fall colors seem to burst from the trees. Hikers abound. Birds are at their most active preparing for their southward migration.

Even winter offers a quiet snow-covered stillness that is hard to forget.

What to Do:

One can do very little at the park and feel completely content. Stop along the side of Skyline Drive at one of the many picnic areas and enjoy a quiet lunch. Curl up in your cabin with a favorite book. Snooze the day away at one of many comfy loungers available at camps and visitor’s center. 

For the more adventurous among us you can hike on over 500 miles of trails including the Appalachian Trail, which cuts a large swath through the park.

Waterfall chasing and bird watching during the day and star gazing at night are two of the more popular activities.

I highly recommend taking in any programs the numerous park rangers offer. Their knowledge and love of the park is palpable, plus, they have all the best stories to tell.

At the two park resorts, Skyland and Big Meadows, you can take advantage of expertly prepared programs. Note that some are free when staying at the resorts and some require paying an extra fee. Again, consult https://www.goshenandoah.com/ for more information.

Some of our favorite activities besides hiking and finding hidden waterfalls include:

  • Map and compass navigation – guides take away your technology and you must fend for yourself. Don’t worry, you can do it.
  • Horseback riding – it’s about $60 for one hour at Skyland, but trust me, one hour will be enough time to see the sights from a whole new perspective.
  • Rock climbing – don’t worry, they have excursions (and rocks) appropriate for both novices and experts.
  • Basket-making – a local artisan will lead you in making your very own white oak basket.
  • The ever-popular whiskey and wine shuttle takes you down to the lowlands to relax, partake and listen to stories about the park along the way.
You are high enough to appreciate the clouds from their tops.

Where to Stay

Shenandoah National Park features varied lodging options sure to satisfy every taste – from back-country camping to city-slicker glamping. If you wish, you can pitch a tent in the back country or stay at a spacious, luxurious lodge at one of the two park resorts — Skyland or Big Meadows.

The park also has four main campgrounds that are operated by the National Park Service and are open spring through fall:

  • Mathews Arm Campground (at mile 22.2) 
  • Big Meadows Campground (at mile 51) 
  • Lewis Mountain Campground (at mile 57.2) 
  • Loft Mountain Campground (at mile 79.5)

Skyland resort is about 41 miles into your trip on Skyline Drive and is located at the park’s highest peak, about 3,700 feet high.

Big Meadows resort is located just a few miles down the road from Skyland and is just a bit lower in elevation. It does feature beautiful Dark Hollows Falls and the handy Byrd Visitor Center. 

Lodging at both resorts range from premium hotel-like rooms and suites to small, detached cabins. They even have pet friendly rooms.

Summer prices range from about $150 per night for a cabin with two double beds and very few amenities to about $400 a night for a preferred room with all the amenities you’d expect at a fine hotel. Seniors 62 and older receive a 10 percent discount.  Military members and first responders also qualify for special rates. Prices go up a bit in the fall. 

I recommend you go with a rustic cabin to get a better mountain retreat experience. Some rooms have TVs and some don’t. Ditch the TV and other technology and instead play a board game to pass the evening, at least until it’s time to star gaze.

Of course, you’ll want a fireplace, especially in the spring or fall. There is nothing better than collapsing into your comfy bed after a day of hiking and starting a cozy fire in your very own fireplace. Unfortunately, in-room fireplaces are unavailable for the 2023 season due to an ongoing rehabilitation project.

The Appalachian Trail cuts a wide swath through the park.

What to Eat

Suffice it to say that you won’t go hungry at the four campgrounds, which are well supplied with nearby camp stores, or at the two resorts.

Skyland and Big Meadows feature several pleasing dining options.

Skyland’s Pollock Dining Room serves regional, flavorful specialties like wild game with wonderful views of the Shenandoah Valley. The spacious dining room is wood-paneled and smells amazing. And don’t miss out on the house specialty desert — Mile-High Blackberry Ice Cream Pie!

There’s also a Grab ‘n Go market and the Mountain Taproom for snacks, drinks and live entertainment in a casual setting.

At Big Meadows Lodge, Spottswood Dining Room guests can enjoy dishes like Roosevelt’s roasted or fried chicken (named after the president who dedicated the park) or the New Deal roast turkey plate. Outdoor patio seating is now available.

The New Market Taproom provides craft beer, local wines, snacks and live entertainment.  Or, you can order lunch to go at the front desk.

As you drive along after your stay, whether it be north or south, several waysides will keep you well fed, gassed up and ready to buy souvenirs:

  • Elkswallow Wayside (at mile 24.)
  • Big Meadows Wayside (at mile 51)
  • Loft Mountain Wayside (at mile 79)
Sunset over the Shenandoah Valley and George Washington National Forest.

Best ice cream in Frederick

By Gary Bennett

Selection from Rocky Point Creamery in Point of Rocks

This article appears in the “72 Hours” entertainment insert of the August 10, 2023 issue of the Frederick News-Post.

With all due respect to the “Best of Frederick” rankings put out by this newspaper and Frederick Magazine, they only list the top three ice cream shops in and around Frederick. With temperatures the way they are and ice cream as delicious as it is, that’s just not enough! 

Therefore, I list for you below the top ten ice cream spots in and around Frederick city.

This is not just what I say, but also what hundreds of readers say. No, not my readers, but the readers of all media outlets I could find, both print and online, that rank Frederick’s ice cream offerings. My ranking below averages the rankings from all these sources:  Frederick News-Post, Frederick Magazine, Trip Advisor, Yelp, Housewives of Frederick, and Frederick’s Child and adds in mine, too.

You may have your own favorite shop that is much closer to your own neighborhood. Nothing wrong with that. I have my neighborhood Bruster’s, which is great in a pinch. But if I’m out on the town or have a few hours to kill, you better believe I’m doing the mental calculations needed to ascertain the closeness and wonderfulness of my favorite ice cream shops.

Please note that I hold nothing against franchises, and I’m willing to also consider frozen custard and frozen yogurt. As for soft serve vs. regular ice cream, I’m a bit partial to regular but hold nothing against soft serve. You may feel differently on all counts.

I have visited all the shops in my top ten. Not all at one time, of course, but if I wanted to, Google Maps says I can do it in one hour and thirty-five minutes, not counting waiting time.

10. North Market Pop Shop – Ice cream plays second fiddle to the amazing pop selection here, but it is still very good.

9.   Little Red Barn – Wonderful selection of ice cream served in a pretty, quaint, cozy shop in Jefferson.

8.   Frederick Fudge and Ice Cream – A Frederick institution, but it sometimes can be an afterthought. Ice cream shares equal billing with fudge somehow.

7.   Bruster’s – my neighborhood shop where everyone knows my name (not really.) Very nice butter pecan with large pecans.

6.   Jimmie Cone – the sprinkles on their delicious soft serve cones are colorful and different but work perfectly.

5.   Beef N Buns N Paradise – an old standby that screams “Frederick” and eating ice cream at the beach.

4.   Hoffman Brothers – Owned by two young brothers. New in town but very good and worth a try.  Terrific chocolate chip cookie dough.

3.    South Mountain Creamery – very fresh with a nice sampler platter and perhaps the best ambiance of them all.

2.    Rita’s – frozen custard so rich and creamy, you don’t lick, you bite it!

1.    Rocky Point Creamery – astonishingly fresh, delicious, and with so many flavors. Wonderful cherry-vanilla ice cream. Worth the drive to Point of Rocks.

Honorable Mentions: Baskin-Robbins, Cold Stone Creamery, Dairy Queen, Gateway Candyland, Pizza and Pretzel Creations and Sweeties.

No information Available (if you are willing to provide samples so I can properly rank you, I am amenable): Glamourview Creamery – Walkersville, Happy Cow Creamery – Union Bridge, More Ice Cream – Middletown, Ripleigh’s Creamery – Emmitsburg, Sweet Babe’s Creamery – Urbana, and Woodbourne Creamery at Rock Hill Orchard – Mt.Airy.

Getaways: You’ll fall for ‘The Falls’

By Gary Bennett

Maid of the Mist

This article appears in the Frederick News-Post’s “72 Hours” entertainment insert, July 13, 2023.

Just like Las Vegas and Washington, D.C., Niagara Falls is pretty much a one industry town. But oh, what an industry!

It’s typical to think of Niagara Falls as quintessentially American—the one-time de facto destination for newlywed couples from all over America. And part of it is in America, but the main city of Niagara Falls is completely within Ontario, Canada, along with most of the actual falls, too. The Canadian Niagara Falls city is larger than you might expect with over 94,000 full-time residents, making it just a little larger than Frederick. Across the river, Niagara Falls, New York, is the little sister with a population of about 48,000,

When you saunter down just about any street in Niagara Falls, Ontario, as long as you’re headed downhill, you’ll eventually come upon “The Falls.” That’s what all the locals call it and what all the signs proclaim in caps.

The first glimpse is absolutely breathtaking.

Horseshoe Falls, Canada — the main part of Niagara Falls

The mist emanating from The Falls makes it difficult to see the bottom. The roar is deafening and the mist is omnipresent even relatively far away. The falling water provides a perpetual breeze, much like the ocean. Temperatures can be 10 degrees cooler than in the center of the city. The Falls have eaten away at the banks of the Niagara River to form a very wide, deep gorge.

You’ll be surprised that there are actually three falls within sight.

There is American Falls, the medium-sized one that features a rocky bottom, the smaller Bridal Veil Falls, so named because of what it sauggests, and the large, picturesque Horseshoe Falls, the one we see in our mind and the one perfectly shaped like a horseshoe. Horseshoe Falls is entirely within Canada. American and Bridal Veil Falls are on the American side. The Niagara River famously separates Canada and the U.S. at this point.

American Falls, New York, USA — part of Niagara Falls

It is estimated there are about 500 waterfalls in the world that are taller than Niagara Falls, but there is none that accounts for such a heavy volume of water. It is estimated that over 75,000 gallons of water head over the falls each second.  

Niagara Falls was formed eons ago by the Niagara River cascading over very hard rock while perpetually eating away at the softer bedrock further downstream. The collision is so intense that an ever-growing gorge has been formed. Experts say that American Falls will lose its waterfall status and become just a series of rapids in the not-too-distant future.

And yes, many daredevils since the 1920s have attempted to ride over The Falls in barrels and other strange contraptions. Many have made it but some have died. This activity is now illegal in both counties. You might remember that Nic Wallenda had special permission to traverse The Falls by tightrope about a decade ago and made it. Thankfully.

Getting there

Getting to Niagara Falls is relatively easy. One can fly, of course. Niagara Falls International Airport features carriers such as Spirit and Allegiance leaving from Baltimore. Or, you can fly into Buffalo fairly inexpensively on many carriers, but then it is still a 30-minute ride to Niagara Falls.

I love road trips so I recommend driving to Niagara Falls.

From Frederick, it’s about 400 miles or a relatively short, scenic 6.5-hour drive mostly up Route 15 North past Gettysburg, Harrisburg and Williamsport, Pennsylvania, and on to Rochester, New York. Hang a left in Rochester on Route 90 and, before you know it, you’re driving past Buffalo to the Canadian border.

You will cross the aptly named Peace Bridge from the U.S. into Canada.  No two countries share such a large, peaceful border. Have your passports ready. Agents are friendly but busy. They may ask you where you are from and where you are going. Practice this. Don’t do as I did and fumble over your words! They may also ask you to roll down your windows for a better look inside. Be ready for this, too. Don’t have all your windows going up and down at the same time like me. No doubt I was lucky to be admitted.

When we drove to The Falls in early June, it was off-season. I highly recommend this time of year or even a bit earlier. Lines are relatively short and hotel rooms are plentiful. Be ready for slow service, though. Going in the winter or fall affords the same advantages but the weather can be sketchy—think lake-effect snow. The Falls are undeniably beautiful in the winter too, since much of it freezes.

Things are expensive as in most resort towns, and you’ll be paying in Canadian dollars, which makes things seem even more expense. Be sure to use your credit or debit card to pay for everything. Let your bank figure out the exchange rate.

View from one of many nearby hotel rooms

What To Do

There are many things to keep you occupied at The Falls other than staring in awe at the cascading water. But don’t worry, the attractions are not as kitschy as you might expect, only pleasingly so.

There are two sides to The Falls – the American and Canadian. The American side, somehow, has remained mostly under-developed and natural. There are some exceptions, of course. The Canadian side, however, is where you’ll find most of the action.

The city has done a wonderful job of making The Falls area quite pedestrian friendly. There is the requisite visitor center on one end near Horseshoe Falls — complete with movie theater, restaurant, overlook vantage points, a restaurant, and shops – and the entrance to scenic tours and the province (not state) park near American Falls at the other end.

I highly recommend a trip on the Maid of the Mist on the American side or its counterpart, the Hornblower, on the Canadian. These boats will cruise you past American and Bridal Veil Falls and right up to the mouth of Horseshoe Falls. They leave every 30 minutes.

Full disclosure: you will get drenched from the heavy mist near the base of The Falls, but you’ll love every minute of it! Besides, you will be outfitted with a handsome, complimentary slicker before departing. The trip out and back to Horseshoe Falls takes only about 20 minutes since you depart within eyesight of The Falls. The trip costs about $28 Canadian for adults and $16 Canadian for kids. Children under five are free.

Another worthwhile endeavor is “Journey Behind the Falls.”  It is well named. You descend by elevator several stories below the welcome center and make your way through a manmade tunnel to two viewpoints behind The Falls and to an observation deck beside the base of The Falls.

View from base of The Falls

Be forewarned that if you are claustrophobic, you will not like the long walk in the tunnels. I preferred the view below and beside The Falls on the observation deck to suitably represent its sheer power and magnitude. The view behind The Falls at the two 50-foot cut out portals reminded me more of looking out the window on a very stormy day. There was not too much you could see. Journey Behind the Falls costs $24 Canadian for adults and $16 Canadian for kids.

From just about any hotel room near The Falls you can enjoy the nightly illumination in multi colors at dusk and fireworks at 10 pm. This was a highlight of our trip. It is striking to see so much color and power at the same time. And it was free!

One thing I wish I had done is visit The Falls overnight. Horseshoe Falls reportedly becomes a dribble from midnight to about 5 am due to the diversion of the rushing water to nearby electricity-generating power plants.

A few new and expensive attractions have been added in the last several years.

There is now a zip line that hurtles passengers on a ride of about a quarter of a mile beside The Falls. It was entertaining listening to the shrieks of the passengers as they glided by. Cost: about $70 Canadian per person.

Skylon Tower is a 520-foot tower you can ascend by elevator for an unparalleled view. At the top you can enjoy a rotating restaurant. And yes, try the poutine. Cost: about $55 Canadian per person but if you eat at the restaurant, it is free.

Falls View Casino sits right beside The Falls gorge and offers all you would expect from a casino. And like many resort towns, Niagara Falls also has a large Ferris wheel or “eye” to ride and view The Falls.

Finally, I recommend taking a side trip to the town of Niagara on the Lake during your stay in Canada. It is a pleasant 20-minute drive north to Lake Ontario and this pretty little town of about 20,000. There, you’ll find quaint shops and eateries, numerous wineries, clean streets, manicured parks, friendly people and beautiful, colorful flowers planted all around town.

Be careful! You can stand mere feet away from impending doom.

Great American Road Trip, Fredericktonian-style

by Gary Bennett

Golden Gate Bridge, San Francisco, CA

This article appears in Frederick News-Post’s “72 Hours” entertainment insert, June 7, 2023.

“You do want sweet tea, right sugah?” the slightly overweight, middle-aged waitress drawled as I sunk into my comfy booth at Stuckey’s just off Interstate 59 in southern Alabama.  “Oh yes, sweet tea would be great”, I said, as she scribbled in het ticket book.  “That’s a good thing, sugah,” Doris said, “because you’re in the South now and that’s all we got.” I overlooked the logic of that statement much as you would overlook your mom asking you to wear clean shorts in the car because you never know when you’ll be in an accident. It might not make sense, but she means well.

Ah yes, Doris’s sweetness reminded me there’s nothing like a good road trip. 

Once the bastion of the middle class, Americans of all stripes are now loading up the family car for getaways far and wide. According to U.S. Travel Association, Americans logged 1.8 billion person‐trips of 50 miles a more with an overnight stay for leisure purposes in 2018. That means that, on average, every man, woman, and child in the U.S. took five such leisure trips in 2018. 

There used to be a bit of a stigma attached to traveling long distances by car, especially if you fancied yourself upwardly mobile with a little bit of money in the bank and are traveling more than a few hundred miles. After all, why wouldn’t you fly?  Saves a lot of time, right?  Well, sort of.  More on that in a minute. Kind of glamorous, right?  Uh, no.

I’m sorry to confirm what you already know in your heart about air travel: there is nothing glamorous about it, and it comes with monumental downsides. First, there’s the expense. Second, the inconvenience. Third, the angst of finding the best deal. Then throw in all the idle time waiting in lines, constant delays, surly agents, glum and germy strangers, crowded conditions, random cancellations, weather problems, terrorist threats, seats designed by Marquis de Sade worshipers, bad food, and nothing being in control, and I’m not sure why anyone flies who doesn’t have to. As for saving time, once you factor in getting to the airport, all the waiting and delays, transfers, and getting a rental car and driving to your final destination, the time savings gap closes up faster than a liquor store on Christmas Eve.  

I’m here to witness that if God intended us to fly everywhere, he wouldn’t have created the magnificent U.S. Interstate Highway System, or more precisely, provided the wherewithal for humans to create it. Our interstate system efficiently gets us into every nook and cranny of our great country with very little planning needed. It puts a map of the human body’s circulation system to shame.

If you have the notion and time, you can start off early tomorrow morning from Frederick and be in sunny Tampa, Florida, by night fall.  I’ve done that myself many times. Our country is just the right size for such escapades – neither too large nor too small. I envy all those adventurous souls who claim to have driven coast to coast. That’s not such a big deal in, say, Croatia.

My wife Ellen and I wanted to do something special for New Year’s Eve last year, so we made plans to drive 2,200 miles round-trip from Frederick to New Orleans. What better place to solemnly celebrate the beginning of the new year than New Orleans, right?

We could have flown, sure, but didn’t even consider it. Okay, I’m sure Ellen did. After all, I’m not the world’s best driver, as she will attest. But in my defense, I am cheerful and quite enthusiastic. The call of the open road and chance for adventure is just too great for me to pass up. And to my wife’s lasting credit, she is usually willing to overlook the small stuff with me, much as you would a child.

Now, you can’t just head off without a plan. I have several “rules of the road” that I’ve found are necessary in order to make the most of one’s road trip and to bring order to what can be a chaotic endeavor. I am happy to share them here.

My first driving rule is fairly minor but unassailable: the driver controls the music. This may seem unfair (and maybe it is because I drive most of the way) but consider the fact that I, like many drivers, depend on pounding rock music to help propel me down the road. If this were not so, there would be no such things as road trip songs. Further, I believe it has been scientifically proven the nerves in our ears are directly connected to our gas pedal foot.

Why, Sirius XM even has a channel devoted to road trip music. All-time favorites like Steppenwolf’s Born to be Wild and Magic Carpet Ride and Bruce Springsteen’s Born to Run are guaranteed to keep you moving along at a clip just under speeding ticket level. It helps that my wife enjoys the same music I do. I think. Anyway, I’m not a total despot. All Ellen has to do is start bobbing away to a song she likes and I will immediately vacate my rule on a temporary basis and stick with that song for the duration. Bruce Hornsby songs, inexplicably, are a particular favorite of hers.

My second driving rule allows the passenger to control the in-car temperature and to decide when and where to stop. Unless a really good song comes on.

Pike’s Peak, Colorado

You may think that driving long distances is excruciatingly boring. Hah! (I mean, yes, you’re right – please stay off the roads.) But, my third driving rule helps overcome the boredom: You must always consider the people who live and work in the towns and cities you pass by and get to know a few. How do they live? What do they care about?

Fortunately, the need for gas, food, and shall we say “rest” provide ample opportunity to converse with the locals. That’s how I’ve made so many temporary friends over the years – mostly waitresses, convenience store clerks, and the occasional police officer – who are happy to share how they live, work, and what’s going on in town that week.

Take Crystal, our waitress at a New York-style deli in Roanoke, Virginia.

Imagine my surprise when I walked up to the cash register to pay our lunch bill with my credit card, as I always do, but was matter-of-factly informed by Crystal, “We don’t take credit cards—work of the devil. Cash or check only, sweetie.” She displayed no hint of sorrow or embarrassment and was more than happy to point me to the bar next door to access an ATM. “Happens every day,” she sighed while directing me outside. I think the irony was lost on her that she was sending me to a bar to avoid the hellfire of credit, but it wasn’t my job to point that out. I could have just left without paying, but flustered, I left her my credit card anyway to ensure my return.

Crystal was such a trusting soul, she seemed surprised I would do such a thing. But I wasn’t surprised. I’ve always found people in the South to be more trusting than their Northern counterparts. Maybe it’s the slower pace of life or maybe it’s because they are so nice. You’d feel really bad if you cross them, so you don’t.

My fourth driving rule is to always allow enough time to see a few local landmarks along the way. I’m a sucker for these. My two favorite landmarks on this particular trip were the Chattanooga Choo Choo in well, Chattanooga, Tennessee, and Main Street in the sister cities of Bristol, Tennessee and Bristol, Virginia.

In the case of the sisters, not only are they two next-door cities with coincidentally the same name, but you can stand on Main Street and straddle two states at once! I took advantage of this opportunity, of course. Since I’m 6’2” with long legs, I was able to stand with one foot in Tennessee and one in Virginia. People must do this all the time, so I didn’t feel bad about briefly stopping traffic.

Still, as nice as Southerners typically are, some grew impatient and blew their horns. This attracted the attention of a stern-looking deputy sheriff. When I saw him coming, I ran to the car. The deputy stopped to give me some good advice. “Son, you can’t block traffic like this. Pick one town or the other and get the hell on the sidewalk.”

Bemused, he told me about another place I could go. Literally, not figuratively. He must have researched this to help people like me. “You know, out West, there’s a place where four states come together – Utah, Colorado, New Mexico, and Arizona. They call it the Four Corners, and you can put your arms and legs in all four at once! And better yet, it’s out in the middle of nowhere and far away from here.”

I got the feeling he had imparted this wisdom before.

My fifth driving rule is to always make a bad joke to a total stranger when you can. Makes time go faster. In Chattanooga I stopped at a 7-11 to ask the nice attendant where I could find the famous Chattanooga Choo Choo. On the way in, we saw signs promising it was close by. The attendant, Sidney, seemed ready and willing to help because he’d obviously been asked this question before. But as luck would have it, I had already spotted a cat lounging in the sun on the front sidewalk, and I was ready.

I strolled up to Sidney, pointed, and musically asked “Pardon me, sir, is that the cat that chewed my shoe shoe?”

I laughed loudly. My wife rolled her eyes and moved slowly away. I was pleased with myself, nonetheless. Even though my singing of the old song was spot on, Sidney gave me that classical cocked head, furrowed eyebrow “what-are-you-talking-about” look. I suppose you have to be of a certain age to get that one, and he wasn’t and didn’t.

            There was one sign on the way to New Orleans, though, that particularly caught my eye and rivaled any South of the Border sign. It nearly caused me to swerve onto the shoulder and back up a couple hundred feet to snap a picture. Sadly, I didn’t – Ellen has a better sense of road etiquette than me. Somewhere in rural Tennessee an official looking state-sanctioned sign warns: Rest Stop Ahead, No Oversize Loads

My final driving rule is to pay attention to the signs. You never know when you’ll be rewarded with a nugget of golden wisdom. Aliens landing on one of our interstate highways would surely think “Crazy Eddy” is a very important person and that a “Gentleman’s Lounge” is the seat of power.

I’ll be the first to admit, however, that the signs on the way to New Orleans pale in comparison to the signs on the way to Florida on I-95. Sure, there was “Stay Off Tracks—Trains” and ‘Get Lunch, Gas, and Worms Here” in rural Mississippi. But I-95 in South Carolina has the venerable tourist trap South of the Border. It is a tour de force of politically incorrect creative signage like “Roads’ Scholar,” “No Monkey Business, Joost Yankee Panky” and “Give Pedro the Business.” But the very best one features their intrepid mascot Pedro who assures us that “You’ve Never Sausage a Place; You’re Always a Weiner at Pedro’s” complete with an image of a very large pork product representing their iffy lunch offerings. 

There was a sign on the way to New Orleans, though, that particularly caught my eye and rivaled any South of the Border sign. It nearly caused me to swerve onto the shoulder and back up a couple hundred feet to snap a picture. Sadly, I didn’t. Somewhere in rural Tennessee, an official looking state-sanctioned sign warns: Rest Stop Ahead, No Oversize Loads

Now maybe it is just the way my mind works, but that hardly seems fair when every other exit features a Cracker Barrell, Stuckey’s, or Hardees. Even though I did qualify to stop, I indignantly decided to pass this one by.

The best stoner movies of all time

By Gary Bennett

The first major studio stoner movie in 1978 featured comedy duo, Cheech & Chong

This article appears in Frederick News-Post’s “72 Hours” entertainment insert, June 29, 2023.

Coming of age in the ’70s, I am embarrassed to admit that the golden age of stoner movies was the ‘90s and early ‘00s. During this modern stone(d) age, they were at their haziest, giggliest, munchiest best.

I guess it figures. We boomers are seen as reliably uptight, spotlight-seeking, job-hogging leeches living high on the government dole. Fair enough. Maybe we thought we were cool back then, but obviously not cool enough to have really good stoner movies.

But we did have Cheech and Chong, the amiable Marx Brothers of weed. They were super-cool, barely able to function, and despite not caring about anything except the next buzz, things always seemed to turn out right for them. Yet, their seminal stoner movie, Up in Smoke (1978) appears only at number eight on my top ten list, not able to supplant any of the top stoner flicks of the ‘90s and ‘00s.

On the other hand, Gen X and Millennials, those turn of the century generations, are universally derided as trophy hoarding, video game playing, chicken nugget eating, mom’s basement living, job hopping, spoiled brats. So, is it any wonder that many of the most popular movies of the day would feature pot-smoking slackers? Of course not!

Of my top ten stoner flicks, only Up in Smoke, Fast Times at Ridgemont High (1982), and the granddaddy of them all, Reefer Madness (1936!) were released outside of this pineapple-y “golden” age of stoned-ness.

Even though pot smoking goes back as far as recoded history, it did not become a movement among youth in the U.S. until the jazz era of the ‘20s and ‘30s. Back then, marijuana was considered a dangerous substance, spurring law enforcement officials to push for its ban. Hence, the cautionary documentary-style movie Reefer Madness of 1936.

The counterculture hippies of the ‘60s embraced weed as never before, but it wasn’t until the ‘70s and Up in Smoke that marijuana begin to elbow its way into popular consciousness and Hollywood movies.

Don’t get me wrong. There are some movies like The Wizard of Oz that have nothing to do with marijuana (unless you think Dorothy was tripping instead of suffering from a bump on her head) but are just weird enough to be very entertaining when stoned. Just ask my late 1970s self.

But these movies – my top ten stoner flicks of all time – feature cooler than cool, don’t-give-a-damn characters. Reefer is at its chain smoking finest. It either serves as a central plot device for characters who win in spite of themselves or as an amusing distraction such as with Sean Penn’s classic character Jeff Spicoli in Fast Times at Ridgemont High.

Don’t agree with my list?  Yeah man, well, it’s heavy, but, you know, it is what it is.

10. HALF-BAKED (1998)
Dave Chapelle
This Chapelle-written vehicle captures the whacky antics of stoned friends trying to help another stoned friend who got arrested for killing a police horse by feeding it junk food.
Stoniest line: “Hey, I know this isn’t your responsibility, but mop up the rest of this sh#t and I’ll be right back.”

9. REEFER MADNESS (1936)
Dave O’Brien, Dorothy Short, Lillian Miles
Now days, this cautionary tale of the effects of drug use on America’s youth is hilarious for its earnestness. But not then. Plot focuses on innocent teens being drawn into a “reefer house” and committing a terrible crime while high.
Stoniest line: “This, I understand, can be attributed to marijuana. It causes errors in time and space.”

8. UP IN SMOKE (1978)
Cheech Marin, Tommy Chong

This first studio film aimed at tokers was a runaway hit. Comedy duo Cheech and Chong played lovable stoners who take to the road for wild misadventures including crossing the border in a van made entirely of reefer.
Stoniest line: “Man, if you had a second brain, man, it would die of loneliness.”

7. FRIDAY (1995)
Ice Cube, Chis Tucker
It’s the end of the week and Ice and Chris pass the time on the porch smoking up a heavy haze, philosophizing, avoiding Big Worm and watching the world go by.
Stoniest line: “How in the hell did you get fired on your day off?”

6. HOW HIGH (2001)
Method Man, Redman
The two rap superstars bond after discovering a new crop of weed that makes them geniuses. They go to Harvard but must live by their wits when their stash runs out.
Stoniest line: “How did I fail Women’s Studies? I love bitches!”

5. FAST TIMES AT RIDGEMONT HIGH (1982)
Judge Reinhold, Jennifer Jason Leigh, Sean Penn
, Phoebe Cates
This one’s a bit of a stretch because it’s mostly a weed-less tale of teenage life in the California ‘burbs, but Sean Penn’s classic performance of perpetually stoned surfer dude, Jeff Spicoli, makes it more than worth watching as a stoner flick.
Stoniest line: ““All I need are some tasty waves, a cool buzz and I’m fine,” 

4. PINEAPPLE EXPRESS (2008)
James Franco, Seth Rogan

Two buddies get high on a rare type of grass – “pineapple express”, witness a murder and spend the rest of the movie trying to (hilariously) evade the bad guys.
Stoniest line: “It’s, like, the rarest. It’s almost a shame to smoke it. It’s like killing a unicorn. With, like, a bomb.”

3. HAROLD AND KUMAR GO TO WHITE CASTLE (2004)
John Cho, Kal Penn
The two pals go on a totally baked quest for the perfect little burger. Along the way they ride a cheetah and meet up with a surprisingly crude Neil Patrick Harris.
Stoniest line: “It’s a sausage fest in here, bro. Let’s get us some poontang, and then we’ll go to White Castle. . . . The ‘Doogie’ line always works on strippers!”

2. THE BIG LEBOWSKI (1998)
Jeff Bridges, John Goodman, Julianne Moore, Steve Buscemi
This comic masterpiece features an iconic performance by Jeff Bridges as the chill, bathrobe-wearing, “Dude.” When he’s not bowling, a soiled carpet throws him into seedy L.A. where he fits in well.
Stoniest line: “I bowl. I drive around. [I have] the occasional acid flashback.”

1. DAZED AND CONFUSED (1993)
Jason London, Mathew
McConaughey
This wonderful flick explores the last day of school in 1976 for a group of aimless Texas teens. Marijuana use is rife and plays a central role when the star quarterback bristles at the coach’s “no drugs” pledge.
Stoniest line: “Behind every good man is a woman and that woman is Martha Washington, man, and every day George would come home and she’d have a big, fat bowl waiting for him.”

Honorable Mentions:
Bill and Ted’s Excellent Adventure (2001), Clueless (1995), Easy Rider (1969), Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas (1998), Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back (2001), Superbad (2007), Super Troopers (2001), Ted (2012), This is the End (2013).

Cast of 1993’s Dazed and Confused

Solstice Playlist: Top 10 Classic Summer Songs

By Gary Bennett

This article appears in Frederick News-Post’s “72 Hours” entertainment magazine, June 11, 2023.

With apologies to Nat King Cole, those lazy, hazy, crazy days of summer are here!

So, kick back in the lounger, put on that sunscreen, pour a cold one (lemonade, of course), and warm up your smart speaker. There’s nothing like a good summer song to enhance that lazy, sunny, laid-back feeling you’ve got anyway.

Here are my top 10 classic rock summer songs spanning the ‘60s, ‘70s and ‘80s. Did I miss any of your favorites?

Listen to a few of these and I guarantee you’ll feel great. Enjoy!

10. “WALKING ON SUNSHINE”
Katrina and the Waves, 1983
Tease me if you want but this song represents pure joy for me. Makes me want to skip down the sidewalk with a big ol’ grin on my face!

“I’m walking on sunshine, whoa, oh, and don’t it feel good!”

9. “A SUMMER SONG”
Chad and Jeremy, 1964
A sweet, wistful and melodic song saying goodbye to a summer love.

“And when the rain beats against my window pane, I’ll think of summer days again, and dream of you.”


8. “HERE COMES THE SUN”
The Beatles, 1969
You’ll know this classic after the first few melodic notes from George’s six-string. George Harrison wrote it after a particularly harsh English winter.

“The smiles returning to the faces….., here comes the sun, and I say, it’s alright.”


7. “SUNSHINE ON MY SHOULDERS”
John Denver, 1974
A classic, slow, simple song sung from the heart that contemplates the magic of sunshine and wishes you peace and happiness.

“If I had a day I could give you, I’d give to you a day just like today. Sunshine on my shoulders makes me happy.”

6. “BOYS OF SUMMER”
Don Henley, 1984
This Grammy award winner explores aging and losing a past love with a wink toward the national pastime.

“I can tell you, my love for you will still be strong, after the boys of summer have gone.”

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=672F2t5dVeY

5. “UNDER THE BOARDWALK”
The Drifters, 1964
Such a smooth, iconic and carefree song. It could easily be number one but was a little before my time. I don’t have memories of it popping up on the radio. I know many of you do, though!

“Under the boardwalk, down by the see, yeah, on a blanket with my baby, that’s where I’ll be.”

4. “SUMMER BREEZE”
Seals and Crofts, 1972
The dynamic duo of ’70s weenie-rock scored a big hit with this ode to pure day-to-day happiness in the summer of ’72.

“Summer breeze makes me feel fine, blowin’ like the jasmine in my mind.”
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MsW8rXPcnM0

3. “IN THE SUMMERTIME”
Mungo Jerry, 1970
Has there ever been a goofier, happier, wildly carefree song than this classic from the one-hit wonderful Mungo Jerry?  Extra points for the long sideburns and strange sounds emanating from their musical jug.

“In the summertime, when the weather is hot, you can stretch up and nourish the sun.”


2. “SUMMER IN THE CITY”
Lovin’ Spoonful, 1966
John Sebastian nailed the edgy vibe of a hot and gritty urban landscape complete with spouting fire hydrants and blaring car horns. This one burst out of the radio the summer of ‘66.

“Hot town, summer in the city, back of my neck getting’ dirt and gritty. But at night, it’s a different world.”

1. “HOT FUN IN THE SUMMERTIME”
Sly and the Family Stone, 1969
The essence of cool from a great 7-piece band. The lyrics are strange but the vocals and tune are just amazing. The song meanders along, not in rush, just like the lazy summer days they sing about.

“That’s when I had most of my fun, back, hi, hi, hi, hi there, them summer days, those summer days.”

Honorable Mentions:

Bryan Adams’ “Summer of ’69,” Bananrama’s “Cruel Summer,” Beach Boys’ “Kokomo,” Jimmy Buffett’s “Margaritaville,” Chicago’s “Saturday in the Park,” Cheryl Crow’s “Soak up the Sun,” Ella Fitzgerald’s “Summertime,” Go Gos’ “Vacation,” Kid Rock’s “All Summer Long,” The Kinks’ “Sunny Afternoon,” Otis Redding’s “Sitting on the Dock of the Bay,” Spanky and Our Gang’s “Lazy Day,” War’s “Summer” and Bill Withers’ “Lovely Day.”

Confessions of an “Adopt-a-Road”-er

By Gary Bennett

Succinct analysis from Noccalula Falls Park in Alabama.

This article appears in the June 9, 2023, issue of the Frederick News-Post.

I am a volunteer with Frederick County’s Office of Highway Operations Adopt-a-Road program. I pick up litter on about a mile stretch of Crestwood Blvd. between Ballenger Creek Pike and New Design Road.

It’s one of the best and worst things I’ve ever done. It is undoubtedly a needed function and I’m proud to help. But trash is never-ending and wearing me down.

I don’t do it to be a hero, although many people honk and yell thanks to me as they drive by. I do it because all this trash truly offends me. I hate looking at it so I try to eliminate it. I know it harms the environment and animals and decreases property values. But, I’m almost ashamed to say that it is mostly aesthetics that gets me out on the highway almost every day.  

I also do it for exercise. I know that sounds crazy but my mindset is: “I’m taking daily walks anyway so why not bend over and pick up some trash while I’m at it?” All these ‘bend-overs’ approximate sit ups but accomplish a public good while I’m doing them. You can’t say that about exercising at a gym or in your basement.

Adopt-a-Road Stats

Highway Operations staff tells me that approximately 85 miles of county roads have been adopted. That means volunteers (individuals and teams) have agreed to pick up trash on their adopted roads at least four times per year and report their efforts back to the county. This sounds impressive until you consider that the county maintains over 1,300 miles of roadway. Unfortunately, we’re picking up just a drop in the bucket of the available roadway trash.

If you are so inclined, you may volunteer to adopt a stretch of road in Frederick County by contacting the Department of Highway Operations at 301-600-1564 or by emailing extremely helpful staffers Mike Ramsburg (mramsburg@frederickcountymd.gov) or Casandra Fitzpatrick (cfitzpatrick@frederickcoungtymd.gov). Both can explain the program and help you get started.

There are currently 45 teams in the program which are comprised of hundreds of volunteers. Approximately 70 percent of the teams are civic or neighborhood groups and about 20 percent are religious groups. Ten percent are families or individuals like me.

My experience

Some stretches of road are easier to pick up than others. Judging from what I’ve seen, mine is not so bad.

It helps if your road is close to a residential area. Residents, at least in fairly affluent areas, tend to pick up their own trash or not throw it in the first place. Much of my road is residential but is unfortunately bookended by two strip shopping centers with a Wawa and an Auto Zone along the way. Trash from these establishments is plentiful, to say the least.

I also have several schools nearby.  I’m not blaming all students who walk this stretch. I know many are fine, young people. But I have personally seen some go into Wawa for a drink and candy bar, finish it, and promptly throw their trash on the ground. They don’t even try to hide it. It seems second-nature to them.

When people honk to thank me, I usually don’t pay too much attention. My feeling is I’m going for a walk anyway. Why would I not pick up trash along the way?  Other times I am annoyed because I don’t want thanks, I want help. Or better yet, I want people to stop throwing their trash out. Unfortunately, I am beginning to see most people as potential trash throwers, not thankful citizens.

A few walkers I pass by when picking up trash thank me and claim to do the same thing in their own neighborhoods or in a past locale. I find this sad and funny at the same time because I’ve never, ever seen anyone bend over to pick up any trash they are walking over. Not once.

Why is this? Such a simple act could help so much.

Could it be that there is a sense of futility in picking up litter? After all, as soon as you pick up one batch a new one blows in. I frequently feel this futility.  Could it also be the old elementary school mindset that “I didn’t do it!” Most likely, people just don’t notice trash like I do, or they don’t care. I probably expect too much.

The author by his Adopt-a-Road sign in Frederick.

The psychology of littering

The psychology of littering fascinates me. And why not? I can’t figure out what could possibly motivate us to do such an antisocial thing when it is so easy to do the right thing.

Studies show that some littering is accidental – like the trash that blows out of dumpsters and garbage trucks – but most is indeed intentional.

This fact is stupefying to me. I can think of nothing simpler than bringing my trash home and throwing it in the garbage can where it belongs. It is second nature. I do this not because I am some kind of do-gooder, but because, to me, this is the simple nature of things. At the risk of sounding terribly old-fashioned, I don’t have other people shop for me, clean my house or deliver my food. Those are my jobs. And I sure don’t want other people picking up my trash for me.

According to a report done by Keep America Beautiful, people are more likely to litter when they feel “no sense of ownerships for parks, walkways, beaches, and other public spaces.” This sense of ownership, instead, is found around people’s homes and neighborhoods.

“It seems the reason people litter is not because they think it’s OK,” says Joshua Rottman, assistant professor of psychology at Franklin & Marshall College in Lancaster, Pennsylvania. “It’s because they think it’s the easy thing to do. It’s a moral hypocrisy. People know it’s wrong, but they do it because it’s easy.”

Who are these trash throwers? (Litterbug is too cute and polite a term)

In the 1980s, the Institute for Applied Research found that people most likely to litter were 18-to 35-year-old males. Not a big surprise, right?

In more recent surveys, this finding was corroborated. Seventy-two percent of people observed in the act of deliberate littering were found to be under the age of 30. Nationally, males were found to be responsible for 72 percent of all intentional littering. 

What could be driving this young male carelessness?

Could it be a youthful disdain for authority?  A not yet fully developed brain?  The lack of consequences for this seemingly minor act of civil disobedience? The inability to trace their actions to eventually harming the environment? A sort of hopelessness to ever being a functioning part of society? Unfortunately, pinpointing the reasons for littering have proved elusive to the research.

Observations

I hate to say this but my findings are iron-clad, largely corroborated by the available research and were developed over several years of picking up trash along my stretch of highway: the lower the economic status of the area, the more trash is strewn about. There is much more trash around apartments than around single-family homes or townhouses in my area. And there’s much more around subsidized housing.

I drive around Frederick quite a bit for my part-time job. Obvious lower-income areas have much more trash than their share. Psychologists have observed that the presence of existing litter was strongly predictive of littering behavior. It’s a vicious circle—if you’re in a place that’s already got a lot of litter, you’re much more likely to litter. That’s one reason I’m out there almost every single day. I hope to make littering stand out and perpetrators feel just a little bit bad.

Of course, before people can throw out their trash, they need trash to throw.

I’ve had my hands on what seems like tons of trash, and I can tell you one of the biggest sources of trash is our old friend McDonald’s. It seems intuitive. The food at McDonald’s is among the cheapest and lowest quality available so of course the folks at the lower ends of the economic spectrum disproportionately get much of their food there and are disproportionately willing to throw the residual trash on the ground.  

In my little area I’ve got two liquor stores nearby and they are the next biggest offenders. Miniature bottles of liquor seem especially made to be thrown out. They are not very visible, consumed quickly and may not be welcome at home in the trash. I’d like to see them outlawed.

I even stopped in at one of the liquor stores on my route to ask if they would be interested in helping me pick up the trash their customers make. They looked at me like I had two heads.

Other major offending items are plastic grocery bags, napkins, fast food bags, soda cups and bottles, beer cans, cigarette packs, water bottles, Slim Jim wrappers (of all things) and candy bar wrappers.  It’s probably not a coincidence that many of these items aren’t good for you.

One person on my route is so brazen they tear up their junk mail with name and address clearly visible and throw it in the median of Crestwood Blvd. in the very same spot every day. Naturally, I’ve called the sheriff’s department on this person many times. Deputies are sympathetic and try to talk with this person, but when they show up at his door, he simply refuses to answer. The deputies tell me there is nothing they can do in that case. I don’t particularly want to get this person in trouble, I just want him to stop.

Another person (or maybe the same one) disposes of a Wawa coffee cup, a Sizzli ™ package, two or three empty snack pie packages, napkins, and get this—a bottle of laxatives—every single day. I’m sympathetic but fearful. This person has some serious problems and may not be around much longer to litter. How do I know it’s the same person? The same items are in the very same spot every day. They must walk to work and gleefully eat and dispose of breakfast packaging along the way.

I do get a little humor out of this.

One time I found a shopping cart along my route so I just started pushing it and throwing my trash in there instead of the kitchen garbage bags I usually carry. I was dressed in my rattiest clothes of course, so I’m sure I must have looked homeless. Wouldn’t you know it that about that time my son drove by and honked. Later, I found out he asked my wife if I was okay.

I suppose I’ve made my corner of the earth a little better. My stretch of highway is in pretty good shape and better than most but never perfect. The truth is, before I started doing this, I was pretty much oblivious to all the trash along the highways. I suppose most people are. Now I am super-sensitive to it and it disgusts me. I guess I’ll keep doing it, but I have to say I’m a bit sorry I ever started this in the first place.

Five Facts about Littering

1. U.S. roadways accumulate over 51 billion pieces of litter per year.

2. There are an estimated 6,729 pieces of litter per roadway mile.

3. On average, there are 152 pieces of litter for every U.S. resident.

4. Litter cleanups cost the U.S. an estimated $11.5 billion annually.

5. The presence of litter in your neighborhood or community lowers property values by 7%.

Source: Roadrunner Recycling, 2022

Litter on Crestwood Blvd. in Frederick

Francis Scott Key’s lasting legacy can be seen everywhere in Frederick County

by Gary Bennett

Francis Scott Key

This article appears in the June 8, 2023, issue of the Frederick News Post’s entertainment insert “72 Hours.”

Can there be any doubt that Frederick is indelibly linked to Francis Scott Key and vice-versa?

He lies in eternal rest at Mount Olivet cemetery in Frederick, was born at Terra Rubra in then-Frederick County (now Carroll County), practiced law in Frederick and was a parishioner at All Saints’ Episcopal Church in Frederick.

Sure, he did his best work in Baltimore on that fateful night in 1812, but you must admit, he plays a decidedly second-fiddle role to Edgar Allen Poe in Charm City. But in Frederick, he’s the man!

Although Key wasn’t around 275 years ago when Frederick County was founded, the upcoming celebrations culminating in the 275th Jubilee on June 10 https://www.frederickcountymd.gov/8454/Frederick-Countys-275th-Jubilee got me thinking about Frederick’s most famous native son and the mark he left.

He didn’t become famous until some years after he penned what become our Star-Spangled Banner so it’s unlikely Frederick could ever have been “Key City.” But we did the next best thing.

I’m not sure he would be altogether pleased, but quite a few things in Frederick are named for our favorite son. My top ten are:

  1. Francis Scott Key Mall
    The mall on the south side of Frederick has seen better days, but it endures. Sears is gone but Macy’s, JC Penney and Dick’s are still around to serve our shopping needs.
  2. Francis Scott Key Hotel
    Now the Francis Scott Key Apartments, this stately hotel was a grand Frederick achievement in its day, operating successfully from 1923 until 1975 on West Patrick Street. It was the place to be.
  3. Francis Scott Key Apartments
    This historic structure and former Francis Scott Key Hotel was purchased from Homewood Retirement Center and completely refurbished in 2002 as elegant apartments in downtown Frederick. I’ve been inside; they are very nice!
  4. Frederick Keys
    Frederick’s very own minor league baseball team began play in 1989 just a long fly ball from where Key is buried. Was there ever any doubt about the Frederick team’s nickname?
  5. Scott Key Center
    This well-respected institution on Rocky Springs Road serves intellectually and developmentally disabled individuals by providing employment opportunities and community involvement.
  6. FSK Post 11
    The American Legion Post on Taney Avenue recently celebrated its 100th anniversary and has been welcoming and serving veterans from all branches of the Armed Forces since 1919.
  7. FSK Lions Club
    This venerable service club recently celebrated its 60th year of service to Frederick. They loan medical equipment, provide vision screening and help feed the hungry. Full disclosure—I’m a proud member.
  8. Key 103
    Our community radio station with the call letters WAFY plays top-40 music and supports Frederick with contests, events, and charitable donations. If only they aired the Orioles!
  9. Key Parkway
    This Frederick thoroughfare parallels the Golden Mile and provides a respite from all the traffic signals and retail establishments. It goes on for miles and serves several Frederick neighborhoods.
  10. Francis Scott Key Drive
    This winding commercial thoroughfare just south of Frederick’s downtown area features Enterprise Rent-a-Car, Econo Lodge, Sheetz, car dealerships and other small businesses.

Plenty of Frederick-area businesses have also attached themselves to Key.

They are, in no particular order: Key City Tattoo, Key Pilates, Key City Foundation, FSK Audi Lincoln Mercury, FSK Beauty and Wig Supply, Key Elements Counseling, Key Courrier, Key Environmental, Key Financial Group, Key Maritime, Key Neurology, Key Solar, Key Me, Key Visual Solutions and Key Pest Control.

Special mention goes to Keymar, MD and Francis Scott Key High School in Union Bridge, MD.  Did I miss any of your favorites?

Keyote, mascot of the Frederick Keys

Best boat ride in America: Ferrying Delaware Bay

By Gary Bennett

Cape May/Lewes Ferry maneuvering into port.

This article appears in the May 11, 2023, edition of the Frederick News Post’s “72 Hours” insert.

If you are looking for a fun weekend excursion that combines small town strolling with an “ocean” cruise to get you there, you can do no better than booking a ride on the Cape May/Lewes Ferry across Delaware Bay and exploring the charming, historic town of Cape May, New Jersey.

Technically, you won’t be cruising on the ocean, but you’ll be very close. Your route across Delaware Bay borders the Atlantic Ocean but in the more protected waters of the bay and closer to shore. Cruising on a smaller vessel across calmer waters provides several advantages. 

Advantages of small-scale cruising

You’ll get the same sense of carefree, wind-in-your hair adventure but without the multi-day or week-long time commitment that an Atlantic Ocean cruise up or down the East coast will cost you. You’ll get the same sense of wonder and personal insignificance (a good thing) that comes when you can see nothing but water. You’ll have smaller crowds and a lack of scheduled activities that so many of us crave. You’ll definitely feel like you’re not missing anything.

These are just a few of the reasons the Cape May/Lewes Ferry has earned its reputation as the “best boat ride in America.” This is a phrase they proudly use in their branding, and I believe it.

As an added bonus, you’ll also be able to take your car along for the trip!

There will be no need for expensive air fares or rental cars before or after this cruise. The Cape May/Lewes Ferry is an essential route from Virginia, Maryland and points South up the East coast to New York and New England. Thousands of workers and day-trippers use the ferry every day on one of its many roundtrips. It beats I-95 and the New Jersey Turnpike by a country mile. I’ll never take either of these clogged routes again to New York City or beyond.

About the ferry

The Cape May/Lewes Ferry is actually three ferries that take passengers and their vehicles (if they wish) from the village of Lewes, Delaware at the mouth of Delaware Bay to the town of Cape May, New Jersey on that little peninsula that sticks out like a human appendix on the southern shore of New Jersey. And back again, of course.

Reservations are required. I recommend making them months in advance. The ferry is very popular but it does run about 10 round trips from sun up to sun down every single day. Prices can vary depending on the season and your type of vehicle, but the average price is around $50-$60 for a round trip. There are modest discounts for seniors, children, AAA members, the military and first responders. Well behaved pets are allowed, too.

You can book your tickets and gather more information at https://www.cmlf.com/.

My wife and I have taken this cruise a few times, and each time has been absolutely delightful. Of course, it helps if you can cruise during the summer months so you can stand outside, do your best hands-free pose on the Titanic bow, Jack and Rose style, and feel the cooling ocean and bay breezes rushing by. From this vantage point, the sense of speed and covering huge chunks of territory is quite palpable.

The cruise across Delaware Bay itself takes only about an hour and a half to cover the 17 or so nautical miles from terminal to terminal, pending bay conditions. But you also need to figure in the time it takes to get to the terminal and waiting for your ship to come in, so to speak.

From Frederick, the departure terminal at Lewes, Delaware is a pleasant three-hour car ride, across the Chesapeake Bay and along the flat lands of Maryland’s Eastern shore and Delaware to Lewes. You literally can’t miss Lewes unless you drive your car into the bay. (If you do, you’ve gone too far.)

Boarding

Once you get to the terminal in Lewes, you’ll be glad to know they have the boarding process down to a science.

Nevertheless, I recommend you get to the terminal an hour or so before your appointed departure time so you can prepare to board and enjoy the many amenities. Be sure to watch a ferry or two come in to get a feel for the choreography. It helps to build anticipation too! The terminals in Cape May and Lewes are both charming and functional, complete with restaurants, gift shops, historical information, play areas for the kids, pleasant walking areas, occasional outdoor entertainment and wonderful breezes.

The ferry terminal at Cape May is imposing but you’ll have no trouble.

First, you’ll drive up to the toll booth, present your reservation and be issued a ticket. Then you’ll be directed to the staging area where you’ll queue up in numbered lanes according to your arrival time and other factors such as vehicle size. Next, you can depart your vehicle and enjoy the amenities or stay with your car. I highly recommend you leave your vehicle behind and head for the terminal for all the fun.

Finally, about 20 minutes prior to boarding, you’ll be called back to your vehicle to prepare to board. Once on the ferry, you’ll be directed to park “nose to tail” with other vehicles on the lower deck, depart your vehicle and head upstairs to enjoy your cruise.

Size doesn’t matter

Don’t worry about the size of your vehicle. The ferry can accommodate vehicles as large as RVs, tour buses and even large tractor trailers carrying interstate cargo. Your heavy-duty pick-up or plus-size SUV will only engender yawns from the helpful staff. Bikes and motorcycles are welcome, too.

Having your vehicle along is handy if you plan to venture up to Atlantic City for gambling or a show or points further North, but it’s not necessary. The ferry drops you off just a short walk from historic Cape May along the Cape May Canal. Shuttles are also available.

During our last trip, we headed up to Atlantic City to see Boz Scaggs in concert for my wife’s birthday, but we saw many folks with just their bicycles along for cycling around Cape May, and many others who had nothing with them but their smiles. They obviously planned to walk around Cape May and return to Lewes on a later cruise. We even saw some unaccompanied teenagers dressed for a day at the beach.

On the ferry

On board, you will enjoy snacks and light fare from the grab and go areas and beer, wine, cocktails and soft drinks from the outdoor Lido bars.

Numerous first-come, first-served indoor and outdoor seating options abound, but I highly recommend standing for your hour and a half voyage outside, (if you can and weather-permitting) so you can easily move around the vessel to enjoy different sightseeing vantage points. You’ll enjoy spotting far away lighthouses, picturesque harbors, bobbing buoys, strange-looking seabirds, and humongous ocean-going vessels.

Ellen Bennett enjoying ocean spay and bay breezes.

If you’re lucky you might even spot dolphins or whales playing in the sun or the ominous fin of a shark protruding from the water. The vessels are safe and smooth-sailing, but you’ll still want to hold onto the railings as you cut swiftly through the water.

Cape May

Cape May, New Jersey is known for its stunning homes that go back to the Victorian era, charming, walkable streets and pristine beaches on Delaware Bay and the Atlantic Ocean. It has the distinction of being the oldest seaside resort in America. Be sure to visit the Cape May Lighthouse and the World War II Lookout Tower on Cape May Point and the Fisherman’s Memorial on Cape May Harbor.

Lewes

Lewes, Delaware is a small but growing town that was one of the earliest founded towns in America.  It is home to amazing views of the Atlantic Ocean and numerous waterfront dining establishment. It is well worth getting up early to watch the sun come up in the East over the Atlantic.